The Legends Still Live On
Bogen Fünf: Es ist 'Die Teezeit von Gloriana!'
Kapitel Sechs: Dienerin Darjeeling
XXXXXXXXXX
"Welcome home, master," Darjeeling greeted as she bowed. She was currently wearing a maid's outfit. "Do you know this saying?"
"Do you want dinner?" she began as she turned a bit away and stretched her arm toward to the person she was talking to.
"A bath?" she continued as she faced forward again and brought her hands together.
"Or perhaps..." Darjeeling continued as she winked and pointed up to her face.
"Darjeeling?" she ended while pouring a cup of tea, most likely Darjeeling tea.
She was apparently talking to both Dennis and Douglas. All of them were at an open door. The two boys were in their normal school uniforms as they looked on at Darjeeling with a blank look, almost as if hypnotized. They stood there for a few seconds before Dennis slammed the door and the two started away. Darjeeling grew a bit alarmed, but she quickly recovered and opened the double doors again.
"Oh my, Dennis," she began with an inviting look. "You don't have to be shy! Welcome! Don't hesitate and come on in!"
Dennis and Douglas simply groaned out a "What?" as they unwillingly turned back to face Darjeeling.
"Welcome to the maid Darjeeling's estate!" she beckoned as she spread out her arms to gesture to their current place. It was an English estate that currently had her Churchill Mk VII parked out front.
XXXXXXXXXX
A moment later, both Dennis and Douglas were seated at a table inside with on-edge looks as they looked around the place.
"I wondered what was going on after Lady Darjeeling called, but..." Dennis trailed off.
"I wonder what influenced her this time?" Douglas wondered.
"Did you know this saying?" Darjeeling began as she approached while pouring a cup of tea. "'One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.'"
"Schweitzer, wasn't it..." Dennis recalled. "For a moment I thought I was having a bad dream, but this is real. And what the heck is up with your outfit?"
"How is it? Does it suit me?" Darjeeling asked as she struck a pose with her outfit. "It's your 'Miss Maid,' the personification of service and affection!" She then exited her pose. "As gratitude for your everyday efforts, I will offer you my best service!"
"But there's no need to worry about-" Dennis began with a hand raised, but was cut off.
"Don't be reserved and enjoy the service!" Darjeeling called out as she ran off. "I'll go make some lunch, so please wait!"
Dennis kept his hand raised as he looked on with a blank look. Douglas shook him by the shoulder to snap him out of it as he held a similar look.
Both soon snapped out of their states, and Dennis said, "But aren't Lady Darjeeling's cooking skills..."
"Are you familiar with them?" Douglas wondered.
Both then entered thought with dark looks. Finally, Douglas said, "It's not like we're going to die."
"I hope so..." Dennis spoke.
"Sorry for the wait, Dennis!" Darjeeling called out as she rushed toward the two with a cart holding a covered dish.
'Here it comes!' Dennis thought as his face hardened. 'Don't omit out of curiosity!'
Darjeeling stopped and then pulled off the cover. "It's Darjeeling's special handmade omelet rice!"
'Ah, it's unexpectedly normal...' Dennis thought upon seeing the dish. He grew relief after seeing it was normal-looking.
Darjeeling then greatly diminished any of Dennis' hopes of it being a normal dish when she splattered an entire bottle of some black substance all over it. Whatever said substance was, it now made the dish look very unappetizing.
Dennis grew a hypnotized look as his spirit tried to leave his body upon seeing the new dish.
"Oh! Just what have I done?!" Darjeeling remarked as she raised a hand to her face. "There's no space to write something with ketchup!" She then started searching her body for something.
"It's not that!" Dennis' spirit tried to tell her.
"Ah," Darjeeling began as she pulled out another bottle. "Good that I happened to have some mustard here!"
And so Darjeeling wrote out the word 'Love' atop her dish using the mustard. In the process, she had also ended up forcing Dennis' spirit back into his body like a demon.
