The Legends Still Live On
Bogen Zehn: Es ist der Mordfall des Ooarai Fw 190 D-12 Dora Bodenpersonal Manager!
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(Aprikose: Behold the horrifying condition Pfirsich is in…)
Pfirsich was lying on the ground in a lifeless way with his eyes open and a great number of easily visible wounds to his head. His thin glasses were also shattered entirely as the frames laid separate elsewhere. His school uniform was ripped and torn in various areas near the top, and he also held a strip of jerky and a jump rope in his hands.
"Aaaaaaaaaaah!" Yuzu screamed in utter fear as she looked at the motionless body of Pfirsich lying face-up on the hangar floor.
(Anzu: Yuzu Koyama's piercing scream echoed throughout the hangars…)
Later on, both Anzu and Aprikose approached the hangar entrance in old-time detective outfits much like what was worn by Sherlock Holmes. Anzu had a button-up coat and skirt in the same style while Aprikose had a button-up coat and pants. Both had the distinctive hats. Instead of pipes, they both had their favored snacks in hand in the same manner. Anzu had a dried sweet potato while Aprikose had a strip of jerky. Both of them held very thoughtful looks as they approached.
"So this moment finally brings itself forth…" Aprikose mused while chewing another strip of jerky as the two of them approached. Beside the hangar doors was a poster displaying Pfirsich and offering a reward for anyone with any information on his state.
(Aprikose: That was the toll of the bell that announced the apocalypse for our everyday lives…)
"Guys!" Erich called out to them both upon spotting them enter the hangars. He and many others were around Pfirsich's body. All of the others were in their usual school outfits excluding the two Presidents in their old detective outfits.
"Herr und fräulein!" Wolf spoke up as he spotted Aprikose and Anzu. "What's happening?!"
"We came rushing here after we heard Yuzu scream-" Erich informed.
"Open your eyes!" Yuzu interrupted as she tried reaching out for Pfirsich. She had tears streaming from her eyes all the while. Momo and Zitrus were able to hold her back, though. "Pfirsich! Pfirsiiiiich!"
"And we found Pfirsich like this!" Miho ended. She was slightly different in her appearance now. Along with her school uniform, she was also wearing the unique Ritterkreuz she had received as a gift from Erich around her neck.
"He's just unconscious, though, thank God…" Erich informed as he felt Pfirsich's neck for a pulse. "He's got a pulse still."
"That's enough with touching him!" Aprikose declared, and Erich and everyone else quickly backed away from the body in response. "Our highest priority now is to preserve the crime scene!" The two Ooarai Presidents were bringing everyone under control as they shooed everyone away from Pfirsich's body.
"This… Is a closed room murder!" Anzu dramatically proclaimed.
"I hate to break it to you…" Erich began with a deadpan. "But he's still alive, and the hangar doors are always open…"
"Closed room…" Nathan comprehended. He then lit up. "Wait! So you mean one of us is the culprit?!"
"No way…" Herz remarked. "How horrible!"
"I swear it wasn't me!" Anton immediately denied.
"Um…" Miho tried as she raised a hand nervously, but she couldn't find a way to rein everyone in from their more hysterical attitudes.
"Take a good look at Pfirsich's corpse," Anzu spoke up as she gestured to Pfirsich's body. "That is a dying message!"
"Pfirsich…" Aprikose began nostalgically as he looked up in remembrance of his professional demeanor. "You were the one who drew the grudges of numerous students, so I thought that a day like today might one day come. But just you wait, Pfirsich… We'll find the culprit and avenge you!"
Each of the cliques that made up the Arts of Warfare programs had different reactions to their Presidents' attitudes. Miho was looking on in awkwardness while Erich stood beside her with a deadpan. All of the other members of Anglerfish Team and Messer-Ein looked a bit unnerved by the possible coming events except for the two that weren't there, Mako and David. Where they were at was unknown.
