*blows noisemaker* Happy twentieth-chapter special! *puts cake on the table with the computer* Enjoy!

So, originally, this was going to be a time-travel chapter to celebrate reaching number twenty, but then I realized some difficulties I'd have in doing that. Sorry, but I decided to just have this chapter take place entirely in the future. I'm not sure about driving laws in Colorado, so I just put it as the same as where I'm from—you can get a permit at fifteen, and after you've had that for six months, you can get a restricted license. After you have the restricted license for six months, you can take another test to get your full license. This is the logic the story operates on and you can all deal with it.

DON'T WORRY. THEY'RE GOING BACK TO FOURTH GRADE AFTER THIS CHAPTER.

High school.

For many, the mere mention of the place sends shivers down their spines, remembering a time where the entire world seemed against you, where social standing had nothing to do with your merits as a person. For others (mainly those who haven't been through high school yet), it's a fantastical place where everybody gets along and only a few people are actually mean.

However, there's no denying that high school is an important place in everyone's lives.

Hence why Park County Schools had made the genius decision to only have one high school in the entire district. Kids from the four areas of Park County (North Park, East Park, West Park, and South Park) eventually went to this massive school, and they all hated it for several reasons. South Park and West Park had substantially less money than the 'old money' East Park and 'new money' North Park. West Park was the ghetto of Park County, with South Park representing the 'normal' sector. Naturally, throwing these kids from all these different backgrounds onto one campus provided lots of friction.

Yes, friction, and some of it wasn't bad. Some of it was romantic, but most of it was from people not being able to get along.

Of course, friction could also mean rubber tires against the pavement…

SCREEEECH!

Kate held onto her seat for dear life as Cartman wove through the traffic on the way to school. Kimmy was in the backseat, where she'd taken every seatbelt possible to strap herself to the center seat for fear of being in a crash.

"SLOW DOWN!" Kate yelled at her brother. He slammed on the brakes, and she almost hit her head on the dashboard. She shot him a glare.

"Get your license and I won't drive you!" he shot back.

"I'm working on it!"

"Goddammit…" He sighed as he slowly pressed on the gas.

"Why can't I ride the bus, again?"

"Because you sit next to a possible rapist on the bus."

"… I sit next to Kenny."

"Exactly. Possible rapist."

"Not every guy is a rapist!"

Yes, Katherine and Eric Cartman were still arguing as only siblings can, but things had changed since elementary school. For one thing, puberty had hit both of them, and been extremely kind. Kate was widely considered the most attractive girl in their class while Cartman hadn't exactly lost weight, but now the weight was mostly in muscle.

Now, you're probably wondering what's up with the rapist allegations from Cartman. Well, after the 'Puberty Troll' decided to hit Kate the summer before eighth grade, he essentially became a stereotypical older brother—overprotective as fuck. Despite the fact that she could still quite easily kick his ass, he wanted to prove that she still needed backup, and that he was her backup. If anybody messed with Kate, they had him to answer to—and he had no problem kicking the shit out of guys who tried to pull stuff with her. Unfortunately, he saw most guys that showed interest in her as bad people who didn't deserve to be near his little sister.

Cartman parked the car in the student lot. Kimmy unbuckled all her seatbelts and got out of the car, quickly clinging to Kate out of fear.

"I really hate being in a human high school," she groaned. "Why did my brother send me here?"

"Because you fucked up and killed a demon?" Kate joked.

"It wasn't a real demon. It was the Bubblegum-Pink Bitch-Princess, Kelly."

"It's a punishment."

"Hmmph."

Almost as soon as they headed towards the school, the bus from their neighborhood showed up, their friends getting off it. Kyle, Kenny, and Stan headed towards the Cartman siblings, all looking much older. Stan, especially, seemed to have gotten more muscular over time, while Kyle and Kenny had gotten taller. Kenny had long since ditched his trademark orange parka and replaced it with an orange hoodie. He'd claimed the parka was cursed and everyone laughed.

"I see you're not dead yet," Kyle joked to Kate.

"Nope," she replied. "I might be, though, if Cartman doesn't get his shit together."

"Hey, I got you both here in one piece, didn't I?" Cartman asked.

"Barely."

"Bitch."

