I didn't feel well when I woke up. By itself that was not unusual at all, considering this day was a working day. However, most people liked Fridays because it signalled the upcoming weekend. For a person like me, who lived only in the here and now, it was just another round of being forced into a classroom full of other people.

Today the idea of going to the facility called school was even less attractive than normal though.

The reason was yesterday's parting with Miura.

I shouldn't have to feel bad about it. Nothing I said was wrong in my eyes. I had no malicious intent when I said that word, actually I was truly surprised by the sudden turn of events.

But what was done was done. The word was said. It was irreversible.

Even if I was used to meeting her by now, it should be no problem to turn back to how it was before. I was a loner after all. Shopping by myself, going home by myself, this was my natural state.

So why did I feel so uncomfortable with it?

I wouldn't miss these times I met her, would I? It probably was more like my faith in honesty was shaken so quickly after deeming it necessary for the genuine thing I longed for.

My honesty destroyed a fragile bond in a flash.

I shook my head. No, I clearly wasn't at fault. It had to be Miura who was responsible by being unable to accept my answer.

I finally got up from the bed. All this thinking put me on the edge of getting late for school again. In my current condition I wouldn't be able to endure Hiratsuka-sensei's punishment.

I tried to wash away the uncomfortable feeling inside the bathroom, but nonetheless I thought all the way to school about yesterday's question again. Always arriving at the same conclusion that was contrary to Miura's public image. It was a contrast like day and night. However I was not mistaken. I was so immersed in the word 'lonely', that I was lucky not to have gotten into any accident along the way.

I arrived inside the classroom just moments before the lesson was about to start. With my activated stealth skill I went for my desk.

But, weirdly, my pace got slower the closer I got to my seat and the reason was a cold gaze that froze me bit by bit. My skill didn't work today, the gaze followed me all the way. I could only guess who was the source of it as I avoided eye contact.

The change of my pace most likely gave away that, despite my attempts, the glare had an effect on me. At this point I was just glad to not have become an ice sculpture before I arrived at my desk.

When the class greeted the teacher I thought to be finally freed from the piercing glance, but immediately afterwards it was stuck on me again. It was that way through all of the first period so that I couldn't remember anything from the class.

During the first break were a few times the feeling of the glare had vanished, and I took one of those chance to glance myself at the origin from the corner of my eye.

Indeed, it had been Miura.

She was currently talking with Hayama like everything was normal, the only thing that pointed at me was her cellphone.

I tried to use that chance for recovery from the nearly endless attack during first period while pretending to be asleep.

When I stopped hearing Miura's or Hayama's voices I felt her eyes staring daggers at me again.

A few minutes later I heard something like 'Did you receive some bad news on your phone?' from Ebina. So that was how she disguised it.

After the fourth period was over, I left the classroom as quickly as never before. I didn't even bother to hide my presence. I just wanted to get away from this gold gaze. It lasted all this time and it really freaked me out. Psychological torture, I even thought about escaping to the infirmary for the rest of the day. The idea flew out of the window when I saw Hiratsuka-sensei talking with the nurse.[1] I might could have fooled the nurse, but not the teacher in her thirties, most likely still single.

With no option but to return to the classroom I dragged my feet towards it. Needless to say that I entered at the last possible second, as well that her green eyes didn't grant me any break till the time for club activities had arrived.

Miura mostly stayed inside the classroom for a while till the boys of their group had to leave for their clubs. Since I knew this, I made another quick escape to avoid bumping into her at the bottleneck called door.

Luckily she didn't went out of her way to confront me. Did I take myself too important again? What a fool I am. I did expect that there would be slight side effects when I readied my mind about the possibility of having a girlfriend, but for those to involve completely unrelated persons like Miura surprised me. Inside my mind I scolded myself for it. Apart from those who wanted to spend time with me, nothing had changed. Miura was just another classmate, no need to be overly aware.

The previous lengthy torture made it hard to believe my own words though.

I guess she really wasn't like the other 'what's-their-names?' anymore. Nonetheless, even without her being angry at me, she had no role in what was to come on Monday, when Yuigahama would go to school again.

My mind was cleared of any unneeded thoughts when I arrived at the door to the clubroom.

Nothing of this level should have affected me in the beginning. I took one deep breath, and filled with new energy, I opened the door.

"Yo."

"Hello."

