I know I promised the next chapter would be 'Coon 2: Hindsight', but something came up and I can't get that chapter out quite yet. I also wanted to write some Kate and Kenny fluff now that they know they're friends by day and crime-fighting-partners by night. I also wanted to throw in Kyle finding out his rival for Kate's affections is one of his closest friends. I'm a sucker for romantic rivalries, so making Kate the center of a love triangle was bound to happen with so many of her friends being single guys. Stan doesn't count; I will ship him with Wendy forever and you can't stop me.
This is just a fluff chapter. Nothing crazy, just slice-of-life and prep for the Coon arc.
OWTF!
The morning after that fateful patrol, I was waiting for Kate at the bus stop. I'd texted her to get there early so we could talk without the others nearby. Since she knew my identity and we had the plan to get Cartman off our asses, I wanted to discuss it with her. She always got up before Cartman, even on days after patrol. She said it's because he's a lazy fatass who can't be bothered to do the most basic of daily tasks: getting out of bed.
"Hey, Kenny!" she greeted me as she walked up.
"(Hi, Princess,)" I replied, waving.
"Oh, so the 'Princess' thing is permanent now?"
"(Yep.)"
"Cute. I'm not really a princess, though."
"(You're pretty like one.)" My cheeks burned as that little gem slipped out. Hers turned the same color, though for her, it might've been from the cold.
"A-anyway, onto the superhero team… we need to invite other people to join. It can't be just us and the Coon; that's like having just Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman in the Justice League."
"(Yep. Who should we ask?)"
"I'm sure Kyle and Stan will join, if only to shut Cartman up. I can probably convince Token and Clyde, too."
"(What about Timmy or Jimmy?)"
"That shouldn't be too hard. You can talk to them."
"What are you guys talking about?" Kyle asked as he walked up.
"Oh, we're discussing how to get Cartman off his little Coon power trip," Kate told him smoothly.
"Good idea. What's your plan?"
"We give him a superhero team, like the Avengers or the Justice League. That way, he has to work with them to get anything done, and he'll get bored and leave the real crime-fighting to Mysterion and Melodyshock."
"That's… not a bad plan. Count me in."
"Sure. What's your superhero name?"
"Um…" Kyle tapped his chin. "Maybe… Human Kite. I can fly and I have laser eyes."
"Cool. We don't have a superhero who can fly."
"What about you two?"
"(Us?)" I repeated.
"Well, I know who you are, Kenny, but what about Kate?" Kate stared at the ground and I could practically hear the click in Kyle's brain as he put two and two together. "Whoa. Wait, Kate is Melodyshock?!"
"Yeah," Kate admitted. "I just found out about Kenny last night on patrol."
"(Yep,)" I confirmed.
"Wow. I only knew because he told me when I got arrested as Mysterion."
"What?!" Kate gasped.
"He asked me for a favor and I helped him out. I didn't want to get arrested."
"Kenny, I will murder you if you make somebody else take the fall as Mysterion again. And I'll do it multiple times with Dubstep, Justin Beiber, death metal, and any other loud, obnoxious brand of music."
"(Okay. I'll take that seriously.)"
I'm immortal, and Kate knows that. She might not have remembered either of my deaths since she began living in South Park (one by Quinn Hart snapping my neck with a heavy textbook by accident, the other her father shooting me in the face), but she believed me about my powers and that's enough. I hoped to tell her more about how I thought my powers worked, but keeping Cartman off our asses was top priority for now.
"We should ask Stan, too," Kate told Kyle. "He might join up."
"Join what?" Stan inquired, tilting his head as he arrived.
"We're making a superhero team so Fatass will leave the real heroes alone," Kyle explained. "I'm Human Kite."
"I'm Melodyshock," Kate added.
"(And I'm Mysterion,)" I finished.
"Whoa, wait, Kenny and Kate are Mysterion and Melodyshock?!" Stan yelped. Kate covered his mouth with her hand.
"Shut up!" she hissed. "Do you want us to get arrested?!" He sighed and moved her hand.
"Sorry, Kate, but it's just a little hard to believe."
"I know, but just try to bear with us. So, you on the team?"
"Sure. Why not? Maybe I can use my dad's tools."
"Dude, you'd be like a toolshed!" laughed Kyle.
"Toolshed… that's my hero name. I'm a gadget guy."
