The Legends Still Live On
Bogen Sieben: Es ist das Ooarai Gegenmaßnahme-Treffen!
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On an unspecified date within the Rafale Fighter Café in Zürich, Switzerland, Nudelmann, Nonna, and Sasha were all having some drinks at a large table pre-reserved for them. Nudelmann and Sasha had vodka while Nonna chose to have some tea. All were in their normal school uniforms.
"Hello!" they soon heard two American voices greet them in a singsong tone. The Russians turned to find Kay and Chuck had come up to their table. Both were in their Saunders school uniforms.
"Did we keep ya waiting?" Chuck asked as he waved to the Russians.
"You're late, amerikantsov!" Sasha snapped at them as the Russians stopped drinking for the moment.
"Not so loud, Sasha," Nonna told Sasha with her calmer demeanor in response as she held Katyusha against her. Katyusha was sleeping with one of the café's small delivery Stukas in hand. Nonna then turned to the Americans. "Anyway, Katyusha got tired of waiting for you guys and fell asleep."
"Ah, sorry!" Chuck apologized.
"Did she get tired from playing with that toy of hers?" Kay asked in good nature.
"Anywho, those Brits aren't here yet?" Chuck asked as he and Kay sat down. Kay chose to press down the top turret on the small Boeing B-17 that served to initiate the Jericho-Trompeten of the Junkers Ju 87. Such a siren served to notify the café when someone was ready to order.
"Not yet," Nudelmann answered. "I wonder if those two are off selling oil somewhere…"
Soon, a couple of people in the café's uniforms walked up to take the orders of the table. One was a guy and another was a girl. Both looked somewhat familiar to the Russians and Americans.
"May we take your orders, ladies and gentlemen?" the guy asked with an English accent.
"Get us two colas," Chuck requested.
"I'll have a second one of this," Nonna replied as she held up her cup of tea.
"Two vodkas, please," Nudelmann requested.
"Thank you for your orders," the girl thanked as she wrote the orders down in a small pocketbook reminiscent of a logbook. She also had an English accent. "They'll be ready shortly." The two then walked off.
But those at the table looked on at them for a bit longer. It eventually clicked that they looked very familiar.
"Darjeeling?!" Kay exclaimed in surprise.
"Arthur?!" Chuck similarly exclaimed simultaneously.
"Oh, looks like we've been exposed already," Arthur commented as he and Darjeeling hung back at the table upon being discovered. Arthur then briefly performed a secret agent dance. "I've been wanting to practice my Bond skills, but it looks like they need some sharpening up!"
"I've recently been burning with a desire to serve people!" Darjeeling revealed as she struck a maid pose. In response, Arthur lost his mood and shuddered in horror upon remembering how the last time Darjeeling was a maid played out.
"Well that is incredibly splendid, comrades," Nudelmann granted. "But please extinguish your desires for today."
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Later, Darjeeling and Arthur sat down at the table with their cups of tea. They were now in their regular school uniforms.
"So, what kind of tea party are we running today?" Arthur asked to start off.
"We're having an Ooarai countermeasure meeting!" Sasha told them in a way only he could.
"Why?" all four of the Anglo-Americans asked. The British had their tea while the Americans had a coke for each.
"So that we can beat them!" Sasha snapped at them.
"I heard rumors about how in Ooarai, it's a custom that the losing Panzerkraft team has to dance an unladylike dance in public," Nonna elaborated.
"I also heard that the losing Jägermeistern team has to set up the dance in only their underwear, while in plain view of everyone," Nudelmann revealed.
"Jesus fucking Christ!" Chuck reacted in shock. Everyone there grew a mental image of the girls performing the Anglerfish dance in the anglerfish costume and the boys setting up said dance in just their underwear.
"Oh, how scary!" Darjeeling reacted. It was highly ironic considering she was the one who started the rumors.
'But that doesn't sound all that bad…' Sasha and Arthur thought as they both pictured Katyusha and Orange Pekoe respectively performing the Anglerfish dance in the costumes for it.
At that moment, Katyusha chose to wake up from her nap.
"Ah, morning, Katyusha!" Chuck greeted as he winked at the tiny Russian girl.
"You should wipe your face," Darjeeling suggested. In the meantime, two Italians were approaching the table from behind the Anglo-Americans. They were in outfits unique to Il Duce and Il Comandante of Anzio High School.
Katyusha wiped her face of the sleepiness while Arthur commented, "Also, your sleeping face was real cute."
