I had to include some South Park craziness eventually.

Big thanks to my friends for being my idea buffers for this story! Especially Kimmy, who was the inspiration for the hellspawn you're about to meet. She asked for it, so don't think I'm making fun of her!

There were a lot of things people didn't know about Satan. He had a son, Damien. He was gay. He wanted nothing more than to live on Earth (and ravage it with hellfire). He also had a little sister. She'd randomly appeared in Hell one day and started calling him her brother, so he was happy to oblige. It wasn't lonely while she was there, but his sister had a friend on Earth who she loved to visit. It had been a while since either of them had heard from her friend, and Kimmy (his sister) was getting worried. She was out searching for her friend, or to be specific, her friend's mother.

"Lisa!"

The brown-haired woman jumped at the sudden voice before she saw the speaker. She let out a sigh of relief at the sight.

"Oh, Kimmy! It's just you."

"Yeah, just me. Is Kate around?"

"Well, no. She's not with me anymore."

"WHAT?! YOU KILLED HER?!"

"Oh, God, no! I just asked a friend to take her in!"

"Where?"

"South Park, Colorado."

That name seemed to spark something in Kimmy's mind. She pulled out a small notepad and pen.

"Address?"

Liane got up when she heard a knock at the door. She opened it to see a girl with waist-length reddish-orange hair wearing a black-and-white baseball cap. The girl was holding an overnight bag, as if she'd been travelling for a while.

"Can I help you?" Liane asked.

"Yeah. My name is Kimmy Morningstar, and I'm looking for Kate Meyer—I mean, Kate Cartman," the girl replied.

"Come in, then. Kate's upstairs." Liane let Kimmy in before she came to the bottom of the stairs. "Kate! Someone's here to see you!"

"Coming, Mom!" came Kate's reply. The brunette came running down the stairs and stopped when she saw Kimmy. "OH MY GOD! KIMMY!"

"Surprise!" Kimmy announced, throwing open her arms. Kate rushed in for a hug and Liane couldn't help but smile.

"Mom, can Kimmy spend the night?!" Kate asked excitedly.

"Of course, sweetie! She seems nice! I'll go make some cookies for you two while you get her settled in your room, okay?"

"Okay!"

"I'm nice?!" Kimmy scoffed as she and Kate headed upstairs. "I'm the sister of motherfuckin' Satan himself! The goddamn Antichrist is my nephew!"

"Shush!" hissed Kate. "My brother is still home!"

"Oh, he is? Well, he'll be downstairs with me eventually, so might as well meet him, right?"

"Right…"

Kate led Kimmy into her room and the female demon gave it a once-over.

"It's a great room, for someone who hasn't had a permanent home since kindergarten." She flopped on the bed. "I'll sleep here."

"Nope. You get the sleeping bag."

"Aw, c'mon!"

"Sorry, Kimmy. That's my bed."

"Boo, you whore." Kimmy took the sleeping bag that Kate had pulled out of the closet. "Fine, I'll sleep on the floor."

"And I've got school tomorrow, so no late-night adventures, okay?"

"Ooh, a permanent home and no homeschooling? You've moved up in the world."

"I know."

"Now, about your brother…"

"No, you can't burn him, even if he is an asshole."

"Boo, you whore."

Kate shook her head, laughing. She knew Kimmy never meant it when she insulted her, which is why the 'whore' comment didn't bother her as much as it would've bothered other people. The 'boo, you whore' thing was something Kimmy had been saying for years, as her way of saying, 'you suck, but okay, I'll do the thing'.

"Hey, why don't you come to school with me tomorrow?"

"You mean sit in one room for eight hours listening to somebody drone about information I'm probably never going to use since I live in Hell? Sure, sounds great. I can mess with some fuckers who I'm probably going to see there eventually."

"Thanks, Kimmy. Don't forget to make it like you're supposed to be there with the faculty."

"I know."

The next morning, Kate showed up at the bus stop with Kimmy in tow, looking happy to be with her friend again.

"Hey, Kate!" Kyle greeted her. "Who's this?"

