Okay, so I'm just going to warn you now that parts of this chapter are kinda sad. In the words of Nicole4211, I'm 'going to kill' my readers. lol Let's hope I don't kill you guys!

Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail.

CHAPTER 34: IT NEVER ENDS

ERZA'S POV

I pushed my way into the guild, past our guildmates and rushed up to the second floor. I'd been frantic since I'd heard from Master about the attack, and no amount of assurances could convince me that everyone was fine until I saw them with my own eyes. Though once I saw her and our friends, I wasn't sure I could ever believe such a thing anyway.

So many people I loved lay there in those beds, so many of my friends hurt by a monster who'd stolen Lucy from us. How many more would he harm? How many times would he manage to evade us?

My hard-won mask cracked as I moved further into the room. I didn't know where to go first, who to check on. I couldn't seem to decide who needed me most, and that bothered me. I'd never been the indecisive type, never hesitated like this, but this situation was making me question myself in ways I'd never imagined.

Suddenly a voice called out to me, a hand startling me out of my thoughts, and I looked up to find Mira beside me. Her face was soft with sympathy, her touch gentle with understanding. "Are you alright, Erza?"

What a question. No, I wasn't. I didn't think I'd be alright for a long, long time, but I nodded anyway. "I just wasn't sure who I should check on first."

Those bright eyes of her narrowed just a bit, as if she knew I'd lied, but she let it pass and pointed toward the last bed. "Natsu's awake if you want to talk to him."

I could almost hear the question in her statement, the one wondering if I'd forgiven my pink-haired team mate, if his sacrifice had wiped the slate clean. She needn't have hinted at it. I would have told her if she'd asked, but first, I wanted to let him know.

"I do. Thanks."

With that simple response, I moved around her and walked toward him, casting a glance at each and every one of our injured as I went past. I still couldn't believe what had happened. How could one man do so much damage? How had he managed to take down so many strong mages?

Once more, worry swelled inside me, and my throat closed. I wanted to cry at the still visible marks on their bodies. If only I'd been here instead of chasing all over Magnolia to find that sorry bastard. I wasn't so conceited to believe that I could have succeeded where they'd failed, but I'd have much rather fought beside them than show up later to see the damage.

Rogue looked up as I made my way past Lucy's bed, and I found his face startlingly expressive, his eyes haunted in a way I'd never seen before. It was disturbing and frightening all at once, making me wonder just what they'd all been through while I was gone. Because something told me it would take a lot for him to discard that immovable mask of his.

My gaze inched down to my blonde friend, and I found her curled into Rogue's side, the fingers of one hand barely onto his shirt. It was almost like even in sleep, she couldn't bear to let him go, and that broke my heart. What had she been through today?

Turning my head, I continued on to Natsu. There were things I needed to say to him, and I knew if I didn't do it now while Lucy was asleep, there was a good chance I wouldn't get around to it.

LUCY'S POV

I came to slowly, climbing my way out of that dark abyss to find myself wrapped up in someone's arms. I knew this embrace well, recognized the strength in his arms and the beat of his heart. It was Rogue. Not a figment of my imagination, not a deception meant to lure me in and trick me. It was really him...healthy, whole, and all at once, I felt a wave of relief sweep over me.

He was alive.

That one refrain was all it took to calm the terrors that swamped me, to silence the fears that stood ready to drown me. He was alive.

Still, that nightmare haunted me, still caused a sheen of tears to build behind my closed lids. The thought of this man ceasing to exist was too much to bear, and I knew I'd never be able to forgive myself if something were to happen to him.

It was too dangerous for him by my side. Tatankan said he'd be back, and I didn't dare mistake that for anything other than the truth. He would return, and he would stop at nothing to take me back. And when he did, everyone would be hurt again. Rogue could be hurt.

There was no way I could handle that, so I had to find a way to keep him safe. And there was only one chance for that to happen. He had to go. He had to leave me and go back to his guild. If he wasn't with me anymore, he wouldn't be in harm's way anymore.

My chest ached at the thought of him leaving. He had become my light in the darkness, my strength and courage. How would I manage without him? How would I face the terrors that stalked me in the night?

But I couldn't be selfish. I couldn't let him stay here knowing what could happen. It was time for me to let him go. No matter happened to me, Rogue needed to be safe. He had to live.

A sob climbed my throat as I faced the hard truth of my future. I wasn't going to make it. Tatankan had said as much, and I was beginning to see it myself. He was never going to let me go. And maybe Fairy Tail could protect me. Maybe they could beat him, but at what cost? How many people would have to pay for my life?

No, this couldn't go on. If I wanted that dream to never become reality, Rogue had to go, and I had to accept my fate. I was never coming back from this anyway, so what did it matter? I wasn't the girl they loved anymore. I was a pathetic shadow of who I used to be.

It would be better if they just let me go now, said goodbye to the girl they'd known before. She was dead already anyway, so what was the use of hanging on?

