Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable characters/content are the sole property of the great Stephanie Meyer.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and review. They all make me smile! Thanks SO much :)

Chapter Four

I laid in bed, listening to the wind howl outside, my mind full with thoughts of Jacob and how he had left so suddenly earlier. More dread sank in upon thinking about him. What had I done?... What Had I done?

My regret loomed over me as I laid back down, curling up into the purple comforter. I closed my eyes, wishing for sleep, but it never came for me that night. Everytime I closed my eyes, I would dream, new dreams this time. I dreamt of Jacob. Every dream would end the same way with him being taken away from me, somehow.

When dawn came, I gave up on getting any sleep, and settled for working on my paper due Monday. The rain poured in buckets, as I stared out the window, losing my train of thought and endlessly fiddling with my ball point pen, wishing that the damn paper would just write itself.

The morning turned into the afternoon, with me still sitting at my computer desk with barely a paragraph written. I angrily ripped up my sloppy sixth rough draft and threw it to the floor, adding it to the small pile I had created there. Normally, I wouldn't have had such a foul disposition toward my studies, but as of right now, I could care less about finishing this paper. I sighed and threw my notebook and pen on my unmade bed, seeing my phone still laying there and taking it in my hands.

I glanced down at the lit up home screen, debating on calling him again. My head telling me to wait but my heart telling me otherwise. Telling my head to go to hell, I decided to send Jake a text message in hopes to hear something from him. Anything was better than this silence.

I kept the message short and brief and to the point. Simply asking him if he was okay and to please call me when he got my message.

I grudgingly picked up my notebook and pen, getting back to my paper. I worked diligently on my paper for most of the afternoon and into the evening. Patiently waiting for a reply from Jake, but it never came. By dinner time, I was so distracted that I burned the chicken casserole I had been planning on serving for dinner. Charlie simply laughed it off and settled on ordering a large pizza. I was fine with that, considering I had next to no appetite.

It wasn't like Jacob to not call or reply to me. He always did. The night went on, and soon it was 8 p.m. I looked at my phone for the twentieth time. Still nothing. No reply to my text, and no missed call from him. Growing a bit desperate, I called him again. This time it went straight to his voicemail..."Hey... you've reached Jake. I'm not in right now. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you..."

I hung up before hearing the beep. The sound of his voice making me miss him more and more. My anxiety grew to a new level as realization struck me hard. I knew he was done. I knew he was through with me. Through with the mess I was. The hot tears ran unabated down my face, knowing I had pushed him away. The very same way he himself had pleaded with me not to do just days ago. I was truly my own worst enemy at this point. I leaned against the kitchen counter for support, feeling the inevitable pain that I had been shielded from for weeks now, catch up with me hastily.

"Bella what's wrong? Everything ok?" I heard Charlie ask from behind me.

I nodded, quickly wiping the tears. "Uh-yeah dad..I'm fine."

"Sure?

"Yeah, I'm sure. Sorry about dinner."

"Oh, don't worry about that. No big deal, honey... really."

"I'll be down in a minute." I told him, so he wouldn't linger any longer, fearing I would lose it in front of him. He would be upset with Jake, and I didn't want that either. This wasn't Jacob's fault . It was mine. Charlie left and thankfully went back into the living room.

I debated on going to see Jake, even though it was late, to tell him how sorry I was in person. I didn't blame him for not taking my calls... Hell... I wouldn't either. I hadn't called the house phone. Maybe something happened to his cell. That would be a pefectly logical explanation. I dialed Billy. He picked up after only three short rings.

"Hello... Black Residence..."

"Hi... Hi Billy, it's Bella. Um- listen I'm sorry to call , but... I was just wondering if Jake was around?"

Billy paused for a long moment before responding. "He's- not in right now. Can I take a message Bella?"

My heart sank. "No... um-just please tell him I called, I guess... Thanks Billy."

"Sure thing, Bella. " He said, before quickly hanging up. I stared down at my phone, knowing that he was avoiding me.

I walked back downstairs, to at least spend some time with Charlie. He was eating dinner in his recliner, watching another game.

"There's plenty of pizze left for you, kiddo." He offered.

