Trigger warning for falling and/or Roof tops Izaya gets extremely close to falling off a roof and I describe that so if that makes you uncomfortable please be careful reading this.
It's only a few days later but they're already much more comfortable around each other, or at least Shizuo thinks Izaya is more comfortable. They were settled in Izaya's apartment with some tea at the moment because Izaya wanted to test some theories. He said they might help understand the bond better and Shizuo was cautiously optimistic as Izaya started his explanation. He still couldn't help but notice the way Izaya's thin, black sweater clung to his skin and revealed his collar bones but most of his attention was on Izaya's words so he figured he was winning the fight with his instincts.
"Obviously, this bond wants to force us together in any way it can, I assume there's some equally mystic reason behind the why as there is the how, but I want to run tests and... I need to trust you on this Shizu-chan."
There's a slight waver in Izaya's voice and Shizuo nods immediately, he wants Izaya to trust him. They could put their entire past behind them for all he cares anymore.
"Of course, whatever you need I'm ready to do."
Izaya takes a deep breath.
"Good. Order me to hurt myself."
He says it so succinctly that it actually takes Shizuo a moment to register it, too busy taking in the way Izaya's body moves when he breathes. He needs to eat more but his hair looks so soft and his face is so pretty, though he always has bags under his eyes, and- wait did he just say...
"What!? Why!?"
Izaya sighs, a look of consternation on his face.
"I need to know if there's an extent to how far you can go. Just something small for now, like bumping my elbow or stubbing my toe."
Shizuo hesitates. Izaya doesn't look happy about this situation, though he supposes it would be weird if he did considering what they'll be doing. He's not happy about this either.
"Are you sure you want me to do this?"
He gets a very nice laugh in return.
"Do I want you to hurt me? Of course not. But it's better to know."
Shizuo takes a deep breath to steady himself. If this is what Izaya needs him to do then he'll do it, no matter how much he hates the idea.
"Fine..."
He cringes as he thinks of an order.
"Bruise your leg on the table."
He mutters, but it's still an order and Izaya doesn't bother fighting the spark of the collar as his leg kicks out. Shizuo looks away as Izaya hisses at the slight pain.
"Is that enough?"
Izaya sighs regretfully.
"Unfortunately, no. We need to go a step further now. I need you to tell me to cut myself, if you could stop it at the last second that would be wonderful."
His words dip into sarcasm near the end but Shizuo's just relieved he gets to stop Izaya, he doesn't ever want to be the cause of Izaya's fear or pain again.
"I will... Cut your arm."
A grimace spreads over Izaya's face but he reaches into his pocket for a knife and pushes his sleeve out of the way to bring the knife into position. Shizuo waits as long as he can, a ball of nerves in his chest, and stops him when he thinks it's about to go to far, the blade pressed a hair's width away from Izaya's skin.
"What are we testing with this?"
He asks as Izaya relaxes and drops the knife to the table. Shizuo resists the urge to push it much farther away.
"If the bond lets you hurt me. You won't like this next part at all Shizu-chan."
Izaya's looking a little pale himself and Shizuo frowns, this seems bad.
"What is it?"
Izaya just gives him a shaky smile that makes Shizuo want to pull him into a comforting hug.
"Come with me."
...
Izaya leads Shizuo to the roof, despite the reluctance he feels. He'd stolen the key when he'd thought up these tests, it hadn't even been that hard, maybe he'll recommend better security to the building manager... If this even works.
They go up a couple short flights of stairs and Izaya unlocks the door, stepping out into sunlight and taking in the view. It's an amazingly heady feeling to be this high over the city, he can feel the wind around them and see everything for miles. Still, the reminder of why they were here killed the little spark of joy in his chest. He must be crazy to think this would ever be a good idea but he has to know, has to be able to plan for these things. So he'll put his trust in Shizuo, just this once. If it kills him... so be it.
"We're going to try some things you won't like."
He says softly, cutting off the look of soft wonder on Shizuo's face, that gaze going hard and focused.
"What things?"
There's trepidation in Shizuo's voice and Izaya smiles grimly.
"Don't worry about it for now."
He picks up a length of rope he left here two days ago in preparation for today and starts to tie it tight around his waist.
"Knot this for me, Shizu-chan."
