Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable characters/content belong to the great Stephanie Meyer.
CHAPTER THREE
The usual nightmares came just as they always did, making sleep damn near impossible for me. When early morning arrived, I grew tired of the constant tossing and turning and eventually gave up, throwing the comforters off me and getting to my feet. I searched through my closet, pulling out a red sweater, brand new from Renee and Black jeans. I really needed to start wearing some of the new clothes she had taken the time to send. I at least owed her that much.
I quickly showered, dressed and headed downstairs to get some coffee. There was a knock at the door just as I finished pouring myself a cup. Who the hell could be knocking at six in the morning? Charlie was still asleep.
I kept my coffee in hand, taking a sip as I hurried to answer it. I was stunned to see Jacob there, all smiles and holding a box of donuts.
"Morning, Bells."
"Wow! You're up early, Jake!" I chuckled, feeling a genuine smile spread across my face for him.
"Well dad needed help with some errands this morning. So I figured I'd come see you."
"Thanks, Jake." I replied, gesturing for him to come in.
We shared breakfast together and I was astonished to see Jake wolf down half a dozen donuts himself. Where the hell his appetite came from still remained a mystery to me. His company was more than welcome though.
"Embry keeps asking to come over. I think he like's you a lot... Maybe a little too much." Jake sighed. I couldn't miss the hint of jealousy I heard in his tone, as I stifled a laugh in response.
"Oh, Well I'm definitely not into dating right now."
It was the only explanation I could come up with. The only one that wouldn't cause the hole that had been punched through me to open back up and consume what was left of me.
Jacob's eyes caught mine as I glanced back up, noticing the bit of longing that crossed his features before he finished his coffee. I suddenly felt a pang of guilt for my blunt reply. Thankfully Jacob kept the conversation light with his warm laughter while we finished the rest of breakfast. He chatted to me about a few cars he was fixing up for a friend of Billy's. I couldn't help but think that someday Jake would probably own his own auto body shop. He certainly had the acquired skills to do so with the friendly personality to match.
"Thanks for breakfast."
"You're more than welcome, Bells." He replied, pulling me into a hug before I slipped on my jacket, already dreading my shift at Newton's and secretly wishing I could spend the day with Jacob. He left soon after and I took off for work.
The shift dragged on and on, making me more than ready come 5 p.m. to head out of there. The rain continued to pour on my way home, leaving me drenched when I came through the front door to see Charlie sitting at the kitchen table, a worried expression on his face. He seemed to be so deep in thought that he barely noticed me when I came in and joined him there. My sudden appearance making him startle when his gaze met mine.
"Bella, can we talk? " He soon asked. I felt my stomach drop and silently prayed that the conversation would have nothing to do with the Cullen's sudden disappearance.
"Sure, Dad." I reluctantly replied, his eyes meeting mine again with sincere worry. My sinking feeling only getting worse by the second, as the momentary awkward silence lingered on between us.
"Are you seeing Jake." He suddenly asked, without beating around the bush any further. Although his face plainly showed how uncomfortable he felt even asking such a question, clearing his throat a few more times while awaiting my answer.
"No...Why?" I replied, running a nervous hand through my hair, as he glanced over at me.
"Well, I just talked to Billy, and he mentioned to me how Jake has been really happy lately, seeming to turn a corner. He mentioned you two spending a lot of time together."
I nodded in agreement, not seeing what the big deal was.
"Look Bella ... honey, you just barely pulled yourself back together in the last couple of weeks, and that make's me so happy, it really does, but do you think it's a great idea to be starting a new relationship so fast?"
I coughed aloud at the word relationship he so flippantly used. "Dad, Jacob and I- are just friends. He's become one of my best friends." I replied, feeling myself blush and now matching my fathers shade of crimson.
"Okay, well I was gonna say if you were choosing to start a relationship, I couldn't think of anyone I trusted more than Jacob. I just don't want you to rush it. He's a good guy, Bells, a real good guy. I mean, yes he's young, and he's grown at least 6 inches over the Summer. He's grown a lot more than in just height now that I think about it-." Charlie shook his head, pausing before addressing me further. "Yeah, but anyways, I just wanted to know, is all. Glad we got that all cleared up." He patted me on the shoulder and stood with those last words, kissing me on the top of the head before leaving. "I won't be home till the morning. Got to work another shift. You lock the doors before you go to bed, okay?"
I nodded, knowing that my only true threat wouldn't be kept away with a useless deadbolt. She'd just kick it in and find me. I shuddered as I thought of Victoria. My dad thankfully didn't seem to notice though, as he went on his way to work, locking the door behind him with his key.
I was in for another long night. Lucky for me, I had a lot of homework that needed to get done. If I was going to be away at the bonfire with Jake tomorrow night, I needed to get this paper done, so it would be ready for Monday's class. I dug out my books and got busy.