I gave him a weak smile and trudged off to the kitchen to get a slice. I had to pretend for his benefit at least. I sat down on the couch, mindlessly picking the slice of pizza apart, pretending to eat it. Charlie wasn't paying much attention anyway. I dumped the rest of it in the trash quickly and washed my hands off. Charlie brought his plate to the sink, setting it there, and looking at me with suspicion.

"Anything bad happen last night? You and Jake seemed to have a good time. Right? "

I paused briefly before answering, trying to make my voice sound as normal as possible.

"Yeah, we did." I replied to him, staring down at the sink.

"Then... what's going on? I half expected him to show up for dinner tonight?"

"Yeah he is- out... I guess."

I glanced up at Charlie, who saw the expression on my face.

"Out?" He asked, suspicion plainly evident in his low tone.

"Yeah, I called Billy a bit ago, and he said he's not in. Anyways... I'm gonna turn in early okay? I'm tired."

"Sure honey. Get some rest." He replied, as I walked up the stairs to my room. I could feel myself beginning to slip back into the dark place that I hated. The one that left me in a zombie like state. I threw myself down on my bed and slept through half the night before having a Nightmare so terrifying, I awoke in tears, and screamed so loud this time that Charlie burst through my bedroom door immediately, thinking someone was killing me.

"Bella!" Charlie said to me, urgently trying to get me to wake up. My eyes shot open and saw him standing there in front of me. I clutched the bedspread, and sobbed into it. Because the person I wanted to see when I opened my eyes was Jacob. Not that I wasn't grateful for my dad, because I was. But I wanted Jacob... just Jacob.

I sat up finally, taking a few calming breaths. "I thought being around Jake seemed to make things better? I guess not." Charlie sighed, as he touched my cheek.

I had selfishly pushed the only person away who had made me feel better. Who had made me feel safe. I nodded to Charlie in reply, seeing his concern there for me.

"Bella, sometimes you have to learn to love what's good for you... ya know? To be around those who are best for you." He said softly to me, touching my face once more. I simply nodded, feeling numb all over again, like the small bit of warmth and light that Jacob had started was suddenly ripped out from within me., leaving me empty and hallow again.

I laid back down, not wanting to think anymore and feeling Charlie kiss my forehead. "Go back to sleep, Bella. love you." He said to me as he left, shutting my door behind him. I laid there for three hours, fighting the urge to get dressed, and go to La Push to see Jake. I had to see him. I got up and finsihed my paper. There was no point in trying to sleep now. I was convinced I would never sleep a full night again in my life.

When the sun started to rise, and peer into my window, I got my clothes and went in to get showered for the day. I made Charlie some breakfast, and sat numbly on the couch, reading withering heights, and checking my phone ever few minutes to see if Jake had called. Still nothing.

The next two weeks continued like this. The same routine each night, haunted by my nightmares of Edward and of Jacob. It was becoming too much, way too much.

Each day I would do the same, get up early, clean the house, take a shower and get ready for the day, cook Charlie breakfast, head off the school, get out of school and head home, Check to see if Jake had called. He never did so I'd Call him and leave a short voicemail, asking him to please call me back when he could. I'd Got to bed, and then repeat it all the next day. Charlie would ask me every few days if I was okay, and why Jake hadn't been around. I usually made up some kind of excuse, saying he was busy with the garage and just out a lot now. I tried to act okay, but I failed a lot and Charlie could see right through my facade.

One night after dinner, I had reached my breaking point. I paced back and forth in front of my bedroom window, looking out into the night, debating on what to do. I called Billy again. He answered on the first ring, almost as if he was waiting by the phone.

"Black residence."

"Hi Billy." I sighed, hoping beyond all hope he would be there this time. " Is Jake home?. "

"Bella... Jake is ... sick. He had mono. I'll tell him you called but he needs his rest, okay?" Billy replied.

Sick?... Jacob was sick? Mono? I knew enough about mono to know it was hard to get rid of, and that it could take weeks, even months to get better.

"Oh, well does he need anything?" I tried asking, hoping I could at least bring him soup. Anything that would warrant me seeing him.

"No, thank you, dear. Talk to you- sometime." He politely replied, before ending the phone call.

I set my phone down on the desk, and went back to pacing, running a nervous, shaky hand through my hair for the tenth time. Something wasn't right. I could feel it. Something was really off. But what? I sighed, looking out my window. I knew one thing, I couldn't deal with this much longer. I was on the verge of cracking. I quickly climbed into bed, and went to sleep, only to face more terrifying dreams that night.

