Chapter 6: Journey

Nessie's POV

I felt a longing in my heart when I saw wolf Jacob and his daughter sleeping side by side peacefully that night. I longed for the nights when my children and I would cuddle up together like that. I longed for all the precious moments I had with my children. Children I was sure I'd never see again.

I felt a kick in my lower stomach which reminded me that I had another child on the way. Jacob thinks it's possible for me to get my kids back but I'm not so sure that was a good idea. I was a monster now. What if I hurt my own kids?

I sighed as I watched as I watched Sarah snuggling closer to her father in her sleep. Than I remembered that she and Jacob too were suffering a loss. Jacob had told me a bit about Leah. It was clear to me how much and he their daughter all loved and cared for one another.

All off the wall she and Leah had disappeared without a trace. She'd gone off one morning to go hunting and she never returned. Jacob searched everywhere she could but there was not a single trace of her. It was as if she had simply vanished off the face of the Earth. That was months ago.

Now it was just them two. Ever since her mother's disappearance Jacob has been extremely overprotective of Sarah.

When I woke up the next morning of the two of them were still asleep. So rather than disturb them I went into town on my own. I found a dealership that sold used cars. The cars seemed like they were all in good shape and would last a long time. So I bought a used Toyota Prius.

After buying the car I went to the store to buy clothes for Jacob. That and a shaver. Because, even though I could tell he was a handsome man, there was no doubt that he needed a good shave and a haircut.

"Where have you been?" Jacob asked almost as soon as I got back. "Sarah's been worried sick about you?"

"Yeah I'm sure she was the worried one," I smiled.

"Okay okay I'll admit it. I was the more worried one,"

"So where did you run off to?" he questioned.

"To get a car. Kind of hard to go back to Forks without one,"

"Oh,"

"Oh and I also got you this," I tossed him the bag which he caught effortlessly.

"Oh," he said. "I guess I would need these,"

"Just about every human does Jacob,"

"and shavers?"

"I think you'll look even more handsome with a good shave and a haircut,"

"More handsome?"

"Yes,"

"more as in you think I already look handsome and you're trying to make me more handsome?"

"I, thats not, what?"

He grinned from ear to ear.

"Oh shut up Jacob,"

"You think I handsome,"

"Jacob-"

"and I happen to think that you are very beautiful,"

"What?"

"I think you're beautiful. A guy would have to be blind to not see it,"

"Jacob I. I don't know what to say,"

He just smiled a very charming smile.

Sarah climbed into my lap as we watched her father get dressed and shave. It didn't dawn on me until now that he would probably need a mirror to groom himself. But even without a mirror he still did a pretty good job.

"So how long do you think it will take us to get to Forks?"

"A day. Maybe less depending on how fast we go,"

"I guess we should get this show on the road then," he said nervously.

I knew he was afraid of facing his past. He'd been running from it for 26 years. It couldn't be easy for him to just go back. Which made me wonder why now? Why with me? A woman he barely knew. Why couldn't he go back with Leah? Unless they were both running from something. Who knows? I wanted to ask but at the same time I didn't want to pry.

"After so many years I'm rejoining humanity. Never thought I'd do that again," he said once we'd gotten in the car and we were well on our way.

"What? Be apart of humanity?"

"Exactly,"

"But why?"

"Being a wolf is a lot easier than being a human. Emotions are so much less complex. Pain and anger are less intense. The only thing that really matters is having enough to eat,"

"Bullshit,"

"Excuse me?"

"You love your daughter don't you?"

"Yes but what does that have to do with anything?"

"It means that you care about something else besides having enough to eat. You love Sarah. You take care of her. You protect her. I'm sure you must've loved her mother as well? You can't tell me that you don't feel human emotion as a wolf?"

"You're right. Let me rephrase that. The bad emotions like pain and anger are much easier to handle as an animal. Wolves don't understand those human emotions. As a werewolf when you get in touch with your inner wolf anger and pain are easier to suppress,"

"What kind of pain are you hiding from?"

"Doesn't matter anymore I guess,"

We stayed silent for awhile after that. Jacob was certainly an interesting guy who's had an interesting life. I mean not many people can they have a wolf for a daughter.

Little Sarah was something else. She explored her surroundings with an intense curiosity I'd never seen in anyone. Even if her surroundings just happened to be the inside of a car. She stuck her head out the window and let the window like normal dogs.

I wondered what she was thinking. I wished that I could talk to her like I could talk to her father.

"What're you thinking about Nessie?" Jacob asked, startling me.

"It's stupid,"

"I'm sure it's not,"

"That I wish I could talk to Sarah and know what she's thinking,"

As soon as I said her name she looked at me.

"I don't think that's stupid at all," Jacob said. "I like to know what she's thinking. Her mind is every bit as human as mine is,"

"How are you so sure about that?"

"Werewolves can communicate telepathically when we're in wolf form. I know what she's thinking and she knows what I'm thinking. It's how we communicate even we're far apart,"

"Wow,"

"I know,"

"You know she looks just like her mom,"

"Really?"

"Yeah she has the same gray color fur that Leah did,"

"She's beautiful,"

Jacob's chest swelled with pride.

"What about your kids? Who do they look more like?"

I felt like I was going to start crying again.

"Oh my God. I'm so stupid! Sorry I shouldn't have brought it up! God I'm such an idiot!"

"It's okay Jacob. Really it's okay," I sniffled. "My eldest son looked more like his father. My daughter looks more like me. I'll show you pictures some day,"

Several hours later we stopped at a hotel. Only I would be the only one staying at the hotel. Jacob opted to wolf out and spend the night in the forest with his daughter since she couldn't stay in the hotel.

We're about an hour away from Forks but I was too tired to continue driving safely. Jacob had offered to drive but then I reminded him that his license expired over 20 years ago and at this point in life I had a lot more driving experience than him.

As soon as I woke up I went down to get breakfast before heading out to the car to wait for Jacob and Sarah. Soon enough the two of them arrived.

"Wow a lot surely has changed around here," Jacob lamented.

"How so?"

"Lot more buildings around here than I remember. I hope Forks hasn't changed this much,"

I honestly wouldn't have known how much if Forks had changed at all since I hadn't been there since I was a baby. The only reason I even knew how to get here in the first place was by looking it up on google maps.

When I saw the Welcome To Forks sign that's when I knew we had arrived. I didn't know what we were going to do from there. All I knew was that my grandfather Charlie Swan lived here. I supposed that asking around would just simply have to do.

The gas light came on in my car and I knew I wouldn't be getting anywhere until I filled up the tank.

"Holy shit!" Jacob shouted causing me to jump.

"What the-"

"That's my father over there!"

I looked where Jacob indicated and saw a much elderly man in a wheelchair. He was looking right at me. Like he knew me or something.

I looked back anxiously and saw that Jacob was nowhere to be found. Then Sara started howling which immediately caught the man's attention.

He looked at me and the wolf pup in question curiously. Then he started to move.

"He's coming over here,"

"Oh crap. I'm not prepared to face my father I'm not-"

"Jacob do me a favor and man up will you?"

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