A/N: Let me start by saying a HUGE heart felt thank you to all those who have followed this story still! I have been dedicating a lot of time to another fiction of mine, but a recent review got the wheels turning and gave me a needed push to continue this story as well! Happy Reading! :)

CHAPTER NINE

(BPOV)

I had never been one to take a risk when I needed to. I was known for being pretty reserved and simple. The biggest risk I'd taken was when I'd met Edward. I gave him a huge part of myself and he selfishly took it with him when he left. That piece of me would never be replaced, but I was learning with each new day, to be okay with that. I was starting to smile again and the turning tide of my inner turmoil was all thanks to Jacob. His persistent care and genuineness had shown me that life did indeed go on. My world felt shattered when Edward left, but maybe, just maybe, I could start new and grow from this. After all, life was full of lessons and I had learned something valuable from this time of darkness. I had learned to remember my own well being and to not let the past form and predict my future.

I had barely slept last night. My thoughts were on the sunny smile of Jacob and how he made me feel. With him I felt equal... even keeled... and for the first time... true to myself... true to what I wanted.

It was about time for me to give my heart what it had been screaming for lately. I was done with denying it. Done with being overly cautious and reflective. Done with the past of the Cullen's. They all were a huge part of my past, but that's where they needed to remain. My future was held in the warm russet hands of the one who's bright and sunny smile left me blushing like a fool and tripping over my own words.

I quickly made breakfast for Charlie and left him a note, telling him I would be in La' push for the afternoon.

The wind blew furiously around me. The chill with it enough to send a shiver through me when I climbed in the cab of my truck. I turned the key in the ignition and heard the old Ford roar to life as my eyes were suddenly drawn to a small folded piece of paper that laid in the passenger seat. I snatched it up and my breath caught in my throat when I noticed the fancy lettering it was written in. The paper thick and heavy, like that from a special ordered monogramed stationary. The Letter "C", was bold and prominently etched at the bottom left corner. My eyes bulged when I read the first line.

Dear Isabella,

I promised it would be as if I never existed... I have broken my promise and for this... I am sorry.

There was no sincerely signature at the bottom, but I knew who it was from. My mind went blank as the letter fell from my hands to the floor board of my truck.

...

...

He was here. In Forks... Somewhere.

My eyes scanned the trees and my heart raced as I put the old truck in gear and headed for La' push. My hands shaking but my heart steadily anchored to my destination.

He left.

Threw me into the worst depression I'd ever faced.

I lost who I was for weeks and weeks.

He didn't give a shit about my feelings when he made the choice to leave...

What did he think leaving that letter would do? Make me run back to him without a second thought? No... Surely not. I was no longer the unhinged girl who couldn't seem to pull herself together long enough to make a damn definitive decision to save her own pathetic and empty life. No...

That was then. This is now.

I pressed my foot down harder on the rickety gas pedal and topped out the old rusty ford to it's highway limit of 65mph. My hands white knuckled from gripping the steering wheel.

The nerve of him to just come back here and assume!

"Selfish ... arrogant... pompous Ass." I muttered under my breath as I took the exit that led me to La'Push. It was early in the morning still and I hoped I wouldn't be waking Billy with my unexpected visit. Not that I thought he would've minded anyway. I knew deep down that Billy was rooting just as hard as my father was for Jacob and I to get together. It was certainly no hidden secret.

I slowly entered the Res and crept along the dirt road, seeing The sun as it began to peer through the heavy clouds. My truck came to a halt in front of Jake's garage. No lights were on in the house and I mentally kicked myself for not waiting another hour or two before just showing up. The sound of a loud whistle coming from the woods had my attention drawn there to see Sam waiting by the forest border. His look angry and intimidating.

A few fleeting seconds passed before Jacob came jogging out. His look unreadable when he saw me there. His smile was present but small and never came close to touching the warm hue of his eyes.

I felt the hair raising anxiety wash over me when Sam called for him. His baritone dominating and instructive. "Jacob."

With nerves racing, I got out to greet Jake. His embrace was welcomed and I eagerly returned it, wishing Sam's timing had been better.

"I'll be back soon. Stay a while?" He asked, his warm words covering me like a blanket.

"Of course. I'll wait for you."

He kissed me on the cheek and soon ran full tilt for Sam. Their human forms rapidly disappearing with adequate speed and cover of the forest.

Billy's inviting voice came from behind me as I watched them go. "Bella... Nice of you to stop by dear. Care to keep an old man company and have a cup of coffee?"