After we exchanged our usual greetings, I went to my seat and started to read my book.

That was the plan initially, but the moment I sat down on my chair, I was hit by a wave of fatigue. I didn't know how tiring today's harsh treatment really was till this moment

Miura's eyes were too powerful. Even Medusa's petrification required eye contact in order to work.[2]

I was so worn out that I forgot to flip the pages in order to hide my feeble condition. It was no surprise that Yukinoshita noticed my odd behaviour quite quickly.

"Is there a word that the third ranked in Japanese can't understand?"

"Shouldn't that be 'Can I offer you help as the first ranked?'?"

Why can't she be nice directly just one time? What a hinedere.[3]

"At least assume first that I philosophised within my thoughts about its content."

Yukinoshita put her hand on her chin.

"That seems to be too unlikely since you are still on the first page." So she really had not thought of it first.

I have no energy for this today. Not that I won that often on a normal day either. Since no one else would, I tried to lift my own mood.

"Just because it's a light novel you shouldn't take it lightly even if they don't weight a lot."

I snickered at my own pun. The only reaction I got from Yukinoshita was a hand on her temple though. I certainly wasn't like Hiratsuka-sensei, who was the only one to laugh at her own bad jokes, it was just that Yukinoshita had a strange sense of humour. It really was funny, at least a bit. Argh, who cares?

"Was that an attempt to look away from reality's hardships again? That can't be healthy."

"If there is something that is not healthy, then it is to face it all the time. Life is so painfully cruel that even the toughest soldiers suffer from it. Even society has accepted breaks as necessity, otherwise corporate slaves wouldn't have vacations once in a while."

The massage she gave her own temple got more intensive the longer I spoke.

"Did you just put your school life on the same level as a war experience?"

"My life is a constant struggle..." My voice grew meek, even I knew it was quite the stretch, but I couldn't think of anything worthwhile. I could really use an ether right now. [4]

"You seem to have forgotten where you are right now. If something is troubling you, I would, unfortunately, have to listen to it as president of the Service Club."

Even if there was a very unpleasant word mixed in there, I guess she offered me her help.

"I talked to someone and the person stormed off." Considering her relationship with Miura I refrained from mentioning details.

"For that to affect you that much, it must have been someone you cared about." She placed her hand on her chin once more, probably to figure out who it was.

"No, no, it was neither Komachi nor Totsuka." There was no one else I cared about. Oh, It wasn't me either. While I did talk with myself sometimes, it was hard to storm off from yourself.

"So it was someone else.." Yukinoshita had an astonished look on her face, it kind of hurt somehow. I did know a few more persons, it was just that I didn't want to be remembered of them, like a certain guy who recently got a girlfriend out of nowhere.

Since I remained silence, she continued.

"Your eyes certainly would have the effect of making someone run away."

"It had nothing to do with my eyes. I just stated my opinion and it wasn't well received."

Yukinoshita cutely tilted her head.

"Are you sure? Your words can be quite insulting, but the eyes are way more potent."

"Enough with my eyes already..." I wanted to say it firmly, but her strong attack dealt me the finishing blow. My HP were already close to zero from Miura's eyes, I couldn't take in Yukinoshita's harsh words as well. At this rate I was close to develop a posttraumatic stress order for real from the battlefield called school.

The table had to support my body in this time of weakness, but it didn't seem to be build as steadily as I thought. It shook slightly, or was I weeping a bit?

It really was only slightly. I didn't have to bury my face in my arms, there were just a few tears gathering in the corners of my eyes. For that reason I could see that Yukinoshita looked troubled all of a sudden. She probably thought it was only because of her actions that I ended up like this. It surely surprised her too, as I normally would take her abuses without flinching that much. It only showed how strong Miura's attacks during the day were.

I didn't show any sign of recovery and Yukinoshita arrived at the conclusion that she wanted to comfort me. The stretched out hand of hers was retracted though. Uncomfortable of touching me? In reality there was nothing about me that could warrant calling me Hikigerma, you know?

Not like I wanted to be patted on my head, even though Komachi seemed to like it when I did it to cheer her up.

Suddenly her face lit up and she walked to her bag. I couldn't identify the item she had retrieved from it when she came back to me, as she hid it behind her back.

During her movement on placing it on my head I finally saw it, but it was too late to do anything. The next moment I only heard a sweet a voice talking to me and felt a hand stroking my hair.