It was Saturday and I had a shift to work at Newtons. When I left the house, I seriously debated on whether to just skip work, call in, tell them I was sick or something, and take the exit to La Push instead. I fought the urge, and went to work anyway. My shift was short, only four hours and I left in a hurry, wanting to get home. I had to figure out what the hell was going on with Jacob. Even if I had hurt him that night, he would never just let me think the worst for two weeks. He would have come to see me, or at least return one of my many phone calls. He would of let me know one way or the other, somehow. He wouldn't leave it like this, He just wouldn't.

Somewhere in the back of my mind though, there was a small voice that seemed to get louder each day. One that told me maybe he was tired of this. Tired of me being the way I was. Tired of putting himself out there for me to kindly reject him all the time.

I drove fast, as fast as my truck could go towards home, only to pull over half way there when I saw the exit to La ' Push staring back at me. It took me a mere minute to decide that I was gonna find out what was happening with Jake. I had to. This had gone on long enough already. I pulled back out onto the highway, and took the exit to La' Push. I drove 55 mph the whole way. Breaking the speed limit by 15 m.p.h. through town and pushing my old truck to its limit.

Oh well, a speeding ticket was the least of my worries right now. I slowed down when I got to the familiar turn that led to the reservation... to Jake. My stomach was in knots, as I made the turn onto the res, seeing all the familiar houses.

I stopped when I saw someone who resembled Jacob walking in the pouring rain along the side of the road. Was it Jake? My heart lodging itself into my throat momentarily. No... It couldn't be. I slowly approached, and the closer I got, I realized it wasn't Jake at all. It was Embry...

I pulled up beside him, and rolled my window down. "Embry." I called to him. He stopped and turned around, seeing me behind him. "You need a ride?" I asked. He nodded and ran over, climbing in on the passenger side.

"Thanks, Bella." He said, turning to look at me. He looked so... sad. My heart clenched as I took in his features.. Seeing he seemed to be genuinely upset about something and certainly not the carefree, happy guy I had seen at the bonfire a few weeks ago.

"Embry have you seen Jake?" I asked him, pulling back out onto the dirt road.

He fell quiet for a while before answering me. "No... Have you?" He replied, sounding pissed off.

"No..." I said, blankly to him.

"Wow- well if he's not even speaking to you, it's worse than I thought."

I slowed down. "What? What is?" I asked him, urgency clear in my voice.

"About two weeks ago, Jake stopped talking to me, all of a sudden. I tried to call him. I was worried, and he never returned my calls. Not one. So three days ago, I find him hanging out with Sam Uley and his gang. Like... they were all the best of friends. He doesn't speak to me anymore." He replied sharply to me.

I felt as though I could be sick, listening to him talk about Jacob. Embry's words causing my worry for Jake to grow ten fold and settle itself in my stomach. Embry was his best friend, one of them anyway. He wouldn't treat him so poorly. Something was very wrong.

"I haven't heard from him in a few weeks, either."

"Who knows what the hell he's into." Embry said, bitterly with acid dripping from his tone. Clearly upset over what was going on with Jake as well.

"What do you think's happened?"

I didn't even want to think of the possibility of Jacob now being in some kind of gang. I shuddered at the mere thought.

"Sure as hell beats me, Bella. He's not even the same anymore. Talk about Jekyll and damn Hyde." Embry clenched his fists and stared out the window. "I live right here." He said, pointing to the nearby Blue house on my left. I slowed down, and pulled over, letting him out.

"Thanks for the ride, Bella... Good Luck." Embry sighed, shutting the truck door and running into his house without another word. I sat there looking ahead, thinking about how close they all had been that day in the garage. What would make everything change so suddenly?

I had a gut feeling on what or who had done this. Anger coursed through me as I thought of Sam Uley and his gang. What Jake had said to me about Sam just a few weeks ago, resonating with me now... "It's like he's waiting for me...really starting to creep me out." His words coming back to me, echoing in my head, over and over again as I drove further down into the Reservation, and closer to Jake's.

My hands were shaking the closer I got. I didn't know what exactly was going on, but I sure as hell was not leaving until I found out. I didn't care how long I would have to wait. I needed to see Jacob. Needed to know that he was okay. My gut told me he wasn't, and I was rarely wrong about my instincts. I would stay there all night if that's what it took. He'd have to come home sometime. He couldn't avoid me forever.