The history buffs all looked on with determined gazes at what was to come as they prepared for the worst. All of the gamers looked nervous about what was about to begin. Lemu and Sodoko looked on with determined intrigue as the rest of their fellow Public Morals Committee members looked on with looks of obedience. The mechanically proficient groups had no particular reactions except for some determined looks from Hoshino and Brown.
The sports groups were split in their reactions. Akebi, Taeko, Harry, and Alex all had looks that betrayed their fears for the coming events. Noriko and Ron had highly determined expressions as they fully embraced what trials laid ahead. Shinobu and Seth were somewhere in the middle as they held determined looks, but not as great as those of Noriko and Ron. The freshmen all had varying degrees of nervous looks for the events to come.
"We swear as the leaders of Ooarai High School!" both Anzu and Aprikose began in declaration with fingers raised. "That the culprit is among us!"
The two Presidents then pulled out a piece of their favorite foods and held it up close to their mouths like a pipe. "We've already gotten some posters up to get everyone wary of the situation," Anzu informed.
"So our first order of business is to try and put this case into order!" Aprikose announced.
"Um, Mr. and Madam Presidents?" Harry began with a hand raised. "Just out of curiosity, what's a dying message?"
"Well, it's any information that links to the culprit that the victim can give with his last remaining strength," Anzu informed.
Aprikose walked over to Pfirsich. "It's the same case with Pfirsich," he noted as he started observing his body. "He also left a message for us. Look there, he's got something in his hands. In one is… a strip of jerky…" He then stood up and raised his hand to his chin. "Hmm…" he entered thought.
At the same time, everyone else besides Anzu was staring at Aprikose with implications that he was the culprit based on his love for jerky. Anzu noticed and grew an awkward look. She then chose to save everyone the trouble as she stuck a tag on Aprikose's head that said Culprit #1.
"So the first to discover him was Yuzu, right?" Anzu asked as she continued the investigation.
"Y-Yes!" Yuzu answered as she dried her tears. She then divulged the details. "Pfirsich went over to the hangars to pick up some documents, but he was taking too long to come back. I got curious and chose to try and find him."
"In such events like these, it's often the case that the first to discover the victim is in actuality the culprit," Wolf opined as he grew a smirk.
"No way!" Yuzu loudly retorted in denial. "You're saying I did it?!"
"Um…" they all heard the ever-quiet Neville speak up as he raised his hand. "I did happen to see… that Yuzu and Pfirsich were having a dispute of sorts…"
"A dispute?" Leonidas wondered. "Please give details, Neville!"
"It's about something that happened yesterday…" Neville began as he shared his vision.
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"Jeez! That's so mean of you, Pfirsich!" Yuzu complained to Pfirsich as he read off a clipboard.
"Yeesh, get over it already," Pfirsich dismissed. "And it's a truth statement, you know."
"Oh, you're such a big meanie, Pfirsich!" Yuzu continued her complaining as she got up in his face.
"Hey!" Pfirsich retorted sharply as he tried to push her back away. "Stop it!"
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"I can't believe that such a tragic event would…" Neville trailed off as he started shaking in fear. "And such violent behavior to make things worse…"
"Well, you know, that was just those two flirting," Aprikose revealed with a blank look. "Just pay it no mind…"
"But now back to the basics of this investigation!" Anzu continued to get back on track. "First, we want to hear everyone's alibis on a per-clique basis. So what were the sports folks up to?"
"We were taking a break out back while our hearts were always badminton and volleyball and nothing less!" Ron answered as he held his racquet up. Noriko held up her volleyball as well.
"In other words, we all had some light practice," Seth translated as he raised his hand.
Anton, however, noticed a bruise on Taeko's right wrist. He then lit up as he thought of a possible explanation.
"Hey, I think I figured this one out!" he announced.
"Anton?!" Hana wondered in surprise upon suddenly hearing him speak up loudly.
"Look at that bruise on Taeko's wrist!" Anton pointed out.
