Apparently, I was trying to make myself cry again, cause this chapter just about killed me. Something about those dark-haired FT boys just gets to me. I'd say I hope you enjoy this chapter, but I think we both know this part is too dark to really enjoy. So I guess I hope it touches you, sparks an emotion in your heart, maybe brings a tear to your eye. Anything to let me know I made it real enough to make you feel something.

As always, Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail, and I only own this horrifically heartbreaking plot.

CHAPTER 32: GUILTY ALL THE SAME

ROGUE'S POV

It had been decided almost immediately and quite firmly that Lucy would join the others in the guild infirmary, which meant I'd be staying at Fairy Tail for the duration. The thought of doing so was nerve-wracking, taking the potential for hazard in this situation to a whole new level.

Because if Minerva ever discovered that I was not only assisting a member of this guild, but also staying there among the lot of them, there would be hell to pay. The woman had made it her mission in life to take Fairy Tail down, and I had already found myself a spot on her shit list for my refusal to back her in the Grand Magic Games after she'd tortured the very Fairy I was now helping. This new development was only going to piss her off, not to mention up the danger quotient for me.

But I couldn't have refused to go. Lucy had latched onto me like the last stable place in the universe, her fingers clutching at my shirt like she was afraid I'd disappear. There was no way I could have abandoned her, especially not after what had just happened.

Somehow, in spite of how badly I'd messed up, she still wanted me with her. She still trusted me, and I couldn't quite believe it. She had every right to be angry at me or at the very least be nervous about putting her faith in me again, but she wasn't. She seemed completely sure about me, like I hadn't just failed her in the worst possible way ever.

She really was something else, and I could see just why so many people loved her. She truly was the most forgiving person I'd ever met, and I was grateful for it. Because I could never make this up to her. I couldn't erase the fear that reared up inside her, couldn't dispel the worry that crept across her features every so often.

And that was all on me. The truth was I could have prevented it. I should have protected her better.

Here, I had promised I would keep her safe, and I had broken my word. I'd left her alone, open to attack, and consequently had nearly lost her to the same sadistic bastard who'd hurt her in the first place. Maybe Makarov was right to bring her back to Fairy Tail. Maybe I wasn't the right man for this job.

But how could I abandon her? Even now, as she lay in that narrow little bed beside her friend, her hand was clenched around mine as if even in sleep she couldn't bear for us to be separated.

It hurt something inside me to see her this way again, sending guilt churning in my belly. This was all my fault. I had failed again, and once again, someone had gotten hurt. And I didn't have a clue how to go about making her feel secure again.

God, she'd been doing so well. She'd made such incredible progress with her recovery, and now...there was no telling how far this would set her back. How long would it take for her to smile again, to utter that soft tinkling laugh again?

Surely all that couldn't be gone. All her hard work couldn't be for nothing, not because of me, not because of my mistake. My chest ached as I watched her sleep, that old familiar coldness seeping into my veins at the thought of all I'd cost this woman with my foolish arrogance. I'd thought I had it all figured out, but I'd been so wrong.

And it had cost her. It had cost her dearly. And it wasn't just her. My mistake had nearly robbed every member of this guild of the people they loved. Not just Lucy, but Natsu and Cana and the little Script mage who'd been Lucy's best friend. How could I possibly make this right?

GRAY'S POV

I sat there beside Cana's still form with my head in my hands. It had been hours since the attack, and though Wendy had assured me that Cana was going to be fine, I couldn't help fearing the worst. Why wasn't she waking up? It scared me, making it impossible to rest.

I just needed to know she was okay. It wasn't that I doubted Wendy's abilities. I knew the worry was irrational. The little blue-haired girl was competent mage and a skilled healer, but my heart refused to settle until I saw her pretty brown eyes open. Only then would I know she was okay. Only then could I breathe easy, well as easy as I could with so much agony to deal with.

It seemed unreal that so many of my friends lined the beds of our infirmary. Lucy finally passed out after a total melt down, Cana still unresponsive, Levy breathing evenly for the first time since her arrival, and Natsu barely scraping by with his life. Their still forms haunted me, souring my stomach with such regret. I felt nauseous, and more than once, I'd risen from his seat with bile rising up my throat.

I was sick with grief, with anger. God, I was seething.

I'd almost lost so many I loved. And it hurt. It hurt so bad knowing it was my fault. I should have listened to Rogue. I should have known better. I'd gotten complacent, been so naïve to believe we were invulnerable. Hadn't Lucy's attack taught me that?

How could I have been so stupid? A quiet sob slipped from my mouth, and I clasped a hand over my lips, desperate to keep the sound in. I didn't deserve to sit here like this, feeling sorry for myself, not while they lay there weak and injured because of me.

"Gray..."

Her call was soft and only barely perceptible, but it made no difference. I'd know that voice anywhere, and it brought a cry of relief from my mouth. I shot forward and clawed desperately at her hand. "Cana?"

I sounded a wreck, shaky and broken, but I couldn't bring myself to care because she was awake and blinking wearily up at me. She tilted her head to the side, and I watched her eyes widen as she took in the bodies stretched out to the sides of her. "Are they...are they okay?"

My eyes filled at her concern, and I nodded my head. "They're gonna be fine."

She sighed, her shoulders slumping in relaxation. "Thank Mavis."

I looked down at our hands, studying the way my hands engulfed hers and couldn't help imagining how differently this whole thing could have turned out. "God Cana...I was so scared. When I walked in there and saw you all like that..."

My voice broke, and I shook my head, trying in vain to stifle my tears. The thought of losing them was killing me. It felt like it was damn near ripping my heart out of my chest.

"Hey..." She lifted a hand to my face, her fingers clumsily but so tenderly brushing across my cheek. "I'm okay. We're all okay. That's all that matters."