As long as I existed, they'd all be in danger. There would be no moments of peace so long as I stayed here, no chance of happiness for them. And I couldn't be the reason for that. It would destroy me in a whole other way to be the cause of such a thing.

Something inside me wrenched as I imagined them all. I'd never meant to hurt them, never meant to cause so much agony for Fairy Tail. They'd been my shelter, my home, the first I'd had in such a long time, and now...

Now the people I called family were at risk. I'd been saved, but not completely. I was still so far from what I used to be.

The truth be told, it had all been for nothing. I had survived only to bring more pain to Fairy Tail. It seemed that was all I did, first with my father and Phantom Lord, then that damn clock piece. I was always unwittingly dragging the ones I loved into danger, and I hated it. I hated myself for every wound that littered their bodies. Every cut, every bruise, every crimson drop of blood was my doing, my burden, and I wouldn't soon forget it.

I couldn't. Even with my eyes closed, I could see their bodies broken and still on my floor, their blood staining the wooden surface beneath them. And it was all because they were trying to save me. It was so unfair. They shouldn't have to sacrifice themselves for someone who would only bring them more strife.

I had to end this before someone else got hurt. It had gone on long enough, the running, the hiding, the avoiding death. It was time to face the music. I was living on borrowed time, and I refused to take them down with me.

FREED'S POV

I couldn't believe what had happened. Even hours later, I was still in shock. How had we gotten it so wrong? How had that evil man gotten into Lucy's house?

It was unfathomable to me how such a thing could have occurred. I'd worked on the runes for her house with painstaking care, and it had been perfect. I'd made certain that no one but Fairy Tail and Rogue could enter, and yet...somehow he had managed it without an ounce of trouble.

Expelling a heavy sigh, I dropped my head in my hands. Even with my eyes closed, I could see it. The ruin of that house would haunt me for a lifetime. To see the members of our guild so close to death was a pain I was unprepared for. With Lucy, it had been a description, words, and that had been bad enough. But to see it with my own eyes...

Poor Levy had been so pale, her arm outstretched toward Lucy as if even in her pain, she'd been trying to reach her friend. Cana had been just as bad, with a smear of her blood standing out so starkly on the wall behind her head and her body sprawled out like a doll with it's strings cut. Her cards had been strewn around her in a glaring show of defiance. It was easy to see she'd fought hard.

Then there was Happy. I'd never seen the small cat so still, so quiet. He was a happy thing, his personality matching his name perfectly, and it pained me to find the Exceed so horribly silenced. But the hardest to take was Natsu. The man was a force unto himself with a fighting spirit as big as the beast he called a father. He feared nothing, denied any hint of defeat, and yet, there he'd been, lying in a pool of his own blood.

As long as I lived, I would never forget the sight of the red liquid that bubbled out of his mouth or the gurgling sounds it made. It was the stuff of nightmares. Not the ones that resembled horror movies, but the ones that you knew could be true, the ones that left your skin clammy and your heart pounding in your chest.

And Lucy...oh Mavis... One look at her trying to sink into the corner she'd huddled herself into, and I'd known she had seen too much. She was snapping, the horror of everything she'd gone through staining her troubled mind just like the crimson stain on her hands. We could see her falling apart, and there hadn't been a damn thing we could do about it.

It was one of the most heartbreaking things I'd ever seen, a memory that would plague my dreams in the days to come. It was a frightening thought, one that had me fearing sleep for the first time in years. I felt like a child trying to cover their head to avoid the monsters that lurked in the darkest.

But this monster was real and far more powerful than we'd expected him to be. We had underestimated him, and our friends had suffered because of it.

The knowledge pained me, weighed me down. It was a burden I couldn't ignore. No matter how much I wished it weren't true, this was my fault. Master had trusted me to protect them, to shield Lucy's home from one adversary, and I had failed.

I should have known there was more to this mage based on the way he'd managed to slip out of my rune traps. I should have put it together, but I hadn't. My mind had still been worn from the day before, my magic still recovering from the overuse on the traps Tatankan had eluded. But that was no excuse.

Nothing could excuse what I'd done, what I'd allowed to happen in my ignorance. It was a mark against me, the likes of which I knew I'd never make up for. It was worse than what I'd let Laxus do, what I'd helped him do to our guild mates on that fateful day so long ago. Before, people had been hurt, seriously injured fighting one another, but everyone had come through okay. But this time...this time, I wasn't sure everyone would make it through unscathed.

What had I done?

That question stole the air from my lungs, and I found myself shaking with barely restrained tears. How had I missed it? How had I not guessed the reason he'd so easily slipped out of my traps?

My lack in judgement had cost our friends. It had hurt them as surely as if I'd delivered the blows myself, and dear Mavis, that was a pain I wasn't sure I could bear. I'd made mistakes before, and I'd tried so hard since my return to Fairy Tail to make up for those, to redeem myself. But how could I come back from this? How could I stand before the lot of them and make amends for what they'd endured?