A few hours passed before It was becoming increasingly difficult for me to concentrate. My mind kept wandering to Jacob, and what my dad had said... "Relationship" Another burst of pain came to my chest at the reminder of who I had last given myself to.
No. Never again. No way.
Love seemed to be the scariest thing in the world to me now. To be so willing to give all of who you are to another, and hope that they don't break you into a million jagged pieces in the end, was something I had been foolish enough to do once. Just the thought of doing that again brought the threat of unshed tears to my eyes.
I thought of how Jake had been there for me last night, having heavy guilt over the fact that I may never be able to truly return his affection. I knew Jacob cared for me. It was evident to see in the way he was with me. The way he treated me.
He had mentioned a few times, that a couple girls from the reservation had asked him out but that he had politely turned them down. Each time I would ask him why, he would always smile at me and say. "They're just not my type."
I had even gone as far as to ask him one day what exactly his type was. Only for him to smile at me in return, and casually change the subject on me. I was ashamed to admit my jealousy upon hearing it, feeling ridiculous.
Jacob was free to date whoever the hell he damn well pleased. I certainly had no claim over him. Surely not.
After hours of trying to concentrate on my nearly half written English paper, I gave up, simply tucking it into the crease of my book, and packing them away in my bag. I did a few small chores around the house for Charlie, wanting to keep myself busy and knowing he would be exhausted when he got home in the morning. I spent about an hour cleaning and doing laundry, before I headed off for bed, my eyes heavy with the sleep I needed, but would not get tonight.
The rain started to pick up, and the wind howled furiously outside my window as turned off my lamp, leaving just the t.v. on. I laid down, watching a movie and waiting for sleep to come to me. Just as I was about out, everthing in the house shut off. Leaving me in the pitch dark. I sat up, reaching over on my nightstand for my cell phone and using it as a flash light to see. We had lost power... great.
I went downstairs in search for candles and finding only three, but they were brand new so they would burn for a while if needed. I lit the candles, and listened as the screen door banged loudly up against the house. It scared me, causing me to almost drop the candle I was holding. My cell phone rang, startling me again as I glanced down to see it was Charlie and hurriedly answering it.
"Hey, Dad-."
"Hey kiddo. We all lost power here at the station. Everyone says its the storm. Winds are real bad. I guess it knocked out all of La' Push too. Billy, he just called and said Jake was on his way to check on you. Just wanted you to know he would be stopping by." I could tell by my dads tone that he was far from comfortable with the idea of me being here alone with Jacob. In the dark no less. I couldn't help but almost laugh, but thought better of it.
"Okay. Well, everything is fine. I lit some candles and luckily did some housework before the storm hit. Did laundry too. So I'll just read with a flashlight till it comes back on."
My dad sighed heavily into the phone." Thanks Bella. You didn't have to do the housework, bit I really appreciate it. "
"It's okay, dad. I don't mind, really."
"Okay. I will see you in the morning. Call me if you need anything later."
"Okay, love you."
"Love you too, Kiddo." I heard him say before I ended the call.
I wouldn't admit it to Charlie, but I was a bit relieved to know Jake would be here for a while. The wind blew the trees and they swayed relentlessly, as I watched them from the living room windows. I sat down on the couch, and started to read Withering Heights for the fourth time. For some reason I could read this book ten times and not tire of it.
I was about a chapter in when there was a knock at the door. I knew it was Jake, and got up quickly from the couch to answer it. He stood drenched on the porch as the rain fell heavily around him.
"Sorry, Bells. I'm soaked." He chuckled, looking down towards the growing puddle at his feet in the entry way when I ushered him inside.
"It's okay." I meekly replied, trying to formulate anything more, as I stood there looking at him. His black T- Shirt clung to him, making the prominent muscles of his chest stand out. Water ran down his face and neck and I struggled to take my eyes off him.
"Bells..." He said, meeting my gaze and seeing me shamelessly ogle at him. A deep blush set into my cheeks, as I quickly got a towel, willing my feet to move and wiping all the water up.
"Jake you must be freezing!"
"No. I'm okay." He replied, as I shook my head in disbelief.
He was soaked to the bone and needed some dry clothes or I was convinced he would catch his death. I hurried to find one of Charlie's old flannel shirts and a pair of his sweats, bringing them out to Jacob with a sigh. "Here you go. It's the best I can do."
He took them with a smile and started to remove his soaked T- Shirt. Stripping it off in one smooth, quick movement and handing it to me. "Thanks, Bells!"
All I could do was nod, words of all form left me entirely while I watched him put the shamy on. It was a size big for Charlie, but Jacob filled it out well. I tossed his soaked shirt in the dryer, and jumped about six feet as I turned around to get his jeans, nearly colliding with him. He chuckled, reaching for me and steadying me back on my feet again.