"Meow."

The unfortunately not so unfamiliar meowing of a girl reached my ears.

What are you doing?

Yukinoshita's face was bright red, like completely, but even if she had worn a green hat, I wouldn't have dared to call her something as disgusting as a tomato right now.[5] She looked extremely cute. The redness spread from hers to my face as well. Luckily the setting sun should cover me, although it probably was doing it more so for Yukinoshita. The sun in Chiba was really overprotective towards the girls.[6]

"Nyaaah~ nyaaah~" The voice and the comforting continued and sometimes the Alice band with cat ears on it, that she had placed on my head, moved from the stroking.

I asked myself what kind of face I made to this scene.

That moment Yukinoshita retracted her hand again and quickly pulled out her cellphone. Again she was too quick for me and a flash filled my eyes.

I reconsidered my desire to know the state of my face immediately.

Another embarrassing event was carved into my heart.

'What a weird day' I thought when I stood in front of Komachi to get the shopping list from her.

I had no recollection of what happened in the clubroom today. I totally didn't remember how a photo of me was made, how Yukinoshita nonchalantly took the cat ears off my head and how we ignored each other while urging the clock to hurry up. We didn't speak a single word even after the club activity finally ended. Not even when we walked through the school, nor when I picked up my bike. We didn't even said our goodbyes. For someone like Yukinoshita, who was so strict with manners, it was truly unusual.

Well, since I didn't remember it, it didn't really happen. Similar to the old question whether there was really a sound in a forest if there was no one to listen to it.

After she handed over the list, her phone started to vibrate.

"Oh! It's from Yukino-san!" She smiled so brightly that I wondered how she could top that for the times she received my mails. "Huh? An attachment?"

My blood froze as I suddenly had a bad premonition.

Komachi's eyes widened so much that I worried about her eyeballs falling out of their sockets.

"Onii-chan?"

"Y-yes?" My little sister had such a devilish grin that I leaked out a high-pitched voice.

"I forgot something that I have to add on the list. Would you hand it back to me?"

Of course I would do so if you asked me in such a sweet tone.

When she was done adding something to the list she pushed it against my stomach. While I was busy catching it with my hands, Komachi already had turned around and went away humming something ever so charming.

Despite how wonderful her actions were, they did leave me troubled after I had looked on the list.

Should I buy the cat food now or was it just a jab at me? The small drawing of a cat's face next to the added item didn't make it any clearer for me.

We really have a cat you know...

Before I closed the door of our house I heard Kamakura's meowing. I might as well do it, even if it wasn't the most delightful meowing of this day.

The way to the grocery store was filled with anxiety. I didn't think Miura would care about a bunch of strangers inside the shop, if she really wanted to take action on me. Even with Hayama in the classroom she already did as it pleased her. Though aside from psychological pressure I didn't remember any acts of violence done by her, at least inside the classroom. Outside of it, there was the attempted attack on Yukinoshita. Thanks to the club president's abilities it didn't escalate further than a holding, so I didn't know how far Miura would have really taken it. I prepared my mind for the worst when I entered the shop.

With my guard raised to the maximum I started to look around for Miura. It didn't take long to realise that she wasn't here. I let out a long sigh after I was convinced of it. It was unexpected that it was her who would avoid me, since she was such a strong-minded and straightforward person. Because of that I felt like the perpetrator for a moment. I even had to clap my cheeks slightly to snap out of that thinking. I did nothing wrong.

Without any needless thoughts I started to work through the shopping list. I even chose the cat food carefully, but I doubted that Kamakura would thank me in any way though.

After I had paid for everything, I exited the supermarket. A chilly wind hit me, but it felt like summer breeze as my blood was already frozen by what my eyes had discovered before that.

With crossed arms and a frown, colder than any weather during this year's winter, on her face, Miura stood in front of me.

Despite the strong wind and the shortness of her skirt I couldn't get a single glimpse of her panties. Witchcraft! If I had to die this afternoon, at least let the last colour I would see be pink and not the red of my blood.[7]

I gulped when Miura started to walk and closed the two meters that distanced us without a sign of hurry. If I weren't that scared it would have looked totally cool, like she was showing her prey that escaping would be futile. She came to a halt next to me with our shoulders nearly touching each other. The next thing I expected was a punch drilling into my stomach, but it never came. I just heard two words from her.

