Chapter 3: Like! Like!

Marceline took Finn to a special place known as the "Dead Plains", a land that just so happened to be the gate way to the Underworld, the deepest and darkest of all the Dead Worlds. The Dead Plains were huge, about the size of ten football fields. The ground was covered in purple "zombie grass," and the bones of the dead of many sizes lay scattered. The sky was always covered in storm clouds, making it an ideal spot for Marceline, and the constantly flashing, purple lightning was more for dramatic effect than anything else. Marceline gave Finn the option of picking a famous person of his choice to fight, and she would resurrect him or her and any of his or her followers to do battle with. Hearing about a guy that the great Abraham Lincoln of Mars had known, Finn decided to choose the Union commander, General Ulysses S. Grant, and his entire army of Union soldiers. Jake had decided not to accompany them, feeling that the two needed some "quality time" together. Whatever the heck that meant. Finn and Marcy had been fighting undead Yankees for about an hour. They were surrounded on all sides by the undead soldiers, all of whom decided to fight up close with bayonets instead of shooting them from a distance, but the duo held their own. Despite the lengthy battle, neither was particularly tired, and both were having a blast. However, General Grant, who was standing on a hill above the duo, was far less giddy.

He raised his hands to his mouth and shouted. "Come on, boys! Kill em'! Kill em' and use their bones as an altar for the Great Emancipator!"

"Wow, Marcy!" Finn said as he hacked down Yankees. "We sure picked a mean, blood thirsty bunch, didn't we?"

Marceline was just a few feet behind him, hacking down soldiers with her axe bass with the slightest of ease. "You mean you picked a wimpy, chicken and pansy bunch!" She said in a feigned sense of disappointment. She had continued hacking away at the enemy for another five seconds, before finally turning to him when there was a lull in the fighting, giving a casual lean on her bass, and looked at Finn with a condescending smile. "Honestly, I'm a little disappointed! I was hoping you would have picked some one way meaner! Like…" She was interrupted by a couple of screaming Yankees behind her, whom she cut down with a single swipe. She put a hand to her chin "Oh, what was that one guy with the horses…Matilda the Nun?" She was interrupted again by a group of soldiers piling on top of her. But, she simply demolished them to pieces with a blast of telekinesis, and went back to her casual conversation. "Whatever 'what's-his-face's name' was! The guy with the funny mustache and helmet! He was a lot scarier than these wimps!" even more soldiers charged at her and, again, she cut them down with little effort.

As Finn continued to fight his own share of baddies, time seemed to slow down, for him, and he took a glimpse at Marceline, admiring her kickbuttery (and also her butt...Sorry. It was there. I had to). He knew Marcy was more than capable of holding her own in a fight, but it seemed that every time he saw her battle, her vigor and awesomeness multiplied by 2.7% (the highest number he could multiply to, 'cuz math was not his strong suit, yo). In fact, as her awesomeness multiplied, so did her good looks. Each time they met, Finn found it harder to resist her voluptuous figure, her flowing raven hair, and those cute, pointy ears. "Man," Finn whispered to himself. "Marcy is just so…'topographical.'"

"What?!" Marceline said, hacking through more soldiers. "What was that, Finn?! I can't hear you through the blood-curdling screams and snapping bones!"

"Huh?" Time sped up for Finn once more and he returned to his senses. No! No! Bad Finn! Bad! Remember your promise! A soldier jumped on his back, but Finn effortless through it off, and it produced a Wilhelm scream when it flew through the air. "I mean, Yeah!" he slashed a couple of more soldiers down "That's totally topographical!" He did a spinning, diagonal flip on a group of Yankees. "We should…" He stretched out all his limbs to different sides, punching a Yankee's skull in with his robot hand, stabbing another one's head with his sword, and kicking the other two in the groin, sending all falling to the ground. "...definitely… " He saw a four Yankees charge at him at all sides, bayonets at the ready, and simply jumped in the air, letting the Yankees impale each other, and coming back down, using a single kick to knock them all aside. Finn looked back at her once more. "Do that next Tuesday!"

Marceline grew into her giant bat form and brought a massive hand down on the remaining troops in their vicinity. She turned to him, smiling. "Definitely!"