"Sorry, Bells. Here...-Thanks for the clothes."
"You're welcome." I replied, feeling Jacobs hands still on my arms. Even though he had just been drenched to the bone with the cold rain, he was still so warm. I cleared my throat, sensing the uneasy feeling in my stomach again, as I moved out of his grasp and went into the kitchen.
"You want something to eat or coffee?"
"Sure, I'll take some coffee. Thanks, Bells."
I poured him a cup and was thankful it was still warm from the pot.
"You didn't have to come all the way over here"
"I know. I just know how you're not a big fan of being alone at night, especially with no power and all." He replied, meeting my gaze. I couldn't help but stare at him, but Jake was kind enough to pretend he didn't notice my awkwardness. We were soon sitting on the couch together, leaving room enough for another person to fit in between us. I bit my lip, silently contemplating scooting over next to him when the wind caught the screen door again, ripping it violently open and smashing it against the house with a loud bang. I scrambled over next to Jake in an instant, before I could even debate it any further. He laughed his hearty laugh, and wrappedd an arm around me as I nestled into his side.
"I'm glad you're here." I admitted to him in a low whisper.
"Me too..." He whispered back. My eyes were heavy with sleep as I laid my head on Jake's shoulder. "Tired, Bells?"
I nodded in response and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep in minutes.
The dark forest was endless. I walked in circles, searching for Edward. But never finding him. Fear gripped me as I saw her. The red head I feared so much... Victoria. She stood suddenly in front of me, and reached her hand out to mine. I ran from her but she caught up with me effortlessly, grabbing me by the hair, and throwing me down to the forest floor. I looked up at her, seeing the red in her hungry eyes. I knew I was dead. She yanked me to my feet, and whispered in my ear.
"Since, Dear Edward left you here. And he is no longer your mate. I'll take what means the most to you now, Isabella."
She whirled around and darted into the forest so fast my eyes could not follow. She returned moments later, pulling someone behind her. My eye's struggled to see who it was. Panic ran through me at the possibilities. She stopped, and smiled wickedly, pulling a tall figure in front of her, and pushing them down to their knee's. I felt my heart nearly stop when I saw who she had in her grasp. He looked up at me. His deep brown eyes locking with my own.
Jacob... No...
"No!" I screamed, begging her not to kill him. She sank her fangs into Jake's neck as he screamed out in pain. The venom coursing through his very veins in front of me. He screamed out in agony there on the forest floor. "Jacob! No! " I screamed at her again, seeing his pain.
Warmth pulled at me, trying to make me surface out of my own personal hell. I fought it, till I heard his voice.
"Bella... Bells- Bells- Wake up-... hey." I felt warmth enclose me, sheltering me from the cold. The bone cold I always felt. My eyes flew open to see Jacob looking down at me with intense worry. I looked up into his eyes, and sat up on the couch, moving away from him. I was ashamed that he had seen me like this. Now he knew how truly screwed up I was.
My breathing came in gasps, as Jacob moved over next to me, putting a comforting arm around my shoulders. "You okay?" He whispered.
I couldn't bring myself to look at him. This would surely make him run like hell from the mess that I was. Not that I could blame him if he chose to do so.
"No. No... I'm not-." I stood up, walking into the kitchen and away from him with shame. He followed me almost immediately. I leaned my back against the counter, crossing my arms in front of me and choosing to be boldly honest with him.
"You should get going, Jake." I said softly, not wanting him to leave, but not wanting him to see me like this. It was bad enough that poor Charlie had been subjected to my misery all these weeks, let alone Jacob. It wouldn't be fair.
Jacob shook his head, staying silent for a few seconds, as he walked up to me. He stopped a few inches from my face and leaned in close to me.
"Why do you do that, Bells? You try to push people away. Why?"
I swallowed even harder, knowing that he spoke the truth. I closed my eyes, reflecting on the last time I had truly let someone in, look how well that had turned out. I shuddered, wrapping my arms around myself. "Cause it's easier. Look Jake...it's okay. You'd be better off." I choked on the last word. Hating how weak and small this made me.
I felt his hand touch my arm, turning me to face him. I reluctantly turned and met his gaze, his dark eyes searching my own.
"No." He whispered to me."You expect that of me because of what he did, but Bella I'm not going anywhere."
I didn't care that my stomach churned, or that the right thing to do would be to let him go right now. I wrapped my arms around Jake's neck and held him close to me. I felt him wrap me in his arms in response and I basked in the safety of them.
"Please, don't push me away, Bells." He whispered, tightening his grip on me. My heart ached at his plea. That was the last thing I wanted to do, but there was part of me that was not ready to completely open up to him yet. I was terrified because of what had happened the last time I gave myself to another.
The power suddenly came back on. All the lights turning on at once. I stayed in his warm arms for minutes. Not wanting to let go of his warmth. Jake made me better. So much better.