But I couldn't accept that. Because that's not all that mattered. I should have been there. I should have kept her safe. I should have kept them all safe. I shook my head violently. "I shouldn't have left you all there. This is my fault-"

"Gray, don't start that shit again."

I could hear the steel in her voice. It held only a fraction of the fire it usually did, but it was there. And if the flashing in her eyes was anything to go by, she was pissed. "We all fucked up. We all thought it was safe. We should have considered that he'd be watching, but we didn't."

"But-" I started again, but she cut me off again. "No. He failed, and we survived. Don't let the 'should haves' distract you from what's important. We're together, and we're safe. That's all that matters now."

I wanted to believe her. I wished I could just let it go, but my guilt was not so easily assuaged. Regardless of her conviction, I knew the role I'd played in this, and I couldn't forget so readily. Not with the evidence of my crimes lying atop beds to every side of me.

But I knew Cana would hear no more. She was adamant and more stubborn than a mule when she was set on an idea. Nothing I said would change her mind, and with the weight of regret resting so squarely on my shoulders, neither could I. We were at an impasse with no end in sight.

So I bit my tongue and leaned up to kiss her forehead. "I'm so glad you're okay. I don't know what I would have done..."

"Gray..."

She looked up at me as if she knew what I was doing, her eyes pleading with me to believe her, but that was impossible. I knew what I'd done, and no amount of words, no matter how precious, could erase that.

I offered her what I knew had to be a pathetic smile and stood to my feet. "I'm gonna go get Wendy. She'll want to check you out now that you're awake."

STING'S POV

"Someone want to tell me just where the hell Rogue's run off to?!"

It was what I'd dreaded, but certainly something I'd been expecting. I knew it wouldn't be long before Minerva noticed my partner's disappearance, and with Frosch not gone with him, it was even more suspect.

Our vicious guild master eyed me from her spot at the front of the guild hall, her arms folded across her chest expectantly. It was easy to see she was becoming suspicious of his continued absence, and as her eyes bored into mine, I felt sweat bead on my brow. Would she catch that small sign of nerves? Could she already discern that I was about to spin a tale right to her face?

Cause that was my only way out. I was going to have to lie my ass off, and I knew it would have to be damned good to save our little group. Minerva was a force to be reckoned with at the best of times, but one whiff of deceit and her darker side would come out. Hard to believe there could be such a thing, but she had made it a point to show how cruel she could be when disobeyed more times than I could count.

I was treading on dangerous ground. We all were, only one small misstep separating us from utter destruction. And it was all thanks to Rogue and his bizarre need to help a damn Fairy. Admittedly, I could understand why he'd felt for the girl after I'd seen her in the hospital, but to continue to stay there was only courting trouble. And it wouldn't just be Rogue who'd be going down for the count if he was found out.

No, it was all our asses on the line, and it was beginning to piss me off. I didn't just have himself to think about. There was also Lector to consider, and he'd already been through so much at the hands of the sadistic bitch. I hated to think what she would do to him if she ever found out what we were hiding from her.

I could only imagine the sort of torture she would put us through. That woman had a mind like a steel trap, one full of all manner of vile things, and there was really no telling what horrors lie in wait for anyone foolish enough to cross her.

And at the moment, that fool was me.

Forcing an easy smile on my face, I prepared myself to shoot the biggest line of shit ever heard of in the history of Earthland, and silently promised myself a chance at Rogue's face for putting me in such a position.

"He got tied up with this new chick he met a couple weeks ago," I said with a salacious wink to really sell it. All across the guild, heads came up, faces etched with surprise, and I lifted my hands in front of me and laughed. "Hey, shocked me too. She's not exactly a looker either if you know what I mean, but I guess she's not bad for his first time. "

Several laughs shot up around the room, many of them turning back to what they were doing as if already accepting my tale. But it wasn't them I had to worry about. It was the bitch with the sadistic streak a mile wide, the one that was even now eyeing me suspiciously.

"I have no interest in his..." She lifted her lip in a sneer. "...personal life, but he is a mage of Sabertooth. As such, he is expected to take jobs regularly. I will not tolerate laziness in those of you lucky enough to bear our mark."

I knew it would come to that. She honestly had no interest in any of her members, in their wellbeing, in their lives. All that mattered to her was how the guild appeared to the whole of Fiore. She was determined...no, she was obsessed with becoming the strongest in the country, and everything she did, everything she thought was a reflection of that. And heaven help anyone who stood in her way.

I lifted my shoulders innocently. "I'm sure he'll be back soon. I doubt that girl could hold anyone's attention for too long," I joked, keeping up my carefree pretense.

"Mark my words, Sting. I am not to be trifled with." She stood to her feet with a flourish and marched toward me, a snide smirk on her face. "He had best return shortly, and if I have so much as an inkling that your story isn't true, I will make your lives a living hell." She leaned forward, putting her face as close to mine as possible without touching. "Because trust me...he won't be the only one to pay."

I swallowed hard and nodded. There was no missing the evil glint in her eye, almost like she was hoping we'd done something worthy of punishment, and considering how completely insane she was, that was highly likely. The woman was downright certifiable.

Too bad she wasn't stupid. It would make everything so much easier, covering this Fairy business up...surviving until next week. What a fucking disaster. Why the hell hadn't they left Sabertooth before she'd taken over? Oh right, because she would have killed them all.

They were royally screwed, so completely fucked it wasn't even funny. I had the worst kind of feeling about this, that sinking sensation that warned of trouble, of someone getting hurt. And every instinct I possessed was screaming that it would be my idiot friend.

I sighed as I made my way out the door. I'd have to warn him. There was nothing else to do. I couldn't just let Rogue hang himself this way. It was time to come home, Fairy be damned.