Chapter nineteen

Keith was the only one who remained now. The rest of the team scattered, off doing whatever they pleased. Though none of them were at ease after all that had happened. Keith, especially, was struggling with it. Everything he saw, everything he'd experienced. Now he really could imagine what it had been like for Shiro. He pulled his sleeve up and studied the white bandage, that covered would soon become, a long scar along the inside of his forearm. He couldn't imagine what kind of things remained beneath Shiro's shirt. The memory of him lashing out at Shiro zapped back across his mind. He couldn't fathom what type of mark it would leave, and almost wished not to find out. But what else could he do? Run away? Leave so he didn't have to face it? But how? He couldn't do that to Shiro?! He was like a brother!! The thought of walking away from him was unimaginable. How would he react?! Though Keith knew the answer.

"He wouldn't let me go anyway..." he thought out loud in a low voice. "He'd probably come looking for me." The Red Paladin kept his hand pressed to the glassy, light blue shield that covered his friend, glancing tenderly through it at him.

Shiro gazed across the friendly darkness of his own mind. He couldn't help but feel relief in seeing this. The void he'd seen his uncle in, held a terrifying chill in the air. This air being as thick as a heavy fog; though without the obscuring of vision. Instead, here, he could manifest whatever he pleased; as this was the one place he knew he had, at least, SOME control. Shiro let his thoughts flow freely, knowing that he hadn't anything to fear... or fight. On the far right, long skinny lights formed tracks from which memories and thoughts ran. The star-like lights scattered throughout the large dimly-lit area, added a little extra light to this indigo blue world. Streams of lighter blue and purple lights, like the Aurora Borealis, waved across, what would be, the sky; like a banner painting the wind. Shiro smiled, he finally felt at peace for once, 'well mostly at peace', he thought. He knew his mind was still an unpredictable, sometimes untamable, creature that even he desired not to deal with. But seeing as how he couldn't avoid it completely, he knew he'd have to just make do with what he could. As he stood there studying everything, another train of thought came by. The train gained his attention as it passed; and what he saw dragged his mind with it...

The train came in the form of Memory bubbles; each depicting a new memory. All of which Shiro recognized immediately; and as each one passed him, he was zapped back to each moment in turn...

He and his uncle laughing and playing together when he was a child.

Shiro and his mother starting to try and move on after Micheal's death.

His mother's disappearance.

Shiro going to the Garrison when he was of age.

Meeting Sam and his family... and later Keith. And the relationships with them that followed.

His struggles with his health issues, and the debate about the Kerberos Misson...

Shiro sat in a Garrison lounge; his gaze fixed on the floor, a troubled and frustrated expression on his face. Another person, a commander, came to sit down next to him.

"I know this isn't how you wanted things to go." Sam Holt told him with a sympathetic, sighing breath; his gaze downcast as well. "But we have to keep trying. You and I both know that you're perfect for the job. There are risks to any mission,... this one is no different." Sam, then, looked over at Shiro, who's gaze never changed.

"They don't think I can do it." Shiro finally responded quietly. "I'm not good enough."

"That's not true." Sam responded firmly, keeping his tender tone. "They're just worried about your mental health. That one mission seemed to REALLY test your sanity quite a bit... Iverson and I were worried you wouldn't make it without completely cracking under the pressure."

"But Sam, it was one time!" Shiro snapped, still strongly attempting to hold his tongue. "Anyone should be allowed a pass after a mission like that!"

"I know, I know." Sam agreed gently, patting his shoulder. "I'm just saying, the Garrison's job is not only to raise up the best astro-explorers in the country,... but to also take care of them too. They just don't want to be liable if you get hurt."

"They wouldn't be liable if I wanted to do it; regardless of the risks." Shiro's intense gaze met Sam's soft tender one. "I've already made it clear to them, that anything that happens is not on them. It's on me."

"I know, but I'm sure there's someone that might." Sam reminded him. "Family?"

"Heh, what family?" Shiro scoffed standing up. Sam's eyes widened at Shiro's sarcasm; something he didn't hear from him often. "My father is dead and my mother hasn't been seen since I was young. My aunt raised me. And then she left as well... as soon as I was able to go to the Garrison."

"Doesn't mean she still doesn't care about you." Sam stood up with him, their gaze locking once more. You still talk to her don't you?" Shiro was silent. "Shiro?" Sam pried.