The phone suddenly ran and I broke our embrace to answer it. It was Charlie just checking in. I told him the power was back on, and that Jake had stayed with me. He seemed okay with it for now. Jake gave me a worried look as I hung up with Charlie.
"I didn't get you in trouble did I?"
"No, it's fine. He knew you were dropping by." I replied.
Technically I was Eighteen, free to do as I please. But this was my father's house, and I respected him and his rules, even if they were overbearing sometime's. It was a small price to pay for how good he had been to me.
"I hate to leave you, but I told my dad I'd be back as soon as the power came on...So.-" He sighed to me.
"Okay. Thank you... um- we're still on for tomorrow night though, right?
"Yeah. Absolutely! I'll be here at Seven to pick you up."
"Okay." I replied, walking him to the door. He smiled at me, and pulled me into one of his warm hugs.
"I'll see you then, Bells." He said, releasing me and turning to head out to his car.
I watched him drive away, and turned off my porch light, locking the door behind me. I took some time to reset all the clocks in the house, before finally heading to bed.
It seemed like I had barely closed my eyes before I awoke to the familiar sound of my blaring alarm the next morning. I threw the covers over my head with an exasperated moan, wishing the day would simply go on without me. After hitting the snooze repeatedly, I finally forced myself out of bed and got ready for my shift at Newtons. School was on Monday. Back to normal classes after an extended break, because of some repairs the school had been making. Charlie mentioned something about new technology and paint or something like that, anyways.
I left a note for Charlie saying I would be at the bonfire with Jake later, but I'd be home at five-thirty from my shift and I'd see him then. I laid it on the kitchen table before I headed to work.
The rain had stopped, leaving everything freezing cold and wet. I thought of Jacob as I drove to work. Being with him made me happy really happy and I genuinely enjoyed spending my time with him. There was just something about the way he was with me, the way we were together, that caused a small ray of hope to beam in my shattered heart, telling me that I would be okay. I knew better than to get my hopes up that this could possibly be true, that after weeks of feeling like a half empty shell of a person, life could be so kind as to simply hand me a gem like Jacob.
The shift at Newton's flew by. We were very busy. I barely had time to take a few breaks before the day was over. It was time to go home before I knew it. I was actually excited to go to the bonfire tonight. It would be a nice change for me. And truth be told, I missed Jacob already.
I drove home in a bit of a hurry. I only had an hour before Jake would be over to pick me up. I pulled into my driveway in a rush, jumping out of my truck, up the porch steps, before flying in through the house.
"Where's the fire?" Charlie asked, bringing me up short just as I had graced the first few stairs, heading for my room.
"Sorry dad." I laughed, quickly leaning over the railing and kissing his cheek."Gotta get ready. Jake will be here in an hour!" I heard him chuckle again as I ran the rest of the way up the stairs.
I desperately searched my closet, finding a cream colored sweater I had only worn once since Renee sent it to me. I searched for jeans finding a pair of black ones hanging in the back of my closet with the tags still attached. I shook my head. I really did need to thank Renee more often for all the clothe's she bought me.
I quickly showered and then dressed, staring at my reflection in the mirror debating on whether I should wear some lip gloss, and maybe a bit of mascara. I decided it would be a good idea, and coated my lashes with a few thin coats of mascara accentuating my already long lashes all the more. I applied some lip gloss to my lips and quickly blow dried my hair, noticing it was getting longer these past few months. When I was finished, I looked back in the mirror again, Feeling satisfied at what I saw.
I went back to my room, searching for shoes It was a bonfire so I chose my black sneakers.. I slipped them on and grabbed my jacket, heading back down stairs and glancing at the clock on the stove in the kitchen, seeing I had ten minutes to spare.
Charlie stopped where he was in the kitchen when I walked in. Looking a bit awe struck as he took in my appearance. " Bella... honey- you look... wonderful... beautiful!" I blushed and thanked him. It had been a while since I had really been excited to go out. He saw that and smiled at me in return.
"You'll be home later? What time?" He asked me, clearing his throat.
"Probably late, dad. Jake said these go for a while. You know, you could come? Billy will be there." I offered.
Charlie chuckled in response. "Nah, I'm good here. Gonna sleep tonight. Really beat from all the double shifts."
I nodded, seeing how tired he was. "Okay. I'll call you when I leave later."
"Okay, honey. Have a good time with Jake." He said with a genuine smile. There was a knock at the front door just then. I looked at Charlie, nervously zipping up my Jacket.
"Love you, dad." I replied, heading for the door. I took a deep steadying breath, my hand lingering on the door knob for a moment before opening it to see Jacob standing there all smiles.
"Hey Bells!" He paused, stopping and looking me over. My blush deepened to a scarlet red as his dark eye's wandered over me. Jacob had on a long sleeve black shirt, and dark denim jeans. He looked handsome as hell. Butterflies once again swarmed through my stomach, making my head spin a bit, and my breathing become shallow.
