Wow, we're already at chapter 17, and I feel like we've barely scratched the surface of what I have planned. Guess that means lots more chapters for you guys. lol Anyway, thanks so much for all the amazing things you guys have said about my story, for all the support through follows and favorites. You guys are great! Thanks to my ridiculously awesome friend, Deathsembrace137, for beta'ing and helping me with the last bit of this chapter.

Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail, but you know that...right?

CHAPTER 17: BREAKING APART

LUCY'S POV

It had been a while since Gray and Erza left, and as horrible as it was to say it, it was a relief now that they were gone. I hated feeling like that, but I couldn't help it. I didn't understand why I felt so uncomfortable around them, around anyone to be honest. Anyone, but Rogue. He was the only exception, and I wasn't even sure why. For some bizarre reason, he felt safe to me, like my home. Somehow, I knew he understood. It didn't matter what I said, or how I reacted, he seemed to understand. He got it.

Maybe that was why I felt so off balanced around the others. They tried so hard, I know they did, but they couldn't see the darkness. They couldn't know the things in my head, the ugliness that lived there now. We'd all seen horrible things, I knew that, most of which we'd gone through as a group, but this was different.

I curled my legs into my chest, my body unconsciously scooting into the corner of the couch, as the thought of that man came to mind. Yes, this was different. Never had an enemy ever tainted me like this. No matter how bad things had gotten before, the bad guys had never won. They'd never conquered me. I blinked as a tear slipped down my cheek, and admitted the truth to myself.

He destroyed me. I tried to fight, but he beat me. He beat me like I hadn't put everything I had into resisting him. It was easy to see I'd never be the same. I couldn't be her anymore, with the easy smile, the happy laugh, the fearless flaunting of my body. She was gone, and a part of me mourned her. I knew my friends did too; they wanted her back, but they didn't understand that she was never returning.

That girl had been a fool, believing she was safe, that nothing could hurt her. I knew life wasn't fair, that it could be downright cruel, but I had let Fairy Tail change my mind. They were warm and loving, giving me the family I so desperately wanted, but with that came confidence and more than a little arrogance. After all, we'd made it through each and every battle, largely unscathed, and I'd begun thinking we were all but invincible. How just like life to show me just how wrong I'd been.

I wrapped my arms around my knees, feeling the cold creep into my bones. It seemed I was always cold now, so achingly chilled. It never left for long, only when Rogue was near. I hadn't been able to make sense of it, and had finally decided to quit trying. How ironic that we had meant nothing to each other when we met, but now, he was everything to me. This man who was stoic to the point of coldness was my light, my hope, and my safety, all in one.

The thought drifted through my mind, reminding me that he could still leave, any time he wanted. He owed me nothing. It struck me like a physical blow, seizing my heart in panic, the steady beat spiking into a gallop instantly. What would I do? I wouldn't survive. He would come; he would take me again, and this time, I would die. My hands clenched around the blanket Rogue had pulled over me earlier, my mind lost in the dark, in the agony I knew would come if he was gone.

Hands smoothed over my arms, and I started, my head jerking up in fright. Rogue's hands lifted to my face, wiping at the tears I hadn't known were there, and asked, "What is it, Lucy?"

"Tell me again," I whimpered, helpless to stop the tremble in my voice, as I stared at him, "Please..."

His head angled to the side, as he looked down at me confused, and questioned, "Tell you what?"

"Tell me you won't go," I pleaded, my head dropping in shame. I felt so weak for begging, so pathetic for needing him so much, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't fight the darkness on my own. I wasn't strong enough.

He sighed, and lifted my head, looking straight into my eyes, and said, "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here for as long as you need me."

I looked at him, taking in the quiet strength that was simply him, the knowledge in his eyes, and the certainty of his statement, and took in a deep breath, whispering, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I am happy to remind you as often as you need to hear it," he assured, "Now, why don't you go change out of that hospital gown. I'm sure you'll feel much more comfortable in your own clothes."

LAXUS'S POV

"Okay, quiet down. We need to come up with a better plan for tracking Tatankan. Anyone have any ideas?" Gramps called out, his voice as serious as I'd ever heard it.

"Freed came up with something," I said, looking over to Freed with a nod for him to explain.

He cleared his throat before offering his suggestion, "I think we should lay traps around town, like a web stretching over the whole of Magnolia. We set it up to notify us when he crosses through one of them."