"Eh?" Taeko replied in a bit of alarm as she grabbed her wrist with her other hand. "That's just from when I got hurt during practice earlier…"
"It's from that jump rope that Pfirsich had in hand!" Anton claimed as he held up the rope in question.
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In Anton's version of the events, it was Pfirsich using the rope to hold Taeko close to him. The rope was wrapped around her right wrist.
"I won't let you run away anymore, mei Taeko…" he whispered into her ear as he held a charming grin.
"No, you mustn't…" Taeko tried to deny with a blush on her face, but she didn't sound convincing. "Pfirsich, you already have Yuzu!"
"You dirty womanizer!" both of them heard, and they turned to the voice in alarm. They found Yuzu looking around the corner with a very dark look.
"No, you're wrong, Yuzu!" Pfirsich tried to deny. "This isn't what it looks like!"
But he could not stop Yuzu from approaching with a look of insanity in her eyes as she brandished a pair of bowie knives.
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"It was a volatile love triangle!" Anton claimed with the utmost confidence.
"He was killed out of blind love!" Saori continued in a girlish manner that completely destroyed any concrete for Anton's claim. The blonde American grew a deadpan as he heard her. "It was all because of unrequited love! Therefore it was love! Haa…!"
"Could you please not exaggerate the event?" Aprikose requested with a blank look. "There wasn't any stabbing involved."
"Anyway, moving on, let's hear the history buffs' alibis," Anzu continued the investigation.
"We, too, just happened to be on a break," Wolf informed with confidence as he shifted his peaked cap.
"There's nothing for us to feel guilty about," Leonidas claimed.
"I contest that claim!" Lemu spoke up as he looked over to the history buffs. "I think that you all are to be considered prime suspects!"
"Oh, really now?" Erwin turned to him with her typical smirk.
"Yes," Sodoko confirmed as both the history buffs and Public Morals Committee faced each other in full. "Mr. Nikolaus kept a watchful eye on your behavior just like we do as the Public Morals Committee!"
"As for you," Lemu continued as he pointed at the history buffs. "He was your only natural enemy! So you had plenty of motive!"
"That's an interesting deduction you made there, Public Morals Committee," Wolf spoke up with a smirk that had a threatening touch to it. "Now I wonder if we should eliminate our other natural enemies, as well?"
Herz was looking on at the scene before he lit up. "Oh! I think I may have figured it out!" he spoke up.
"Herz, are you for real?!" Anton asked in response.
"The culprit was both the history buffs and the Public Morals Committee!" Herz claimed anyway. He then detailed what he thought was true.
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"It all started from the fierce power struggle between the Public Morals Committee and the history buffs!"
In the past, Pfirsich was looking on at the eight history buffs fighting off the hordes of Public Morals Committee members under Lemu's and Sodoko's command using the weapons they had bought originally because of their love for history. For the guys, Wolf had himself a Maschinengewehr 42, Leonidas had on some of the heavy Spartan armor plus a long lance, Abe had set up a Gatling gun, and Gustav had a Carolean sword as all of the history buffs held the committee members at bay while far outnumbered.
"Pfirsich was unable to turn his back on such a bloody feud!"
"Hey, you all!" he barked out as he drew a jump rope and a strip of jerky to use as weapons. "If you absolutely must fight, then do it after you take me down!"
"With the weapons he found in the area and his resolution to face them…"
In response, everyone there halted their fight to all beat down Pfirsich, and Pfirsich could do nothing but accept it as he continued getting beaten by the massive numbers of people.
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"He was unable to stop them!" Herz ended his claim.
"But I don't see any traces of him getting done in by such a large number of people," Aprikose provided contradictory evidence with a blank look. "Also, there's no way he has the courage for that."
"Besides, if we were to subjugate Pfirsich…" Wolf began as he explained what each of the history guys would prefer to do.
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For Abe, he took a Deringer and shot Pfirsich in the back of the head while he was unaware. "Freedom!" he then proclaimed as Pfirsich immediately dropped unconscious.