"This is Kimmy," Kate replied. "She's my best friend."

"And the princess of Hell, bitch," Kimmy added. She looked over at Kenny and rolled her eyes. "Hi, Kenny."

"(Hey, Kimmy,)" he replied in his muffled voice.

"Wait, you're princess of Hell?" Stan asked in disbelief.

"Yep, and I can tell you right now, Fatass will be down there once he kicks the bucket." She gestured to Cartman.

"Fuck you, bitch!" he yelled.

"No, fuck you, Fatass!"

Kate let out a nervous laugh as the bus arrived.

In class, Mr. Garrison ignored the newcomer and went on with his normal lesson. Kimmy was quiet and docile until he called on Kate to answer a question.

"Now, who can tell me what is 327 times 3?" he asked. Kate raised her hand. "Katherine?"

"HEY!" Kimmy yelled. "Her name is Kate, dumbass!"

"I call her Katherine, Kimmy. Please sit down."

"NO, I WON'T!"

"Kimmy!" hissed Kate, tugging on her friend's sleeve. "Please sit down. It's fine!"

"Boo, you whore."

Kimmy sat down as she'd been asked.

Yeah, that gives you an idea of how the day went.

At lunch, Kimmy talked to Kate animatedly about what they'd each been up to since they'd last seen each other. Cartman and his friends watched the two from their lunch table, feeling confused as to who exactly Kimmy was.

"Kate has never mentioned her best friend is Satan's daughter," Cartman growled. "It's bullshit and I think Kimmy's making it up!"

"About what?" Butters asked.

"About being the princess of Hell! There is no princess of Hell!"

"(I believe her,)" Kenny replied.

"Of course you do, Kinney. She knew your name this morning and you think she's hot."

"(Dude, seriously! Fuck you!)"

"We need to see if she actually has powers."

"So, how do we do that?" Kyle inquired.

"We have two options: piss her off or we put Kate in some kind of danger."

"And if she is the spawn of Satan?"

"We kill her."

After school, Cartman grabbed his sister, claiming that he needed to take her to do something. She gave loud protest, but he ignored her.

"What the fuck?" Kimmy asked Kyle. "Is it normal for him to ignore his sister?"

"Yep. Sad but true."

"He's such a fucking dick. I can't wait until he's burning back home."

"Speaking of which, are you really from Hell?"

"What, you expect me to be red with horns and shoot fire all the time? I use my human form when I'm up here so I can hang out with Kate without freaking out the population."

"Oh. Do you have powers?"

"Of course I do. I just don't use them for the same reason I use a human appearance."

"Well, Cartman says you're lying."

"Cartman's a fat prick."

"He's going to try to get you to use your powers by putting Kate in danger."

"WHAT?!" Kimmy's eyes blazed with anger.

So did the ground around her.

"Holy shit," Stan whispered.

"CARTMAN!"

Kimmy vanished in a column of flame, obviously off to burn Cartman's ass for putting her friend in danger like that.

Needless to say, after that, Cartman one-hundred-percent believed Kimmy was Satan's younger sister.

"Owie!" whined Cartman as Kate put lotion on his burns. "Be careful, Kate!"

"I'm being as gentle as possible, dude. Sorry." She gave Kimmy a look. "Go gentler next time, okay?"

"Fine. Next time, I'll freeze him like the center of Hell."

Kate sighed as she wrapped bandages around Cartman's wounds. He gave her a grateful-puppy-dog look and she rolled her eyes.

"Well, see you guys later!" Kimmy said, hopping off the couch. "I've gotta go dump trash in Saddam's area of Hell."

Kate raised an eyebrow but didn't question it.

"I'll be checking in every now and then, so take care of Kate, okay, Cartman?"

"Boo, you whore."

"Good."

Once again, she disappeared in a column of flame.

"She couldn't have just used the door first?"

Short chapter today. I have a plan for next time, though. Remember Blonde Bitch Quinn? She'll be returning next time in all her bitchy glory and it's going down.

So long and thanks for all the fish!