"Wait here." Without waiting for my confirmation she entered the grocery store.

Like anyone would wait patiently for his own execution.

Why does it have to be outside in the first place? It was cold and I wanted at least to wait inside. However, like bounded by a curse I waited obediently for her return.

Yumiko PoV from the end of chapter 3

I looked angrily at my diary like it had betrayed me. Just one day after it helped me to decide that I would include him in it, something outrageous happened. It was just one word, but like a stuck thorn it had pierced my heart and continued to hurt me. I even had trouble to keep my tears in me. Why was I feeling pain when I thought about his answer?

It just didn't make any sense. How could I be lonely?

I'm surrounded by friends, we hang out a lot, be it in or outside of the school and also during vacations. Even the person I loved stood by my side at all these times.

Just what was that guy thinking?

At first I thought he wanted to insult me and of course I got mad at him. I mean, like, who wouldn't? I wanted to grab his collar and scream my anger at him. It was hard to control myself, but in the end I managed to do it and went away. I totally had every right to storm off like I did. With every step my confusion got bigger, till I could no longer resist the urge to look back. I needed a hint for his action as I did not understand it. Sure, we weren't friends but at least we got along, didn't we? There was no reason for him to act like that. Was he really the horrible person the rumours claimed him to be? The last few days, was everything an act to fool me?

Before I had turned around, I expected to see him laughing at me, but he didn't.

He had tilted his head and looked visibly confused.

I didn't understand anything anymore when I saw his reaction.

My irritation didn't allow me to go back and inquire his motives and I needed time for myself to think clearly again. So I went home.

On my way home I had imagined several possible motives for why he would say what he said. I disregarded every single of them. A certain motive got me even madder. What if he made a move on me? He should know better than anyone else that I was in love with Hayato as he was the only person to have actually helped me regarding Hayato. Did he help me for that reason? I pushed that thought away, like every other too. His reaction didn't fit that motive either. I let out a long sigh and I looked at the clock. It was time to put the diary away.

Through all the evening my mind couldn't get any rest and the word 'lonely' still hurt me a lot without knowing exactly why.

I was already in my bed when I arrived at the conclusion that I basically didn't know how he thought. After all, I barely knew anything about him. Yui didn't talk about the club nor its members. The things I knew were from watching him occasionally or from his own words. I started to doubt, that he had the intention to hurt me deliberately, when I thought of his stories again. Would one really say all these embarrassing things just to be mean later on? The way he spoke about his own sister or that of Yukinoshita-san, only a good person would talk like that about close people.

I felt that knowing his intention was the key to get rid of the pain.

Yes, tomorrow I will observe him closely for clues. Filled with this determination my consciousness drifted finally into the land of dreams and thus to Hayato.

Yumiko PoV after school at home

Nothing. I couldn't figure out a single thing today. I only knew that the pain did not go away over the night. Even till this afternoon, just thinking about this word still hurt me.

It was because of this pain I had to endure that my anger flared up the moment I saw him entering the classroom. The only odd thing was that he got slower the closer he got his desk before collapsing on it.

Did he have a tough night, if so what did I have? Was he mocking me with this act? I had these thoughts when I witnessed that scene. Needless to say I got even angrier.

Not once did he look at me. He seemed to be asleep not only throughout the lessons but also during the small breaks. I could see him shiver from time to time, so I knew that he just pretended be asleep. In reality he only tried to keep a low profile. Even though my eyes didn't miss it, other than that I couldn't learn anything from him. His posture was so unchanging that I got bored from observing it. When my mind started to wander, I wondered why the teachers never scolded him for not paying attention to class. Aside from the SHR we had no lesson with Hiratsuka-sensei today. [8]

She wouldn't ignore him like the other teachers.

Their relationship seemed weird. I recently saw how she punched him inside the classroom, but no one questioned it. Not even the victim.

The chime signalling the end of the fourth period ended his inactivity. Fast like a flash he went out of the room. I noticed that he didn't eat normally inside the classroom, but storming off like that certainly didn't fit his lazy personality.

I was already prepared to not learn anything about his intention, even if he had remained on his seat. Lunch break was the highlight of my day and there was no way I had let get that go to waste because of him. Unfortunately there was no opportunity to invite Hayato to something after school. School clubs eat away so much of his time. At least the weekend was about to start and we will meet us like on most of the weekends. What could we do this time? I was just glad to spend time with Hayato that I didn't care much about what we actually do.