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For Gustav, he had taken his Carolean sword and ended Pfirsich's life with it as he left him to bleed out on the ground. "Libera et impera," he said as he sheathed his sword. "Once more, to the shore, to war."
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For Wolf, he was in the air in a Messerschmitt Bf 109 G-6 and shot down a distracted and unaware Pfirsich who was flying a North American P-51B. "Another one down," Wolf noted as he saw the Mustang burn while falling from the sky. "That's kill number 162…"
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For Leonidas, he was in the heavy Spartan armor with a long lance while Pfirsich approached in lighter armor and lesser-ranged weapons distinctly Persian and from the early 400 BCs. Leonidas simply took his long lance and aimed it at the approaching Pfirsich. Pfirsich could not reach Leonidas with his lesser-ranged weapons and suffered a stab from the point of the extended lance.
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"This intention to slay is in magnificent fairness!" Saemonza proclaimed for all of the history buffs.
"Hurra!" all of them then shouted out together.
"Well, we have laws nowadays, so please be mindful of your actions," Aprikose informed with a blank look.
"But anyway," Wolf continued on as he turned over to the gamers. "Regarding the gamers, didn't you all often get scolded by Pfirsich about your appearances? That sounds like a motive!"
"That's pretty accurate…" Neville quietly confirmed as yet another possible series of events exposed itself.
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"How often do I have to say it before it's drilled into your heads?!" Pfirsich barked out at the gamers kneeled before him in the new series of events. "Why do you all never take your appearances seriously?! Are you just all happy-go-lucky all year round?!"
Suddenly and without warning, all of the gamers launched themselves at Pfirsich with intent to attack. Pfirsich grew a bit alarmed at the sight. But none of the gamers had dealt any threatening blows to him because of how weak they were, and Pfirsich eventually grew confusion at the events.
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"But with us, a critical hit would be impossible no matter how much we could attack," Nevi ended.
"You all should do some training," Aprikose suggested with a blank look. "So you can stay alive."
Soon, Herz started sniffing the air around. "Oh? What's this?" he wondered.
"What's up, Herz?" both Anton and Saori asked him.
"I can smell the scent of an animal from Pfirsich…" he spoke as he approached Pfirsich's body. He started to sniff it more closely. "The smell reminds me of a cat."
"Oh, I forgot about that!" Anton realized with a start. "Your extremely sensitive senses!"
All of the freshmen suddenly rushed up in a desperate attempt to cover up Herz's nose. "Huh?" Herz wondered as his nose was suddenly pinched shut.
"Th-Th-Th-That's my scent!" Karina stuttered her claim that was meant to be sure, but it no longer sounded as such.
"What?" Herz wondered in confusion as he raised an eyebrow. In response, Karina moved to jump onto him and cover up his whole face with her body. "But your scent smells great as usual, Karina," Herz spoke up with his face covered up.
"That's not true!" Karina denied in desperation. "I've smelled like a cat since forever!"
Azusa and Matthias soon noticed many of the others start gathering together before them, and the freshmen all froze upon seeing them amass. The only ones unaffected were Saki and Bastian who continued staring off like they usually did.
"So you finally showed your tails, freshmen!" Wolf determined with a confident smirk as he traced the front of his peaked cap with his hand.
"What are you all trying to hide?!" Alex demanded with an intimidating factor to his appearance.
"W-We…" Azusa stuttered out and trailed off as she froze up.
"Nothing…" Matthias unconvincingly answered as he also froze. "We haven't done anything wrong…"
Soon, though, the freshmen all gave up, and four out of the six girls started to cry in defeat. Azusa just hung her head in defeat along with all but one of the guys. Saki and Bastian were the exceptions as they continued staring off into who knows what. Anton and Saori both grew some panic upon seeing the freshmen in their current state and moved to help them.
In the meanwhile, Anzu and Aprikose were watching. "Hmm…" they thought as they looked on while they started growing grins. They could feel they were getting close to cracking this case.
