Chapter 2: Love and Loss

Nessie's POV

I could feel nothing but pain. Excruciating pain. Like fire was radiating out through my entire body from head to toe extinguishing everything in its path. I could hear myself screaming through the pain. Pleading and begging for someone to come put out the fire that was surely consuming my body. Then I was pleading for death to just come and take me out of my misery

I could hear my own heart pick up in speed. Beating as hard as it could as if it were trying to fight against the pain that was all consuming. After what felt like an eternity I felt the pain leave begin to leave my toes. An odd coolness took over and began to spread as the fire lessened. Until all of a sudden the pain vanished completely. My heart was still beating fast. Yet, there was no more pain to fight against.

I opened my eyes slowly and everything was crystal clear. It was like if my eye sight had been in standard definition before and had now switched over to ultra high definition. Never had my eyesight been so clear before. I didn't recognize my surroundings either. Someone must've picked me up and dumped in this cave and I was in too much pain to even realize what was happening.

Now all the pain was gone. Except for the burning pain I felt in my throat. It was unlike any sore throat I had ever experienced in my life. It was torturous and I'd give anything to get rid of it right now. I could hear a river nearby but oddly enough the water wasn't I needed despite my painful throat. When I stepped out of the cave I realized that it was daytime.

I caught the scent of something delicious in the air. A smell that made the flames in my throat burn ten times worse than they had just two seconds ago. The burn was all that I could think about. I followed the smell that promised to rid me of the pain. The smell led to a young hiker that had fallen and injured himself. He was no older than maybe 16 or 17 years old. He was on the ground bleeding.

The scent radiating off of him caused something in me to snap and I attacked without hesitation or provocation. I sunk my teeth into the surprised man's neck and drank. The blood tasted so good as it soothed the pain in my throat. I drank and drank and drank until there was not a single drop of blood left in his body.

I released his neck and let his body drop to the floor. That was when it hit me. That was when I realized what I had done. I had just killed a man. I had just killed a man for no reason at all. I was a monster. I attacked and killed him for no reason.

My heartbeat took off at rocket like speed as fear took over my body. The realization of what I had just done came crashing down upon me like a boulder. I had just killed a man. I was a monster. A true monster. Just like the man in my memory had told me that I was.

I couldn't breathe no matter how hard I tried. My heart would not slow down how much I wished that it would. Fear of what I'd done and what I'd become had taken over me. I had gone crazy. I had lost control and gone crazy. The fear saturated every single part of my body. My muscles tensed up and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't seem to get enough air. I felt dizzy, nauseous, and completely disgusted with myself.

I walked away as I tried to get a handle on my emotions. I wasn't sure how long it took for the anxiety to completely leave my system but it felt like a long time. I tried not to think about what I did because whenever I did it brought on the anxiety all over again.

Somehow I stumbled upon the sight of the car accident. The car was gone but I could still smell blood. The scent was fading but it was still there. My kids were nowhere to be found so I hoped that they had been found and saved.

I decided to follow the fading scent hoping it would lead to my kids. I was able to follow the scent all the way to a hospital.

Then I smelled blood. Fresh blood. The monster in me tried to take over but I fought back with all of my might. It wasn't until I saw two doctors walk out and heard them talking that I snapped out of it. It was what they were saying that caught my attention.

"So sad what happened to those kids," the first doctor said. "Poor Bella is so scared and keeps crying for her mother and her baby brother isn't doing much better,"

"It is sad indeed. Losing their brother and mother at once,"

I felt my anxiety takeover again and I started to hyperventilate. "The boy is already dead," the man with the red eyes had said. "and it won't be longer before the girl and baby are dead too,"

My son was dead. My six year old son was dead! I started crying and no matter how hard I tried the tears wouldn't stop flowing. First my husband dies and now two weeks later my son. I couldn't take it anymore the pain was too much.

"Yeah sad there going to end up in foster care since they don't have anymore relatives,"

Foster care? My kids in foster care? The more I thought about it though the more I realized they were better off in foster care. I just snapped and killed a man. Drained every drop of blood from his body for no reason. What if I did that to my kids? I could never live with myself if I harmed with one of my own children.

At least they were alive. They were young. Bella only four years old and Carl only three months old. Hopefully they were young enough that they'd eventually forget about the trauma that happened to them. I know for sure my baby was. They'd get adopted by good loving families and more importantly they were safe from me.

So it was a heavy heart that I left without even seeing them. I'd lost everything. My husband and now my kids. I had nothing left. Absolutely nothing.

I couldn't stop the tears as they rolled out of my eyes down my face. The pain of losing everything was just eating me alive. I walked back in the exact direction that I'd come from. Leading me back to the cave I'd come from.

The weight and pain of all the events crashed down upon and caused me to collapse in exhaustion. I'd heard that losing a child was painful and it was a pain that I hoped I would never experience. Now I've lost all three at once. I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of my son being dead. I couldn't fathom the idea that he'd only gotten six years on this planet. It wasn't fair. It wasn't supposed to be this way. A mother shouldn't ever have to lose her kids.

"If she survives this I'll tell her you didn't make it. That's what I'll tell everyone. It'll be like you never existed," I shuddered when the flashback I had a few days ago suddenly resurfaced. The man with the bronze hair and golden eyes was my biological father. He tried to kill me and if my biological mother was still alive he's been lying to her this whole time.

That would mean my mom has believed I've been dead for 26 y years. I can't imagine being in this kind of pain for so long. I had to find her. I had to let her know that I was alive. If I couldn't save myself from the painful loss of a child maybe I could save her.

I heard a noise and looked up immediately. There at the entrance of the cave was a huge wolf. Reddish brown in color. Extremely huge and extremely beautiful. He looked just as surprised to see me as I was to see him.

His body shook with excitement and he ran over to me. I wasn't scared. In fact I was in awe of him. He licked my face a bunch of times and I couldn't help but throw my arms around his massive neck.

He reminded me of my dog Blue. He was a yellow Labrador I got when I was eight years old. Blue was the most loving, playful, and loyal dog a person could ever have.

I was out walking him one night when I was 17 when I was suddenly attacked by a two men. The men tried to rape me but Blue protected me and fought the men. Unfortunately that cost my dog his life when one of the guys took out a knife and stabbed him.

Watching my best friend bleed to death out there on the cold hard pavement is one of the most painful things you could ever imagine. Anyone whose ever loved a dog knows that losing one is like losing a member of your family because they are family.

The wolf brought me back to the present by licking the tears that had fallen from my eyes. He looked at me sadly and whimpered.

He nudged my stomach gently with his cold wet nose and to my shock I felt something kick in response.

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