"Ready?" I asked, trying to move us along before Charlie could ask us all sorts of questions. Jacob nodded, and we walked to his car. I felt his arm brush up against mine as we headed out. Tingles running down my arm from the feel of it. He opened the door for me like a gentlemen, and I couldn't help but shake my head and smile at him. He quickly got in the drivers side, starting the car and smiling warmly over at me.
"Warm enough?" Jake asked me half way there. I nodded, and reached to turn off the heat at the same time he did. Our hands touching. I pulled my hand back, feeling my overwhelming nerves get the best of me and remembering who held my hand last. No... I wasn't going to let this night be spoiled by my memories of... him. I shook it off, and went forward determined to be in the present with Jacob, and enjoy this night.
We arrived there soon, parking at first beach, where the bonfire was already well under way. Jacob got out of his car, and walked around opening my door for me.
"Thanks for coming with me, Bells. You look beautiful tonight, by the way." He said shutting my door, as we started to walk toward the beach and about the thirty plus people that were already there.
"Thanks." I replied, seeing Quil, Embry, and Billy. They all smiled and waved at me. The rest though I didn't recognize.
Jacob kindly introduced me to each of them as we made our way around. I met Sam, a rather tall and large man. He was built much like Jacob but not as muscular, and a bit older. I was struck back in awe by how similar they all were. They could have been easily mistaken for brothers, Sam being the oldest of them.
There was plenty of food, and friendly conversation. Everyone was invited. Jake also introduced me to Seth, Leah, Sue, and Harry Clearwater. I recognized Harry. He had been friends with my dad for a long time now. He and Billy would often meet up with Harry for the games, and for Harry's famous fish fry that Charlie bragged about all the time. I had only seen him a few times Since I had been back to Forks when Charlie would go fishing with him. He was very nice. They all were. Leah was tall, lean, and strikingly beautiful as well. Her long, straight jet black hair fell softly around her shoulders, and down her back. Her lips were full and red, and adorned by a set of beautiful, straight, white teeth. She smiled warmly at me, reaching out to shake my hand. "Hi Bella. I'm Leah." She said, I took her hand in mine, and smiled back at her. I couldn't help but notice there was some sort of awkward tension between her and Sam Uley. I wasn't sure why, but it was evidently there.
There was enough food there to feed an army... literally. Jacob fixed me a small plate, handing it to me with a smile. "Please." He asked me, knowing I probably wouldn't touch it. To my surprise, I was actually hungry. I took it from him.
"For you- okay." I said, smiling a bit in return. He gave me a wink before fixing himself a plate. We sat down together next to Sam, Quil, and Embry on one of the few pieces of driftwood they kept along the beach for such events as these.
It was very comfortable and for once I felt like I fit in. Unlike when I was with the Cullen's. I shook off the thought, and settled in comfortably next to Jacob. Billy wheeled over next to me.
"Having a good time, Bella?" He asked, wearing his usual welcoming smile.
"Yes, I'm really glad Jake invited me."
Billy nodded with a smile to Jacob, seeming to see I was genuinely happy to be here tonight.
I ate almost half of my plate, which was better then I had done in a while. I usually only managed to take a few bites, and then would leave the rest untouched. Jacob ate all of his food, and I watched in amazement as Embry and Quil ate four hotdogs and two hamburgers each. I looked at Embry with a shocked expression.
"What?!" He chuckled. "I'm a growing boy!." I burst out laughing with him and Jacob.
"I'd say!" I managed between my bouts of laughter. Quil laughed right along with us, and grabbed yet another hot dog. Shoving most of it in his mouth in a few bites. I couldn't help but laugh still at his bemused expression.
Seth came up behind Jacob suddenly then, trying to catch a football that he and Paul were tossing back and forth. Jacob caught it with ease in his left hand and handed it back to Seth.
"Thanks, Jake!" He said, glancing over at me with a wide smile.
An eldery man, with long hair in a low ponytail, cleared his throat. Silencing everyone in a few short seconds.
"Story Time." Seth whispered, taking a seat on the other side of me. Everyone hushed and looked at The man sitting in the middle by the bonfire. He looked to be about sixty - five years old. He wore the same complection as all the others, a russet colored skin tone. Although I noticed his skin was a shade darker than Jacob's. He looked over to Billy, and then to me. He kept his eyes on me for a few short seconds before returning his gaze to Billy, giving him a small nod. Billy returned the nod, and the elder began to speak.
He told stories of tribal legends. They were very interesting, and I was hooked on them. Fascinated, with as much of an awe struck look on my face as all the others that were there. He spoke of how centuries ago, their ancestors came across the ..."Cold One's."
