A/N: Another short chapter! Thank you for the great feedback. As of now I do plan on doing some editing but the story will remain up. Many of you seem to really enjoy it :)

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

(JPOV)

I was trapped inside my own skin.

Present but not really there... unresponsive.

I could hear everything that was happening around me, feel everything and even distinguish the voices of those who spoke, but couldn't respond to them. The suffocating heat raging through my veins made my insides feel as if someone had set them on fire with no end in sight. I didn't know how much more I could stand this. The pain was so bad that I feared nothing would be left of me but ash before it stopped. If I could open my mouth and scream... I would, but there was a heavy invisible weight - a force of some kind - that held me down in place, rendering me hostage in my own body.

From what I could understand, Sue had been diligent in administering high doses of morphine for the pain at first. I felt the needle pierce my skin each time she would set up a new I.V. for me, but little did she know, it hadn't touched the searing agony that had settled itself into my every limb and the anguish that no one could see was slowly killing me. Ripping me apart bit by bit.

As time went on the pain only got worse. My bones felt shattered and my muscles stretched beyond their limits, like I was on the verge of phasing without the tremors.

It was as if I had been drugged or suddenly had become paralyzed within myself. My voice was gone now. It had been stolen from me, along with my sense of self and any power I had over the wolf.

Bella's hand in mine had been the only constant thing that reminded me I was not alone in this. She was here with me.

The sound of her breathing and steady heartbeat kept me from giving in to whatever this was, though I wanted to succumb to it more than once. Just to make the pain stop.

What the hell was happening to me?

I had heard the many conversations that surrounded me, took note of the worried tone Sam and some of the others from the pack spoke in. Frequent ramblings of ..."He should be awake by now," followed by even more panicked whispers of... "Something's really wrong with him," were the main phrases I had heard by all of them, including my dad. His tone concerned me the most. He seemed to fear the worst outcome and the urgency in his voice made me know that time was not on my side now.

After hearing what Sam had said to Bella moments ago, I had begun to think he was right. The wolf within me wanted to dominate the man and I felt powerless to stop it. As the legends told it - If I couldn't somehow turn this around than I would be stuck here forever.

The thought alone made me feel hollow and so empty.

I was screaming in agony on the inside, barely hanging by a thread. How could they not see my pain?

After days of wondering this... it became clear to me that my torture was purely my own and that no one else, not even Bella, could see it. To all of them, I appeared perfectly still. My exterior gave way to none of the anguish I felt. It was my own personal hell. My own prison.

I could tell when night would come because it was filled with Bella's crying and hearing her sorrow like this had left me in a whole new world of fresh torment.

For the first time since I had phased, I truly loathed what I was. I knew that being a wolf would make me appear as a monster to most, but what I didn't know was it would threaten to steal my very life from me. I've heard many say they would give all for the ones they love and right now... it couldn't be more true. I would gladly give up being what I was altogether if it meant I could escape this. I would give up anything for it... trade anything for it.

In the deepest part of me I could feel the anger from the wolf. His claws sharp and his roar loud to me. As if he knew this reign he had may only be temporary.

I had made a promise to Bella. To always be there for her and I was determined to keep it. She had been faithful not to leave my side and her constant presence served as an anchor for me. She was what I needed most. Her scent alone soothed me far more than any drug could.

There had to be a way I could beat this.

I wanted nothing more than to fulfill every promise I had made her. I wanted to build a life with her... make a thousand more memories and mistakes together. She was what held me to the earth and every time the darkness tried to drown me in this and eat me alive, her voice is what I heard.

"Jacob..."

Why couldn't I answer her?

"Come back to me- please."

I want to but I don't know how, Bells.

"Sam's looking for more answers. He's calling a meeting with the council this evening. He hopes they can help him this time."

They can't do anything for me. They won't have the answers for him.

"There has to be something they can do for you-"

No - They can't free me from this. No one can.

"I'm not going anywhere without you, Jacob."

I want you with me... always.

"You never gave up on me. So I'm not giving up on you. When I was in my own darkness, you were my light, Jacob. You gave me a reason to smile again. You could have left and given up on me, but you never did. Now it's my turn to return the favor... No matter how long it takes. I'll be here when you open your eyes again."

Stay with me, Bells.