We all started laughing as Cartman sauntered up. He shot Kate a look of triumph that plainly said 'I know your secret and I'm going to hold it over your head forever'.
"Hey, Cartman!" Kate greeted him.
"S'up, sis?" he replied. "Hear any good music lately?"
"Stop it," Kyle sighed. "We already know she's Melodyshock."
"Dammit! She told you?!"
"Yeah, and she invited us to join a new superhero team."
"A superhero team?" Cartman tapped his chin. "I want in, but it has to be called 'Coon and Friends'. I'm in charge."
"You got it," Kate replied, winking at me.
"And we have to get Mysterion to join. Kate, you get on that since Mysterion obviously has a massive boner for you." Kate turned bright pink and I covered my face.
"(I'll join,)" I said.
"Dude, no offense, Kinney, but you don't have a superhero persona."
"(Yes, I do, fucker. I'm Mysterion.)"
"WHAT?! NO FUCKING WAY!" He thought for a second and his expression morphed from shock to anger. "YOU'RE CORRUPTING MY SISTER! I'M GONNA—"
He was cut off by Kate slamming her book (So Much Closer by Susane Colasanti) into the back of his head.
"OW, KATE! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
"He's not 'corrupting' me. We've been nothing but professional since we teamed up."
"But Kinney's a pervert! Ask him about his magazines!"
Shit. Low blow, fatass. Kate turned to look at me in confusion.
"What magazines?" she asked.
"(I'll explain on patrol,)" I assured her.
"Don't get your poor-people germs on her, Kenny. I don't want her to come home with an STD."
"(What do you think we do, fat fuck?!)" I snapped.
Before Cartman could answer, the bus pulled up. We got on and I sat next to Kate instead of Cartman. I was still pretty pissed at him for insinuating that I was only partnering with Kate because I liked her. That was part of the reason, but still, dick move, bro.
"I'll go talk to Clyde and Token," I heard Kate offer to Kenny. "You handle Timmy and Bradley."
"(Okay, Princess,)" Kenny replied, walking away from her.
I couldn't believe Kate and Kenny were so close all of a sudden. First, they're the superhero team that's been protecting our town for weeks now, and he's calling her 'Princess'? Is that normal when they're superheroes?
Yeah, I was a tiny bit jealous. Kate was a super-nice girl who didn't care about fashion, makeup, and boys the way the other girls did. The girliest things I'd seen her do had been a beauty pageant and the constant stream of romance novels that made their way through her hands. I flipped through a couple of them; they're pretty generous with details.
Anyway, I guess you could say I had a crush on her. How could I not? She was pretty, smart, sweet, and tough. She could beat up on Cartman or a beauty queen like it was nothing. I admired her spirit and the way she didn't make fun of other people (except Cartman, but that was a given). I knew I wasn't the only boy in our class who liked her, but I didn't know Kenny liked her, too. I wondered if I still had a chance.
"Hey, Kenny!" I greeted him, running up behind him.
"(Hey, Kyle!)" he replied.
"So, you and Kate, huh?"
"(Yeah, I think she likes me, but I'm not sure. I showed her my face and she said I was hot. And that my voice was cute.)"
Shit. She was into him.
"Well, you know, Kenny, I like her, too."
"(That's why I haven't asked her out yet. I want to give you a chance.)"
"Thanks, dude."
"(No problem. Now I need to go talk to Timmy and Bradley.)"
He disappeared down the hall as I contemplated what he'd said. He was giving me a chance to ask Kate out before he did? Jeez, he was a good friend. I was going to ask Kate to the Valentine's Dance. We all knew it was coming; none of us knew when, but I was going to ask her. If she turned me down, I'd encourage Kenny to date her. Yeah, that's what a good friend did.
Of course Token and Clyde accepted my offer. They both came up with pretty good superhero titles: TupperWear and Mosquito. They agreed to meet in our basement that weekend in their costumes. Kenny got Timmy to come, too, so that left me and Cartman to get everything set up. He was designing the base while I was in charge of snacks. I was excited to be part of the team, if only to get Cartman to stop bugging me for being a superhero.
That weekend, everyone was there by 10. Mom and I had made cookies and punch, which I'd carried down to the basement with Kenny's help. Unfortunately, I hadn't gotten a chance to look at the base. The table in the center only had eight chairs, not nine. I double-counted to be sure, but nope. There were eight chairs and nine superheroes.