Meanwhile, from atop his hill, General Grant watched in horror as he saw half of his army get wiped out by the giant bat creature. He shook his bony fists in the air. "Dank stank it!" he shouted. "It's bad enough that the Johnny Rebs got a boy to beat us up, but now they got transmorphigating goat monsters, too?!" He contemplated his next move, until he finally had a plan. He pointed to a nearby soldier to his side. "You! Sargent Polasky!"

"Um…Lieutenant Schaefer…sir." the undead soldier said, nervously.

"Private Jenkins," Grant said. "I need you tell the men to ready the cannons!"

The Lieutenant gave a shaky salute. "Uh…yes sir!" He put his hands to his mouth. "Hey guys! Ready the cannons!"

"Ok!" The other soldiers said in unison, unenthusiastically. And they turned the cannons to the duo below.

General Grant held his hand up, readying his men for the upcoming barrage. "Ok, boys! He shouted. "By the count of ten, we will rain heck fire down on these non-believers who would dare give us sass about our great nation!" The undead infantry readied their muskets, while the artillery men held their matches close to the ignition of the cannons. Grant began to count aloud. "1…" he brought one finger down. "2…" he brought another one down. "3…4..." He used up all the fingers in his raised hand, so he raised his other hand. "5…6…7…8" He stopped, and decided to look at his hands. He had finally realized that he only had eight fingers in total. He got peeved at this. "Ah, snutch it!" He pointed toward Marceline. "Just shoot the demon down!" All the men turned toward Marceline and fired their muskets and cannon balls.

Time slowed down for Finn, once more, as he saw all the fire concentrated on Marceline. Finn, surprised and scared, and decided to act on his impulse. "Marcy! Nooooooooooooooooo!" Finn said in what felt like slow-mo. He jumped into the sky, wrapped his arms around Marceline's massive belly, and both came falling down. After what seemed like forever, Finn finally opened his eyes to see that he was right on top of Marceline, now reverted back to her normal form, smiling smugly. Finn looked in fear and surprise, his face red with embarrassment.

"Gee, Finn," Marceline said suggestively. "I didn't know you were into that kinda stuff."

"What?!" Finn felt his arms still around Marceline, which made him panic. "No! It's not anything like that, Marcy! I…I was just trying to save you and…and…" He tried to get his arms free, but they were stuck around Marceline's back. However, Marceline seemed to ignore his explanation, and simply grabbed his hands from behind her, and flipped him on to his back, with her now on top of him. She pinned his hands to the ground, and kept her legs pressed hard on the sides of his.

"Well, you should know, I always take 'topsies'." She said, seductively.

"M-M-Marcy!" Finn shouted. "W-What are you doing?!" He tried to get out of her grip, but Marceline was clearly the stronger of the two. "I thought we agreed to not go down this…"

She put a finger to his lips, shushing him. She giggled, flirtatiously. "Pucker up, hero." She closed her eyes, and brought her lips down to his.

Finn looked both in horror and a strange sense of delight. His hero-heart was saying "no," but his hormones were saying "yes." He wasn't sure which to follow at this point, so he simply closed his eyes, clenched his teeth, and waited to see what would happen next.

"FIRE AGAIN, SOME MORE!" Shouted Grant from afar, and even more musket and cannon balls rained down upon Finn and Marceline.

Finn had only got to see a glance of the explosion, wanting to tell Marcy to get out of the way, but everything turned to into a blur before he could say anything. In a few seconds, Finn found himself being carried in the hands of Marcy, who had gotten them both to safety behind what appeared to be a giant's shoulder blade.

Marcy placed Finn down like a weightless flower pot and brushed the sweat from her head. "Phew. That was close" She then looked at Finn's red face and dumbfounded expression. "What's wrong, Finn?" she asked, nonchalantly. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Muh…muh…muh..." was all Finn could say. Luckily, he didn't have to think too hard, anymore, as another barrage of explosive balls smashed into the shoulder blade, sending the two of them falling to the ground, and bringing Finn back to his senses.

"Aaargh! Dang it!" Marceline shouted. "These guys won't let up!"

"Calm on, Marcy!" Finn said with confidence. "These guys can't aim for beans! Let's just charge em' and go nutters!"

Marcy shook her head. "Naw, Finn. That's just what they'd expect us do. Plus, if we make just one little slip, they'll turn us into Swiss cheese."

