A couple of Adjustments have been made, but nothing too major...End Notes will identify them for you
Affinity
Summary: When you're the last human on Earth surrounded by an overprotective but attractive combat gynoid, a sarcastic military AI in a gun, and a maniacal bot that's maintained your apartment for 9,000 years, you tend to lose your marbles. "Pod, what does that mean?" "The human phrase, 'lose your marbles', refers to the exaggerated possibility of one's loss in sanity." "Oh." *sigh*
Character(s): [OC, A2]
Genre(s): Adventure, Romance; Action, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, eventual Comedy
Ratings: M
Warning(s): If you're looking for less drama, watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S or the Office. This is neither. [note: I've never seen either show in full capacity]
Language(s): English : English ; This Fanfiction is not a foreign language simulator.
Crossover(s): NieR : Automata: Day/Night Cycle AU, Some Past Changes (because I'm too lazy to research more than I've had), WBR Ending AU, Human Preservation AU. RAGE: Ark Operation Commenced because of WCS AU, Ark Survives 9,000+ Years AU, Ark Survivor has Voice AU. Other things secret.
Beta(s): N/A. Don't want to look for one. Too fuckin' lazy.
End Notes: Summary updated. I literally changed, like, one word. This is not including the fact that I've changed Warning(s), Language(s), and Beta(s).
Season #1: "Alexander" | Act #1: "Valley of Death"
Disclaimer:
I do not own NieR : Automata, that belongs to Keiichi Okabe.
I do not own any media presented in this Fanfiction, they belong to their respective artists.
I do not own any literature presented in this Fanfiction, they belong to their respective authors.
I do, however, own any and all OCs, AUs, and twisted plot/Canon.
Please support the official releases.
Now, for the love of God, let this Fanfiction begin!
Chapter #1: "The Metalworks"
Location: Ark X
Date: 3 January, 11,942
Time: 3:14 AM
POV: third, (slightly un-)limited, some narration, Alexander José, 27 years of age
Music: "Hey Song" - Gary Glitter and Mike Leander
The 21st of July, 2050, was the dig date for all Arks scattered around the world.
"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!" Pain laced through his skeleton, nanotrites unforgivingly repairing his body.
The original, publicly stated intention, was to remain burrowed...
"Shitshitshitshitshitshit!" A bead of sweat rolled down his cheek, knuckles white hot.
...for a minimum of one year...
"Owowowowowow!" A small drop of blood fell from his fingers, full of small bandages.
...and a maximum of ten.
[Recommendation: Refer to manual to prevent unnecessary injuries,] A-T said, and he could almost detect a sigh at the end, or perhaps he was imagining it due to his deteriorating sanity?
This was supposed to be a test operation.
"I'll die before I'll use a manual!" he immaturely replied with a taste of irritation. "Male pride, ACTIVAAAATE!"
Not the real thing.
[I'm not sure that's how this works, sir.]
"You're an artificial intelligence," Alexander complained, with emphasis on her species, looking up as if he were speaking to a physical figure of her. His face was lightly covered in splotches of transparent oil, and his fingers were very greasy. "You should be saying things like, 'That action is not recommended because I am a machine and have already calculated this'," he mimicked a false, white girl robotic voice in mock tone, before continuing in a normal one, "not saying things like being uncertain or not being sure; because it's creepy to think that a machine isn't able to comprehend basic shit like this even though I know you are, so drop the act." He then dug back into the terminal with his flashlight, wire cutters in hand.
[This personality was recommended to his AI unit for a reason, sir,] she argued - argued, for fuck's sake, those scientists knew what they were doing - [Also, I've already calculated a low chance of success of this current operation, having taken in to account your current - unrecommended - behavior and your refusal to refer to a much simpler manner of completing this operation.]
"Christ, you're like my mother or somethi-OW!" His voice was muffled since he did not raise his head this time. "...I deserve that," he quietly said.
[Affirmative.]
He narrowed his eyes. "You shocked me on purpose, didn't you?"
[...] She did not reply to that.
"...bitch-AIY!"
[That action is not recommended because I am a machine and have already calculated this.]
Sarcasm. They programmed sarcasm incarnate.
Music: "Sugar Skulls" - Envy on the Coast
His stomach growled.
[Recommendation: Return to the cafeteria for nourishment,] she said. [You have been active for 2 days, 14 hours, 13 minutes with little rest nor food.]
"Yeah, yeah," he groused, first heading to the nearest latrine to wash his hands and face, stripping from his recently acquired attire, and entering the shower room. He didn't bother wasting power on the laundromat since he is the last remaining human on this Ark, so nobody else needed their clothes. Thank God for One-Fits-All tech.
He turned on the water.
At first, I nearly lost my fuckin' mind, he narrated.
Hot water cascaded down his body, distracting him for the time being, but also creating a gravitational well for the unwanted thoughts to permeate his mind, and he frowned. "At least A-T isn't getting on to me for hygiene. Looks like I know that in droves..."
