CHAPTER FORTY - THREE
(JPOV)
My paws tore through the marshy ground of the forest as I ran without direction, without any true destination in mind. My head filling with the words I had heard before I left...
"I believe Taha Aki is dwelling in Jacob... using his body as a host."
I let out a feral growl, picking up my pace as Bella's face came to the forefront of my loud thoughts.
She was the only damn thing that made any sense. I skidded to a halt, thinking back to when I had first come to, surrounded by people I did not recognize and dwelling in a house I had no recognition of.
It was as if I had been dropped into someone else's reality and the harder I tried to recall who I truly was, the harder the Alpha would fight me. His grip on me had tightened recently, making it hard to breathe sometimes. I struggled to be content on just two legs now... To be a simple human. Everything in me wanted to be one with the forest... wanted to run.
I felt suffocated being cooped up behind four walls. There was a tug to escape from it all, and it took every ounce of strength I had to stay put. I didn't want to be here anymore, but one look at Bella told me I had to stay ... for her. The need to be close to her was almost as suffocating for me as the need to run was. I couldn't satisfy both. I knew this and I hated it.
The night I had taken off from all of them... from all the unfamiliar faces... I was beyond exhausted by the time I had come to a stop, and the harder I tried to run further away, the deeper the ache in my chest would get. I struggled to even breathe as the miles grew. I eventually turned back, giving into the pull that was leading me straight back to Bella. She was tied to me and we had something that ran bone deep... I knew this... If I knew nothing else.
Her face was all I saw and her voice was what I craved most to hear. Just the soft sound of it would quiet some of the incessant chatter in my head. Her mere presence enough to soothe the harsh and biting demands of the Alpha, as it tried to gain further control of the man and erase all humanity from me.
Even my name sounded unfamiliar... Jacob. It wasn't until Bella spoke it that night in her room that I had my first flash of memory, one that made me ache to be with her. The short spark of memory was clear.
... The feel of her beneath me, her hands in my hair and the breathy moans that escaped her...
Her body fit perfect with mine, as if she were made for me and I could hear the wolfs demanding voice as it echoed in my mind
"Claim."
The desire I had for her trumped any other need that night and had calmed the wolf for the time being, but now he was becoming increasingly irritated with the limits placed on him. I felt as if I belonged in the wild and not behind four walls.
The rain began to pour down as the daylight turned into darkness and I found myself being pulled by the same ache in my chest to return to Bella. I
roared in agitation, sensing the Alpha's strong protest and trying to break the hold somehow.
I continued to run until the rain fell in sheets around me and the dull ache in my chest blazed with fury, causing me to stop and duck down to the forest floor. I huffed loudly, trying to rid the feeling, though it would not budge from me. My head suddenly filled with visions of Bella. Her naked form, her scent, the sound of her voice and I rose slowly on shaky legs, the Alpha's roar from my defiance loud and menacing as I turned back and ran full tilt for her house once again.
The closer I got to her back yard, the more visions of her I would have.
... Bella's laughter beside me as she tossed me a wrench in a garage I didn't remember being in... The feel of her lips the first time I kissed her... The taste of her.
Desire ran thick and heavy through me, as I drew near to the clearing that gave way to her house, my wolf gaze fixed on the light coming from her bedroom window. I huffed, pacing back and forth by the tree line, and seeing no police cruiser parked in the driveway now.
The sound of a tree branch snapping made me growl as I whipped my head to the left, seeing the same man everyone called Sam slowly approaching me with caution. His human form startling me.
"I can't communicate with you, Jacob. We've all tried. There's no pack mind link like before. We used to communicate that way. I'm not sure why we can't now. But I wanted you to know we were here. We've been keeping watch over Bella's house - Since you left."
I huffed my reply, not following his words and seeing his eyes narrow as he took another step my way. "Charlie just left for his shift at the station. He won't be back until dawn-"
I looked him over, seeing his gaze wander to Bella's lit window with a nod. The Alpha within roared furiously at my disobedience and I struggled not to cower to him, a whine escaping me from the effort.
"We'll figure this all out, Jacob. Stay here... stop running." Sam sighed, turning from me with a tired expression.
I watched as he phased back into his wolf, falling in line with a smaller grey wolf who stood by his side. I retreated further into the woods and phased back to human form, my body aching from the change now. It was becoming harder for me to phase back and I struggled to walk toward Bella's house, my steps slow and painful as the sound of her heartbeat flooded my mind. I paused by the base of the large tree closest to her room, my strength nearly gone from my running and from the Alpha's dominant reign.