Finn thought about this for a moment. He liked to charge his enemies head on, and he liked Swiss cheese, but he didn't like the idea of turning into a salty treat, especially before dinner. Finn frowned at Marcy's refusal, but he decided to comply. "Harumph! Ok. So, what do we do?"

Marceline thought for a moment. She snapped her fingers in a "eureka" moment. "I got it! You wait here while I'll go get some help, ok?." As she took to the air, she turned back to him to say. "And don't move from this spot, alright? I don't wanna get my hair dirty digging a grave for your sorry butt." Then she flew off into the distance, disappearing over the horizon.

Fifteen minutes later, General Grant accessed the current situation. He saw that the giant's shoulder blade still remained unscathed. Hmm, he thought to himself. He thought through a plan in his head, and then turned to his men. "Alright, men! I know we've been at this whole heavy artillery business for a good while, but after careful consideration, I decided that we SHOULD FIRE SOME MORE ARTILLERY TO MAKE SURE THEIR CORPSES NEVER RISE AGAIN!"

The men just looked at him, awkwardly, for a moment, until Lieutenant Schaefer decided to speak up. "Um…sir…the thing is, we…um…don't have any more ammunition."

"What?!" Grant screamed. "No ammonution?!" Grant began to boil with anger. "FOR ABE'S SAKE, WE WERE SO CLOSE!" He tore off his arm, and tossed it to the ground, stomping on it. He then raised his fist into the sky. "CURSE YOU DAVIS! CURSE YOU LEE! CURSE YOUR ENTIRE CONFEDERACY TO HELPS!" He went on his knees, feeling that he had no other option to turn to. But then, a spark of ingenuity came to him. He looked at the lieutenant to his left, and then the men on his right. Yes! Thought Grant. I got something the Rebs will never suspect! He got up, reattached his arm and pointed towards the lieutenant. "You! Major Henson!"

The Lieutenant straightened up for a salute. "Y-yes sir?!"

"You like flying?" Grant asked.

The lieutenant gave a puzzled look, rubbing the back of his head. "Um...I...guess so?"

Back with Finn, he was just sitting there, agitated by all the waiting and the desires his body was craving (both food-wise and girl-wise). Come on, Finn! His hero-heart said. Marcy is your friend, not your pleasure poster! You made a promise to yourself and to her that you guys would be just friend-friends! Stop screwing it up! However, as hard as he tried to fight these feelings, his hormones where fighting back even harder. But, oh man, they to seem to say. She's so beautiful. That body, that voice, that hair. And those ears. Those pointy, pointy ears. I just want to hold her and kiss her and pinched those ears so badly! Then his hero-heart decided to take back over. No, Finn! This is not what you want! You're a hero, not a pervert! Get those foul thoughts out of your head, right now, young man, or no video games for you for an entire month! Then, his hormones interjected. Don't resist it, my dude. It's like Jake said, 'you can't ignore your primestinctual thoughts. And man, my primestinctual senses are telling me you need to give Marcy the ol'... Finn both shook and smacked his head to stop that thought. "No! Cut...it...out...you...sicko!" Try as he might, it now seemed like both his heart and his hormones were in a wrestling match over his body, tearing him to pieces from the inside. Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No! The internal struggle just kept going and going and going, until, eventually, he couldn't take it, anymore. He got up, and gave his mightiest of boyish roars. "FUDGE THIS! I'm gonna charge these fools…FOR CROSSING THE TOLL BOOTH OF JUSTICE!" He then ran out from behind his wall of bone, and began to charge at the enemy, foaming at the mouth and screaming. Just then, he saw the enemy firing cannon balls again, so Finn jumped out of the way of each of their blast radii. "Ha! You guys need your smart glasses!" However, Finn wasn't so cocky when he saw that all the cannon balls turned out to be a bunch of undead soldiers rolled up into a fine ball. "Huh" Finn thought. "I need to try that trick with, someday." The soldiers all got out of their "platoon pellets", and began to charge the boy head on. "Alright, you boneheads! Time to show you what Finn the Human is really made of!" Finn simply engaged the enemy head on.