My mind immediately went back to the long walk on the beach I had taken many months ago with a younger Jacob. How he had also told me about the stories, when I asked him about the Cullen's. How true it all turned out to be. I glanced down at the white sand beneath my feet feeling a shudder run through me. Jacob moved closer to me, and placed his warm hand on my leg, giving it a small reassuring squeeze. I lifted my head to see his eyes meet mine, silently asking me if I was okay. I nodded to him, and turned my attention back to the stories the elder spoke of with great interest. The stories lasted for over an hour, and when he finished, you could have heard a pin drop. There was no sound, but the waves and the crackling from the fire he sat next to. He gave everyone a big smile, saying. "That's all till next year."
Everyone went back to talking, and eating, like he had just dismissed a big meeting or something.
I stared into the fire. Concentrating on the huge flames that roared up from it. I thought on his every word. The Cold One's. Images of Edward's face flashed clearly in my mind. I closed my eyes, and quickly opened them, trying to forget it all. I didn't want to think about him in fear the pain would come back and crush me.
Everyone scattered off to different places along the beach, leaving me and Jacob there on the piece of driftwood. I couldn't take my eyes from the fire. It was mesmerizing. I remembered all the Elder had said.
Jacob wrapped an arm around my shoulders, breaking me out of my train of thought. I tore my eyes from the fire and glanced up at him, seeing the concern there. "Thank you. For bringing me."
"I wanted you here." He replied.
A football suddenly came flying, landing right next to Jake's feet in the white sand. Paul's loud voice hollered to him. "Hey Bro! Come on, play one with us." Jacob picked up the football, looking over at me. I nodded and smiled at him.
"You sure?" He asked, searching my face for a brief second.
"Yeah! Go!" I insisted. He nodded in reply, and took off running behind me for the football game. I turned to watch him. He threw the football with great force at Paul, it landed in Paul's large hands perfectly. It was a long throw... way long. I shook my head, as I sat there, watching them. He was incredibly strong. I was smiling so much at him that my cheeks actually hurt. It was a rather odd feeling considering I had not smiled like this in a long time. Whenever I was around Jake, I couldn't seem to keep the smile off my face. It was not lost on me that he brought this out in me.
Leah came over, sitting next to me, watching them play as well, offering me a genuine smile when she sat down. "So - you and Jacob?" She asked innocently, with a slight nod in Jake's direction. I watched him intently as he laughed at Paul cussing, pissed off that Jake's team had scored on them. Jacob's whole face lit up with his laugh. He glanced over my way, his eyes catching mine. I smiled brightly at him, seeing him so happy, before turning my attention to Leah.
"Um... No-" I replied softly, glancing over at her. She really was strikingly beautiful. She nodded, and turned her attention back to the boy's. I looked at her feeling a bit of panick, as a thought came to my mind suddenly, it twisted uneasily in my stomach. Could she be interested in Jake? I knew the answer, of course she could. Anyone could... You'd have to be blind, and a fool not to be. I mean just look at him. There was so much more to him though than just his looks. While I must admit he was strikingly handsome. His sweet personality, and caring nature made him all that much more of a catch. He was Jacob. My heart picked up in pace, as I looked back at him engrossed in the football game.
"Why-" I asked softly. Unsure if I really wanted to know the answer. "Are you?"
Leah looked over at me with a chuckle. "Me!?... Hahahaha. Me?... No! No way." She laughed aloud.
I was thoroughly confused by her reaction. She stopped laughing, seeing my look of confusion.
"Oh, let me clarify. Don't get me wrong, Bella. They are all really good looking, especially Jake. He's good people, you know, but no. I in no way have anything for him romantically. Besides..." She glanced at me."He's already way spoken for if you know what I mean?" Her eyes locking with mine. I had to look away, as I felt the weight of her words, and knew exactly what she meant of course. Jacob's laughter came from behind us, and it made my guilt that much worse. I glanced back at him again.
"Can I say something?" She asked. I simply nodded, keeping my eyes on Jacob .
"If you're not... you know... interested then you should really rethink your friendship. Cause as I said before, Bella... Jake's rare, he's good people. Like... restore your faith in the opposite sex and humanity good people. And he's got a good heart. Guys like that are a rare and dying breed..." She suddenly got very quiet, looking down at her hands in her lap... "Just... don't Jerk him around, okay? Anyways... it was really nice to meet you. You're as lovely as Jake says you are. Come hang out again, soon okay?"
I smiled and nodded, watching her walk away. She stopped, and glanced back at the guys, her eyes falling on Sam Uley. He also stopped and looked at her, before shaking his head and returning his attention to the game. There was clearly something there or at least here used to be at one time. You could almost feel it whenever they were near each other.
I turned around, looking at the fire and wrapping my arms around my stomach. "Don't Jerk him around." Leah's words in my head, repeating over and over again. Is that what I was doing? A huge wave of guilt came crashing over me as I stared out at the ocean ahead. God, I really was a horrible person if that's what I was doing.