Katyusha and Sasha both grew extremely angry at the remark and threw the nearest object they had at the Anglo-Americans. For Katyusha, this was the small delivery Stuka she had while sleeping. For Sasha, it was one of his empty vodka bottles.
"Missed me!" Chuck remarked as the Anglo-Americans dodged. The objects missed the Anglo-Americans, but they did hit Franco and Anchovy who were behind them smack in the face.
"How dare you insult me!/Katyusha!" Katyusha and Sasha respectively exploded in anger simultaneously. "We'll purge you!"
"That's absurd that we would insult you," Arthur replied as he and the other Anglo-Americans hid behind the table that had gotten overturned during the two blonde Russians' tirades. Franco and Anchovy had both collapsed to the floor in the meantime, but nobody noticed them.
"Don't try and argue!" both blonde Russians sharply retorted. They were still angry at the comment from earlier. The two black-haired Russians simply looked on with blank looks at the scene of their countrymen on yet another of their huge tirades.
Elsewhere in the café, two specific people were secretly watching the scene unfold, as well. They were none other than Ooarai's two commanders in what appeared to be a date for them. However, it was far more than that.
For one, neither of them currently wore clothes that were considered normal for them. Miho was in her summer clothing which included her summer hat that helped obscure her face. Erich had worn his old Schwarzwaldspitze Jägermeistern uniform, considering it was all he had that was different enough to help hide his identity. He chose to wear some sunglasses as well to help with obscuring himself. He also had on a throat mic.
"Messer-Ein hier," Erich spoke into his throat mic as he and Miho inconspicuously looked on at the scene caused by Sasha and Katyusha. "The targets have begun assembling, repeat, the targets have begun assembling."
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In another nearby café, the Leclerc Tank Café, Aprikose heard Erich's report as he held his hand to his ear. He then brought up his phone. "Understood. Continue observing them. Würger-Zwei, aus," he spoke into it.
"So an alliance, huh?" Anzu mused as she relaxed against Aprikose's side at their table.
The two Ooarai Presidents were in a similar situation as Erich and Miho were. That is, they looked like they were on a date, but it was really far more than that.
Both had on clothing that was unconventional for them so as to aid in concealing their identities. Anzu had on a white tank top along with a similar white short skirt. Aprikose had on a black long-sleeve shirt along with black pants. Both also wore ear buds that they could hear Miho and Erich through.
The big picture was that Ooarai was apparently spying on this international meeting of the minds.
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A short bit later, all of those who attended the 'meeting' met up with the rest of their comrades of their respective schools. They had met up in a park.
"It seems we've been kicked out for some reason," Arthur revealed upon meeting up with the others. He and the other Anglo-Americans looked rather oblivious to the fact that it was their fault they got kicked out of the café. Katyusha was on Sasha's shoulders again, and both still looked pissed from the earlier incident. Nudelmann and Nonna just looked on at the Anglo-Americans with impassive looks.
"What did you do this time?" Douglas wondered.
"You'll have to apologize later…" Dennis deadpanned. There were eight other Anglo-Americans there in total besides those who attended the meeting. There was the entire Saint Gloriana crew plus the whole Saunders crew. That was Orange Pekoe, Assam, Dennis, Douglas, Ray, Christian, Alisa, and Naomi. As the current events implied, the main leaders for many of the schools were gathered together for the day.
"Oh, well, it can't be helped," Darjeeling dismissed calmly. "Let's have our meeting another time. For today, let us broaden our friendship."
"Hey Sasha, I'm hungry!" Katyusha said to her steed. "Go get me something."
"Da," Sasha replied, and he kneeled down so Katyusha could get off. He and the other Russians plus the Americans then walked over to a food cart a little ways down the path.
Arthur, though, got an idea. "Oh, let's go, too!" he spoke up to the other British people. "There's a food cart over there!" He then looked over to Orange Pekoe. "Orange Pekoe, could you please wait at that bench over there?"
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So while most everyone else had headed over to the food cart, Katyusha and Orange Pekoe were seated at the bench Arthur had pointed out. Orange Pekoe waited for the others patiently while Katyusha looked bored as she crossed over her legs.
One officer of die Stadtpolizei Zürich that was walking on patrol through the area happened to notice the two girls on the bench, and he chose to walk over and investigate.
"Hey, are you little girls lost?" he asked them as he approached.
"No, we're high schoolers," both Katyusha and Orange Pekoe responded as they looked over to him.
