After Being Blue
Poke-ball 20: Colourless

Everything looked washed out when he woke up.

Maybe it was because the walls and the linen were all white. Or maybe it was because everything had been burning before that. Arcanine. Then before that the gym and he'd fled from that place and Arcanine was the price he'd wound up paying for it.

And Red. He remembered Red being there – or had Red been a toxin induced illusion instead? The poison had gotten them both, in the end. But he was sure Arcanine wasn't. His mangled, still body on the curb was just…

Blank. White. Washed out.

Maybe it had to do with the drugs creeping up is arm. He hadn't realised that before.

'At least you're not the type to pull IV lines out. The doctors are glad.'

He looked up slowly. Red was there. He looked muted too, even if he was wearing his usual clothes. It must've been the expression, or that heavy aura that clung to him. 'We couldn't find Erika,' he admitted.

'…that's good,' Blue said, after a pause. 'She's mad.'

'Obviously,' he snorted. 'What the hell was she thinking? No pokemon she has could crush Arcanine like that. Even if the poison probably was her handiwork.'

'It was a bunch of Pidgey…' Blue said slowly. Should he be this talkative? This calm? It probably was the drugs. And the shock. It was a nice feeling though: this washed out numbness. It wasn't going to last though. He was pragmatic enough to know it wasn't going to last. 'She ordered them around like they were her own pokemon but she specialises in grass types. And her Vileplume used Toxic, obviously.'

'Obviously,' Red echoed. 'Erika is a gym leader. She should know better. And, on top of that, she wants to see this rotten government torn down and the world changed.'

Blue laughed. Red stared at him. 'Some people don't care for how you're changing the world,' he said to his old friend. 'Setting the gym on fire? You and I are both guilty of it, but people died in that fire. Pokemon died in that fire. Do you know the reason why Erika did what she did? She said you need to appreciate life – and though she didn't say it, she probably meant I need to appreciate it as well. After all, it was my pokemon she went after. Not yours.'

'Only because she knows its suicide to face the Champion.' Red's face had twisted into a glorious frown. 'Appreciate life, huh. And she expects me to do that after killing a friend's pokemon? After killing a friend and rival of my own pokemon?' He shook his head. 'People want change, and then they balk at what it means. She's free from her responsibilities now but she doesn't see that. She doesn't see what she's gained. Only what she's sacrificed.'

'Sabrina said she doesn't care, either,' Blue said thoughtfully – though it sounded even to his own ears more like a monotone. 'People want the world to change but they're only happy if someone else is making the sacrifices. And you've taken it upon yourself to make those sacrifices and dragged me along in your mess.'

Red considered that. 'I'm sorry,' he said sincerely. 'But this just proves things do need to change. I'd bring Arcanine back if I could.'

'You can't.'

'Obviously. Being a Champion isn't much, in the end. But Erika's still going to pay.' Even if he had no idea where to find her, and mobilising the League meant admitting his own part in the fire and he couldn't do that. Not yet. Not now.

Blue closed his eyes. His heart was floating about, probably, because he didn't feel much anger towards Erika – or even Red. 'Arcanine's not going to come back,' Blue repeated. 'I've got lots of other pokemon, but they're mine and they're different from each other and now I have to tell them that, in part because of something I did, Arcanine's gone.'

'I know,' said Red quietly.

'…it's still not sinking in.'

Red was silent at that. What could he say? What should he say?

He'd wanted his boiling anger to scald Erika and give her third degree burns but Erika had been nowhere to be found.

'Do you remember the Pokemon Tower?' Blue asked suddenly. 'The ghost of the Marowak. Team Rocket. The graves of all those pokemon.'

'Arcanine as well?' Red asked.

'I should, shouldn't I?' Blue looked at the drip. 'How long?'

'As long as you need,' Red replied, even if the furrow of his brow gave his impatience away.

He'd put that aside, for now. He wasn't the Champion, but Blue's childhood friend – and his friend needed him right there, at least for now.