Dennis then picked up a spoon and tried out the dish offered. Upon taking the first bite, he already looked ready to hurl. "Ugh..." he moaned in distaste. "Guh... It's delicious..."
"Oh, really?" Darjeeling replied with an appreciative smile. "I'm glad!"
Douglas was watching in horror as Dennis continued eating the dish offered, even though he was ready to upchuck it.
"Douglas!" Darjeeling called.
"Ha-! Yes?" he turned to her with a start.
"I wanted to do your favorite roast beef, but it would have taken too long, so I couldn't finish preparing it," Darjeeling revealed with a hand up at her mouth.
"Nonononono, don't worry!" Douglas denied as he shook his head rapidly with his hands out. "I'm not hungry, so just this little is enough!"
"Oh, really?" Darjeeling asked. She then uncovered another dish she brought. "If that's the case, then have a light portion of fish and chips!"
'That's heavy!' Douglas thought as he grew ready to hurl at Darjeeling's latest dish.
XXXXXXXXXX
"Do you know this saying?" Darjeeling asked a bit later with a finger raised. "'My appetite comes to me while eating.'" She then winked. "You two! Don't be afraid to ask for seconds!"
"Montaigne, right..." Dennis recalled while trying to keep his lunch down. Both he and Douglas had their heads on the table after they finished their dishes.
"No thanks, my belly and stomach are already full, ugh," Douglas denied as respectfully as he could while trying to hold down his lunch.
XXXXXXXXXX
Later, after both Dennis and Douglas recovered, all three of them heard a vehicle park out front beside the Churchill. It was Ooarai's 8,8 cm Flak 37 Sfl.
"It seems like a car drove up," Dennis observed as he heard the sound.
"You said 'car,' but that sounds like something much heavier," Douglas remarked as he heard the vehicle pull up.
"Did you invite someone besides us?" Dennis asked Darjeeling.
"That's right!" Darjeeling confirmed as she started to the door. "The folks from Ooarai!"
Outside, the group from Ooarai consisted of Erich, Miho, Anton, Saori, Herz, Hana, Nathan, Yukari, David, and Mako, all in their school attires. After the rest had already gotten off, Erich was currently helping Miho down from the FAMO's platform like a gentleman. Miho took his offered hand and came down. She had a shy smile and a blush at the sudden politeness from her lover.
"I want to return the hospitality!" Darjeeling elaborated from inside. Dennis and Douglas had grown a look of horror at the idea of the Ooarai bunch having to suffer from Darjeeling's cooking.
Darjeeling had opened the double doors and was now greeting the Ooarai bunch. "Welcome home, master. Do you know this saying?" she began before pulling some sexy maid poses. "Do you want dinner? A bath? Or perhaps... Darjeeling?"
During her greeting of the Ooarai group, Dennis and Douglas were forcibly looking away. Dennis then hesitantly looked back to them out of the corner of his eye.
He noticed all but two of the Ooarai bunch looking on at Darjeeling with hypnotized looks. Miho was giving a warning glare to Darjeeling, and she had her arms around Erich as well to get her point across that Erich was hers, and hers only. Erich himself was looking on at Darjeeling in amusement. He snorted a few times as he tried to hold back laughter.
'Nooooooooo!' Dennis thought in despair 'We're so sorry!'
XXXXXXXXXX
Later, everyone from Ooarai was seated at a large table inside.
"Help yourself to Darjeeling's special omelet rice!" Darjeeling granted as she set two of her dishes in front of the group. "I'm also proud to give you a large serving of fish and chips!"
The Ooarai folks then dug into their 'food.' All but one of them started growing sick looks as they ate on.
"Is this an MRE?" Yukari commented in a lifeless manner.
"This isn't that bad," Erich commented. He was unaffected by the food, unlike the others. "It reminds me a bit of eiserne Rationen."
'This is the first time I've seen the folks from Ooarai in such a mood!' Dennis thought in alarm as he looked on at the scene.
