Here's another chapter for ya, peeps. Sorry it's a little lame, but I feel it's a necessary evil before we can get to the good stuff. Also, I guess I should leave a disclaimer, or something: I do not own the characters of Adventure Time outside of my OC's. All things Adventure Time related belong to Pendleton Ward and everyone else who worked on it. Lastly, just in case you guys are new here, the people talking in the first person with parentheses around the sentences are the Writer and Narrator of the story, the former having no bolded or italicized lettering while the latter does possess those. I got criticized last story for overemphasizing them, so I'm gonna do my best to not play them up that much in this story, instead relegating their banter largely to this chapter. Thanks for the patience, peeps. Better things to come in the near future.

*Update June 25 2019*: I've decided to make Bubblegum and Marceline's romance canonical with this continuity, at least in the past. After rethinking the meaning behind What Was Missing as well as Sky Witch (not to mention that it was actually made canonical by the end of the series), I decided that simply seeing it as nothing more than platonic was just not feasible (and a bit immature on my part). Honestly, I don't really ship those two, but it would add more tension between the two characters in later stories for my continuity. It would also better relate Marcy with Finn, as both had feelings for the same woman.

Chapter 2: Alternate Timelines and Boring Exposition

(Ok. I admit, peeps. I literally couldn't think of a better way to exposit most of the backstory for the Disgruntle Fanonverse, due to a lot the new info overlapping with the main-canon stuff. So I just basically made an exposition dump to get the boring stuff out of the way)

(Oh! Don't lie to the peeps! You're just a lazy bum who barely looked over the chapter and wanted to just get it over with! Also, nice job deleting the first draft to hide the fact that you dropped the gun on your planned universe!)

(Look! I admit I didn't think these things through, alright? Writing's hard biz, yo, and it's not like I have all of the time to write it.)

(Says the full-grown man with no job and still living with his parents!)

(…I hate you so much)

(I love you too, sweetheart. Anyway, much as I love to torment my lesser half, he's got a point. We didn't really cover much of the backstory of the DFV in the previous story, so it's best that we just do so, here.)

(That, and we got some flak for being too prevalent in the previous story, so I think it would also be best if we TRY to limit MOST of our banter to this chapter…but no promises)

(EXACTLY! And we don't wanna listen to this blabber mouth for twenty-something chapters, now do we?)

( :( )

(If you can't tell peeps, that's his exasperated face. What a cry baby! Now then, let's get this expositional gravy boat a gravyin'!)

Chapter 2: Alternate Timelines and Boring Exposition

Much had changed in the past three years for our hero, Finn the Human. He had just about lost his hero's heart due to the break up with his ex, Flame Princess, the constant rejection by his long-time crush, Princess Bubblegum, the death of his hero, Billy, and even worse, the revelation that his only known blood relative, his father, Martin, was nothing more than a criminal and a selfish jerkwad, and Finn had lost his right arm in a vain attempt to get him to stay with him. For a good solid year, Finn had suffered from a bad case of the bumpass (a more awesome way of saying depression, in case you decided to skip "Attraction"…which you should go read, right now, cuz' it's really good and less than 30k words long!), and thus quit his adventuring, stopped carrying about helping others, forsook his Human heritage, and, overall, just lost his, well, Finny-ness. It seemed nothing was going right or would ever go right, again. (But wait! There's more!)

However, with the help of his many friends, especially his brother and bestie, Jake, his old crush, Bubblegum, and an unlikely friend (You know who it is, so I'll save her for later. Dramatics, am I right?) Finn would eventually overcome his serious bumpassness and return to the light. With all their helpful advice and his newfound determination, Finn became an even greater hero and adventurer than before, swearing never to get caught up in any bumpass moods, again, and always helping others in need, no matter what ate at him. For the past couple of years, Finn had received training from the greatest warrior ever to come out of the Candy Kingdom; Rattleballs. With his training, and the addition of a "kewl", new robotic arm that Bubblegum made for him, Finn's strength, speed, and reflexes had reached new levels for the already superhumanly-endowed Human boy. Not to mention, he would become much a kewler looking hero and adventurer later on. During his adventures, Finn had gotten an awesome looking sword that he unimbedded out of the skull of a giant, mountain-dwelling skeleton with the temper of a billy goat. It was a katana forged of white steel with a blue handle, of which Finn had ingeniously named the "Banana Sword," because of its resemblance to his third favorite fruit. Finn made a pact with himself that he would always strive to be and look as kewl as he possibly could (I mean, come on! What could be "kewler" looking than a dude in a fluffy, white bear hat?...Why are you looking at me like that?)