"Sounds good to me." I replied, following after him inside. His smile genuine to me as he poured us each a cup.

"You're up early?" I asked.

"Always have been. You know the wise old saying... Early bird gets the worm. Or should I say the wolf..." Billy replied with a solid laugh. The sound reminding me of Jacobs and bringing an immediate grin to my face. "You know, I could say the same applies to you? What has you up an about before the suns full rise this morning?"

"Well... " I sighed, gripping my mug of hot coffee. "I needed to speak to Jake, but Sam kinda delayed that a bit. "

"Pack obligations can be interfering at times, can't they?"

"I don't mind waiting. It gives me a chance to catch up with you. How have you been lately?"

"Not too bad for an old timer like myself." Billy chuckled.

"I'm glad to hear it."

"How's your old man doing himself these days?"

"He's been working a lot. Pulling some double shifts down at the station. But he's doing well."

"Your old man has always had a strong work ethic. Just part of who he is."

"True." I replied, taking a small sip of my coffee.

Billy's gaze met mine. His observing eyes the same warm hue of brown as Jacobs.

"Jacob's been burning the candle at both ends lately. Been a big adjustment for him when he joined the pack. He's holding his own though and Sam's been helping him with the adjustment. How are you taking all this?"

"I'm ... adjusting ... myself." I replied.

"Just remember that Jacob is still Jacob."

I nodded with a smile, seeing Billy's own wide grin in return as the front door flew open and in came a rowdy crew of Paul, Quil and Jacob. Their mischievous laughter filling the small house.

"What the hell Jake! You didn't have to leave me in the dust like that!" Paul scoffed.

"Not my problem! You should learn to keep up!" Jake taunted.

"Whatever. Freakin' show off!"

Their taunting stopped when Jacobs gaze met mine. His grin almost immediate.

"I'll catch you later, Paul." Jake offered, his hand coming to take mine and hauling me to my feet.

"Sure thing bro." Paul chuckled as we headed out to Jake's garage.

My heart began to race when his hand tightened in mine. The sound of the rain beating down on the roof filling the garage.

"You waited..."

"I told you I would, didn't I?" I replied.

"How was your chat with dad?"

"Good... it was nice to talk with him for a while... But... I stopped in earlier hoping to speak with you."

"Well I'm all yours now. Pack obligations done for the day."

I watched him as he picked up some of the many tools strewn about the garage, seeing his warm and sturdy hands as they gathered them. My eyes wandered to his bare torso as he turned back to face me. His look growing serious.

"What's on your mind, Bells?"

"A lot..."

He placed the wrench he was holding down on his work bench. His hands finding mine and drawing me closer to him. "Like what? Something happen?"

His simple question making my thoughts wander back to the letter I'd received from Edward earlier.

"I ... got a letter this morning... from Edward."

Jake's whole demeanor shift was nearly jolting as his body stiffened and his eyes narrowed. "Cullen... you got a letter from him?"

I nodded and felt his hands leave mine as he walked out around me. His look bordering on angry now.

"It was in my truck. I found it when I was getting ready to drive over here. It said that he had broken his promise and that he was sorry for it."

"Oh yea... which promise was he referring to?" Jake angrily scoffed. His stance changing to defensive as his arms crossed over his broad chest.

"The one about him leaving me be. As if he never existed."

"If only-"

I closed the growing distance between us in attempt to switch back the negative turn of conversation. This wasn't the sole reason I'd come here and I wasn't about to let that letter from Edward derail my intent.

"Jake, I wanted to tell you-"

"This changes things doesn't it?" He suddenly interjected. "With us?"

"No... that's what I wanted to talk to you about this morning..." I replied, inching myself closer to him and seeing his anger fade. "I thought a lot last night."

"You did?"

"Yeah and I don't wanna keep dwelling in the past. It's not what I want... or... who I want."

"Who..."

I felt him draw me closer and the words came spilling from me before my nerves could interfere. "I want you. I want us, Jacob. You pulled me out of the darkness. Made me whole... fixed what was shattered. My heart is with you-."

His lips were on mine before I could read any further reaction. The heat off his kiss all consuming as he pressed me to him. The rush of it like standing on a mountain top with a sudden gust of wind stealing your breath away and leaving you in utter awe of the beauty it beheld. His lips were soft, yet hungry and insistent. The feel of his tongue sweeping my bottom lip had me clinging to him, eagerly deepening the kiss and leaving me yearning for more.

This is what my heart had been desperately searching for.