A/N: Hi! I didn't anticipate posting this chapter so quickly, but I heard a song today that just made the words for this chapter fly. Please give Liar by LÉON a listen. This chapter holds a *TISSUE WARNING*. I bawled like a toddler with a skinned knee writing the last 500 or so words of this chapter. This is such a deeply cathartic effort for me. I only wish that I was brave enough like this Bella, so that I could've gotten my closure. These are the words I only wish I had said.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. All creative credit goes to Stephenie Meyer for creating this little universe that I like to meddle in. ;D
Chapter 4: Closure.
BELLA
Six Months and Ten Days Ago
(AKA Before Edward)
Even though I knew what Ben's answer would be before he even said it, it still knocked the wind out of me.
I sat there not knowing how to process Tyler's selfishness, feeling so much in one moment. First came the trepidation, because I even had to deal with the situation in the first place. Next came a wave of self pity. A deluge of anger.(because fuck him!) Last, but certainly not least, was disgust. As that feeling roiled in the pit of my stomach, it turned into physical nausea accompanied by a vision of Tyler and Katie.
I'm gonna puke.
That was my last concrete thought before I leapt from the bed, hand clamped tightly around my mouth, as I battled for control over my esophagus.
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After a bout of painful retching that left me dizzy, I washed up and exited the bathroom.
Angie was hovering by the door frame with a bottle of water and some pain killers that I accepted gratefully. Ben was nowhere in sight.
I sat on the foot of the bed cradling my head in my hands, gripping my hair tightly at the crown, trying to find my words.
Of course, Angela spoke first. "I told Ben what happened." She confessed with a guilty frown. My head popped up, much too quickly for my wine soaked brain, and I groaned. She quickly tacked on, "Not everything! I just said that he was unfaithful, and y'all had a fight."
I snorted, loudly. Angela could never say an unkind word about anyone, even those deserving of it.
"It's okay that you told him Ang. He probably would have figured it out soon anyway." Breathing in deeply, I asked, "Is he still here? Tyler?"
Even saying his name made me queasy.
Angela nodded slowly, and a weird smirk climbed up her face. "Last time I checked he was. But I'm not sure what state he's in right now. Ben rushed out of here, muttering something about 'killing a fucker', so take your time." She winked, and for the first time since that disaster of a frat party, I laughed. It was a little watery, but it counted.
Underneath Ben's layer of gentility and easiness, lay a badass, black-belted, certified ninja.
I put a little a hustle into my stride, because if anyone was going to beat the shit out of Tyler Crowley today, it would be me.
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The tableau laid out before me in the living room was literally the best thing I'd seen all day. Ben was standing behind the couch, eyes laser focused on the back of Tyler's bent head, jaw muscle ticking and hands fisted. Tyler's forehead held a sheen of sweat, his hair a wild mess with restless fingers woven in.
At the sound of my approaching footfalls, two heads whipped in my direction: Ben's, a mixture of livid and contrite, and Tyler's, a portrait of uneasiness.
I set my face in a mask of indifference and addressed the elephant on the couch. "You. Outside. Now." I didn't check to see if he followed, but marched straight towards the patio slider door.
I had managed to maintain control until he touched the small of my back. I stiffened, and the magma-like ball of rage in my core that had cooled, turned molten in an instant. I sidestepped his touch and slammed open the door, waiting until he stepped through to close it. I could still see Ben the Security Guard in the kitchen leaning against the wall and glaring above my head at the 6'3" asshole behind me.
I could feel the heat of his body, stealing into my personal space.
That was Tyler's patented pleading move. Any time we'd have an argument, he would practically smother me in earnestness and sincerity, until I'd break. Looking back, I could clearly see the manipulative bastard in him.
Fucking hindsight.
I knew he was here to beg forgiveness or offer an explanation, but I wasn't interested in being manipulated.
So I took control.
"Sit down, Tyler." I spat. "And don't fucking touch me." I gazed at him, a sneer twisting my lips, until he sank into a lawn chair. Cowed by the venom in my voice, his mouth snapped shut. I began to pace in the cramped area of the patio.
My brain buzzed with a dozen different questions, but the red hot rage churning in my gut demanded to know… "Why?" I asked.
As if sensing an opening, a weakness, he sat forward and simply said, "I was scared, babe."
Ignoring his term of endearment, I snapped. "You were scared? Of what?! Katie's vag? Because it sure didn't look like it to me!" I yelled.
Annnnd nice Bella officially checked out.
Tyler had the gall to roll his eyes in his 'Bella, you're being irrational' way. My hands clenched into fists so hard that my knuckles cracked.
Pushing past my hostility, he said, "Don't be ridiculous, Bella. I was freaking out about the move, finding a job, finishing my certification for PT, and other stuff…" He trailed off, swallowing thickly.
I scoffed so hard that I nearly choked on my spit, and he hurried on.
"Then Garrett made it his mission to get me shitfaced last night. Like, he broke out the expensive shit. Herradura Suprema. And you know I don't say no to excellent tequila." He waggled his eyebrows, a move that normally brought on my giggles.
But it only stoked the fire.
As much as I wanted to knock the smirk off of his face, I realized that I wanted to know everything, for closure. I knew that I would never see him again after this clusterfuck.