I soon saw the familiar, normally comforting, little red house with the deck on the front, ahead of me. I looked around, seeing nothing but the rain. No one was here. I slowly pulled in, and cut off the engine as I sat there, listening to the rain pour down on top of my truck. The quiet was defening. Minutes passed, and I pulled out a book from my bag to read. A way to pass the time as I waited for him.

I glanced up every few minutes, still seeing no one. I read through another chapter of Withering Heights, before noticing movement coming from the woods, off to my left. I put my book down and leaned foward, trying to get a better look. The rain continued to pour, making it hard to see. I watched as someone emerged, walking slowly towards the house. My heart raced, and I gasped, my breath catching in my throat when I saw it was Jacob. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I willed my legs to move, slowly pushing my door open, not taking my eyes from him as he walked to the house. He didn't see me, he kept his eyes fixed on the ground beneath him. I took a few steps forward, feeling the cold rain pour down on me. I stared at him, in utter disbelief.

Jacob had cut off all his long, thick, beautiful jet black hair. Leaving a short, choppy cut now in it's place. I walked slowly toward him, still not believing what was right in front of my very eyes. He wore nothing but black cut off shorts, and black sneakers. My eyes trailed over his body, seeing what looked to be a new tattoo on his upper arm. My mouth fell open with another gasp. It had only been two and a half weeks since I'd last seen him, and he looked so different. Despite the change, I forced myself to look at the person he was, seeing he was still Jacob. He would always be Jacob.

I walked quickly toward him, as he approached the house. He stopped, turning back to the woods for a second. Looking in the direction from which he came. I followed his stare, but saw nothing. He turned back around, and trudged toward the house again. It was now or never. I quickly went to him, practically running.

"Jake!" I yelled to him. though he didn't stop.

"Jacob!" I yelled again, this time he stopped dead in his tracks and I knew he had heard me. I stopped behind him, his back to me as the rain poured down on us both.

I couldn't speak. I felt like I was in shock. Jacob slowly turned himself around, and when his eyes met mine, I gasped again. All the light that had been in them just a few short weeks ago was gone. His eyes were void of any of the warmth I loved so much. My heart stopped when he spoke.

"Bella..." He said, in a low almost desperate tone.

"Jake... wh- what's happened to you?" I choked out, looking at him, seeing the huge change in him with my very eyes, and still not believing it.

"Bella... Go away." He replied in a clipped tone

His words were like a punch to the stomach, knocking the very wind out of me for a few moments. "What-" I gasped, looking up at him."Go away? I whispered in disbelief.

Jacob shook his head, and turned to go. I reached for him. "Jacob, I haven't heard a word from you in weeks! What the hell is going on here? You cut your hair and got a new tattoo?" I yelled, grabbing his arm, and forcing him to turn back around to face me. He slowly turned back to me and the desperation I saw in his eyes nearly broke me.

"What's happened to you? Talk to me." I pleaded with him. Frantic myself to fix this. Whatever the hell it was.

"Go home, Bella. Please... just go." Was his only reply.

Anger coursed its way through me again. I thought of Embry's words in the truck just moments ago. "Did Sam Uley get to you, is that what's happening?" I yelled at him.

Jacob took a step closer to me. "No..." He said in an angry tone. "No, Sam did nothing wrong, but if you're hell bent on blaming someone, how about blaming those filthy damn bloodsuckers you love so much - The Cullen's!" He spat to me. Taking a tone with me I had never heard before,

I felt my knee's go weak, and my head spin at his words. They were like a slap in the face. It couldn't be. How could he possibly know about them? No,it wasn't possible. I struggled for the right words as he looked into my eyes.

"I... I- don't know... what you're talking about." I choked out.

"No Bella, you've been lying to everyone. To Charlie... To Renee... But you can't lie to me, Bella. Not anymore."

I felt like I was in another nightmare. That I was gonna wake up soon, in my room with a terrified scream piercing through the walls around me. I stared up at him, feeling so exposed. His dark eyes pierced angrily through my own, seeing right through me. I shook to my very core as the horrifying realization struck me that he now knew every lie I had told. He now knew the truth. Jacob now knew it all.