Best to be on the safe side, of course. Shizuo gives him a dark frown but steps forward to tie the rope in a way that he'll probably have to cut it off once they're done to have any hope of removing it, it seems Shizuo is catching on. Once he's secure he hesitates a moment to stare out over the city again.
"Do you know what I want you to do, Shizu-chan?"
He can see the strong set of Shizuo's jaw and the way the sunlight shines on his windswept hair, and pushes aside the unwanted thoughts of Shizuo's attractiveness.
"Yes. Should I stop you?"
Izaya releases a long breath. Right, this is serious.
"Yes on the first time, no on the second."
Shizuo looks deeply disturbed but he nods and when the order comes there's barely a waver in his voice.
"Walk over the edge."
He tries to fight it instinctively, that's not at all something he wants to do, but his body moves on it's own. Even though he knows that the rope will save him, if Shizuo doesn't, the adrenaline builds quickly and he squeezes his eyes shut as he gets to the very edge, then-
"Stop, move away from the edge."
And he stills, eyes opening to the dizzying sight below him. His shoes are only a few centimeters from the edge and he stumbles back quickly, trembling slightly. Shizuo gives him a concerned look.
"Are you okay?"
Izaya takes several deep breaths.
"I'll be fine. Let's try again."
Shizuo nods, fingers fiddling with his pocket like he wants his cigarettes.
"Alright, last time."
Izaya stands next to Shizuo again and waits for the order. It seems to take forever but finally Shizuo forces it out.
"..Walk over the edge."
And despite the spike of fear he does. Step by step, until his foot hits the last of the concrete, he'll be in air on the next step, is the dizzy thought that rushes through his head, except he can't make himself move. The collar seems to curl around his throat.
"Shizu-chan. Order it again."
Seconds later the words come.
"Jump off."
The urge is there but he can't force his limbs to move even when he physically tries. The collar is feels like it's coiling now. It's clear that it won't make him do that. Relief floods his system, a lot of his fears wiped away by that one revelation.
"Call me back."
His voice shakes with his relief.
"You have your free will."
And he moves backwards to slump against the wall.
"The collar wouldn't let me jump. You can't force me to kill myself."
He'll never need to worry about that once nightmare becoming a reality, though there are other test they'll need to do those can be saved for another day. Shizuo helps him to his feet and Izaya's so happy that he doesn't even resist the urge to hug the man. The contact between them is so nice that he doesn't even complain when Shizuo leans over and draws him into a kiss. It's slow and soft and Izaya moans softly past the haze in his mind. Shizuo shudders against him and steps closer to pin him back to the wall. Some part of him is confused over why all this is happening but an even bigger part is just happy with Shizuo's mouth on his and the soft feeling of sparks around his neck.
Hands fall to grope his ass and he arches up onto tiptoes so Shizuo can hold him in place as they kiss, bodies pressed close together as Shizuo's tongue explores his mouth. He wraps his arms around Shizuo's neck with a whimper and grinds up against him causing Shizuo to jolt, groaning desperately before his eyes widen Shizuo pushes away from him quickly, sputtering and rambling right away. The loss makes Izaya whine but then he actually pays attention to what Shizuo is saying.
"Oh shit! I'm so sorry Izaya! I- fuck, this fucking bond. Please forgive me."
Shizuo looks so distraught and it takes a moment for Izaya to clear the haze from his thoughts to realize why, it had felt so nice to have- oh god damn it. The collar had to take his happy moment and ruin it! Though... it had felt pretty nice, but no, he's not going to think like that.
"It's okay Shizu-chan... It's the bonds fault and we were both caught up in it."
Not that it helps the violating feeling of having his control stripped away like he's a passenger in his own body, but that's not really Shizuo's fault, no matter how much he wishes he had a physical force to blame. Shizuo calms a little at that.
"Are you okay? I can leave if you need me to go?"
Izaya sighs and rests his head back against the wall.
"You can come back inside and finish your tea. I can tell you some of my other theories if you'd like?"
The day is pretty ruined but if they don't get to close too each other the bond probably won't act up again. Shizuo gives him a happy but cautious look.
"That sounds nice, let's go."
Izaya takes one more look around the roof and leaves, hanging the keys back on their rack before they head back down to his apartment.