Little chapter I had an idea for, so no "Marjorine" yet. It's still coming, but it's very slow going. This little original chapter is one I've actually wanted to do for a while now. Originally, it was combined with another storyline about Mr. Kitty dying, but I don't want to write that. I may hate Cartman but finding your own cat's dead body is depressing and it hurts your heart. That's how I felt a few years ago when our Kit-Kat died… *sniff*

Anyway, this chapter is explaining a minor plot point from the Valentine's special—why Kate knows Scott and both she and Cartman refer to him as their brother.

Enough talk.

OWTF!

"FATASS!"

"JERSEY WHORE!"

"MOMMA'S BOY!"

"WANNABE GINGER BITCH!"

"PSYCHO-SOCIOPATH!"

"TWO-FACED SKANK!"

"Jesus Christ!" Stan yelped as he, Kyle and Kenny entered the Cartman residence. "What the hell happened this time?!"

"This motherfucker stole my diary again!" Kate snarled.

"Dude, give her back her diary!" Kyle groaned. "That's private information!"

"Not until she tells me the big secret she and Mom have been keeping!"

"There's a reason we're keeping a secret, dumbfuck!"

"OH, YEAH?! WHY?!"

"BECAUSE YOU'LL REACT BADLY! MOM SAID NOT TO TELL YOU BECAUSE OF HOW YOU'LL REACT!"

"Then I'm sure you won't mind if I read your diary out loud, especially the passages on Kinney and Kyel—"

Kate let out a growl and tackled her brother to the floor. Her diary flew out of his jacket and landed at Stan's feet. He picked it up and examined it.

It was a thick, fuzzy purple notebook with a pink swirly-heart pattern on it. It was… cute, something he didn't really associate with Kate Cartman. He associated her with badassery and striking-terror-into-the-hearts-of-her-enemies, not fuzzy purple notebooks with pink swirly-heart patterns.

"Hey, is this it?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Kate kneed Cartman in the groin and took the notebook from Stan. "Thanks, Stan."

"No problem."

"Kate!" Liane called. "Could you come upstairs for a minute?"

"Jersey Whore's getting in trouble!" wheezed Cartman. She kicked him in the thigh before heading upstairs. She came back downstairs about twenty minutes later to find the boys playing video games with a now-recovered Cartman.

"What was up with that?" Kyle asked.

"Mom gave me the okay to tell Cartman what's going on," Kate replied. "We're adopting another kid."

"WHAT THE SHIT?!" Cartman roared, throwing down his controller and facing his sister. "WE ALREADY HAVE ONE! THAT'S ENOUGH!"

"He's older than us," Kate replied calmly. "From what Mom said, he's a freshman in high school. I think his name is… Scott something? Something with a T?"

"Tenorman?"

"Yep! That's it."

"Our mother is adopting Scott Tenorman?"

"Yeah."

"FUCK!" Cartman kicked over a chair. "SCOTT TENORMAN IS MOVING IN!"

"According to Mom, you're his closest living relative, both by blood and distance. Therefore, now that he's done with his therapy, he's moving in with us."

"FUCK. THAT."

"It's already been legalized. He's coming tomorrow."

"GODDAMMIT!"

The following day, Scott Tenorman arrived while Kate and Liane were grocery shopping. Cartman was the only one home, so when the doorbell rang, he chose to ignore it. The ringing didn't stop, so he was forced to acknowledge the door and open it. Scott was on the steps, suitcase in hand and a smirk on his face.

"Hello, brother," he chuckled.

"Hello, Scott," Cartman hissed.

"Wow! So this is where I'm going to be living?"

"My mom and sister aren't home."

"Wait, what sister?"

"My little sister, Kate. She'll be back in a little bit."

"Well, if they're not here, let me tell you something, fatboy. I'm not any happier about this than you are, so let's just agree to not try and kill each other."

"That… sounds reasonable."

"I still hate you."

"Same here."

"So, where's my room?"

"You're in the basement. Mom and Kate fixed it up a bit for you."

"Okay… I'm not going down there without them."

"Suit yourself." Cartman sat down on the couch and started channel surfing. Scott took the opportunity to look around the house. He quickly found Cartman's room and was confused by the stuffed animals and rather normal-looking items you'd expect in the room of a nine-year-old boy. Scott then found a girl's room—Kate's, he guessed. She was obviously a reader and had books all over the place. Everything else was typical of a family in South Park—a parent's room and a bathroom at the end of the hall. It was obvious why he'd been put in the basement, though. Liane was smart enough not to stick him in the same room as Cartman, and he knew he didn't want to share a room with a little girl.

This might not be so bad…

"We're back!" Kate announced as she walked through the door.

"Hey!" Scott greeted her, taking the shopping bag she was carrying. "You're Kate, right?"

"Yeah…" she replied skeptically. "Why?"

"I'm Scott Tenorman, your new brother."

"It's nice to meet you, Scott."

"Oh!" Liane gasped. "I didn't realize you'd be here so soon! Did Eric give you any trouble?"

"No. I just kinda checked out the house a bit. Thanks for letting me live here."

"I already have Kate and Eric. As long as you don't mind them, we'll be fine."

"It's no problem."

Scott helped Kate and Liane with the groceries, Cartman watching from the couch. He was suspicious of Scott's behavior, but decided not to say anything. Liane made dinner and the four of them ate.

"That was great, Ms. Cartman!" Scott complimented.

"Please, call me Liane, or Mom, if you prefer. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"I made fudge!" Kate announced.

"Aw, sweet!" Cartman cheered.

Within a couple days, Scott had settled in. Since he was in the basement, Kate warned him about the giant hole in the floor, which the older boy avoided. Cartman avoided Scott, preferring to stay in his room over bonding with his siblings. He didn't even try to mess with Kate like he normally did. She seemed to have noticed and intentionally did things she knew Cartman would pick on, but he still didn't say anything. It alarmed her and she mentioned it to the others.

"Cartman and Scott have a bit of a…history," Kyle sighed.

"What kind of history?"

"Well, a while before you moved to town, Scott tricked Cartman into buying his pubes for five dollars."

"EW!"

"I know, right?" Stan scoffed.

"Anyway," Kyle continued, "Cartman was desperate to get his money back once he found out that just having pubes wasn't enough to kickstart puberty for him."

"How far did Cartman go?"

"(Pretty fucking far!)" Kenny spat. "(He hosted a chili cookoff after Scott humiliated him in front of the entire town and…)"

"He made Scott's parents into the chili," finished Kyle. "And fed it to Scott."

Kate's face suddenly turned green as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the bushes.

"Shit! Sorry, Kate!" She wiped her mouth and coughed.

"It's fine! No, it's not—that's disgusting! And… wait, don't Cartman and Scott share a father?" Her eyes widened. "Cartman killed his own father. I killed my father. We have more in common than I thought…"

Short chapter today.

This was written a while back, but I thought you all would enjoy it.

I think I should give my announcement that this story is going to end soon. I feel like I've done all I can with this story, so I'm going to end it at chapter 30. Make sure to submit your episode requests!

So long and thanks for all the fish!