First things first, I am so sorry it's taken me two weeks to get this chapter out. You guys have been so patient and amazing, so thank you! Now, I realize that this chapter is a bit short compared to the other ones, but I had to cut it here. Anyway, thanks again to all of you amazing people who read, review, follow, and favorite this story. You guys make me want to work hard to make my chapters better! Special thanks to the best Beta ever: LittleWonderland. You seriously are completely amazing!

Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail.

CHAPTER 11: A LOT OF THINGS DIFFERENT

Natsu's POV

I left the hospital, with Gray's words ringing in my ears, 'You did this to her...We almost lost her because of you!' It was the most horrible thing he had ever said to me, and for once in my life, I had no defense against him. For the first time, I had to admit that Gray was right; I had caused all of this heart ache, all of Lucy's pain. I choked on my tears, as I walked aimlessly, thinking of what she had gone through. It made me so sick to think of it all, to know that my name was signed in every mark on her body, in every drop of her blood that was spilled, in every broken place in her heart. I fell to my knees, hunching over as my body rebelled against the truth. I heaved into the grass, until there was nothing left inside me, but the bitter taste of regret. I had never hurt anyone like this before, and I didn't know how I was going to live with the horror of knowing that it was Lucy, who had suffered at my hand.

I stood up, making my way towards the guild; there was no point in hiding what I had done. I wouldn't be a coward; I would take what I had earned from them. I had hurt one of our family, and I deserved whatever I got. I just didn't know how to tell them that Lucy had been hurt far worse than any of them knew. They didn't know she'd been raped, and I had to be the one to tell them. Then, I would have to tell them it all happened because of me. I didn't know if they were ever going to forgive me, but it didn't matter, because I knew I'd never be able to forgive myself. I'd never be able to wipe the memory of her broken body and her agonizing screams from my mind. I'd never forget that I had a hand in breaking her.

I looked up as I realized that I hadn't been paying attention where I was going, and found myself in front of the Sakura tree I had once dug up for Lucy. I felt fresh tears flood my eyes at all I had destroyed, and my fist shot out, smashing into the massive tree. I hit the rough bark as hard as I could over and over again, screaming out all my shame and anger and pain to the sky. I sank to the ground, seeing blood pouring from my hands, and I thought to myself as it should be. It should be me, who is broken and bleeding, not Lucy. She hadn't done anything wrong; she was kind, and caring. She thought of everyone before herself, not like me. I was selfish; I was a fool.

I sat there, my heart breaking at the understanding that I had just lost my best friend. She didn't want me near her anymore, and I couldn't blame her. Lucy's words came back to haunt me, 'Rogue has been more loyal to me in the last day than you have Natsu'. I couldn't seem to stop the hideous words, visiting me like a broken record, and I realized that she was right. She was so completely right. I had been so stupid, thinking I was handling things well. I had been too focused on myself, trying to figure out why I felt so strongly about Lisanna. I hadn't stopped to think about what Lucy would feel like once she found out that I had been doing all of it behind her back. I never thought I was actually cheating; I hadn't intended to do anything like that. Everyone at the guild was right; I am an idiot.

I sat against the tree for a long while, thinking over all that had happened to bring me to this place. I suppose it had to go back all the way to when Lisanna and I were kids. I loved her so much, and when she had "died", it was like a part of me died with her. Then Lucy came along and I finally felt like I could move on, like maybe, I could be happy again. Then, all of a sudden, Lisanna was back, and everything changed. Looking at her, I got so confused. I was with Lucy, and I loved her, but there was something between me and Lisanna too. I didn't know what it all meant, but Lisanna and I had always been close, so we started spending time together. It wasn't just us either; Happy was with us a lot too, and it felt just like it did before she had disappeared. Then, one day, a simple, innocent hug somehow turned into a kiss, and everything in me felt like it had finally found home. We both backed away immediately, but the damage was done. It couldn't be erased or forgotten; I finally knew. I wasn't in love with Lucy; I was in love with Lisanna. I had always been in love with her.

Lisanna had cried and apologized for the kiss, running off before I could say anything, but I couldn't leave it there. I knew I'd never be able to just go back to the way things were. It would be a lie, and I couldn't pretend, now that I knew the truth. I found her at the guild later that day and asked her to come by my house the next day, so we could talk the whole thing out. She fought the idea, but in the end, I convinced her to come. I left shortly thereafter for dinner with Lucy, and I tried to act like everything was fine. I hated the deception, but I needed to work things out with Lisanna first. So, I carried on like usual, which strangely enough wasn't hard to do. Lucy was easy to talk to, and I would always love her as my best friend. Still, I fought the guilt, as I slipped out of the window to head home, telling myself that tomorrow, everything would be fixed.

The next day, Lisanna and I spent a long time talking everything over, and when I told her how I felt, she admitted that she loved me too. We both felt as if we'd been given a second chance, and we weren't about to let it slip away again. We walked out of the house, making the decision to tell Lucy and hope that she'd understand. I knew it would hurt her, but I couldn't see any other path. I wanted to be with Lisanna, and I couldn't stay with Lucy just to avoid hurting her. It was going to be horrible, any way I looked at it, so the best option was to just be honest with her. So, after sharing a kiss, we returned to the guild to wait for Lucy. Little did we know that Lucy had heard our conversation and everything would soon be destroyed beyond repair.

I stood up, dragging a hand across my face, before resuming my trek to the guild, my mind continuing to race. I had tried to do the right thing, but it was obvious that I had gone about this all wrong. I realized now, that I should have been honest with Lucy the night we'd had dinner. I should have just told her about the first kiss immediately; maybe if I had done that, she wouldn't be in the hospital, hurt and afraid of everyone. She would have still been angry and hurt by what I'd done, but I can't help but think that she would have eventually forgiven me. Now, as it stands, I didn't think that would ever be possible. Every bad thing that had happened to her in the last 24 hours came from that one conversation where I broke her heart. How could I possibly come back from that? My eyes filled again at the overwhelming impossibility of Lucy and I ever being friends again.