A hand came down hard on my back, and then I was hauled up from my seat and out the back door. It took no thought to realize that it was Laxus. I could never mistake his gruff handling for anyone else. I didn't even bother glancing back. I'd known him long enough to understand that he would say nothing until we were where he wanted us to be, so I let him lead me where he would and said nothing.

He pulled me to a stop a moment later, spinning me around roughly and giving me a little shove into the wall behind me. "What the fuck are you doing?"

I blinked at him, confused at his sudden question. "I...I'm not doing anything, Laxus."

"You think I don't know? You think I can't see what you're thinking?" he growled, giving my shoulder another jab. "I can practically smell the guilt you're wallowing in!"

I drew in a sharp breath at his words, but there was nothing I could say. I had no defense. He was right. I was as guilty as they came, and there was nothing I could do about the regret that poured off of me. I messed up, worse than I'd ever messed up before, and the consequences of that wouldn't be leaving me any time soon.

"Laxus..."

"Shut up!" He cut me off, his gaze fierce in the low light of the sinking sun. "There's no damn way you could have known what he was. None of us did. We were all just as confused as you were. This isn't your fault!"

How I wished that were true. "I should have known. I should have figured it out. The signs were all there - the smoke beasts that return to him after defeat, the way he slipped out of that rune trap, the way he avoided every trap after that. It should have been easy for me to see it!"

"Why? Because you're smarter than the rest of us? Because you know more than every damn body else?" He shook his head in frustration before trying to reason with me again. "Freed, you know as well as I do how few mages can change their own bodies into their element. The odds of him having that ability were slim. You know that!"

He was right. I did know how scarce that was in a mage, especially one that used a summoning type of magic, but he was wrong too. I didn't feel this way because I thought I was smarter. I felt like this because they'd all believed in me, trusted in me, and I'd let them all down.

All at once, my eyes filled, then spilled down my cheeks. I turned my head away, wishing Laxus not to see me break down like this. He was my idol, my friend, and that wasn't something I wanted him to ever witness. I hated exposing such weakness in front of him, but the pain inside me was just too much to bear silently.

Once again, his hand came down on my shoulder, this time a fraction softer than before. "Dammit Freed. Don't do this to yourself. Don't make it about you. You did the best you could."

Emotion welled up inside me, choking me with an awful mix of remorse at my mistake and hope that Laxus was right. But he couldn't be. I was to blame. My head shook slowly. There had to be something I could have done to protect them.

"Yes you did!" he yelled again, giving my shoulders a quick shake. "You nearly collapsed from all you did to catch this bastard! And even though your magic hadn't fully returned, you still went to Lucy's to give her more protection!"

"But it didn't work!" The words burst from my mouth with a sob. "It didn't protect her! It didn't protect a damn soul! Don't you get it? I failed them!"

"No, you didn't..."

The soft voice drew both of our gazes, and my eyes widened in horror to find Mira standing there, observing my break down. I spun around, wiping furiously at my eyes. What was she doing out here?

"I'll take it from here, Laxus."

I wanted to tell her no, demand that she return to the guild, but before I could, Laxus was already giving me what I'm sure he thought was a reassuring pat on the back and walking back toward the door. Why the hell was he listening to her?

Closing my eyes, I drew in a deep breath, exhaling it all out slowly before deciding Mira couldn't be ignored. I let my eyes open and nearly jumped back when I realized that she had moved to stand in front of me. She offered me a gentle smile and reached for my hand. "Freed..."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"But it sounds like you need to."

My pride rebelled at the thought of talking about my failure with her, but there had been very few times in years I'd known Mira that I'd been able to deny her. I wondered how long it would be before I folded.

Thankfully, she didn't push me, instead lifting a hand to my cheek and whispering softly, "Don't be so hard on yourself, Freed. We all know you did everything you could. Why can't you see that?"

I shuddered beneath her perusal but didn't say anything. I could barely find the air to breathe, let alone speak. But Mira didn't seem to require a response as she continued, "You expect too much of yourself. You always have, but we aren't perfect. Do you fault me for not seeing ahead of time that things were changing between Natsu and Lisanna? Maybe I should have noticed that they were getting closer. Maybe if i had, I could have prevented this whole thing from happening."

My eyes locked onto her, finding her own gaze dark with emotion and shining with tears. Did she really feel that way? Did she really wonder if she could have stopped it all?

Suddenly, I couldn't remain silent. "Mira, no. You can't believe that. How would you have known their feelings would change or that they'd act on those feelings? You're not a mind reader. You're not a psychic."

Her lips trembled at my emphatic assurance. "You're right. I'm not, and neither are you. You protected Lucy and the others the best that you could, and that's all anyone could ask. Maybe it didn't stop him this time, but that's not your fault. Everything that's happened...everyone that's been hurt...that's on him. He's the enemy, Freed. He's the one we need to beat, not ourselves."

My eyes filled at her heartfelt plea, and I found myself pulling her into a hug, my arms crushing her tightly to me. "Alright..."