"Uh, Cartman," I spoke up. "There's only eight chairs. There's nine heroes in our team."
"No, there's eight," he replied matter-of-factly. "There's only eight heroes in our team: the Coon, Mysterion, Human Kite, Toolshed, TupperWear, Mosquito, Mint-Berry Crunch, and Iron Maiden."
"What the fuck?! What about me?!"
"No, chicks can't be good heroes if they're… romantically entangled. Unfortunately, my dear sister, you are romantically entangled."
"No, I'm not!"
"Both Mysterion and Human Kite have crushes on you. You're a distraction."
I let out a growl, preparing to punch him. Kenny noticed and ran over to hold me back.
"Let me go!" I barked as Kyle grabbed my other arm. "CARTMAN, YOU SEXIST, EGOTISTICAL, FAT, SELF-CENTERED SON OF A GUN!"
"Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before," he sighed, waving me off. I glared and tried to free myself from the boys.
"LET ME GO SO I CAN POUND HIS GODDAMN FACE IN!"
"Melodyshock," Kenny warned, using his Mysterion cover voice. "Now isn't the time. You're still my partner and a member of the team to me, even if the Coon doesn't think so."
"Same here," Kyle assured me. "Now, are you going to calm down so we can have the meeting?"
"Fine." I sat down on the floor next to Kenny's designated chair. "I hate this."
"Just sit there and look pretty," Cartman snorted. "Most female superheroes are sex symbols, anyway."
"I am NINE YEARS OLD; what is wrong with you?!" I screamed, leaping to my feet again. Kenny forced me to sit. "I hate you sometimes."
"Just keep calm, Princess."
I puffed out my cheeks in annoyance, but I sat anyway and let Cartman start the meeting.
"Okay, I think the first thing we need to do is establish everyone's backstories," he declared. "Melodyshock, as the sidekick to Coon and Friends, let's hear yours." Kenny kept a hand on my shoulder, as if to stop me from going off-the-rails, Jersey-girl, psycho-bitch on his ass.
"Fine. I was a normal girl who listened to a lot of music. One day, my speakers were plugged in, charging while they were hooked up to my phone when they got struck by lightning. Because of the lightning, they became super-powerful and I can use my already-existing knowledge of music for combat, defense, and healing."
"Good, but what's your tragic backstory?" I gave him a deadpan look and chose to go for reality.
"I was abused by my birth father and want to make sure nobody feels the pain that I felt by fighting crime, especially against corrupt, power-hungry people. Happy?"
"Perfect! Now, onto you, Human Kite…"
I'm a little ashamed to admit that I barely paid attention to everyone else's backstories. I was really pissed at my brother. How dare he call me a sidekick?! I was more of a superhero than he was. At least, that's what Kenny told me after our first patrol together.
Speaking of Kenny, I still can't believe he's Mysterion. I always felt a tiny bit awkward on patrol with him because I had a crush on Kyle at the time, but now… God… both of them have a crush on me! I hoped I wouldn't have to choose in the future. Oh, who was I kidding? Of course I'd have to choose. I knew how Kenny felt, since he'd told me to my face, but Kyle was kind of up in the air. Sure, Cartman was always teasing him about liking me, but I didn't know if that was Kyle actually liking me that way or my brother being an asshole.
I guess I'll know eventually, right?
As long as neither of them turn out like Mike or Cartman, I think I'll be fine.
Again, this is a fluff chapter. However, this is still setting things up for the episode chapters.
Something that might confuse you is which 'Mom' Kate is referring to when she says her mom helped her with snacks. Liane is 'Mom' or 'Mama', Lisa is 'Mother', or 'Mommy'. Also, as far as Kate being relegated to the role of sidekick goes, Cartman is a sexist asshole. He doesn't see Kate as an asset to the team; he sees her as a hinderance. Hopefully, this will come through in the arc when I put it up.
Last note to make is that Kate's final love interest will be picked by you guys. Based on how long it's taking me to get the Coon arc written, my guess is that the next original chapter after this one will be the Valentine's special. I want you all to tell me who you want Kate to end up with: Kenny or Kyle. This will impact the rest of the story, so choose wisely. I myself am remaining impartial, so keep your eyes peeled for the results in the Valentine's special.
So long and thanks for all the fish!