Now, eighteen years of age, Finn felt at his peak of kewlness, nearly being purged of all bumpassness. He wore a sweet, new "Rad Plaid" shirt around his waist (Because my big bro has a thing for putting men in battle skirts….don't ask. He's just weird like that), a scraggly patch of fuzz on his face to show off his new manliness, and was now as "tall as a pygmy redwood" as Jake would say. From then on, Finn decided that if life was gonna give him sass, he would tell Life to go sit in a corner and think about what she'd done, 'cuz he was gonna live her to the fullest. Life was gonna be his only woman, from now on. That's right. Finn had made the ultimate pact for himself to never hook up with a non-abstract girl ever again. He would dedicate the rest of his life fully to the cause of being the "Greatest Hero and Adventurer in all of Ooo," without the pains and aches of a girl to slow him down. There was no way in helps he would ever again be swayed by the power of "Like-Like!" right? Right? (OMG. I'm so clever. I really wonder if people are fooled by my genius-level of subtle foreshadowing)

Marceline Abadeer, more commonly known to her very few friends as "Marceline, the Vampire Queen", by contrast, had not changed a whole lot in the past 3 years. Not really. Well, maybe just a bit, but nothing substantial. Being a thousand and six years old (and change) in a world that was largely unchanging itself, she felt that she didn't really need to. She was content to live her immortal life on the edge, always living by her own rules, not giving a care what others thought of her. Of course, that's what the hardcore rocker chick usually told herself. But, deep down, she was actually quite insecure and lonely. Deep down, she wanted to have lasting friendships. Deep down, she wanted to share her life with someone. Deep down, she wanted to be loved…romantically. But such matters were usually fleeting. Most people would die, eventually, and those that didn't, she would eventually grow tired of, be it because they legitimately bored her or because they were just selfish butts who would use her for their own, selfish gain. (*sniffles* Oh, poor Marcy. Don't worry, dear, you'll find your love at the end. We're cheering for you *breaks down into a crying mess* DON'T GIVE UP!) On top of all that, let's face it, Marceline wasn't the nicest or most caring individual you'd ever meet, and she was often quite selfish and apathetic to the problems of others, focusing on her own issues like a brooding, angst-ridden teenager (And none of us were like that in our lives, right? Glob, I hate high school-version-of-me). Living the way she has; all the loved ones lost, all the hardships she endured, all the jerkwads in her life, could anyone one really blame her? (If you say yes, don't! She's just complicated and sad, peeps! And if you have anything bad to say about my Marcy, I'm gonna take off your skin and shoved it up your…)

(Woah! Woah, dude! Chill. It's ok)

(*Sniffles* I'm sorry, I just get so worked up over Marcy, the perfectest girl of all time, and I can't bare the thought of someone who doesn't 107% agree with me)

(I know dude, I know. But we still gotta ways to go in this story, and I need you to be focused on the narration. Come on, stay strong… for Finn and Marcy!)

(*Sniffles* you're right! For Finn and Marcy!)

However, despite herself, Marceline had made a few friends along the way, and there were people she still loved, dearly. There was, of course, her father, Hunson Abadeer, the Demon lord of the Nightosphere, who she still had a really strained relationship with, but the two have still made a lot of headway, despite the fry-eating incident. There was also Simon Petrikov, who was like a second father to her, who had saved her countless times during the time of the apocalypse, and who she tragically lost to insanity brought on by the crown that turned him into the Ice King. After centuries of trying to stay away from that other side of him, she eventually let Simon back into her life, using each other's love of music to bond with him. She had wished that this bond was a little more heartwarming, but she was just finally glad that she made the attempt. For three years, they worked on a new album together called "Feels of Steel", and such activity has kept the Ice King from kidnapping princesses.

