Chapter 8: Emptiness Inside

Nessie's POV

Jacob was welcomed back into the pack, into his family, instantly that night. It was clear to me that they had all missed Jacob dearly. Sarah was welcomed into the family without question as well.

The young wolf pup displayed anxiety at first around all the strangers. Eventually she did warm up to everyone though. Especially when they offered her food. Being the only shapeshifter to have been born in wolf form the entire pack was highly interested in her. Interested in what phasing could be like for her in the future.

I felt an emptiness inside of me as I watched Jacob interact with everyone. I didn't have anyone anymore. My husband was dead, my son was dead, and my other two kids were with DCFS. As far as my father knew I was dead. What if my biological family didn't accept me?

My father tossed me out on the side of the road because he thought I was a monster. What if the rest of my family felt the same way since my mother nearly died because of me? What if my mom hated me because I nearly killed her? What if my dad was right and I truly was a monster? I killed people for their blood. Maybe my father was right all along and I was a monster. After what I did I didn't deserve happiness.

I felt something move a little inside of me. I smiled a bittersweet smile. I was having another baby. Jackson's last gift to me. For my baby's safety though I would have to give him or her up for adoption. All of my babies were better off without someone like me in the picture.

"Nessie are you okay?" Jacob asked in concern.

I managed to force a smile. "I'm okay Jacob. Don't worry,"

"Good. You had me worried there for a second. Anyway my father says we could stay the night at his place and tomorrow we will go talk to your grandfather,"

"Okay, cool," from that point on I did the best I could to make myself interact with everyone. People kept telling me that I looked just like Bella. The resemblance was uncanny.

When Jacob first told me this I didn't quite believe it but now that his father and other people were telling me the same thing I started to wonder if it could really be true.

"I think it's time to get going," Jacob said indicating toward Sarah who had fallen asleep on the floor.

I smiled at the baby wolf. "Yeah maybe you're right,"

We walked for awhile. Jacob carried his daughter carefully so that he would not wake her.

"Well nothing around here has changed much apart from the fact that everyone is now 26 years older,"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Forks. The reservation. Everything is the same as I remember it,"

"It's beautiful Jacob,"

"You think so?"

"I'm sure of it. You have a beautiful family, a beautiful town. I just can't believe you've been avoiding it for so many years,"

"Look there's my house. Even my house hasn't changed at all,"

His house was tiny but it was cozy on the inside. Jacob insisted that I sleep on the spare bed and him on the floor. I tried to protest but he wouldn't hear of it.

A few hours after I fell asleep I woke up to a strange noise. I looked and saw a wolf pup pacing the floor back and forth. Crying. It took me a full moment to realize it was Jacob's daughter Sarah.

I got out of bed slowly and picked up the crying young wolf and she froze instantly. I rubbed her soothingly and brought her over to my bed.

"It's okay. You're okay," I gave her a kiss and afterward she began to relax a little. She snuggled closer to me like my kids used to do and I felt a pang of sadness.

She whimpered.

"You miss your mom don't you?"

She nodded her head 'yes' and I saw tears forming in her eyes.

"I know how you feel. I miss my parents and my kids to," now I was the one that was about to start crying.

To my surprise she started licking the tears away once they started falling. I wiped hers away as well. Just like I did for my own kids.

My heart hurt for her. She was so young and already without her mother. Just like my kids. Only difference is her mother was not a monster that killed like I was.

"I'm going to help you find your mother," I told her. She looked at me curiously. "I'm going to try at least,"

She snuggled closer to me and within minutes she fell asleep. There was an emptiness inside of me where my kids belonged. Somehow Sarah helped fill it a little bit. Not long after I did as well. I didn't wake up until there was light streaming through the windows.

Right away I noticed it. My stomach was noticeably bigger than it was last night. I felt the baby move around quite a bit as I rubbed my stomach. I also noticed a bruise on my stomach that was not there before. That was weird. Babies just did not grow that fast. During my first three pregnancies not once did my stomach grow so much in one night. All were normal healthy nine month pregnancies.

When I stood up I felt a wave of nausea hit me fast and hard. I had to sit back down and try to control my breathing before I puked all over the place.

I felt another sudden wave of nausea and this time I bolted to the bathroom as fast as I could. I barely made it to the toilet in time before my stomach emptied itself. I sat there for probably five minutes puking my guts out before it finally stopped.

I brushed my teeth to try and rid myself of the taste of vomit. My face was noticeably paler when I looked in the mirror.

"Are you okay Nessie?" I heard Jacob's worried voice ask from outside the door.

"Just morning sickness. You might not want to stick around for this,"

When I opened the door a minute later he was still standing there. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head when he saw me. "Nessie your stomach-"

"Is definitely bigger than it was last night. I'm also aware that there is a bruise that wasn't there before. Believe me I know,"

"But that's not norm-"

"That is not normal. As someone who has gone through pregnancy three times already in aware of that as well,"

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Honestly I don't know. All I know is that I'm starving right now,"

"Not again. Not this again," I heard him mutter but decided not to question him about it.

I felt better after eating a big hearty breakfast. The baby also started moving around a lot more. I nearly screamed when it kicked me. It was the most painful kick I'd ever felt in all of my pregnancies to date.

I excused myself to the restroom and when I lifted my shirt I saw a brand new bruise. I covered it quickly before anyone could notice it.

"Ready to go see your grandfather now?" Jacob asked ten minutes later.

"Yeah I'm ready," though my heart started beating faster with anxiety.

The drive was probably ten minutes and I could feel myself getting more nervous by the second. My hand was shaking so badly that Jacob has to ring the doorbell for me.

My heart nearly stopped when someone opened the door. The man looked at me in shock.

"B-Be-"

"I'm not Bella though I've been told many times now that I look exactly like her. I think I might be her daughter though,"

Then suddenly a appeared out of nowhere. She was beautiful and more graceful than any person I've ever seen. She had beautiful golden eyes and pale skin. She was short and reminded me very much of a pixie for some reason. Then something, perhaps gut instinct, told me I was looking into the eyes of one of my biological mother's family members. My family member.

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