He entered the apartment, his eyes drawn to the book resting on the coffee table. After giving the book to Bones, he'd returned to the store and purchased an identical copy for himself. He'd opened it a couple of times over the last week, thumbing through the pages, just to feel a little closer to a friend he was sure he was losing.

Booth had no idea how right he was at the time.

"Damn her," he muttered, knowing he wouldn't go after her this time either. What he'd said to Angela had been the truth. It was her decision, and he would do nothing to influence her.

She'd said no, afraid to lose her best friend. And they'd lost each other anyway.

Now, he picked the book up into his hand and flipped through the pages again. Wondering what mistake he'd made giving her the gift. Then closed the cover slowly and holding it like a frisbee, threw it with everything he had across the room.

It shattered several items on the bookshelf when it struck, the pieces falling to the floor along with the book. It fell open to the only personal page he'd included in his, a copy of the x-ray taken after he was shot by Pam Noonan.

"Figures," he muttered, stepping away from the mess to get a drink. Before considering and grabbing the entire bottle instead. His headache was no better and a touch of his hand to his forehead told him he probably had a fever. The perfect addition to his already less than perfect Christmas.

The footsteps behind him were tentative, stopping at the threshold of the room. He took a long swallow from the bottle before turning. "I'm fine," he said before she could ask.

Pressing her lips together, Hannah nodded slowly. The fever was clear in his eyes as they met hers. But it was more than a virus weighing him down. "Is Temperance fine?" she asked, noting which book lay open on the floor. She'd noticed the strong reactions he had whenever his partner was mentioned. And knew what it meant for the two of them. Internally, she shrugged. It had been fun while it lasted.

"She's fine, I'm fine, everything is fine," he said again. But looked away from her eyes as he took another long drink from the bottle.

"I'm glad that you think everyone is fine, Seeley. But you're not fine," she said

He blinked, as if the thought of her disagreeing had never occurred to him. He looked at the mess around the room before shrugging. "Sorry about the mess. I'll clean it up."

Hannah took a step forward, choosing her words carefully. "Are you talking about the mess on the floor, or the mess we've made of things?"

"We've made a mess of nothing, Hannah," Booth said, angry that she'd see their relationship that way. "What have we made a mess of?"

"You," she said, choosing to use the blunt method that Temperance always favored. He apparently prefered it, and the woman who wielded it with such efficiency. "You and I have made a mess of you."

"I'm not a mess," Booth said. His voice rose dangerously, before he took a breath. He wasn't a mess. Except for the fever and the emotions he didn't have the energy to control. Bones had left, again, but Booth was with the woman he'd chosen. He wasn't a mess.

Glancing from the bottle in his hand to the mess on the floor, she raised an eyebrow. "So if you aren't a mess, what are you?"

"What the hell do you want from me?" he demanded, slamming the cover back on the bottle. It seemed losing the afternoon in alcohol wasn't going to be an option. Probably for the best considering he'd come down with some sort of flu.

"I want us to have an honest conversation about you and about me and about Temperance. I feel like we owe that to each other."

"Bones is a friend. Do you think I'm the kind of man that would cheat on you?"

"No," she said quickly. "I don't believe you would physically cheat on me." Knowing the rest would upset him, she came forward and took the bottle from his hand. "But there is more than one way to cheat, Seeley. By not giving all of you, you are cheating me. But," she continued, stepping past him to return the bottle to the shelf, "I'm not exactly giving you all of me either."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Booth closed his eyes. "Hannah, I don't have the energy for riddles. I just want to sit down and not think for awhile. Can we just skip this for now?"

"No, we aren't skipping this," she said, motioning around the room with her last word. "We have been skipping this for far too long. Where do you see us going, Seeley? I'm guessing marriage? Children?"

He reopened his eyes to look at her. "Yes, to marriage. I'd like more children, but if you don't want any, that would be fine." Except in his dreams, he always saw a girl with darker hair and blue eyes. He'd assumed those eyes were Hannah's.

Smiling gently, she ran a hand down his arm. "I don't want to get married, Seeley. Maybe not ever. I'm not even sure I want a semi-permanent relationship. And kids?" she gave a disbelieving laugh, "I don't want those either. We want very different things. Our relationship was already on shaky ground."

He reached out to grab her hand, but she pulled away.

"And you aren't over Temperance. Maybe you never will be. Just like I'll never be ready for marriage. We are two people who are committed to very different things and it's not each other. What kind of life will that be?"

"I thought I was what you wanted," Booth said. He was a little desperate, realizing that all the women in his life were walking away from him. How did he keep managing to screw this up?

Could he just skip Christmas and get to the new year? The way he was feeling at the moment, it was possible he could just sleep his way there.

"You were, then. But this is now and I won't stay when we're both going to lose. I'd lose some time, maybe pieces of my heart. But you," Hannah shook her head, "I think you have a chance at something really, really great. And I won't be the reason you don't get that."

"Bones left," he blurted out suddenly. "She left and I don't think she's coming back this time."

"Where'd she go?" There was nothing but compassion in her voice and wasn't that weird. She'd just broken up with the man and she was asking about the woman he'd been in love with for years. And she wasn't even jealous of it.

But he shook his head. "It doesn't matter. How long do you need to pack?"

"An hour. Maybe two. Go to bed Seeley. You look like hell. I'll be gone when wake up. You probably won't even hear me leave."

"There's boxes in the other room." Shrugging off his coat, he moved past her and then turned back. "Merry Christmas, Hannah. Be careful when you go back to the war zones." Not waiting for an answer, he went into the bedroom they'd shared until just a few moments before.

"Merry Christmas," she called and stood staring at the door before finally going to grab her things. Behind her, the glass on the floor twinkled like the lights on the Christmas tree they'd never finished decorating.