"Excellent plan, Freed. Anyone else?" the old man continued, looking around the room.

A small voice spoke up next, and I turned to see Levy with her hand raised in the air, "I can help Freed do the traps. We can get them up much faster with two us of working on it."

"I have a question," Gray asked, his face perplexed, "How will the traps know it's him? Won't they go off when anyone walks into them?"

Several people nodded in agreement, as we glanced toward Freed once more. His face fell with distaste as he replied, "I'll have to go back to the place where Lucy was attacked and get some of his DNA. We'll have to write the runes using it so that they'll target only him. Master, we're going to need Porlyusica for this. We can't simply add it to the writing; it has to be turned into a type of magical ink."

Gramps nodded his head, saying, "Jet, I'll need you to head to her house with a message. I'll write it out for you in a moment. Now, I don't want anyone working on any part of this to go anywhere alone. There will be teams, especially when we start putting up the traps. We don't want any more surprises. So, who will be going with Freed to collect the DNA?"

"I'm going with him. He'll need a Dragon Slayer to sniff out the DNA," I called out. I wasn't looking forward to going back to that place, but I would do what needed to be done.

"I'll be joining them, as well. There's someone that needs to see that alley," Mira said, her gaze pining her sister in place.

I grunted in approval. That girl had no idea what Blondie went through. All she could see was Natsu right now, and she needed to get her head outta her ass. Mira was obviously thinking that seeing where the blonde was hurt would wake Lisanna up to what was important right now. As much as he agreed, he knew that Mira was in for a shock as well. She didn't have a clue what she had just signed up for.

Looking over at the ice mage, I waited for him to volunteer, but he simply shook his head, his hands clenched at his sides. I nodded slightly, knowing it was probably best that he not accompany us. He was struggling to keep it together already. Seeing the alley where Blondie fell could only cause him more pain.

Evergreen declined, her face paling at the thought of going back, but Bixlow indicated his assent with a tilt of his head. Cana slid from her seat, uncharacteristically sober, saying, "I'm going too. I want to see if I can do a divination on him."

As we worked out the final members of our team, Natsu spoke up from the back of the room, his voice small and unsure for the first time, "I want to go."

I huffed at his question, not even bothering to look in his direction, as I answered, "Who cares what you want?"

Unfortunately, my grandfather shot me a look, and opposed, "I think it would be good for him to see, as well as Lisanna."

Stifling a growl, I stood to my feet, and groused, "Whatever. Let's go."

ROGUE'S POV

I slumped onto the couch, dropping my head in my hands, as Lucy shut the door to her room. I had kept my cool in front of her, but now that she couldn't see me, I could let go. My nerves had been on high alert ever since we'd left the hospital, and it hadn't helped when her team mates had slipped into the apartment so silently. Normally, I would have taken account of the scent of the intruder, and known instantly who it was, but my mind hadn't been working properly.

I was on edge, because I had failed Lucy. I hadn't even considered just how dangerous it was for her to be in that hospital. Now, I was questioning everything I had done thus far. Should I have taken her somewhere else? Was she safe here? Could he have followed us? I was getting dizzy from the questions flying around in my head. How could I have not thought of something so elementary? I put her in danger, and I hadn't even realized it. I should have thought of that.

Lucy, however, had not a single doubt about me. She still seemed to trust me just as much as she had before. She'd offered no recriminations, no disappointment at all in my actions. She just asked for my assurance again, tying her hope to me, as though I hadn't messed up in her protection. She clung to me, her actions suggesting that she believed in me, that she trusted my ability to keep her safe.

Though I didn't understand why that was the case, I didn't dwell on it, instead, feeling immense relief that she didn't believe I'd let her down. I had tried so hard to be there for her, to do and be everything she needed to get through this, and I would continue to do so. I couldn't stand the thought of her getting hurt again, or feeling alone and fearful. I couldn't bear it if something happened to her like...

No, I wouldn't go there. I refused. I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of mumbling in the next room, the words too garbled to discern. I stood to my feet, moving closer to her room in an attempt to figure out what she was saying, and finally heard it just as the sobs started.

"W-why can't I get it off?" she cried, her voice edging into panic, "Get off of me!"