Finally, they lit up. "We know who the culprit of this incident is!" they proclaimed with a finger raised. Each of their hands also had other objects in them. For Anzu, she had a bag of dried sweet potatoes in one hand and another single dried sweet potato in the other. Aprikose was the same way, except with jerky and a bag of jerky.
"Are you serious right now?!" Wolf replied to them as everyone turned to the two Ooarai Presidents.
"P-Please believe us, we really haven't done any wrong!" Matthias tried to tell everyone, but he wasn't very convincing with all of the defeated freshmen around him.
"Yeah!" both Anton and Saori agreed as they jumped to the freshmen's defense.
"Even though the freshmen definitely seem suspicious, there's no possible motive for them, not to mention they don't even have the means to carry any plan out!" Anton claimed.
"Yeah!" Saori quickly agreed. "I think it's bad to just label them!"
"Anton, Saori!" all of the freshmen said while wearing extremely grateful looks seeing the two stand up for them.
"I know that the freshmen are hiding something, but they are not the culprits," Aprikose determined. He and Anzu were both staring off at a particular direction with their confident grins. "The actual culprit is…" Aprikose began as he raised a finger to point the culprit out. Everyone cleared out of the finger's way to find it pointing over to an approaching David and Mako further back.
"What's with all the noise?" David sleepily asked. He also had a wildcat beside him for some reason. It also appeared to be quite tame for some reason.
"David?!" Anton exclaimed in shock.
"Is it too much to ask for a proper rest during break?" Mako asked in a similar sleepy manner.
"How could you do that to Pfirsich, David?!" Anton asked as he rushed forth to David.
"What are you even talking about?" David replied with a deadpan.
"No, no," Anzu denied with an awkward smile. "But freshmen. That's right, is it not?" she asked all of the freshmen that were looking somewhat resigned to the events. "The culprit is this cat!" Anzu declared as she pointed to the wildcat by David's side.
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!" everyone reacted in shock.
"A cat did that to Pfirsich?" Miho wondered aloud as she imagined the wildcat hitting Pfirsich with a knockout punch. She specifically pictured them wearing boxing gloves during said event.
"Well, it is a wildcat," Erich granted. "They're called wild-cats for a reason."
"Speaking of that, what's with the wildcat anyhow?" Anton asked David.
"It approached me while I was asleep," David informed.
"Aeronautics and Automotive Clubs, if you would!" Aprikose cued with his confident grin.
"Understood!" Yeager replied affirmative as the two mechanically proficient groups presented some evidence they had found. They put forth a water bowl that still had water in it, a nearly finished bowl of cat food, and a box of cat food. "We went searching for evidence upon getting word of the incident from the Presidents, and we found these!"
Azusa then sighed in defeat. "There's no point trying to hide it anymore…" she admitted.
All of the other freshmen there besides Matthias, Bastian, and Saki were trying to get her to stay quiet, but Azusa was one of the de facto leaders of the clique for a reason. Matthias stood beside her with the same look of resignation while Bastian and Saki looked off into space like always. Azusa then grew a determined look.
"The truth is…" Azusa began as she and Matthias both chose to reveal what really happened.
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"How cute!" Yuuki remarked upon seeing the wildcat earlier in the hangars. The wildcat was eating the cat food out of the bowl. It was relatively tame in its behavior for the moment, which suggested the freshmen had plenty of experience with such animals.
"It's eating the food!" Karina observed.
All of the freshmen were in an area of the hangars that was full of crates. The crates were so great in numbers and stacked such that they ended up creating a small room of sorts along with a small labyrinth to get to the room. Half of the freshmen were kneeled close to the wildcat. Bastian and Saki were staring off into who knows what again while Azusa, Matthias, Ayumi, and Mesut looked on at those kneeled close to the wildcat.
"I wonder if it'll eat a strip of jerky?" Christoph wondered as he tried offering a jerky strip to the wildcat.