I took a look at the clock. Normally I would go to the supermarket at this time. I had no motivation to do that as he would surely be there. It was the best chance to make him talk without having to worry about Hayato seeing me with him.

But what should I do if he ignored me or escaped, while I was still stuck at the register? I didn't care about the impressions of strangers, even it was something as unsightly as being mistaken for a quarrelling couple. I couldn't just run after him without paying though, it would make me a thief. I wouldn't be able to explain that to my parents.
I knew that I had a short temper, especially when it came to anger or crying.

Thus I hesitated a while longer whether I should go or not.

In the end I decided to go, I wouldn't wait for this pain to go away someday.
I'll confront him for an explanation.

Hachiman PoV

Miura didn't exactly hurry with her shopping, thus I ended up thinking why I waited for her to come out. Without moving my body in this gelid weather, it lost its warmth quickly. Was there anything I hoped to achieve by doing as she told me?

Sometimes I could see her through the window. She behaved like on any other day I saw her inside this store. That also meant that she wasn't slower than usual either. I surprised myself with this positive look on the situations.

To have expectations from a loosely connected person will only result in disappointment.

Most likely the real reason was, that she forgot that I was standing here. I really wanted to go home to save me from another bad experience, but my body didn't move. Perhaps it was already too stiff from the cold.

I continued to wait, slightly admiring Miura how she stuck to her own pace and path without care.

When she finally came out, my classmate revealed no reaction on her face to the fact that I waited obediently. Was she naturally expecting for people to put up with her demands? I was fairly sure that most would have escaped, considering how scared my schoolmates were of her. If she was already mad at you, it wouldn't make a difference whether one waited or not, so one might as well run away. That's how I believed those guys would think.

If even Gahama-san caught up on this fact, Miura should have done so way earlier.

Was it because it was me that she had a different expectation?

Like earlier she passed me by closely, but without stopping next to me or saying anything.

Maybe it was because she didn't hear my footsteps, that she called out to me without turning.

"Come."

The curse was lifted, wooo magic! I was amazed how my legs, which were so reluctant earlier, had no troubles to move again. Though I did pick up some scary creaking sounds from them.

Before I caught up to her side, I used the time walking in her blind spot to check my head for an Alice band with dog ears. Cats like me shouldn't be so acquiescent.

"I'm listening."

Huh? I couldn't hear anything unusual, what was she listening to?

While we continued to walk Miura's head turned to the side and looked at me.

Oh, I was supposed to say something? Shouldn't she be the one to talk after commanding me around? She couldn't possibly want to hear an apology from me. If there was something I was definitely sure of, then it was not to be at fault here.

I couldn't remain silent for much longer, but since I didn't plan to apologise, I talked about a different topic.

"About the phone call, I –"

A loud sigh interrupted me, before I could even start properly.

"Don't you ever learn?" Miura shook her had while asking me.

Learn? Ah.

"Hello." I felt some warmth returning into my body when I recognised this familiar exchange.

Her mood couldn't be that bad if she was still keen on getting a normal greeting.

Walking helped too with getting the body to warm up again.

As quickly as the warmth came, it was blown away the next moment already.

It was probably the same look on her face, she had during the whole day at school. I couldn't confirm it as I didn't dared to answer the gaze with my own back then, but it felt the same as now.

Her stern eyes concentrated on me. She was probably getting onto the main topic next, but as long as she didn't say anything I only showed an apathetic face. My lack of reaction caused her to clench her fist again and her shoulders trembled. Watching me like this must have filled her with anger again.

Unlike yesterday there was no emotional outburst, like storming off. She was able to hold back today.

"Just what were you thinking when you called me 'lonely'?!"

The question thrown at my head was a few levels above a normal volume, her voice didn't hold back at all. There was even one elder woman who turned to us in surprise at the sudden yelling. Luckily there was no one else around.

I opened my moth to give a response, but I closed it again without saying anything.

It was not like I couldn't answer immediately. I thought about it all the time since yesterday, so I knew exactly why I said that word. There was something I wanted to confirm before though.

"Do you really want my answer?"