For a while, Finn was able to fend off most of the attackers, using the same tactics he had used before. However, as more soldiers were launched into the fray, Finn found himself overwhelmed. From atop the hill, Grant was celebrating his "Soon to be victory" with a long neck and a big ol' cigar. "Hahahahaaha!" He laughed. He gestured to the now empty spaces where his men used to be. "What'd I tell ya, boys?! There's a reason our president chose me for this mission!" He took a sip of his beer and a puff of his cigar, with liquid and smoke pouring from the holes in his body and took a casual lean on his undead Horse. "Pretty soon, the Rebs will be begging for mercy, and Honest Abe himself will make me a Super, Supreme, Ultra General Vice President!" He laughed some more. "Yes siree! This battle is as good as ours!" But, Grant didn't stay chipper for long. He took a closer look at the opposite side of the field, which was covered in a bunch of moving bodies, headed towards his way. "What in the…" He dropped his beer and cigar, and rushed to get a telescope from the pack on his horse. He unsheathed the scope, and took a good through it. He now could see, clearly, a bunch of mean looking fellows on horses. "Oh my…"

Finn was doing his best to fend off the horde of Yankees, but their numbers were too great, and he was tiring out. "Come on!" Finn said, breathily, hacking a soldier in half. "I've got...a ton more awesomeness...for ya!" He hacked at the enemies, but for each one he took down, five more seem to take its place. Finn was attempting to come up with a new move, as his hacking and slashing was not gonna cut it this time (Teehee. Get it? "Cut?" 'Cuz, ya know, he has a sword and stuff? Ugh. Look. It was a semi-decent pun, so I had to comment on it. If not I, peeps, then you would've in the review section...probably...maybe...not at all). Come on, Finn! He shouted in his head. What was that cool move that Rattle Balls taught us? He thought hard as he defended himself from the Yankees, almost as if his arms were on autopilot, and his mind was in a state of strain, but focus. And then he remembered.

"Of course!" Finn shouted. "The Whirlwind Maneuever!" He readied himself by memorizing the moves in his head. "Ok! Swing the sword…" He began to do so, gradually gaining momentum, slicing or hitting back the soldiers in his immediate vicinity. "…jump in the air!" He jumped a good ten feet, the momentum of his sword taking him higher into the air. "…calm your mind…" Finn closed his eyes and focused. "…and let your body do the rest." In that instant, Finn became a blue and white tornado, and, for a while, his move seemed to be doing the trick. But, as soon as the vortex and dust cleared, he found himself on the ground, only taking a handful of the troops out, and leaving the others on their butts.

"Ah, dingus," Was all Finn could say, before the troops all dog-piled on Finn. Finn had spent most of his energy in that one move, and he could do very little but struggle. "Ugh! Get off me!" He shouted. "Y'all… smell like… cat butts!" Finn braced himself under the combined weight of the soldiers, using his remaining strength to do little more than to keep himself from being crushed. It seemed to be the end for our hero. But, at the final second, help had finally arrived.

"Yahooooooooooooo!" hollered Marceline, as she led her army of Huns on horseback across the battlefield. The Horses trampled much of the Yankees, like a tide smashing the shore, and soon the battlefield was covered with Huns doing battle with Yankees. Marcy found a mound of Yankees, and figured that was where Finn was.

"Pfft. I told him to wait," She said, condescendingly. She jumped off her horse and dived, headfirst, into the pile of Yankees. She hacked her way into the pile, until she was smack dab in the center. She hollowed out the inside, picked up Finn, and cut a doorway out of the mass and the rest of the undead mound fell to pieces. She placed Finn down on the ground, and pressed her palms on Finn's chest to revive him. In one good push, Finn began coughing out the stink gas of the Yankees. He opened his eyes to see Marcy on top of him again. "You ok?" Marcy asked.

Finn felt the rush of embarrassment from before, and jumped to his feet. "Yeah! I feel great!" He flexed his mechanical arm to show that he was alright. "Thanks a ton, Marcy!"

She poked him in his chest very hard. "That's two you owe me, Pal. Next time, listen before you do something stupid, alright?"

Finn rubbed the spot on his chest, and smiled back at her. "Ok, Marce." He lied, of course. He couldn't follow a battle strategy to save his life. He was a man who always did things on the fly.

"Great," Marceline said with a nod and smile. She picked Finn up, once more, and placed him atop her undead Horse. "But, right now, you got a battle to win."

"Uh…Marcy?" Finn inquired. "What the heck am I supposed to…" before he could finish, Marcy slapped the Horse's hams, and it and Finn took off like a shot in the opposite direction.