Speaking of princesses, her longest lasting relationship had been with her off-again-on-again girlfriend, Princess Bubblegum, a fact she accepted, begrudgingly. There was still a great deal of strain between the two, as they shared very little in common, anymore, and both were too stubborn and prideful to ever show appreciation for each other, outwardly, but deep down, there was still a feeling that both wanted to be closer, again. For a while, some attempts were made. Bubblegum got Marcy her teddy back from a crazy witch chick (I shall not say her real name, because she is a totally crappy villain with poorly explained motivations and helped make one of the worst episodes in Adventure Time's history! Sorry, peeps, "Sky Witch" was hot garbage, and you know it!) by trading her favorite shirt that Marcy gave her years back (a fact that Marcy would not figure out until later). In return for her deed, Marcy did several odd jobs for the princess, even if she didn't want to. However, Marcy's pride and jealousy eventually got the better of her, as she was both humiliated by Bubblegum's showing off of her intelligence and ingenuity during their big adventure together, as well as the fact that she didn't want to feel like she owed her anything in the future.

And in about a year's time, she got her opportunity to really get even with Bubblegum. When that same crazy witch attempted to extract Bubblegum's essence, Marceline came just in the nick of time to save her and beat the crap out of the witch. However, due to Marcy's arrogant pride to show off a feat that Bubblegum herself was not able to do against the witch, as well as her anger of learning that Bubblegum had so haphazardly given up the shirt without even telling her about it, the two got into a huge argument, and in a moment of pure rage, Marc ripped the shirt in half out of spite, effectively ending their friendship for good. Since that day, the two have not spoken in two years.

A few years back, Marcy had also made friends with Jake the Dog, who used to be the biggest scaredy-cat when they first met, prompting her to scare the poots out of him whenever she got the chance. However, years of getting to know each other allowed them to ease the tension between each other (though she did occasionally scare him just for the laughs), and the two often shared jam sessions when Jake brought his brother, Finn, along.

Ah, yes! Finn! By far, Marceline's closest friend and her personal favorite to tease. What started out as a lot of uncertain moments of moral ambiguity soon turned into a friendship that's lasted for almost six years. Marcy had not spent as much time with Finn during the first four years of their friendship, as Finn had the responsibility of being the greatest hero in Ooo, and had a lot of other friends he hung out with, including that Flame Princess girl he had dated (Not to mention the aforementioned apathy and selfishness brought up in paragraph four).

However, when she finally took notice of all the bumpassness that Finn was going through, a new side of Marcy had been revealed to him (One she herself was not even sure existed until that moment), one who was willing to pay a lot money to buy an enormous block of cheese to bribe some giant Rats to have a pretend fight with her and Finn to help him recover from his bumpassness (only in an Adventure Time story can you say any of that with a straight face). When Marcy came in the nick of time to saved him and Jake from a horde of Orcs, Goblins and Trolls, a new kinda friendship had blossomed between her and Finn, and the two became closer than ever before. They now had twice the number of jam sessions, had some good laughs by pranking some peeps across Ooo, and when time permitted it, the two would even go on adventures together. For the better part of two years, the two had actually become 'friends-friends.'
But, of course the two agreed that they would only remain friends-friends. While both had admitted to each other that they had feelings that were on the level of like-like, they agreed that they were not ready for such a step, and that their friendship would be better without the complications of romance. And there was no way they'd ever break that promise. Not ever.

(Ha! Yeah right! Like we'd ever leave these two in the friendzone! It's only a matter of time, peeps! Now, all caught up, ladies and gentleman? Good! Cuz this narrator ain't stoppin' for nobody!)

(We'll try to keep our mouths shut during your reading of this fic, but if a particular scene needs a snarky comment, then we gotta answer the call. It's just how we roll, peeps)

(So, have a seat, crank up some Avril Lavigne, and let's see our favorite shipping in action!)