I suddenly felt Jacob come up from behind me, wrapping both arms around my shoulders, and pressing his warm cheek to mine. I gasped, jumping a bit from the contact. "What are you thinking about over here, Bells... hmmm?" He asked me. I thanked my lucky stars that my thoughts were my own.
"Oh." I chuckled."Nothing."
"You ready to head home, honey? " He asked, removing his arms from me, as I turned to face him. The light from the fire lit up his handsome face, taking my breath away and leaving me fumbling for words. I managed a small nod, not oblivious to the fact that he had called me honey. Something about the adoration in his tone when he said it, had certainly caught my attention.
"Okay. Let's go." He reached for my hands, taking them in his and pulling me to my feet from the driftwood.
We walked together back to his car, saying our many goodbye's, and thank you's to everyone. I heard Embry call out after me. "Bella! Don't be a stranger, hun!" I smiled at him and waved, feeling great to have them actually want me back again.
We were almost off the sand and into the paved parking lot when I tripped over a small rock I hadn't noticed in the sand beneath me. Jacob caught me, wrapping his arms around my waist and managing to pull me back a bit before I could fall to the ground.
"I got you." He chuckled.
I shook my head, and laughed at my utter lack of any grace and my obvious two left feet. We continued to laugh for a few more moments before I stopped, glancing down to notice Jacobs arms still around my waist, holding me to him. I bit my bottom lip from the nerves that suddenly surrounded me. I was frustrated with myself. Why was this so damn hard for me? I sighed, leaning my head back against Jacob's chest as the wind blew around us. I could feel his chest pressed into my back, sending a wave of comfort to me, but no matter how hard I tried to calm my nerves, they overwhelmed we still. I reluctantly pulled away from him, feeling him reluctantly release me. We walked the rest of the way to the car, and I thankfully managed not to trip and make an utter fool out of myself anymore. Tonight at least.
Leah's words still fresh on my mind, as we headed for Forks. I stared out the window, feeling my heart break a bit more, if that was even possible, as I thought of what she said. I knew she didn't mean anything by it, she was just looking out for her friend, after all. I couldn't blame her for that.
Jacob seemed to notice my quietness on the ride home. He turned the radio down, and glanced over my way. "You okay?"
"Yeah. I had a great time. Thank you, again for bringing me."
"I saw Leah talking to you. She's been through a lot. It's good she opened up to you for a bit." He replied, as we hit the highway.
"What? What happened?" I asked him.
"She and Sam Uley were practically engaged last year but then Sam left her for her cousin Emily last Spring. Just like that. It shocked a lot of us. We still don't know what to think of it, really. It tore Leah in half. Ripped her whole world apart."
My heart broke for her. I knew all too well what heartache felt like. How torturous it could be. I swallowed hard. "Why would he do something like that? That's just... cruel."
Jacob nodded. "Yeah, I know. Sam and I are not really friends. He and Quil have been chumming around a lot lately. He used to make fun of him and Paul, and Jared." He laughed but then got suddenly serious again... "Now he's with them a lot. It's really weird."
I could see the worry on Jake's face, and I didn't like it. This really bothered him. Something didn't set well with me as he spoke about it.
"Have you talked to him?" I asked.
Jacob shook his head, keeping his eyes on the road. "No... We've tried, but he avoids us a lot now. He missed some school, like four days, then came back stuck to Sam and the rest of their gang like glue. Sam keep's giving me this look. Like he's waiting for me. Watching me or something. Really Starting to freak me out." He stated, worry clear in his voice now.
"What would he want with you, anyway? You should just ignore him, Jake. I'm sure in time he'll find someone else to bother." I stated with an edge to my normally calm tone. I didn't like the nervousness in Jake's voice when he spoke of Sam. Something about the whole thing seemed to rub me the wrong way. The thought of anyone making Jake feel this uncomfortable had me borderline angry. The heat of my anger flaring up in my cheeks a bit before coiling itself down into my stomach.
Jacob looked over at me as he cut the engine now in my driveway. "I try." He said in a tone just above a whisper, eyes still full of uncertainty as he got out and opened my door for me. I got out to meet him there and shut the car door, seeing his eyes become unreadable in the moment. He leaned against the car, and I took a small step closer to him.
"Jake, you can tell me. You know, if there's anything else going on?"
"I know. I just don't know what to think. Quil and I have been best friends since I was like three. And he's just different now." He sighed heavily, with a shake of his head.
We walked toward my door slowly. My mind trying to process what could possibly be going on with Sam Uley. I felt Jacobs hand reach for mine, taking it in his, and lacing our fingers together. Warmth spread up my arm from the contact, causing an invasion of butterflies, and my cheeks to flush a shade of crimson red. My heart beat rapidly as we reached the steps. I stopped short, looking down at my hand in his, before slowly pulling it away and feeling immediately horrible for doing so.