Darjeeling also noticed most of the Ooarai folks start hanging their heads. "Don't they all somehow appear to be unhappy?" she observed with a hand raised to her mouth. "I wonder if something happened to them..."
'Something did happen to them! Just now, in fact!' Dennis thought as he observed close by with a deadpan look.
"I just wanted to have a fun time with them, even if it's just for now…" Darjeeling commented as she grew a bit of a sad look. She then regrew a more energetic demeanor as she set off with determination. "Let's bring them some more tasty things!"
"Lady Darjeeling?" Dennis tried. He and Douglas were at a table. But Darjeeling had already gotten out of earshot, and the two British boys looked to each other.
"Call him," Douglas requested.
"Way ahead of you," Dennis responded as he pulled out his phone and dialed Arthur's number. He then waited for him to pick up.
"Tally ho!" Arthur greeted over the line a few seconds later.
"Sir Arthur, we have a code 7," Dennis began with clarity. "We need to enact 'Bodyguard.'"
"Oh, boy," Arthur sighed upon recognizing the meaning of Dennis' words. "Alright, I'll round up the troops. We'll be there soon."
XXXXXXXXXX
Some time later, Darjeeling was furiously working in the kitchen as she tried to make another dish.
"I wonder if there wasn't enough oil," she said to herself as she rushed to make her next dish. "Tally ho!"
Soon, she finished and stepped away from her work. "I wonder if this will be to everybody's liking?" she wondered as she rubbed the sweat off her forehead.
"Lady Darjeeling!" she heard Arthur's voice.
Darjeeling turned around to find Arthur, Dennis, Douglas, Orange Pekoe, and Assam there. The girls were in maid outfits like Darjeeling while the boys were in butler outfits.
"I'm sure you are familiar with this saying," Arthur began with his small yet confident grin.
"'Sharing one's lot with another,'" all five of the new servants quoted.
"Let us show hospitality to the folks from Ooarai together!" Assam suggested.
"Lads!" Darjeeling began with a pleasantly surprised look.
XXXXXXXXXX
"Everyone!" the Ooarai folks heard a bit later. They snapped out of their previous states as they turned to find Dennis and Orange Pekoe coming with some tea.
"We brought you all a second serving of black tea!" Dennis offered as he and Orange Pekoe served out another serving of tea. "Please enjoy it while it's still hot!"
"Ah, thanks Dennis," Erich thanked as he and Miho took a cup each. Erich downed his very quickly, almost as quickly as a snap of the fingers. "That was real tasty!"
"I tried making tea with the tea set you gave me," Miho began while holding her tea as she talked to Orange Pekoe. "But I couldn't make it quite as tasty as this."
"Ah, well how about we have a tea party next time?" Orange Pekoe offered. "I can show you how to brew tea."
"Really? That would make me really happy!" Miho replied with a great smile.
"That sounds nice," Erich replied with his calm smile.
From the sidelines, Darjeeling was watching with curiosity of how things were going.
"Ooh, lemme see! Lemme see!" Saori excitedly said. "Especially that 'Jumping' thing!"
"Of course!" Orange Pekoe granted with a smile.
"Saori, it's not like you're actually going to jump, right?" Hana remarked.
From the sidelines, Darjeeling was still watching the scene, and she grew a great look of accomplishment at seeing her original plan working out so well now.
David and Mako then spotted something that made them raise their eyebrows in surprise.
"I'm sorry about the continuance of oily things," Assam began as she and Douglas served out some delicacies. "Please rid yourselves of the aftertaste with these scones!"
"Ah, how nice," Herz commented as David and Mako both energetically reached for delicacies.
"I have a joke to accompany these sweets," Assam started again. "The customer said,' Hey you, isn't there a fly in my soup?' To which the clerk replied, 'Don't worry, this meat won't be added to the price.'"