Of course I knew that she wanted it, but what I meant with my question was, whether she could endure it or not. From her reaction I saw that she understood my intend, she bit on her lip. Even if she had not believed in the rumours concerning Sagami, she understood that my words might hurt her. Unlike Yukinoshita who would look down when she awaited an unpleasant response, Miura faced it head on, with a similar determination in her voice she showed during the career plan request.

"Yes."

Influenced by her resolve I even nodded approvingly with my head. If I replayed the scene later in front of the mirror, I would introduce myself as detective of the east, but the situation was too serious to do it now. [9]

"When you asked me yesterday, I remembered a few things that made me think like that."

I cleared my throat before I started the actual explanation. Miura's determination didn't waver during the short break I did on purpose. I could only hope that she was prepared for my deduction.

"At first I thought about you. Mhh... you're athletic, and uhm... I guess most would have no problems labelling you as beautiful and you're even at the top of the social school ladder." Saying good things about a girl directly to herself is a lot harder than inside your mind. After I somehow got passed the troublesome words, I felt I said the last part a bit too quick. It was too obvious that I wanted to lower the focus on a certain word. I doubted anyone could blame me for being nervous. Miura was totally unaffected though. She probably heard it often enough, even then she was aware of it herself already, she was intentionally dressing up with a gaudy fashion and put on things like make-up. At least that made it easier for me to continue. I got all worked up for nothing.

"You like to do things with others, or more concrete, with your friends. You didn't volunteer for the planning committee for the Cultural Festival, but you made sure that Yuigahama would stay with you, and you took control of the class to help Ebina too. When those two were talking about the Sports Festival Committee, you started to participate there as well."

I noticed a confusion on Miura's face. Well that was only natural, nothing I said lead to the answer I gave her yesterday. Nonetheless she stayed quiet and didn't interrupt me like she usually would.

"I asked myself what could have been your motivation. Unlike me you weren't forced to participate. You didn't like to be left out. When I tried to figure out why that desire was so strong in you, I started to think about the people around you."

My throat started to get dry, I wasn't used to hold long speeches.

At this point I could make out the first glimmer of uneasiness in her eyes.

"A lot of your schoolmates gathered to watch the tennis match." Weird that I didn't say 'our schoolmates'. Technically that would have been correct, but it was not like I would recognise a single one of them today. In short, it didn't bother me.

"When I remember back, I heard a lot of cheering for Hayama and a few for Totsuka. I can't recall any for you though. There was something else when you wrote us a request via email concerning the mood of our class. There was a huge tumult in the corridor to our classroom, but your presence alone split apart the crowd. It's like everyone is wary of you, but they also avoid to confront you."[10] There were only few who would do that, but those weren't exactly her friends, like Yukinoshita and Kawasaki.

Miura took the first bomb without flinching the slightest. I didn't exactly spell out that people were afraid of her, but I guess she understood it herself, if she didn't know in the first place. That Yuigahama used her name to scare away boys was a secret I kept to myself.[11]

Instead of being affected by it, Miura even lost the uneasiness she had before.

"That's all? I don't care about those who can't speak their mind directly and only lurk in the shadows." So she didn't care about her schoolmates, somehow this doesn't surprise me. You don't like those who do that though as well.

Didn't that description fit me too? I won't have any problem to continue in that case.

"Next I thought about your friends."

Miura's steps lost their rhythm when she heard the last word. As expected this was something she couldn't just shrug off. From this point on my words would hurt her and I apologised in my mind beforehand.

"I remember that you used that... name... for me during the summer vacation first."[12] I made breaks around the word and even emphasised it with my voice. There was no way for her to miss that it I didn't like the name. She didn't care about my complaint in the slightest and thus I continued.

"But Tobe heard it first during our visit to Disney Land before Christmas. I don't want to make myself more important than I am, but if your group was really close, wouldn't you talk about Yuigahama's club from time to time?"

Miura averted her face and bit her lip again.

"Yui doesn't talk about her club activities."

That was a surprise to me. Yuigahama sure was frequently dropping random facts about you though. I decided to not mention that as well. Yuigahama might have her reasons and should say it herself one day.

I changed the topic to her other friend, so I wouldn't accidentally bring it up.

"You said something similar about Ebina during the field trip to Kyoto. That she doesn't talk about herself. She even established a relationship with you where you don't even ask her anymore."