Then I started looking at things tactically, he continued. I was surrounded by dead bodies, being the only survivor, and we ran drills sometimes for this. I'm supposed to scrub this place.
A-T was the last remaining artificial intelligence on board that had not fully degraded into base zeros and ones. Surprisingly, even AIs have an expiration date. But, even if her main personality trait - still a total bitch, by the way - is basic sarcasm, it doesn't help the fact that she's gone down a route of insanity only accessible by AIs.
I needed to get outside, establish a situation - but my highest priority is honoring the dead. I'll be doing that a lot in the future by remembering them, for their sakes, in what I suspect will be a lone, and unforgiving world.
He carefully washed his body with the provided soap, and meticulously conditioned his hair to be as smooth as silk.
My first priority was to attempt to establish communication with another Ark.
As soon as he rinsed himself of the suds, he shut off the water supply - saving whatever was left - and after a few moments of deep thought, left the showers to dry off with a towel and get dressed.
But I never got any connection before the scrub.
Music: "New Divide" - Linkin Park
"It's surprisingly good," I said, muffled behind the food in my mouth.
[Recommendation: Do not speak with food in your mouth.]
"You really are like my mother, you know that?"
[I will take that as a compliment.]
"It was."
He sighed after swallowing his food, setting down the burger and lifting up the soda at his left to take a sip. With his right hand, he picked up a writing utensil to pen down a few of his ideas.
"Checkbox one," he started, "establish a connection with the other Arks.
"Checkbox two, establish the outside situation.
"Checkbox three, survive in the world without the Ark."
He took another large bite of his tasty meal.
He'd taken basic and advanced courses provided by the industry responsible for, somehow, choosing him amongst the thousands - a complete laze with basic otaku desires even in the wake of the WCS - living in the Greater Tokyo area. Now he truly needed to apply what he'd learned.
"Haven't thought of applying school shit to real life situations for a long as time," he reminisced back to his high school days, smiling faintly. He then shook his head to focus his thoughts and continued.
"Checkbox four, get the Assembler online.
"Checkbox five, get the training/gym rooms online."
Taking a final bite of his food, he nodded to himself determinedly.
[Applying items to an optimized list,] A-T interrupted, and he couldn't be angry with her. He'll admit, having her keep track would keep him focused. [Recommended Gamma loadout for priority 'establish outside situation'.]
He nodded, mentally tallying each object in the loadout.
End Chapter 1
References:
"Hey Song": by Gary Glitter and Mike Leander.
"Sugar Skulls": by Envy on the Coast.
"New Divide": by Linkin Park.
"-a total bitch, by the way": Refers to Hellsing Ultimate Abridged Episode 2 when Alucard referred to his boss, Integra, as a total bitch over the phone practically to her face. "Ah, good times~"
Comments:
Fan fic fan 759: "I like the idea. Please follow it but don't try to rush the romance"
Reply: "Trust me, I intend to make this rather slow burn. To be honest, he's not supposed to even meet A2 for the longest of times. So far, I feel like I'm accidentally rushing the story a bit, but I'll try to slow down the following chapters. Enjoy!"
Future Content 2
[Recommendation,] began Pod 001, [refer to maintenance bot - designation 3DE-7701 - as to satisfactorily compensate for the aid you received from the human.]
"Alright, alright!" the machine in question groused, catching her attention. "You don't have to use my full name! Just call me Eddie, like he calls me!"
[Designation parameters altered.]
"Thanks," Eddie replied, its rusty, skinny metal arms bent at the elbows and 'hands' at his hips, as if irritated like a human. Its voice was sarcastic. "Dumb Pod," he muttered, rolling his little wheel under the frame of his trash-can like appearance into the small kitchenette of the apartment. "Now, lady," it looked back at her briefly, pointing a clawed digit at her in emphasis, "human boy over there loves good food, especially since it's not in so high production anymore!"
The machine placed a pan on the stove and turned up the gas, light emanating from underneath the black cooking container. He then proceeded to go towards the pseudo refrigerator, producing an artificial carton of eggs.
"Imma teach ya how to cook some eggs for 'im, as he's also not very extravagant with the food he makes 'imself!" The bot had switched accents again, and it ragged on the metal nerves through her system. For the sake of the human, however, she held her robotic tongue from lashing at the annoying little thing.
It already looked like a Stubby - he wouldn't mind if she tore it apart, right?
"What're ya waitin' for, ya bloke? Getchyer ass over 'ere!" The rising and lowering intonation of the machine didn't help her auditory functions and her newly acquired processing chip, and she suppressed the urge to crush Eddie. Its voice then changed be far gentler, like an older man teaching someone."Takes breaking an egg to make an omelette, after all!"
If protecting this human means also dealing with this pile of shit, she has no idea what the fuck she'll do to it, and she hopes the human will forgive her short temper.
End Future Content 2
And now, for the love of God, let the next Fanfiction begin!