Originally, my first chapter that was based off an actual episode was going to be based around my favorite episode of the series, "It's a Jersey Thing". I tried to write it, but it's proven to be a difficult episode to add a second Jersey kid into, particularly given Cartman's hatred of people from Jersey. That's why original chapters will be out more quickly than ones that are either based off episodes or holiday specials. Chapters based off episodes will require many viewings of the episode in question as I write the chapter in order to get the plot right. I'll be doing more specials as time goes by, like a Valentine's Day special and maybe even an Easter one, but this is what we have for now. That being said, this isn't based off "It's a Jersey Thing".

No, instead, I let the comments choose the first episode I adapt. It appears that the episode you guys really want to see—excuse me, episodes—are the 'Coon and Friends' arc. Yay! Seriously!

I'm going to change it up a bit, of course, with Kate in the picture. This chapter will sort of be an original chapter while being a non-canon follow-up to 'The Coon'. She, of course, knows Cartman is the Coon because Katherine Marie Cartman isn't oblivious, an idiot, or an oblivious idiot, like Eric Theodore Cartman.

Kate: Aw, thanks, Katie!

Cartman: SHUT UP!

Anyway, this chapter is setting up Melodyshock (Kate's) backstory, as well as her relationship with Mysterion. He knows who she is, but she doesn't know who he is, and that makes his crush on her worse. Yes, both Kenny and Kyle have crushes on Kate. This will factor into a later chapter, most likely the Valentine's special which will involve a Sadie Hawkin's dance of some kind.

OWTF!

In South Park, Colorado, there lives some of the dumbest people you will ever meet. I've travelled quite a bit in my nine years of life, and the adults of South Park are the least intelligent adults I've come across. Most places have dumb adults, but in South Park, dumb is a dangerous combination with alcohol, drugs, and sex. An abortion clinic is one of the most profitable businesses in town. Drug dealers walk free on the streets and the children of meth-heads go to my school. Drunken parties at night aren't thrown by high schoolers or college students; they're thrown by the people who are supposed to be the responsible ones.

I've only lived here a short time, but I knew I needed to help out.

My name is Melodyshock, and I'm a superhero.

By day, I'm a normal fourth grade girl. I go to school, argue with my brother and my friends, and daydream about the boy I like. By night, I become the musically-charged superhero the town needs. I partner with Mysterion, who welcomes me as his sidekick as long as I don't betray him like the Coon did. I can stun our opponents while he takes them down. Of course, I don't know who he is. He seems to like me, though, and I think he's figured out who I am…

Kate blew on her bare fingers in the chilly night.

Note: add gloves to your costume, dumbass.

"You okay?" Mysterion asked in his gravelly tone.

"Y-yeah. I just need to add gloves to my costume," she replied. "It's fucking cold out here."

"Nobody said this job would be cushy." He sighed and shook his head. "You can go home if you want, Princess."

"And leave you to do this alone? No way." She gave him a smile and he gave a tiny one back.

"You know, being a superhero isn't all fun and games, especially if you actually have a superpower like me and you."

"I have a superpower?" She sounded genuinely surprised.

"You stay positive in a town that doesn't seem anything but negative. Your knowledge of music and its different effects is unmatched. I'd say those are both superpowers."

They both thanked the darkness for hiding their intense blushes.

"Thanks, Mysterion." She bit her lip as she rubbed her hands together. "Yep, definitely adding gloves for tomorrow night."

"The streets look fine. The criminals must've gone to bed. We should, too."

"Yeah. See you tomorrow, Mysterion."

"Bye…" he replied, his voice trailing off as she walked away and vanished around a corner. "…Kate."

I walked home alone, making sure nobody could see me. Home isn't exactly my favorite place, but it's where my favorite person is, so I made sure to keep her safe. Karen is always my top priority.

Yeah, I'm Kenny McCormick, AKA Mysterion. I'm just your average fourth-grader, except for two things.

One, I work as a superhero by night.

Two, I'm immortal.

I don't know why I'm immortal. I've died countless times, only to wake up in my bed the next morning like nothing happened. I've seen Heaven, I've seen Hell, and I've seen what happens after each of my deaths. Only certain people seem to recall me having ever died, and they're either part of Satan's family or Cartman.

I don't tell anybody about my burden, because I know they won't believe me.

At least, until Kate Cartman.

When she arrived in South Park, I had the same opinion of her everyone else did: a too-sweet, fresh face that our town would chew up and spit out in a matter of weeks. She quickly proved us wrong, because under that sweet face lurked a girl who didn't take shit from anybody. She was the type of girl who thought on her feet and knew how dark and twisted the world could be. She, like everyone else in our town, had physical, mental, and emotional scars. Hers ran deep, but she tried not to let it show. I admired that, especially once she started going out at night as Melodyshock. Yes, I know her true identity. She can wear a mask, but she can never cover up some things, like her freckles, her green eyes, and her strength.

When she first became my partner, she wasn't like The Coon—I mean, Cartman. She actually cared about the city and stopping crime. Despite this, I can't tell her who I am. She and I are really good friends as Kenny and Kate, and a well-oiled machine as Mysterion and Melodyshock. Knowing my identity would destroy both of those things.

Cartman narrowed his eyes in frustration as he took the newspaper inside. The headline read, "MYSTERION AND MELODYSHOCK: WHO ARE BEHIND THE MASKS?"

"This isn't fair!" he whined to Kate, who was sitting at the kitchen table.