Both Herz and Hana started to snort heavily, but they covered their mouths to muffle it. They attracted the attention of Saori, Anton, Douglas, and Assam. Anton and Saori were looking on at the two snickering people in confusion, while the two Brits saw it as an opportunity.
Douglas spoke up with, "'Doctor, my child swallowed a pen! What should I do?' 'Use a pencil instead!'"
Herz and Hana started snorting harder as they tried to hold in their laughter. It was only just barely working, and their faces were starting to grow red because of their efforts to muffle themselves.
'They love them,' Douglas and Assam thought in bliss upon seeing people laugh at their jokes.
"Herz, what's up?" Anton wondered. "Wait…" he trailed off as Herz leaned on his shoulder to control his laughter.
"Isn't it strange?" Saori tried. "Hana?" Hana had similarly leaned onto Saori's shoulder to help with her laughter.
"Ouch," both Anton and Saori reacted as Herz and Hana started hitting their shoulders to release their laughter. "Ouch."
"Ha…" Herz began as he calmed down from the jokes he found hilarious. "I… Mean, fly… Meat…"
"Pencil…" Hana started as she started calming down from her great laugh. "Pe… Pe… Ha…"
David and Mako just sat there and ate their delicacies as if nothing was happening.
'Well, Sir Arthur, there's some other people here with the same senses of humor as Sir Douglas and Lady Assam…' Dennis thought with a deadpan as he and Orange Pekoe observed the scene.
"Pencil!" Arthur got out as he leaned over in laughter. "A masterpiece, no matter how often I hear it!"
He then realized with a start that he hadn't seen Darjeeling for a few minutes.
XXXXXXXXXX
"I'm not going to lose to them!" Darjeeling proclaimed as she came out of the kitchen with another dish of hers. "Darjeeling's special toast with plenty of dark marmite!"
Orange Pekoe and Dennis managed to stop her, though, as they held out their hands.
"We already put out the scones," Orange Pekoe informed.
"Let's save this for another opportunity," Dennis suggested as he took the dish and headed back to the kitchen.
XXXXXXXXXX
"Finally done!" Darjeeling proclaimed as she came from the kitchen later with yet another dish. "Well-cooked and juicy roast beef, with plenty of bouillon!"
This time, Assam and Douglas stopped her with their hands held out.
"Right now, such heavy food would be a bit like 'that,'" Assam informed.
"So let's save this for another opportunity," Douglas suggested as he took the dish back.
"Lady Darjeeling, you already gave your best showing hospitality to the lads, so why don't you just take a small break?" Arthur suggested. "Go ahead and play with your smartphone."
'I don't know how to use this!' Darjeeling thought as she stood there frozen with her phone out. She then settled for playing around on her phone, but she soon lit up with an idea.
XXXXXXXXXX
Later, all of the Ooarai folks were gathered out front of the estate as they said goodbye to the other Brits.
"This was really fun!" Miho complimented.
"The sweets were really tasty," Erich complimented with his everlasting calm smile.
"Please come again!" Arthur wished them as the Ooarai group prepared to leave.
"Wait!" Darjeeling cried out as she ran up to the gathered group with a bag in hand.
"Lady Darjeeling!" Arthur spoke with a start as he looked back to find her.
Darjeeling arrived by the Ooarai group. "I don't know if this suits your tastes, but please take this as a gift!" she offered the bag with an inviting smile.
"Thank you!" Miho thanked as she accepted the bag. "You really go from A to Z…"
"We'll have it on the way home," Erich promised.
"I'm honestly very happy about today!" Miho commented with a smile typical of her as she leaned up against Erich.
"Perhaps we can have a tea party at our place next time," Erich offered with a calm smile as he wrapped an arm around Miho's waist. Everyone else from the group appeared to be similarly pleased with the time they spent there.
The group then got up into their 8,8 cm Flak 37 Sfl. and set off out of the estate. Darjeeling waved to them as they left.
