The Kenny-Kyle poll is now closed. However, you are going to be able to vote until February 13 in the comments. I needed an establishment chapter before I get into the meat of Valentine's Day. Yes, this means "Marjorine" is getting pushed back. Deal with it.

For this chapter, we're returning to the Park High I established in chapter 20, complete with East Park assholes and Quinn dating Bebe. We'll also be meeting Kimmy's family, so this is a Kimmy-centric chapter. Warning: shitstorm approaching. IT'S A YOUTUBE COMMENTS SECTION.

I've said enough for now.

OWTF!

Kimberly Teal Morningstar was known as many things.

A demon.

The Princess of Hell.

Satan's baby sister.

A ginger.

Kate's best friend.

Some of those weren't entirely accurate. Kimmy wasn't just a demon or the Princess of Hell—she was Princess of the fucking entire Underworld. The only daughter of Hades and Persephone. The goddess of hellfire, eternal damnation, and glitter. Her brother, Lucifer Satan Morningstar, was the god of punishment and Tartarus. What the mortals called Hell was just Tartarus, one area of the afterlife after they were judged by the council.

Needless to say, neither of them had an easy childhood. Satan (as he preferred to be called) had been born around the time that Christianity had become a thing and took over Tartarus, renaming it Hell. Kimmy, on the other hand, was born during the beginning of the Dark Ages and started the whole 'dragons-will-burn-down-your-village' fear. What made it more difficult was the fact that Persephone was only with them for six months of the year, leaving Hades to deal with a sexually-confused teenage god and a destructive, pyromaniac toddler goddess.

However, during the six months of the year Persephone was with them, they were a pretty happy family.

When Kimmy got a handle on her godly powers, she began exploring the surface, something her brother wasn't really allowed to do for extended periods of time. Over time, she met a lot of people (and burned a lot of shit). She met her best friend when Kate almost died, and never wanted to leave her 'Squishie', as she called Kate.

When Kate was fourteen, Kimmy did something that she got in major trouble for—she killed a demon of Tartarus. Hades was livid with his daughter, who had never killed unprovoked before. He sentenced her to four years living as a human, only able to use her powers in dire situations.

Hence why she was going to Park High and living with the Cartmans.

Now, since Kimmy was the daughter of Hades and Persephone, that meant that the famous Greek gods were all members of her extended family. This included the likes of Athena, Hera, Ares, and Eros. Eros wasn't at all how most people pictured him. Most assumed that, because he was the god of love, he was suave, seductive, and confident. In truth, he'd only become like that once he'd married Psyche, but still, nobody could find it in their hearts to really and truly hate him.

Not even his little cousin when he dropped in unexpectedly.

"Hiya, Kimmy!"

Kimmy dropped the manga she'd been reading in surprise.

"Eros?!" she asked. "The fuck are you doing here?!"

"Is there any rule keeping me from seeing my little cousin?"

"No, but you've never tried to visit me here before."

"Okay, you caught me. Your parents want to see you." Kimmy blinked.

"What?"

"You, Demeter, Zeus, Lucifer, and Hera are all meeting them for dinner on Mount Olympus."

"First of all, how did they get Grandma to agree to that? Second of all, why the fuck isn't Hermes delivering this message?"

"Demeter just wants to see Persephone. Hermes is busy, so I was the next messenger available besides Iris."

"And Hera's sending her elsewhere."

"Exactly."

"Well, it's been a while since I've seen the family, so I guess it wouldn't hurt." Kimmy shrugged. "When do they want me there?"

"In two hours."

"Well, good thing my best friend's my size, because I have nothing to wear to Olympus. Mind judging my outfits?"

"Not at all!"

Once Kimmy was dressed and had her long red hair in a wavy ponytail, she and Eros set out for Mount Olympus. Hades was already there when they arrived, as were Zeus, Hera, Demeter, and Satan. Persephone had yet to arrive, perhaps postponing the fight that was sure to break out. Demeter stood as soon as Kimmy entered the dining room, a welcoming smile on her face as she embraced her granddaughter.

"Kimberly!" she breathed. "My precious granddaughter! It's been too long!" She released Kimmy and looked her up and down. "You look more and more like your mother every time I see you!"

"Thanks, Grandma," Kimmy replied. "I'm still my dad's daughter, though."

"Naturally." Demeter's voice had become strained.

"Kimberly!" Hera called. "Come take a seat!" Kimmy sat at the table as the door opened and Persephone rushed in, her once-long red hair now cropped to shoulder-length. Demeter gasped, as did Hades, Satan, and Kimmy.

"Mom! This looks great!" Kimmy complimented.

"And you look beautiful! Earth has been treating you well."

"More like Kate has a sense of fashion and we're the same size."

"I'm happy to see you at any rate."

Dinner arrived and the gods ate, Kimmy eating very little so she could have the dinner Kate was making at home.

"So, Eros tells us you're living with a mortal family?" Hera inquired.

"Yeah. Kate's my best friend, so it doesn't bug me."

"And speaking of your best friend—" Zeus began, but was cut off by glares from everyone at the table. "Never mind."

"How is she?" Hades asked.

"She's fine." She narrowed her ice-blue eyes. "Why are you all so curious about Kate?"

"Well, is she okay?" Satan asked. "I mean… has she fallen in love?"

" 'Fallen in love'? Hell no! I mean… there's a couple of guys interested in her, and I'd rather permanently lose my life than hand her over to either of them… wait… Eros came to get me… then he headed back to South Park—" She leapt to her feet. "No. No. You are not allowed to mess with her."

"Aphrodite wants her to make a choice between the immortal boy and the Jew," Zeus explained. "She's sick of watching them try to win her affection, so we figured we'd ask your opinion first."

"Wow, thanks, Grandpa. My opinion is fuck off."

"It's happening either way, I'm afraid. We just wanted to tell you."

"Fuck this family!" Kimmy stormed off, but Persephone ran after her youngest.

"Kimmy, baby, please listen," she begged.

"Okay, but only because you and Dad are the only ones I'm not pissed at right now."

"Aphrodite asked us to help her, so we had no choice but to ask your permission. It was a formality."

"And here I thought my family wanted to see me."

"We did, but with you living in the mortal plain, it's not that simple. I do have an idea, though."

"Okay. I can deal with that."

"See you soon, sweetheart."

"Bye, Mom. Tell Dad and Satan I said bye, too."

The poll is now closed. Comment voting is still allowed.

Wow… this is the shortest chapter I've written…

So long and thanks for all the fish!