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At the same time, the others of the multinational gathering were walking back to the bench with some food in hand.
"How strange, though," Darjeeling commented. "There wasn't a cart with eel jelly."
"I think I've heard enough of that soul food," Arthur commented in distaste.
"Remind me to never try such a soul food," Sasha spoke up.
Both Arthur and Sasha then spotted Katyusha and Orange Pekoe being questioned by an officer of die Stadtpolizei Zürich, and both boys widened their eyes at the sight.
"Orange Pekoe is being questioned!" Arthur reacted.
"I'll save you, Katyusha!" Sasha declared.
The two of them quickly sprinted up to the group, and the officer noticed them. He turned to them before asking, "Do you two know these two kids?"
"Yes!" both boys responded as they stopped before the officer. "We're their older brothers!" they further affirmed with confident smiles.
"Don't say that!" both Katyusha and Orange Pekoe cried out at them.
"Ah, well please keep a better eye out for your sisters, boys," the officer requested. "The city can be a dangerous place for anyone by themselves, no matter the country." The officer then walked off to resume his patrols.
The two boys then turned to the girls. "Now that that's sorted, we've got food for you," Arthur informed.
"Come on, Katyusha, let's have a seat," Sasha beckoned Katyusha.
"Why must you treat me like this…" Katyusha muttered, but she obeyed and sat down on the bench beside Sasha.
Sasha then pulled out what he had gotten from the food cart. He then poked into one of the hot meatballs with a fork and held it up. "I'll cool it down for you, Katyusha," Sasha informed her with a calmer grin.
"Don't treat me like a child!" Katyusha tried to snap, but she ended up sounding too childish for Sasha to take her seriously. The whole time, Arthur was watching their interactions as if studying them. Behind him was Orange Pekoe who was also eating meatballs.
Sasha then blew on the meatball to cool it down, and Katyusha looked on with an embarrassed look upon seeing Sasha continue with his current idea.
Arthur lit up with enlightenment upon seeing their interactions, and he quickly turned to Orange Pekoe. But the British girl quickly ate her last meatball, for she knew what Arthur was planning if she didn't finish right then.
So Arthur chose to switch gears as he pulled out a cloth. He then used it to wipe up Orange Pekoe's face with a determined smile. Sasha was also wiping Katyusha's face, but the tiny Russian girl tried to resist. The effort was in vain, though.
Assam was watching the scene as well as she ate a corndog. "Now what are you lads up to…" she mused to herself.
She then felt someone wipe their finger across her cheek near her lips, which cleaned up a bit of ketchup left on her face. Assam turned over to the hand in surprise.
"You had some ketchup there," Christian informed as he licked the ketchup off his finger. He had a calm yet confident look.
Assam then grew a blush and an embarrassed smile in response. "Th-Thanks…" she managed to thank despite her embarrassment.
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In the meantime, Sasha was eating some meatballs for himself while beside Katyusha. Kay and Chuck were close by to them eating out of their large popcorn buckets. Sasha noticed and turned over to the Americans.
"So it is true that you guys eat stuff out of buckets," Sasha noted with his confident grin. "That's all fine and good now, but won't you eventually take on a similar drum-like shape later on?"
Kay paused her eating and pulled out her phone. She then showed it to Sasha. "Look, those are my parents," she informed with her typical cheerful mood.
"Good mother of God!" Sasha reacted in surprise at the picture. "They look like those people I see all the time on those fitness commercials!"
Kay then put her phone away. "Saunders is full of some really great products!" she informed. She then pulled up her uniform's white button-up shirt, which revealed a sort-of fat burner wrapped around her stomach. "This is one of them! No matter how much you eat, smart or massive, the portions you ate will be burned steadily!"
Sasha and Katyusha looked on at the device in a stunned state. Nudelmann and Nonna were calmly looking on behind him. 'It's not like you have the choice to simply lower your portions…' the black-haired Russian boy thought. Kay then dropped her shirt.
"But Katyusha, you should know that you need to eat more if you want to catch up to your comrades," Chuck informed from nearby with a bit of a teasing grin.
"I-I know that!" Katyusha snapped at him, but she also looked over to the other nearby Russians unsurely. All of the Russians were now eating out of popcorn buckets, as well.
"I'm still growing, you know!" Katyusha continued as she ate some more. "I'll catch up to them in a snap!"