"Go get em', hero." Marcy chuckled.

Grant was looking through his telescope to see Finn charging full force atop a horse, intriguing the general. "So, their general wants to challenge me in person, does he?" He sheathed the telescope and gave an amused harumph. "Well if he wants to die that badly, then I'll give him his wish!" He jumped atop his Horse, and pulled out his sword. "Come on, Cincinnati!" He shouted to the Horse. "Let's show that badger-eared hooligan what happens when you mess with Ulysses S. Grant!" He kicked his Horse with a "Hiya!" and they went to engage Finn.

Finn didn't know how to ride a Horse, usually preferring to converse and have tea with one, so he was doing little more than trying to not to fall off. "Woah, Mr. Horse!" Finn shouted, as he held tightly to undead horse's neck. "Could you…like…slow down, and stuff?!" The horse did not respond, far to set on attacking its target. "Please?!" Finn please. "Pretty please?!" Finn gripped even tighter. "PRETTY PLEASE WITH A SIDE OF BACON!" But, still, the horse continued its charge. Finn had his eyes clenched hard, until he heard the scream of Grant, as the latter attempted to cut his head clean off. However, Finn managed to dodge the strike, and tugged the horse's neck, causing them to turn in the opposite direction, facing Grant.

"You're quick on the draw, boy, I'll give you that," said Grant. "But, you're up against the greatest general who ever wore a pair of woolen pants!"

"Yeah! Well…" Finn began. He took a moment to come up with a clever comeback. "Y-your pants look dumb!"

Grant gasped in surprise. He raised his sword in anger. "How dare you insult my leggings?!" He continued to charge. "Have at you!"

"Ah, bean sniffers!" Finn said. And at that, his Horse began the charge again, Finn instinctively grabbing hold of its neck as it did.

"Aaaaaaaargh!" the general shouted, his sword readied for another chop.

"Aaaaaaaaargh, enough of this jazz!" Finn shouted. He hopped off his Horse, jumping high into the air, just in time to miss Grant's swing.

Grant looked into the sky. "Hey! That's cheating!" But Finn was already above him, ready to finish him off. Grant gulped. "Ah, crackers," he said, accepting his inevitable "redeath." With that Finn, cleaved Grant and his Horse in two with a single slash, ending the fight, once for all.

"Aaaaah yeeeeeeeeah!" Finn shouted, raising his sword into the air. "My Banana Sword brings death to all who serve evil's hand!" He sheathed his sword, and saw Marceline hovering toward him.

"Nice work, hero," she said casually. She pointed a thumb behind her, indicating the victorious army. "And I mopped up the rest of your mess."

"Hey!" Finn shouted, playfully. "You're the one who brought them to life."

Marcy gave him a raspberry. "Yeah. Whatever. I'm gonna go talk to Attila, over there." She indicated the guy with the long mustache and horned helmet.

"Ah man! You brought that guy back to life already?!" Finn asked excitedly. "I thought I was gonna have to wait a whole week to meet that guy! Woo!"

"Don't mention it," Marcy said smugly. The two walked up Attila the Hun. "Commander, you did a spot up job mopping up those fools in blue."

"I do it for the glory of combat, my country, and of my lady!" said Attila in a comically high-pitched voice."

"As a reward for your good work," She continued. "You guys get to drink the enemy's entire winery."

Attila smiled at that. "Yes, my lady!" he turned to his men. "Calm on guys! Let's party like there's no tomorrow!" The men cheered, and ran to the opposite side of the battlefield, headed toward the enemy's camp.

Finn looked in amazement. "Wow! That guy's moustache and helmet look super awesome!" He turned to Marceline, and pointed back at them. "Can I have a helmet and moustache, like that, too?"

"Next week," Marcy answered, smiling. "When we fight these guys."

"Rad!" Finn answered, happily.

Then, the Horse that Marceline had made Finn ride on earlier walked up to them, slowly.

"Hey, Manuel," Marcy said, floating towards the undead Horse and stroked its decaying face. "You did a good job, too."

"Manuel?" Finn asked.

"Oh. Sorry, Finn. I got so excited about the fighting, I didn't introduce you two." She pulled Manuel closer to Finn. "Manuel, this is Finn. Finn, Manuel."