Arriving at the double doors that led into the guild, I acknowledged I had truly lost her. I stood there, knowing I'd lost her by not knowing what I really wanted from her, by not being honest with her, and by moving on before I had settled things with her. I had been acting like a child, making decisions while considering only what I wanted. I pushed the doors open to the view of a packed guild. It was time to stop being a self centered child, time to grow up and be a man. I made it a few feet into the room, hearing a few gasps as they finally got a look at me. Looking around the room, I saw Lisanna heading towards me, and catching her eye, I shook my head. She stalled, looking worried and confused, but I couldn't stop to explain right now. I had something to do.

Mira's POV

I'd never seen Natsu look so horrible, his eyes swollen and still wet with tears. I wondered how much of an indication it was of Lucy's condition. My eyes found their way to his ruined hands, watching the steady drip of his blood on the floor. He seemed wholly unconcerned with it. It was easy to see he was devastated, and my heart went out to him.

"Where's Gramps?" he croaked, sounding as if his throat was closing up. His eyes scanned the room, before spotting who he was looking for coming through the crowd.

"Natsu," Master said cautiously, walking closer to the distraught man, "What's happened?"

I watched as the pink haired man bowed his head, tears slipping from his face, as he sobbed, "It's my fault, Gramps. It's all because of me."

"Why would you say that?" Master asked confused, as the doors were opened a second time to reveal my ex-rival. I watched as her face contorted into rage at the sight of Natsu, and suddenly an armored fist connected with his face, sending him flying across the room into a wall.

"You sorry son of a bitch!" Erza shouted, requiping a sword, as she started towards him again, "You will pay for what you've done!"

I couldn't believe what I was seeing; sure, Erza got mad at Natsu all the time, but this was different. She was beyond furious about something that none of us seemed to be aware of. This didn't look like her regular punishment for him; she was out for blood. Natsu was also acting out of character; he was just sitting where he fell, waiting on her as if he didn't care if she killed him. I'm so confused.

"Erza!" Master yelled, using his Titan voice to gain her attention, "What is going on?!"

She stopped as his words reached her, turning to look at his confounded face, and said with barely concealed anger, "It's his fault Lucy got hurt." She searched the room, before stopping to point her sword at my sister and spat venomously, "His and hers!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked hesitantly, watching Lisanna's face scrunch up in confusion, then go white with dismay. My stomach twisted up in knots; something was very wrong.

Just then, the doors burst open a third time, admitting the twin dragon slayers from Sabertooth. Their eyes roamed the room, before the blonde one, Sting Eucliffe stepped forward to sneer at the fire dragon slayer on the floor, "She means that Lucy caught Pinky and that chick over there playing tonsil hockey, and literally ran right into trouble."

Gasps erupted through the room as the entire guild turned our heads to look at Natsu and Lisanna in shock. They both turned away, guilt staining their faces. I couldn't wrap my mind around the thought that they had hurt Lucy like that, going behind her back, cheating. What the hell were they thinking? And the fact that it had resulted in her getting attacked did not sit well with me. I could feel the burn to let my Satan Soul out to play, but with Erza barely containing her wrath, I knew one of us had to stay calm.

The dark haired mage, Rogue Cheney, glanced over to him with a look of warning, "Sting..." He then turned to the leader of our guild, saying, "Master Makarov, I need to speak with you about something before we head out."

"Is this about Lucy? Has something else happened?" Master asked, concern filling his voice.

Rogue simply nodded his head, to which Master replied, "Then speak up. We're her family, so you can tell us all."

"Very well," the shadow dragon slayer announced, "I don't know if any of you know this yet. I was only informed by the doctor this morning as we were leaving to come here." We looked at him expectantly, as he took a deep breath, before continuing, "Apparently, when Lucy was attacked by that...that man," he snarled angrily, "she was...she was..."

I watched as he struggled to form the words, his face beginning to go white and his hands clenching. His friend looked over anxiously, before turning to finish Rogue's statement. "He means, your girl was raped," he stated matter-of-factly, as the guild exploded in a cacophony of furious shouting, mournful weeping, and vicious growling.

Above all was the sound of Erza's vehement scream, and her eyes sought out her prey. Sword in hand, she marched her way towards the fire mage, seemingly forgetting everyone but him. Before she could reach him, a large hand closed around her body, pulling her away from Natsu, as he watched utterly defeated. My hand covered my mouth, trying to hold back the wail that had been building in my throat. The red-head thrashed in the Master's hand, fighting to get back to the man she was after.

Master cried openly, as he shouted, "That's enough, Erza! Stop!"

"No! It isn't enough!" She screeched before collapsing in tears, sobbing, "It will never be enough..."

I ran to her side, as Master released her, and gathered her shaking form in my arms. We sat in the floor and cried on each others' shoulders, as she whimpered, "He has to pay..." I could understand her anger at Natsu, as I was fighting my own at both him and Lisanna. It was beginning to feel like our guild was being torn apart, piece by piece. I could feel the hope, that we would one day be the same again, slowly slipping away, and I mourned the family we had been. We weren't supposed to hurt one another this way.

A/N: I was a bit worried about Mira and Erza here, but my Beta says they're just fine, so I'm gonna go with it! Hope you guys enjoyed it, and please tell me how you feel about Natsu now. Next chapter - time to visit the site of Lucy's attack. Who will go on the team? What will their reactions be? How will Rogue handle seeing it in daylight? All these questions...you'll find out soon! Promise! See you next time!