"There's no way it'll eat that!" Erik predicted as he watched the wildcat.
"This really isn't any good…" Azusa determined. "Trying to keep a pet like this, and at school no less..."
"But none of our dorms allow the keeping of pets," Matthias spoke up.
"If we get found out by one of the upperclassmen, we'll get scolded for sure," Azusa predicted. She then caught something out of the corner of her eye, and she looked back for a better look. "Ah!" she quietly reacted. "It's Pfirsich!"
Indeed, she could see Pfirsich making his way through the stacked crates unsuspectingly while all of the freshmen started panicking upon finding out he was approaching.
"Oh, the worst possible one that could find out is coming!" Matthias panicked. He quickly got it together though and started issuing orders. "Quick! Hide the wildcat and the other things!"
And so all of the freshmen hastily hid away everything that looked irresponsible, which included the wildcat and the cat food.
"Oh, it's you all," Pfirsich said upon arriving at the area and seeing all of the freshmen standing there. Said freshmen were sweating with nervous smiles. "Why are you all buzzing around over here?"
"Um…" Azusa nervously said as she tried thinking up a reason.
Matthias, however, beat her to it. "W-We were just holding an impromptu strategy meeting!" he said with a similar nervous demeanor.
"Oh, I see," Pfirsich observed as he started looking around. "That's real praiseworthy of you all." He then noticed a bowl of cat food lying around. "Huh? What's that? Are those some new kind of sweets?" He paused a bit before he continued. "Let me have a little."
'No! Those aren't sweets!' all of the freshmen thought in terror as they tried silently willing Pfirsich to stop. But it was to no avail as Pfirsich reached to the food bowl.
But the wildcat, hiding between some crates, saw his hand start approaching the bowl. The wildcat had deduced that this human was trying to take away the food they had already laid claim to, and so it literally jumped into action as it jumped up to Pfirsich's face.
Pfirsich had only just briefly caught sight of the airborne wildcat and grew alarmed, but he had no time to react any other way as the wildcat immediately landed on his face. The feline then started using its claws to scratch up his head and beat him.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Pfirsich cried out as he flung his arms about to try and get the wildcat off of him. As he did, he had taken hold of a jerky strip and jump rope that both just happened to by lying around. He continued trying to get the larger feline off of him as he continued flailing his arms.
Finally, the wildcat had enough and jumped off of him to make an escape to the tops of the crates, but not without giving a final parting kick to Pfirsich's face as it used his face to boost itself. The kick was easily hard enough so it knocked Pfirsich out.
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"A-And that's what happened…" Matthias ended the recounting of events. All of the freshmen had looks of nervousness mixed with defeat except for Bastian and Saki, who both stared off again into who knows what.
"One may well say that the wildcat had caused the physical harm, but the troubles of the investigation is because we kept quiet…" Azusa informed with a defeated look.
"That is true…" Aprikose relented as he and Anzu heard them out. They both had awkward looks upon hearing the true events.
Meanwhile, Yuzu had spotted Pfirsich sit up and start rubbing his head. "Pfirsich!" she spoke up in alertness. "Are you awake now?"
"What just happened…?" Pfirsich wondered in a bit of a daze. He was looking better than before, though he still had his uniform scratches along with some scratches on his face still. He then widened his eyes slightly upon seeing what was directly ahead of him.
It was the wildcat just standing there ahead on its four feet looking at Pfirsich. The larger feline then started growling a bit.
"Aaaaaaaaaah!" Pfirsich cried out in terror. His yell was loud enough to be heard clearly even from outside the hangars.
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And that's a case of Cat Shoot Pfirsich!
Part of Projekt Jägermeistern.
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The author doesn't claim to own "Girls und Panzer" or any other references made. "Girls und Panzer" belongs to Actas. Any references made belong to their respective owners.
Feel free to ask any questions if you have them. Please note, however, that questions asked without being signed in will not be answered. The author would prefer to address questions outside of the story, and leaving questions while signed in provides that ability.