"La-Lady Darjeeling!" Arthur began in a bit of a jumpy manner as he came up beside Darjeeling. "I just want to ask you just in case, but what exactly did you gift them?"
Darjeeling raised a finger and began, "Darjeeling's special fresh mellow. A large serving of eel jelly!"
Arthur dropped his jaw in shocked disbelief.
XXXXXXXXXX
Darjeeling's 'Do You Know This?' Cuisine
'Origins of Eel Jelly'
Otherwise known as jellied eel, eel jelly is a traditional dish that originated from 18th century England!
It's a healthy menu of the working class, made from eel cut into cylindrical tubes and cooked together with cooled collagen!
You can eat it warm or cold!
XXXXXXXXXX
Later out on the streets of the HMS Ark Royal, the FAMO came to a stop by the side of the road as its white flag popped up. Almost everyone aboard was sick to themselves from the eel jelly they had eaten.
"Oh, come on, Miholein," Erich began. He held no choice now but to comfort Miho as she lost her lunch. He was kneeled beside her and stroking her back in comfort as she remained on her knees and threw up over the side. "I know you've also had eiserne Rationen, and this isn't that bad in comparison."
He then rethought his words as he saw everyone else hurl their food, as well. He was not a part of said hurling because he appeared completely normal. "Well, okay, I guess it is worse than eiserne Rationen, but it's definitely not worse than an MRE."
Miho soon exhausted herself after barfing, and she practically collapsed against her boyfriend's chest. She was red in the face as she took some breaths to relax, and Erich held her to aid her relaxing.
"You know, if someone had seen what just occurred out of context, they'd probably think you were showing the symptoms of being pregnant," Erich offhandedly commented to pass the time. The others were down on the ground trying to recover for themselves. "Appearances can be interpreted quite a bit, you know, and in interesting ways, too. I find it hilarious at times."
Miho's face grew even redder as she blushed at her boyfriend's unintended insinuation. She snuggled further into her lover's embrace, and she traced out her stomach with one of her fingers. "You know that I would love to have children with you..." Miho quietly and shyly revealed to Erich. "I'd be elated if I could be pregnant with a child of our own creation..."
"I know that very well. It's not very hard to guess what you're thinking, you know," Erich calmly replied as he continued holding her. He then leaned closer to her ear and quietly continued. "But that's one thing I have to deny you, at least for now." He then gently held the hand on her stomach. "While I'm sure we're up to the task of raising children, it would be utter hell on us if we started while we were still in school. Not to mention Maho and Alfred would probably kill us if they ever found out we're even having such sexual activities in the first place, and they'd probably torture us for the rest of our lives if you ended up getting pregnant. I don't know about you, but I want to be alive and well after we're done with school."
Miho whimpered a bit as she cozied even more into Erich. "But I just love you so much!" she whined with her face turned to his. "I just can't wait!"
"Sorry, Miholein, but that's the one thing I'm gonna have to tell you 'no' on, at least for now," Erich finalized. In response, Miho pouted in a way that made her look even cuter in Erich's eyes, but she remained leaning against him anyway.
'Of course,' he continued in his thoughts, 'if you want, I would be willing to have us get married to each other while we're still in school. If you really want to, that is. I mean, it would be kind of expected anyway considering Maho and Alfred already called it a long time ago.'
Both of them then dropped the subject as they stared off at the sunset while they waited for their friends to finish upchucking their eel jelly.
"We did warn everyone against how awful English food can be, did we?" Erich wondered as the two of them continued hearing their friends barfing for what seemed like hours.
XXXXXXXXXX
All people have different things they're good at!
Part of Projekt Jägermeistern.
XXXXXXXXXX
The author doesn't claim to own "Girls und Panzer" or any other references made. "Girls und Panzer" belongs to Actas. Any references made belong to their respective owners.
Feel free to ask any questions if you have them. Please note, however, that questions asked without being signed in will not be answered. The author would prefer to address questions outside of the story, and leaving questions while signed in provides that ability.