"What isn't fair?" Kate asked, looking up from her book.

"Mysterion and Melodyshock get all the glory as superheroes, while nobody talks about the Coon! He's just as good as them!"

"Well, the Coon doesn't exactly protect the city like they do," she pointed out. "He's more in it for the fame and glory; they're in it to keep the peace."

"How do you know that?! The Coon was here first!"

"Because I read, dumbass, and the Coon is nothing but an attention-whore who mongers his merchandise to become famous. He doesn't actually do shit."

"Fuck you! The Coon is the best! Mysterion and Melodyshock are probably just a couple of kids who make out instead of actually fighting crime!"

"My God, you brat. I know you're the Coon, and if you want attention, either start doing good or start up a superhero team!" She slammed her book shut (All I Need by Susane Colasanti) and started heading up to her room. Cartman's eyes widened and he grabbed her arm.

"Wait! Are you Melodyshock?!" he gasped.

"And if I am?"

"Then you need to stop being a superhero!"

"Why? Mysterion trusts me as his—"

"His girlfriend and sidekick?"

"His partner. His professional partner. There's nothing between us and there probably never will be."

"You need to stop being a superhero because that's my thing!"

"How about you stop being a dick and leave me alone?"

"Because I'll tell everyone you're Melodyshock and you won't be able to work with Mysterion anymore."

"If you do, I'll ruin the 'mystery' of the Coon for everybody. You keep my identity secret, I keep yours. Deal?"

"Fine." He released her arm. "Stay out of my way, bitch, or I'll make you pay."

"You got it, you fat asshole."

"But seriously, is Kyle Mysterion?"

"No, Mysterion has blue eyes. Kyle's are brown."

"Oh. Hmm…"

As I sat on the rooftop with Kate, watching for trouble, I let my more perverted side of my personality—the Kenny side—shine through. I looked her up and down out of the corner of my eye. For a nine-year-old, she was really pretty. Her costume didn't show it, though—a violet mask with a lavender top and a skirt that matched the mask, Bluetooth speakers attached to her belt at her sides, front, and back, and the most recent addition, violet gloves.

"Mysterion, my brother figured out who I am," she said out of the blue.

"He did?" I asked, disguising my voice.

"Yeah. He threatened to tell everybody, but I threatened to spill his secret if he didn't keep his damn mouth shut."

"Good job." I let out a raspy laugh. "He sounds like an asshole."

"He is, but… he's my brother. You'd be surprised how much he cares when he wants to, especially if you go to our school like he claims you do."

"What school?"

"South Park Elementary."

Before I could reply, there was a loud crash nearby, along with the sound of a woman screaming.

"Rapist?" Kate asked, preparing for the jump down.

"Possibly. More likely a burglar or mugger."

"Good to know. I'm thinking death metal or Justin Beiber."

"Go death metal."

I wanted to tell her, in that moment, who I was, but I couldn't. We just took down the burglar and resumed our watch. One day, I was going to tell her.

"Hey, Mysterion?" Kate asked me later that night. "I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Are you into me?" I choked on my own spit.

"Wh-why?!"

"I dunno. Before my brother figured it out, he said we were probably making out all the time instead of fighting crime. I thought it might be something one of us did, or maybe my brother was just being his dumbass self." I took a deep breath.

"Yeah. I do like you. As Mysterion… and as my civilian self."

"Wait, you know who I am?!"

"Yeah. It's your eyes and your strength. Nobody else has either of them." She stared at me with a surprised smile. "And your freckles."

She laughed and punched my shoulder.

"Well, who am I, then?"

"You're Kate Cartman. A fighter and a survivor." She tilted her head and looked deep into my eyes, to the point where I was uncomfortable. I wiped a bit of sweat from under my mask, giving her a sheepish look.

"…Kenny?" she whispered.

"Damn. Didn't take you long."

"I was pretty sure it was you, but I didn't say anything to be safe. Besides, I've never seen you without a mask or a hood, so I have no idea what you look like."

I made sure there wasn't anybody else around before I pulled my mask and cloak off to reveal my messy blonde hair. Her mouth dropped open as she was shocked into silence.

"…Kate, you alive?" I asked in my normal voice.

"Y-you're… damn. Hot damn, Kenny. You're just… damn."

"I thought you had a way with words."

"You're hot, okay?" She covered her face with her hands. "Ugh… sorry. Your voice is cute, too. You'd have girls all over you at school if you kept your hood off."

"I would?" Gears started turning in my brain.

"But… I wouldn't mind if you kept this just between us."

"No telling Cartman." I put my mask and cloak back on.

"Speaking of Cartman, I had an idea. We can start a superhero team to satiate his desire for fame and get him off our asses."

"How will that get him off our asses?"

"Think about it. He'll focus on the team and not us, and we can take down crime by night."

"You might have a point, Kate."

"Thanks." She checked her phone. "Shit. Gotta go home."

"I'll see you at the bus stop."

"Not if I see you first!" She jumped down and sent me a little wave.

I waved back.

My version of the origin of Coon and Friends. This chapter was mainly setting things up for the next three chapters: 'Coon 2: Hindsight', 'Mysterion Rises', and 'Coon VS Coon and Friends'. I hope you all don't mind, but I found Kate and Kenny more important to set up for those chapters. Cartman can go fuck himself.

Also, yes, I think Kenny is hot. Sue me.

So long and thanks for all the fish!