"Sometimes." Shiro shrugged. "I promised her I'd stay in contact... but it's not the same... and with Micheal gone I-.." Shiro trailed off, cutting his statement short.

"I know." Sam agreed slowly. "But I won't give up." He went on; his voice lightening. "I know that you're perfect for this mission and I'll try my best to get Sanda and the others in agreement."

"Yeah, well good luck." Shiro was being both sarcastic and serious at the same time. Sam dropped a firm hand onto Shiro's shoulder. Sam's eyes bore into Shiro's lovingly.

"Shiro, I will never give up on you." The commander told him. "Now you need to not give up yourself." Sam's hand slid off his shoulder, and Shiro thought deeply about this...

As Shiro returned to the void from the memory, he realized that that was exactly what he told Keith at one point. He grinned knowingly, 'I guess I did have a good role model', he thought. Looking back; many things he'd told Keith had once been told to him, up until now he hadn't truly realized how wise he'd become over the years from the people he'd known. He knew that learning gains wisdom, but for the longest time he felt that he didn't have any real examples to base his life off of. But now he realized even though they weren't around for every part of his life. He'd always had at least one person to look up to in different parts of his life. And he was thankful that they had been there. His parents, his uncle, his aunt, Sam, and even Keith had taught him a thing or two. That these people had a big impact on him... bigger than anything they could imagine; and bigger than he'd ever realized before. He, now, got a strong sense of ease and confidence now, knowing this. And remembering the team he had waiting for him right now, he vowed, in that moment, to do all he could to get them back to Earth safely. He knew they had families waiting for them, and wanted them to be able to see them again. And he also didn't want the families to feel the same pain he did, of never being able to see their loved one ever again; like he did with his mother.

"Whatever it takes." He said out loud, his voice echoing in the empty space. His mind, then, slowly began to fade away, but he was being pulled the opposite direction; and knew exactly what this meant...

Keith had been sitting there on the steps leaning against the pod, asleep. He hadn't left the room, since Shiro was put into the pod. He knew Shiro wasn't in any immediate danger, but he still couldn't leave without knowing the Black Paladin was out and alright. He cared too much about shiro to leave and 'do his own thing'. Keith was suddenly jerked awake, he sat upright and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Looking up, he was startled by the rest of the team standing there, scattered throughout the circle of pods.

"How long have you guys been here?" Keith groaned, recovering himself.

"Almost ten minutes." Pidge told him matter-of-factly. "Shiro should be waking up soon." A whooshing sound validated her statement, causing them to look in the direction of the sound. Shiro's pod deactivated and he slowly emerged from it; Keith standing there to help him immediately.

"Shiro?" Keith addressed the Black Paladin, hoping that he could hear him again. No response. Shiro rolled his eyes up to look at them, as he straightened up.

"Still can't hear?" Keith motioned to him. Shiro closed his eye and hung his head, then shook his head a moment later. Everyone sighed, frustration building on them, the weight of it beginning to crush them.

"Ugh! His hearing should have returned by now... shouldn't it?!" Hunk vocalized their concerns.

"Yeah." Pidge sighed, then went on, as she began typing something on her computer. "But maybe we can take another look and see..." Just then a strange noise vibrated from the computer, a screeching high-pitched one; though it wasn't very loud volume-wise. The team closed their eyes and put their hands to their ears to block out the noise. Shiro grimaced as a ringing in his ears began, causing him to suddenly feel a little dizzy. He felt as though his head would explode!

"Ahh, Pidge can you turn that off!" Shiro groaned. Hearing Shiro's voice everyone in the room froze, as the sound seemed to die down on its own.

Hey everybody! Finally adding to this story! So a few things to inform you guys about:

1.) I will hopefully have chapter twenty done in the next couple of days, and posting it, concluding this story.

2.) Going along with the conclusion, I am thinking about writing a sequel for this fic. One that kinda explains some past things that were touched upon in this story. I guess it would be a form of Shiro backstory/type thing based on the flashbacks and explanations given by Shiro in his story. Idk, let me know your thoughts!

3.) starting January 7th I will be takin a break from fanfic. I will be back after the 26th. I may be able to post something the 15th, but I'm not sure yet.

Anyway thanks so much for the support and love! As I said there is only one chapter remaining and I hope to get it done before my break. Also I would really like to hear a yay or neigh on the sequel. Anyway still next time fanficers! Thx!!!