I put a hand on the door, calling out her name, but she didn't answer, her voice still carrying on the horrible conversation with herself. I opened the door a crack, intending to call out to her again in case she was still undressed, when the smell hit me. Blood. I slammed open the door and found her on the floor, clad in only a t-shirt, clawing at her leg. I fell to my knees in front of her, grabbing her hands to stop her attack, yelling out her name as she began thrashing.

She jerked against me, trying to pull her arms away, as she shrieked, "No, I have to get it off!"

"Lucy! Stop it!" I yelled, yanking her into my chest, trapping her arms between us. She bucked against me, trying to free herself, her voice screeching out her anguish, but I refused to let her go. I called her name frantically, desperately trying to get her to calm down. She fought long and hard, slowly wearing herself out until she collapsed into me, letting out a pitiful wail.

I held her in my arms, as sobs wracked her worn body, and whispered, "I'm here. I'm right here, Lucy."

She settled after a long while, and I sat back on my heels, releasing my hold on her once I was certain that she wouldn't start tearing into her flesh again. I held her face in my hands and said, "Okay, I'm going to check your leg now. Just relax."

I waited for her to nod her agreement before looking down at the bloody mess she'd made of her leg. I hissed at the damage she'd done, feeling my stomach roil as blood seeped from the deep gashes, pooling beneath her on the floor. "Do you have any medical supplies?" I asked, looking up at her defeated face.

She pointed towards the bathroom soundlessly, and dropped her hand beside her, sitting there in silence as I retrieved the first aid kit. I knelt once again in front of her, and gathered what I needed to clean the wound and bandage it. It would have been much easier to have the Sky Dragon Slayer heal her, but I couldn't leave to get her. As I turned my attention to her leg, I said, "This is going to hurt a bit. Okay?" and seeing her shrug, I sighed and asked, "Lucy, why did you do this?"

The blonde sniffed, tears pooling in her eyes again, and answered in a soft voice, "He put his n-name on me. I-I couldn't get it off."

I drew in a deep breath before speaking, "I know you want it off, Lucy, but this isn't the way. Look how much you hurt yourself."

"I don't care," she whispered as if telling a secret, her eyes to the floor, "I don't want to belong to him."

My head jerked up in shock. "Lucy...why would you say that?" I asked cautiously, somehow knowing I wasn't going to like what was coming. She kept quiet, and I reached out a hand to make her look at me, pressing, "Lucy, answer me."

She opened her mouth a few times, her hesitation clear on her face, before the words spilled out, "H-He said he had to brand me s-so everyone would know I belonged t-to him."

"You said you trust me, right? Well, then you trust me now when I tell you this. He does not own you. I don't give a damn what he said. There's nothing he could do that would make you belong to him," I explained, maybe harsher than I should have, but I was pissed. I wanted to rip that sick fucker apart with my bare hands. "I want you to promise me that you won't ever do this again," I told her sternly, making sure to keep eye contact.

Her eyes widened before she turned her head aside, keeping silent on the matter. Apparently she wasn't going to promise anything of the sort, which really bothered me, but she also didn't lie to me. I suppose that was good. At least I wouldn't have to worry about whether I can trust that she'll tell me the truth when I ask her something. I let out a sigh of frustration, as I finished up the bandaging, and left her to put away the supplies.

As I stepped back in the room, I spoke, my voice once again calm, "I'm not happy about this, but I'm glad you didn't choose to lie to me." I leaned down to pick her up again, heading straight for her bed. Pulling back the covers, I set her down gently, and at her pleading look, I took off my shoes and climbed in beside her. She lay there, her face uncertain, as she bit her lip in indecision.

"Lucy, I told you not to be afraid to ask for what you want," I admonished her as she continued to sit there.

She breathed in sharply before looking at me again, and asked, "W-will you h-hold me. I s-sleep better like that."

I opened my arms in answer, as I settled into a comfortable position, and waited for her to crawl over to me, laying her head against my chest. I brought my arms around her tightly, and she sighed, her eyes beginning to flicker almost immediately. "Lucy, please don't do that again. I hate seeing you hurt," I said quietly.

She yawned, her eyes finally slamming shut, as she offered a final thought, "I promise, Rogue...for you."

A/N: Oh, the RoLu...anyone else feel like crying when Lucy did that to herself. It really did a number on me. Why do I do this to myself?