The tiny Russian girl then heard some munching sounds beside her. She looked over to discover Sasha was also eating out of his own bucket.
In response, Katyusha leaned over to stop him from bringing his hand to his mouth. "Sasha, you're not allowed to eat until I catch up!" she insisted with her childlike demeanor.
"Am I seriously going to have to fast for years?" Sasha deadpanned.
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A little after finishing her bucket, Kay and Douglas ended up being closer to each other for the moment, and Douglas took advantage.
"'Hey, is that your thumb in my soup?'" he began one of his 'jokes.' "'Don't worry, I'll wipe it dry later.'"
Kay burst out into laughter as she wrapped her arms around her torso as if grabbing her sides.
Douglas chose to continue with determination. "'Doctor! My body hurts whenever I press down on something with my finger.' 'Then your finger must be broken.'"
Kay started laughing even harder. "My sides!" she managed to get out amidst her laughter.
Douglas chose to continue on, as he had grown greatly inspired by hearing Kay's highly genuine laughter.
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With Orange Pekoe, she was watching Katyusha ride atop Sasha's shoulders again. This time, the tiny Russian girl was trying to catch a butterfly. Close behind them and looking on with grins were Nonna and Nudelmann.
"They're all really close, aren't they?" Orange Pekoe remarked. She then felt herself rising up off the ground, and she looked down in surprise. "Si-Sir Arthur?!" she cried in surprise.
"We can't lose!" Arthur determinedly stated as he started raising Orange Pekoe so that she rode on his shoulders. "Let us become more intimate!"
Arthur then tried raising himself, but he could not bend back his back to stand up straight. Orange Pekoe leaning forward over his shoulders altered his center of gravity so that it was far more unstable.
Arthur then turned and loudly beckoned, "Douglas! Doug-las!" He partly grunted out his name the second time because of the strain he was under.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," Douglas notified in resignation. He could see what Arthur was up to and could only go along with his idea.
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Soon enough, Orange Pekoe was riding on the shoulders of both Arthur and Douglas. Her left leg was over Arthur's left shoulder and her right leg was over Douglas' right shoulder. Her current position made her start feeling uncomfortable. Contrastingly, Arthur and Douglas both held determined grins as Arthur's idea began coming together.
"And now, let's go!" Arthur declared.
"Yes!" Douglas confirmed.
"One… two…" both of them counted down, and they then started walking off. But they started off in different directions.
"No!" Orange Pekoe loudly cried out as her legs were forced outward. She had put her hands below her skirt and grabbed onto 'that' area as she cried out from the pain of her legs being forced apart.
From further away, all of the Americans were watching both the Russians and the British. Ray then saw Chuck's eyes brighten up in enlightenment. "What's with those eyes that say 'I was waiting for this?'" he muttered in wonder.
Chuck then turned over to Alisa. "So shall we do that as well?" he asked with an eager grin. "There's no need to hold back."
"What's with that?" Alisa asked with a bit of anxiety upon seeing Chuck's state.
"How about this, then?" Christian suggested as he lifted up Alisa bridal style with his confident grin.
"Hey! T-This is completely different!" Alisa barked in response with an embarrassed look.
"Doesn't look too different," Naomi commented with an amused smirk as she watched the scene.
Kay then chose to jump onto Christian's back. "Hey!" she said with a singsong tone.
"Oof!" Christian reacted from the sudden weight increase as he stumbled forward a bit.
Coincidentally, passing near the area again was the same officer of die Stadtpolizei Zürich that had passed by earlier. He was watching the scene of everyone trying to piggyback each other. The Russians were just looking on at the Anglo-Americans trying to copy them. The British were all on the ground after collapsing from a lack of coordination from Arthur and Douglas. Orange Pekoe was currently holding 'that' area of hers again in pain. Christian was managing to stand while supporting the weight of both Alisa and Kay, but it was a rough go for him as he wobbled somewhat.
"They really need some better discipline," the officer commented before he walked off and pretended to have never seen the events that just occurred.
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Elsewhere at the Rafale Fighter Café, Franco and Anchovy were each having a cup of coffee with each other at a table. They were all patched up from the injuries they had suffered earlier from Sasha and Katyusha.
"… What?" they both finally and randomly asked in confusion. Perhaps they had not fully recovered from the blows to their heads.
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Part of Projekt Jägermeistern.
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The author doesn't claim to own "Girls und Panzer" or any other references made. "Girls und Panzer" belongs to Actas. Any references made belong to their respective owners.
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