"If I'm such a bitch, then I'll just catch the bus and sit with Kenny again." She crossed her arms and Cartman backed off.

"Fine. I'm sorry."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "I'm just in a bad mood. Josh hacked through the block on my phone again."

"Haven't you blocked him eight times already?" Kyle inquired, looking concerned. "If you need us to send him a message, we can."

"No, I can handle it. He's just been asking me out through corny pickup lines, thinly-veiled innuendoes, and other shit like that."

"Well, we're getting a higher-quality filter on your phone," Kenny told her sternly. "He shouldn't be able to hack it like that."

"He's an asshole," Stan agreed. "Even at football practice, he's always talking about how he's going to be the one to break you of the 'not ready to date' thing."

"Who's Josh?" Cartman asked, looking angry.

"He's just some asshole who thinks he's God's gift to mankind, and that he can have any girl he wants. I'm handling it the best I can."

"What about your gun?" Kenny suggested

"I haven't even touched that thing since fifth grade," Kate snorted. "I don't exactly need to carry it around all the time anymore."

"I'd lay off a lot more if you did," Cartman tried.

"Plus, they'd probably search my bag on a day when I had it and I'd get busted." She shook her head. "We'd better get to class. No skipping today, okay?"

Some things never changed, and the fact that the boys were scared of Kate certainly hadn't. However, she'd taken the position of 'mother hen', making sure they kept safe (especially Kenny, despite the fact that he'd only died once since they'd entered high school six months prior).

Speaking of moms, that was another change for Kate and Cartman. Liane had gotten married while they were in sixth grade, and her husband had taken the last name Cartman rather than make her or her kids change theirs. Who was this man who had enough patience to deal with Eric Cartman, and overlooked Kate's past without a second thought? Why, it was Peter Meyercheck, Kate's dear Uncle Pete! He was now her stepfather as well as her uncle. But that's another story.

Right now, onto high school.

"Kate!"

Kate looked over the desks to see Quinn in her normal seat. The blonde was smiling brightly, and she was happier than usual.

"Hey, Q!" Kate greeted the former beauty queen. "Did something good happen?"

"You could say that," Quinn giggled. "I have a girlfriend!"

"Congrats!"

Quinn had accidentally come out of the closet in middle school, when she was stressed out from her female 'friends' teasing her about not having a boyfriend. She'd screamed, "Because I prefer girls!" and that had been that. Just like she'd feared, her parents disowned her, but she ended up living with her aunt in the far-less-homophobic North Park. Because of this, she'd decided to accept the fact that she batted for the same team and been teased mercilessly until Kate stepped in at the beginning of the year.

"Is she anybody I know?" Kate asked.

"Maybe. Her name is Bebe Stevens." Kate gasped and squealed.

"Q! That's amazing! I hope you don't mind her shopping addiction!"

"That's how we met, actually. We've been seeing each other for a while now, and it just became official last night."

"Well, I hope you're happy together."

"And what about you, Kenny, and Kyle?"

"What about us?"

"Any word on that little three-way?"

"I told you, it's not like that."

"C'mon. Kenny's a pervert, and Kyle's got anger issues. Neither of them are perfect, but you can't seem to choose."

"Ugh…" Kate banged her head on the desk.

"I'm just teasing, Katie Cat. I know you're still not ready for a regular relationship, much less a three-way."

"Jokes are supposed to be funny."

"Is Cartman a joke?"

"Why?"

"Because he's funny-looking."

Kate snorted out a laugh and covered her mouth as she snickered.

"Sorry. He just almost killed me while he was driving this morning, and Josh hacked my messages again."

"Lemme guess—another dick pic?"

"And a video of him… you know…" She sighed and shook her head. "He doesn't want to take no for an answer, and he seems to think I'll just sleep with him on the first date once he wears me down."

"Have you told your brother about it? He'd gladly beat the shit out of him."

"I want to deal with this on my own. I haven't even told Kenny and Kyle everything because I know they'll either tell Cartman and Stan and I don't want to deal with that fallout, or they'll try to beat the shit out of Josh themselves and I don't want them to get expelled or arrested for fighting."

"Aw… do you want me to do something?"

"No."

"Then why the fuck are you telling me?"

"Because you know how to keep your damn mouth shut, and I don't need this getting out."