"What- I can't hold your hand?" He asked me softly.
I tried to think of what to say without hurting him. That was the last thing I wanted to do. I sat down on my steps, and Jacob sat down next to me. A look of genuine worry crossing his features now. I hated myself for placing it there.
"No of course you can. I just- " I paused, unable to finish as I slowly felt the hole within my chest begin to fester again. The edges of it raw and angry.
I forced myself to meet his gaze and was met with understanding, and not sadness when I did. Relief temporarily flooded through me as Jacob's warm brown eyes met my own.
"It's okay, Bells. You did just tell me that you think I'm sort of... beautiful? A guy shouldn't push his luck, right?" He chuckled, the sound heavenly to me. I couldn't contain the small laugh that escaped me at the memory of me saying that to him. Another blush creeping up on my cheeks.
Our laughter soon faded out between us and the silence that lingered became deafening. I felt ridiculous and so foolish for allowing the smallest affectionate gesture from him, send me into a nervous mess. Allowing my old wounds to rear their ugly head and spoil the moment.
"I'm sorry." I admitted, laying my head on his shoulder and feeling like I was being strangled again with my own words.
"Don't be, honey. It's okay."
Jacob fell silent for a bit, causing the knots to grow larger in my stomach and forcing me to eventually lift my head and look up at him.
"It's because of him though, right?" He asked in a low tone.
Pain ripped through me like a knife and I simply managed a nod to him in reply. Forcing myself to say something, "Jake... I'm not... I mean I can't... it's just -" I stopped abruptly when I felt his hand reach up and tuck a lock of hair that had blown in my face behind my ear. His eyes meeting mine again.
"Don't worry about it. I understand."
"You do?" I whispered in reply.
Jacob nodded, keeping his eyes on me. "I'll wait. I've got plenty of time for you, Bella." He whispered in a tone that made my heart ache, because I knew I could not return his feelings right now, even if I wanted to.
"I know he hurt you. And I would never do that. I won't ever hurt you, Bella. I promise you."
I felt the tears form in my eyes at his words. I didn't want to push him away. That was the very last thing I wanted to do.
"I believe you." I breathed to him in reply. The words leaving my mouth before I could think better to stop them.
In my heart I knew he would never hurt me. I knew with one look into his dark brown eyes, that he would never leave me. I knew I could trust him, like I had never trusted anyone before.
The front door flew open behind us, and I quickly moved over a bit from him as Charlie stepped out.
"Hey kids. Have a nice time?" He asked, clearing his throat. It couldn't have been worse timing, or more awkward.
Jacob stood up and shook my dad's hand. "Thanks Charlie, for letting me take her out. Hope I didn't get her back home too late." He offered with a genuine smile
"No. She's all good. Well I guess I'll be off to bed now. See ya in the morning, Bella. Goodnight, Jake."
Charlie was gone in a second, seeming to be just as uncomfortable as I was with the situation.
Jacob looked down at the ground, staring there intensely. seeming to fixate on something. I worried that what I had said had hurt him, or upset him more than he had let on. My stomach grew uneasy at the thought. I took a small step toward him, as he kept his eyes fixed on the ground. Like he was lost in deep thought.
"Thank you for everything. I really had a good time tonight. " I smiled at him. He slowly glanced back up at me, and he looked... not well. He appeared to be sick suddenly. I was taken back a bit by his sudden change in demeanor. " Jake... " I reached for his arm, touching it slightly. He felt warm. He was always warm, but this was too warm for even him. "I'm sorry if what I said... upset you."
"It's okay. Look I uh- gotta go" He said in an urgent, distant whisper.
"Are you okay? You feel really warm to me. Do you have a fever or something? The flu is going around. You could come inside for a while if you want?" I asked, slowly releasing his arm, and letting my hand fall.
"No I'm- I don't know, Bella. I'll talk to you later." He raised his head, eyes meeting mine once more, before he ran to his car and took off in a hurry.
I watched him as he disappeared from my sight. He had left so suddenly, and it was so out of character for Jake. Worry pierced its ugly way through me, as I thought of what I had just said to him. Maybe it was too much. Maybe pulling away like that had hurt him worse than I thought? Maybe he could now see how truly screwed up I was and he was taking off before things got too involved? Then again... that didn't even sound like him. I knew him better than that. Or at least I hoped I did.
Dread started to sink in as I walked into the house and hung up my coat, sitting down on the couch and coming to the sad realization that he had finally seen me for who I really was... selfish and weak. Maybe he really was running from the mess I had become. I sure as hell wouldn't blame him for doing so.
I wrapped my arms around my mid section, feeling more ripping apart pain at the thought. The truth was, I didn't know what I would do without Jacob.