"Hehehe. S'up, Manuel?" Finn reached up to pet the Horse. But, Manuel jerked his head away, unsure of his new acquaintance. "W-what's wrong?"

"You gotta offer him some Zombie Grass," Marcy said matter-of-factly. "Duh. Don't you know anything about Zombie Horses?"

Finn ignored Marcy's retort, used to her smartelic attitude, by this point. He reached for the ground, grabbing for the toothed grass that sought to eat his hand. With a quick swipe, he grabbed the grass by their roots, away from their tiny maws. He walked up slowly to Manuel, putting the grass near his mouth. Manuel sniffed the grass, and greedily took the grass from Finn's hand. He munched happily on the grass, though the grass shrieked in pain as they were turned to paste his mouth. Manuel whinnied happily, and brought his head down on Finn's hand, who petted the beast in kind. "Hehehe. Good boy, Manuel." The turned to Marcy, generally curious to know more about the Horse. "So, how did you guys meet?"

Marcy cringed at the question. She hesitated a bit, but slowly gave an answer. "He...he was…a gift from a…an old boyfriend." She floated towards Manuel, and gave another him pat on his face. "We go back a very long way." She looked near to tears at this point.

Finn felt he struck something, so he walked up to Marceline to try and comfort her. "Marcy, I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"No, Finn," She said, turning to him, abruptly, trying to lighten her expression. "It...it's good."

"Oh," Finn said, still uncertain about it. "Ok. Cool."

Marcy gave a smile and brightened up, not wanting Finn to worry about her. "Now, why don't you go back home, huh? I'm sure Jake's worried that I kidnapped you to harvest your blood."

Finn gave a nod, his worrying dying down. "Ok, Marcy," He started to turn away, but turned back around. "And thanks for the Zombie slaughter fest! That was really super adjacent!"

Marcy shrugged. "Don't mention it, hero," As he started walking away, another thought popped into her head. "Oh, Finn? One more thing."

Finn turn around to face her. "Yeah, Marcy?" Marcy floated over to him, put her hands on his shoulders, and gave him a big, wet kiss on his cheek. Finn's body started to tense up from the hormones and surprise.

"Mwah!" Marcy let out as she released her lips from his cheek. She slid a finger under his chin, causing the boy to grow even redder. "That was for earlier," She said in a seductive way. "Now, we're even." She then pushed Finn down to the ground. "Now, get out of my sight before I kill you! BLEEEEEEGH!" she said with a scary, distorted face.

"Hehehehe. Y-y-yeah, Marcy," Finn said, trying to laugh off the uncomfortable feeling he had. "S-s-see ya around." He got up, and ran as far away as he could.

Marceline cackled as he ran off, ever so entertained by his discomfort. "Oh, Finn. You're really too much fun." As she finished laughing, she felt a sense of disappointment, but still tried to make light of her feelings "It's too bad we agreed just to be friends, huh?" she whispered to herself. However, as the final image of Finn disappeared into the distance, she couldn't hide her depression any longer, and she held her head down and sighed. "Kinda regretting that decision, now, TBH." As she let her feelings fester, however, she became much more frustrated and tears began forming in her eyes. "Glob-dangit, Finn! Why did you have to grow up to be a semi-decent looking guy?!" She felt a nudge from behind her and turned to see a worried Manuel. She looked at him, angrily. "And why did I have to bring you back, of all times?!" The horse hung its head down, fully aware that Marcy was upset with him. However, Marcy's face began to soften, and she patted the horse, gently. "It's ok, Manuel. I'm not mad at you." In truth, she knew it wasn't Manuel's fault, as he was just an animal following his master's orders. It was his former owner, her old boyfriend, whom she was truly mad at. She forced a smile, brought the horse's head to her face, and she stroked it. "I'm alright, Manuel. Just go back to your grave, and I promise I'll visit you real soon, ok? And I'll give you all the Zombie Grass you can eat." The horse brightened up, gave a last whinny, and galloped off. As the horse disappeared into the fog, her façade of a smile started to melt. Tears formed in her eyes, and her mind raced at her combo of frustrations of now and of the past. "Why, Richard?" She sobbed. "Why did you have to do it?"