I sucked in a solid breath, climbing the tree quickly and idling on the thick branch that barely touched Bella's bedroom window. I watched as she paced back and forth, her hands going into her hair several times before she turned her worried gaze toward me, her eyes widening when she saw me crouched there. She was quick to throw the small window open and reach out for me. Her small frame coming dangerously close to the edge and making me instinctively lurch forward, catching her arm in my hand as I climbed in through. I released her, noticing her timid gaze when she saw that I was naked. Her eyes wandering down my bare chest and her breath coming out in a shaky gasp when she tried to speak.
"You left."
The hurt in her tone made me raise my head to meet her gaze, seeing the worry and disappointment there.
"I'm sorry." I apologized, trying to make the pain in her voice go away.
She bit down on her bottom lip and wrapped her arms around herself. The action was small and seemingly insignificant, but I felt the ache in my chest return from seeing her try to hold herself together. I focused on her face, my mind filling with another memory of her... a memory of the two of us in her kitchen downstairs when she had held herself in the same way, her eyes welling with tears when she told me, "I can't be fixed, Jacob... You can't fix me like a car. I'm never gonna run right."
I blinked, seeing her look at me in confusion when I reached out for her, pulling her arms away from her midsection and drawing her closer to me.
"Don't do that."
She sucked in a sharp breath, her hands trembling in mine as I kissed her forehead.
"You always hated that."
"I still do."
She pulled away from me then, placing distance between us as she paced the floor on the other side of her bedroom. Her worry was clear in her gaze and I wanted to ease her mind, but didn't know how.
"Do you want me to leave?" I asked, balling my hands into fists as I braced myself for her possible rejection, knowing it would knock the wind out of me.
"No!" She quickly replied, her body trembling with her nerves now. All this was taking a toll on her. It was plain to see.
My eyes swept over the flimsy white tank top she was wearing, seeing the way it hugged her bare breasts and feeling the heavy lust cloud my vision in response. I swallowed hard, adverting my gaze and trying to drown out the loud demand of the Alpha as it chanted, "Claim," in my head over and over.
I bit back a growl, knowing if I didn't somehow distract myself, the Alpha would win this fight.
"Jacob..."
My head rose to see Bella's eyes full of tears and the sight of it made me hurt for her.
"Are you... staying here with me?"
The desperate plea in her voice was evident and I hated myself for it, because the truth was, everything in me wanted to run again. It was a constant push and pull and I was growing tired and weary from it.
I couldn't answer her for the fear of telling her a lie.
She stood from her bed, her tears falling down her ivory cheeks.
"You are leaving... aren't you?"
I felt choked, like someone had their hand around my throat, making it hard to breathe.
"I-..."
My words were cut short at the sight of her slowly walking towards me, her gaze on mine as she took off her thin tank top, dropping it to the floor without a second glance.
I let out a breath, my eyes falling to take in her smooth skin and my desire swelling at the sight of her full breasts.
"I can see it, Jacob... in your eyes- ... I need you, too."
I crossed the room in two long strides, my lips claiming hers as I pulled her easily up into my arms. She felt weightless, her small and delicate frame pressed tightly to mine, as her legs wrapped around my waist. A low growl escaped me when her tongue met my own in a heated kiss, my free hand coming to knead her full breast. She whimpered and her back arched as I laid her down beneath me on the bed. She was eager to rid any offending barriers between us and the sweet scent of her arousal filled the room, making the Alpha's demand in my head grow to shouting.
"CLAIM."
I fought against it, something else pulling me away from the shouting voice in my head.
"No..." I breathed against Bella's lips, feeling her still in my arms, her eyes meeting mine with concern. I kissed her again, getting lost in her scent and the feel of her silky skin beneath mine. She moaned aloud when my tongue swirled her pert nipple, her hips thrusting upward. I trailed my tongue down her flat stomach, the heavy scent of her arousal hanging in the air as I tasted her sweet flesh, feeling her slick folds glide under my tongue. She cried out and the voice inside my head would not be silenced, like a chant I could not stop, or an order that had been given and could not be disobeyed.
I felt the weight of the Alpha's command sink heavily into my veins and I succumbed to it.
A/N: Don't kill me! There is more coming tomorrow! Please review and tell me what you think. Will Jacob be lost to the wolf? Or will he fight it to stay human for Bella? Will his memories return? Can she help him recall who he was? Thank you for your thoughts and as always... HAPPY READING! :-)