Feeling wildly antagonistic, I prompted, "Let me guess what happened next. Completely plastered, you went to lay down, and 'accidentally' fell dick first into your ex-girlfriend?"
"No!" Tyler shouted, his face turning puce. "Fuck, Bella, it didn't happen like that!" He leapt to his feet, pacing like a caged animal.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught movement. I turned my head just in time to see Ben reaching for the sliding door, but I waved him off. Three years with Tyler taught me that no matter how morally bankrupt he may be, he would never lay a finger on me in anger.
Ben, overprotective as always, stepped onto the patio, eyes measuring the atmosphere. He glared at Tyler with thinly veiled contempt, clapped a hand on his shoulder, and said "Crowley, you'd better remember who you're talking to and how; or, I will lay your ass out." Glancing my way, he shot me a wink, mouthing "Carry on." He shot Tyler one last baleful glare, and returned inside.
I turned back to Tyler, bolstered by my backup, more resigned than angry.
"Cut to the chase, Ty. I just wanna know why. Let's just get this over with." I sighed.
Deflated by the finality in my tone, he dropped his large frame back into the cheap plastic lawn chair, shoulders rounded and heavy. "Why do you want to know this, Bella? It happened. It's over. Can't we just move on?" He queried.
I didn't feel like explaining myself to him, so I settled for, "Because I deserve to know." I wrapped my arms around my chest, preparing myself for his answer.
He seemed to sag further. In a lifeless tone, he recounted the ending of his woeful story. "Okay... I went up to my room to get your graduation present. I was all in my head, and drunk off my ass. Then in walks Katie, and she starts making small talk, but something was off. She was upset. When she started crying, I hugged her, but then she just kinda… jumped me. I was so caught off guard that we fell back on the bed. And then she kissed me, but I swear that I pushed her off. At first. Then she made this...proposition. Said that she wanted one last 'goodbye fuck' before we never saw each other again." Tyler stopped to suck in some air, but I was battling nausea again. "But then, in some weird way, what she was saying started to make sense." He stopped talking for just a second, a breath, and then his expression turned frosty. "And we weren't having sex anymore. It was always 'not now' or 'I need to study' and when we did, you were 'too tired' to do anything but let me do all the work. Fuck. I just wanted to feel that fire again." He spat out.
Although his eyes weren't on me, I flinched. As much as I wanted to pin everything on him, he had me there. Our sex life lately had been lackluster at best, nonexistent at its worst. That realization stung.
I didn't need to imagine what happened next, because I had seen it with my own two eyes.
He tucked his face down and away from me, and said, "So I just… gave in. God! I'm so fucking stupid. I never meant for it to happen. I never ever wanted to hurt you." He scrubbed his hands over his face, groaning.
I cleared my throat, still raw from being sick, and then I spoke.
"Let me make sure that I have all the facts. You were stressing out about graduating, moving, and then finding a job. Right? Yet, instead of coming to me, your girlfriend, and letting me help ease the burden, or share mine with you, you confided in Garrett. The guy who believes that the solution to every single problem lies between a set of legs or the bottom of a bottle.
"And then, after you were all liquored up, you went upstairs. You let me wander around for half an hour, when you knew I hated situations like that. But that's not all. Your drop dead gorgeous ex-girlfriend somehow 'accidentally' wanders into your bedroom to catch up, and she's visibly upset. You dated her for a full year, you should've been able to tell if something was wrong. You could've made a different choice. I was so wasted last night, and you didn't find me in bed with a rando, nor did I take advantage of someone's distress!" I stopped abruptly to catch my breath. Tyler had yet to meet my eyes as I ranted. After a moment of weighty silence, I continued.
"You don't think I know that our sex life was missing something? I don't need to explain how fucking stressful the last semester has been. I'm sorry that my education took priority over our intimacy, but that does not give you a free pass to fuck another woman. No matter how much stress. No matter how drunk." I enunciated every syllable.
Tyler finally looked up, and the defeat in his eyes made the tears that I had managed to hold at bay trickle down.
With a soul deep sigh, I drove the final nail in our coffin. "There is no coming back from this, Tyler. No amount of pleading, begging, or manipulation will make me open myself up to you again." I waited until he met my eyes before I let him see everything.
The hurt. The ache of his betrayal. Three years of trust broken. The love that we would never share again.
To my surprise, his eyes shone with remorse and self loathing, liquefied into salt water. That only made my own tears flow faster.
Without bothering to wipe my face, or clear my throat, I stated "I gave you all of me Ty. I gave you my heart, and you tore it to shreds. I gave you my soul, and you tried to extinguish it. I gave you my past, and you disregarded it. I gave you my trust, and you disrespected it. I just hope that she was worth it. Please go, and don't come back."
Although my voice was shaky and wispy, he respected my wishes and left without a backwards glance.
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A/N: *Sad sigh* A moment of silence for the death of Byler? Tyella? Swanley?
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Lol. Enough of the heavy guys! I promised y'all humor and fluffy romance when y'all signed up for this. I keep my promises!
Raise your hand if you wanna meet Edward? He's right around the corner!
Another promise: Mopeyella will not be making an appearance.
Until the next time, loves…
XOXO Anarchy
(Please review!)