Finn ran with all his might across the grassy plains, trying his darnedest to get as far away from Marceline as possible. "I DON'T LIKE HER IN THAT WAY! I DON'T LIKE HER IN THAT WAY! I DON'T LIKE HER IN THAT WAY!" he kept repeating to himself. "SHE'S JUST JACKING WITH YOUR BRAIN! SHE'S JUST JACKING WITH YOUR BRAIN! SHE'S JUST JACKING WITH YOUR BRAIN!" He eventually stopped his ranting when he tripped over a log, and landed face first in the mud. He sighed, the bubbles forming in the mud as he did so. He got up and wiped his face, giving an exasperated sigh. "Maybe I do still like her in that way. Oh, man. Why did this have to happen to me?" For the better part of two years, Finn did his best to resist the power of "like-like", pushing any sorta thought to the back of his mind. He realized a while back that his typical "Mind-Vault Technique" didn't work in instances like this, for if it did, he would've forgotten those feelings he had for Bubblegum and Flame Princess a long time ago. Instead, he would try and meditate on the subject and purge like-likeness out of his brain, but with each passing day, like-likeness just kept coming back, stronger and stronger. After a while, he thought about what Jake told him during the Skull Mountain adventure; while he should definitely take some time to think it over, ultimately, he couldn't resist girl-type thoughts, forever, and the more he tried to do so, the more he would become miserable and lash out at the ones he loved.

Finn sighed "What if Jake's right?" Finn asked himself. "What if my 'sometime meter' is already used up and I now I gotta ask Marcy to be my girlfriend?" While part of him relished the chance of holding Marcy in his arms to kiss her, the other part kept reminding him of the screw up he made with Flame Princess, and that his perverted thoughts would eventually lead him to a repeat of that same event, if he acted upon them. Finn teared up at that latter prospect, and despite his primestinctual desires, he continued to resist the temptation. "No!" Finn protested. "I made a promise to myself and Marcy for us to be friend-friends, and I'm gonna stick to it, Grob-doggit! I wanna be the greatest hero and adventurer in all of Ooo, and to do that, I have to keep fighting these girl-type thoughts!" Finn took several heavy breathes, pushing back the thoughts he deemed impure until they were locked up in his-mind jail. With those out of the way, he went into deep meditation, while simultaneously still walking. He had gotten really good at that.

After another half hour, Finn finally reached the tree fort, purged of any thoughts about Marcy, for the time being, while simultaneously eating a sandwich to purge himself of hunger. He hummed to himself with a mouthful of sandwich stuffs as he entered through the door. Inside, Jake was playing B-MO on the couch, looking pretty chill, as usual. "Hey, Jake!" Finn said casually, scarfing up the rest of his sandwich.

Jake turned to meet his brother. "Hey, Finn!" He said excitedly. "Say, you got home a little late." He said, suggestively.

"Yeah," Finn said with a full mouth, without noticing Jake's assumption. He swallowed the last bit of his sandwich. "That battle with the Yankees was a lot more intense than I thought it'd be."

"Yeah, I bet it was 'intense'." Jake said, seeming to press the subject.

"Yeah it was!" Finn said, oblivious to Jake's patronizing. "Me and Marcy had to go 'Super, Awesome Kick-Butt Mode' on those Jaspers!"

"Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm," Jake seemed to only be half paying attention to what Finn was saying. "Then what happened?"

"Then, Marcy put me on a dumb looking Horse," Finn continued. "And then I fought Abe Lincoln's buddy, General Grant, and beat his face into a bloody, pulpy mess!"

"Yeah, yeah. Then what happened?" Jake asked, pressing Finn to tell him the more "interesting" stuff.

"And then we totally won the battle, and now I'm home."

"And then she gave you a smooch, didn't she?!" Jake said, excitedly.

"Smooch?" Finn asked.

"Yeah. I bet she was like…" He took the shape of Marceline. "Oh, Finn, you're so cool and rad and junk that I think you deserve a smooch!" Jake said in a silly, falcetto voice.

"What?!" Finn asked, surprised. "She didn't say that!"

Jake split another body at his side, which took the shape of Finn. "Oh yeah, baby," It said in a deep manly voice. "I think I would appreciate a smooch very, very mooch."

"And I didn't say that either!" Finn said, defensively.