"But the dick pics and video are sexual harassment! You could show them to the counselor and get his ass suspended."

"I'd rather turn him from a rooster to a hen, but I don't have my gun."

"Whatever. He hasn't done anything to physically harass you, has he?"

"No, not yet. I'm sure it's just a matter of time until he does."

At lunch, Kate was sitting alone. None of her friends, male or female, had the same lunch she did, so she always sat alone. As usual, she had her nose in a book as she ate her lunch. Unlike usual, however, Josh chose to approach her.

"S'up, Kate?" he asked flirtatiously. She ignored him and ate a potato chip. "Oh, quiet, huh? Must be tough to be so sexy and not talk. You don't even answer my messages…" Again, silence. "C'mon, babe. I know you have a voice, or did you wear it out screaming my name as you watched my little video?" Kate closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she snapped her book shut and stood up.

"I'm leaving," she stated. "I'm not going to date you."

"I don't want you to be my girlfriend!" he snapped, grabbing her wrist and yanking her across the table. "I want to fuck you."

"And I said that's not going to happen! Let go of me!"

"Not until you agree to meet me after school in the parking lot." He started to bend her arm, and she found herself unable to fight back. "Oh, and just for good measure, if you say no again, I'll bust your fucking arm, whore."

"Okay!" she yelped in pain. "I'll do it." She nodded and he released her.

"See you, babe. Looking forward to breaking you in."

Kate clenched her fist and ran for the safety of the library. Once she was in one of the study rooms, she whipped out her phone and sent a group message to Kenny, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Quinn.

Kate: Meet me in the library during 5th period.

Kenny: What happened?

Kyle: What's wrong?

Kate: I just need to talk to you all.

Cartman: We'll be there, even if I have to knock out the teacher to do it.

Stan: Don't assault teachers, fatass; you'll get arrested again.

Cartman: DON'T CALL ME FAT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

Quinn: I'm already in there today. Room 5?

Kate: Yeah, room 5.

True to their word, everyone showed up during 5th period. Kate was still a little shaken-up from her encounter with Josh, and Quinn gave her a hug.

"What happened?" Kenny asked, repeating his question from the group message.

"Josh happened, I bet," Quinn sighed. "Bebe told me what he did, and right in the middle of the cafeteria, too!"

"What did that bastard do?" Kyle snarled.

"He grabbed my wrist and threatened to bust my arm if I didn't meet him in the parking lot after school."

"Where is he?!" Cartman yelled. "I'll bust his arm for that!"

"Are you going to tell us the rest?" Quinn inquired.

"…no. I can't. Can you?"

"Yeah." Quinn turned to face the others. "Apparently, Josh has been sexually harassing her through messaging for weeks. It was just dick pics, but then he sent her a video of him… you know…"

"Sicko!" Stan spat angrily.

"It's an East Park guy thing. They still adhere to practically medieval moral standards, and Josh thinks every girl has to say yes."

"I'll murder him myself!" Kenny declared.

"No, I have an idea," Kate assured them. "But unfortunately, I need my gun." She looked at Cartman. "I'll meet him in the parking lot, but I'll tell him to meet me at our house. Is the hole still in the basement?"

"Ha, ha, what hole?!" Cartman laughed nervously.

"You know what hole. We're dropping Josh down it."

"I like this plan," laughed Kenny.

"Let's do it."

Cartman, Quinn, and Kimmy hopped in the car after school while Kate went over to Josh, who was waiting by his car. He had a perverted grin as he looked her up and down.

"Can we do this somewhere else?" Kate asked. "I need to get home."

"Sure. How about your house, then?"

"That sounds great." She took out a piece of paper and wrote down her address. "Here. This is where I live. Come by in about an hour."

"You got it, baby." He smirked as she turned around to get into Cartman's car before he grabbed her ass. She let out a yelp and glared. She shook her head and ran for the 'safety' (I mean, it's still Cartman behind the wheel) of her brother's car.

"Did he fall for it?" Quinn asked.

"Yep," Kate replied. "I gave him our address. Are Mom and Dad home?"

"Nah, they took off on a business trip earlier," Cartman informed her.

"Good. We don't need witnesses, though given your criminal record and lack of arrests, I wouldn't be surprised if we got off scot-free."