"Okay, Mr. Man," Jake-Marcy said to the Jake-Finn. "Prep the landing pad, 'cuz My lips are coming in for a smooth landin'." It then stretched out its lips and slapped them right onto the cheek of Jake-Finn. "Mmm-Hmm," Jake-Finn said, amorously. "Girl, your lips are like a golden unicorn's locks across the side of an angel's booty."

Finn felt the memory of the kiss Marcy gave him earlier. It did feel nice. Oh no! I'm thinking about her again! "Jake!" Finn shouted. "That's all bing-dingus, and you know it!"

Jake transformed back into his normal self, laughing heartily. "Aw, come off it, bro!" He pointed at Finn all smooth like. "I know you still got the hots for Marcy! It's been obvious for years, now!"

"What?" Finn asked. "No, I don't!"

"Mm-hmm," Jake answered, accusingly. "And Marcy's still got a soft spot for you too." He stretched out his arm and poked Finn in his gut. "Right in that spot where you stash your food items."

Finn smacked his hand away. "For your information, bro, me and Marcy are still just friends!" He folded his arms to reinforce his statement. "We agreed that we would never date each other, and we meant it!"

Jake smiled smugly. "Yeah. But that was when you were just a boy." He gave his arms some muscles. "Now you're maaaaaaan!" His voice went all deep and scratchy, as he started flexing. "Yeah! Huah! Ladies love a man with muskles!"

BMO giggled to himself and/or herself and joined in on the fun "Heehee. Finn's gotta girlfriend. Finn's gotta girlfriend," He/she/it said in a semi sing-song tone. "Next, he'll start to kiss her, and soon they'll truly wed."

"Hahahahaha!" Jake laughed. "Good one, BMO!"

"You stay out of this, BMO!" Finn protested, blushing. "This is between me and Jake!"

"But I haven't finished, yet, Finn!" BMO answered, innocently. Clearing His/her/its throat (or the rough equivalent of a sapient video game's throat, whatever that might be), and continued singing, "And then on their honey moon, he'll let her drive the sled. And then, when the night falls, he'll take her right to…"

"Woah, Woah, BMO!" Jake said, covering BMO's mouth. "That's only something us adults are allowed to say!"

"But I am an adult, Jake," BMO insisted, outstretching an arm with a crudely-made crayon drawing of platypus holding a knife. "I just got a tattoo, the other day. Pretty cool, huh?"

Jake just answered with a raised brow.

"BMO!" shouted Finn, blushing a bright red from both anger and embarrassment. "Go into sleep mode, now!"

At that, BMO powered down, and Jake gasped. "Dude! I didn't save my game! Now I'll have to start all the way back to level nine at the Warlock's patio!"

Finn smiled smugly. "Serves you write for getting into my P-biz!"

Then Jake smiled back. "Oh…so you really do have the hots for Marceline, then?"

Finn scoffed at this. However, he was getting tired of this banter, so he simply laughed Jake off. "You're so full of it, Jake! I'm gonna go to bed, now. Nighters!"

"Alright, dude" Jake said, suggestively. "Sweet dreams, my dude…of smooching Marcy!" he wrapped his arms around himself to simulate a make-out session, making gross kissing noises that caused Finn to cringe in disgust on his way up the ladder to their room.

Finn decided to skip whole "brushing his teeth" part of bed preparation. He was really tired, and was already missing half his teeth, anyway. So he decided to slip into his fuzzy pajamas, wrap up in his sleeping bag, and tried to fall asleep in his bed. "You can do this," He said to himself. "Just don't think about Marcy. Don't think about kissing her, hugging her, or anything that turns her into an object of affection." He took several more breathes and eased his mind once more. Along with meditation, he also used another method to help get to sleep. He thought about all the things that made him happy about his reformation as a hero and an adventure. "Think about saving princesses," He said to himself. "And going on adventures with your bestie, Jake, and, most of all; going into the grasslands for some gold ol' fashion 'Ogre-tipping'." With that final thought, Finn's mind was finally in bliss and cleansed from romantic thoughts. After a few snores, he giggled to himself. "Hee hee. That Ogre poots when he falls down."

Alright, peeps! One more chapter, and we'll have caught up to where we last left on the original draft! Thank you again, to all who have stuck with me, this far!

Fun fact: this chapter came to me in a dream before I actually wrote it, and after two versions of this chapter that I thought were utter crap, I went with this version because I thought it was genious!