"Why do you need your gun?" Kimmy inquired.

"I'm loading it with Dad's blanks. I want to scare him, not scar him. This is a warning to him and any other assholes who want to try this shit that South Park girls are not to be messed with."

"Shit, remind me not to piss you off."

"Noted."

Josh double-checked the address on the paper as he pulled up to the green house. The lights were on, so he got out and went to the door. After he rang the doorbell, it was opened by Kate, who gave him a warm smile. He followed her inside and realized that her family was middle-class. It was to be expected—after all, she lived in the Redneck Capital of Park County. Most families in the area were middle-class.

"Shall we take this upstairs?" Josh asked with a suggestive smirk.

"I was thinking we'd go down." Suddenly the lights flashed off and Josh felt a cloth over his mouth.

"Go to sleep, semen-puking-asshole dickhead," he heard Eric Cartman's voice say as he blacked out.

When Josh came to, he was in a hole that had been dug in the ground. He looked up and realized it was somebody's basement he was trapped in. Frantically, he went for his phone and found it missing.

Okay, Josh. Calm down. Your phone is missing. You're stuck in a hole. The girl whose pants you've been trying to get into for months has a sociopathic brother who knocked you out. Wait, why should I be calm about this shit?!

"Oh, good, he's awake!" he heard Quinn Hart say. He looked up to see the girl he'd tortured in middle school grinning like a victorious hunter.

Oh, fuck, that dyke? Queer Quinn?

"Can I burn him?" Kimmy Morningstar inquired.

The demonic bitch, too?

"Let's wait for Kate to finish up," Kyle Broflovski chuckled.

And the Jew-fag…?

"I get first shot at him," Kenny McCormick snarled.

Ugh, welfare kid.

"After Kate," Stan Marsh corrected.

Dude, you're my teammate! You're supposed to back me up!

"Is he awake?" came Kate's voice from somewhere away from the top of the hole.

"He's up, Katie Cat!" Quinn called.

"Good." He heard footsteps—two sets, one light, one heavy. Before long, Kate's face came over the top of the hole. "Hello, Jackass Josh."

"God, I didn't know you were into that kind of shit!" he laughed.

"What kind of shit?"

"Orgies. BDSM."

"Oh, no, that's not what this is, Josh."

"Then what is it?"

"This is why you don't mess with girls from South Park." She pulled something out of her pocket.

A gun.

"HOLY SHIT! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME?!"

"Yep. This is the only way to make sure you don't mess with me or anybody else ever again."

"Th-think this through! You'll get arrested!"

"No, I won't." She smirked sadistically. "Goodbye, Josh."

He ducked his head and whimpered as Kate cocked the gun.

BANG!

No pain.

He looked around and didn't see any bullet-holes.

Wait, she fired the gun, right?!

"I'm not a murderer," she sighed. "They're blanks, dumbass."

"So you aren't going to kill me?!"

"No, but if I hear about you harassing girls like you did to me again, I might change my mind."

"All this was to teach me a lesson…"

"Yeah. You're lucky I told these guys to lay off. You would've been beaten to death otherwise."

"Can I please set him on fire?!" Kimmy begged.

"No, but each of you can get in one hit."

The next day, Josh showed up to school with several bruises all over his body. He avoided Kate like the plague, which confused his friends. When one of them asked what had happened the day before, Josh just dodged the question.

"Don't fuck with the Cartman family," he told the guy. "Just don't, especially not with Kate."

Kate silently fist-bumped Quinn.

Okay, so that's the high-school chapter…

I'm sorry this took so fucking long, but I got writer's block and ended up rewriting the second half of this chapter.

So, yeah, several things have changed since they were in fourth grade. Kate and Quinn now get along great; in fact, Quinn is Kate's human female best friend (hence the nicknames). Yes, Kimmy goes to high school. She got in trouble for murdering a fellow demon, so her brother sentenced her to four years of human high school without her powers. Pete being Cartman and Kate's stepdad is something I've wanted to include for a while now, and it's finally here! Yay! Okay, that's it.

By the way, the Kenny-or-Kyle poll ends on February 1st, so make sure to vote by then! Next chapter will either be based off "Marjorine" or Stick of Truth.

So long and thanks for all the fish!