Miura stopped to walk, fighting with herself and I followed suit. I even spared her the reminder that Ebina would end their relationship without a second thought as soon as Miura would overstep the boundary Ebina had set up. Naturally I didn't say that she called her 'Hina' just once during that talk with me in the convenience store in Kyoto. I never heard her call Ebina by the first name before nor after ever again.

I couldn't say if she remembered on her own or noticed the same things I was silently thinking about, but she her body started to tremble. Her eyes weren't set on me, it was like she looked into herself.

Since they spent so much time together, there probably had been many more of such moments.

The only thing I could say was, that she lost the fight for her composure.

She hold her own shoulders and trembled terribly. I already felt bad at this sight, before single tears started to flow down her cheeks. Now that they flowed, it was even harder to bear.

Today she wore a rather simple black coat, with buttons in the colour of her hair. When her hair was spread out on the mantle like now, it looked like the hair was part of an ornament on the mantle. Any other moment I would have found that beautiful, but in her current condition I felt like I attended a funeral. I felt guilty for doing this to her and I lamented about my inability to comfort her. Komachi was the only one I could cheer up.

Seeing her like this, I refrained from telling her that Tobe only talked to her because of his crush on Ebina. After all I didn't know if that still applied or if he got along with her now. Of course I wouldn't mention Ooka or Yamato either. Not like I could say anything about them, but most likely Miura included them already at the schoolmate talk. I knew I did.

It didn't seem like she would recover on her own, so I decided to go all the way now. It was better than starting again at another time. Like crying a lot one time was better than two times.

"About Hayama–"

"Stop." Her pleading voice contained no energy and just mentioning his name was enough to change the single tears into a stream.

Miura grabbed the front of my own coat looking down to the ground. She stabilised her stand with it, as we were in the middle of the road in the residential area and there was no bench in sight.

If Yuigahama were here, she would have embraced Miura to comfort her. That was something I couldn't do. Despite her plea not to continue, I had to. Otherwise she would imagine the worst things if I didn't gave her something concrete.

"Tobe once said that Hayama doesn't talk much about himself either and that makes it hard for him to repay the favours he felt like he would own Hayama."

I didn't know how it was between Miura and Hayama, but judging from his character and how he avoided introducing Haruno directly to her, I figured it was more or less the same.

Miura's grip on my coat got stronger and she now leaned her forehead against my chest.

I took it as confirmation that my guess was correct.

"You want to share each others secrets. You want to rely on them and be relied on. You desire an intimacy they don't give you. That is why I said you were lonely."

This had nearly robbed her of all her power she usually displayed. I was once more reminded that she had the heart of a maiden despite all these frowns during her time in school.

Her body shook stronger than before and for a moment I feared that even with this much contact, her legs might give in.

"But you know, that can always change for the better, right? You meet them frequently enough to have the opportunities for that."

These words weren't only for Miura's sake. I would have to face changes soon as well. And I definitely didn't say them for Hayama's sake, that the girl, who admired him, wouldn't give up here. On the contrary, I hated him even more. I swore to myself that I would never end up like him. I will uphold the deadline I agreed on with Haruno and not keep anyone in an endless waiting loop.

Miura's sobbing toned down. I don't know if it was because of my words or whether she just ran out on tears.

When she recognised her position to me, she let go of my coat and made a step backwards.

Without saying anything I once again offered her my handkerchief, but today she carried her own. My offer wasn't unnoticed though.

"Thank you." Her voice sounded a bit nasal, but that was only natural after crying.

After she dried her eyes and cleaned her nose, we continued our path.

We didn't continue our topic. Everything I had to say, I did. I guessed that Miura would need more time to deliberate on my words as she didn't said anything either.

Our joint path would end soon anyways, we had not much time to talk from here on.

Miura broke the silence shortly before our parting point.

"Did you call Yui yesterday?"

Luckily I did so, but the atmosphere was still a bit heavy, that's why I couldn't boast about it.

"I did, but I would rather have not done so."

She made a worried face, she probably had not expected such a reply.

Before she could get fully wrought up I gave her a brief explanation. She suffered enough already for today.

"Yuigahama was asleep during the call and her mother woke her up because of it. It didn't sound like she was mad at me, but a patient shouldn't be disturbed while resting."

Miura's expression got warm when I mentioned Yuigahama's mother. Did she have fond memories of her? Yuigahama mentioned that she had sleepovers sometimes. I guess she meant Miura at that time.

"You got me worried there for a second, but with this I can rest at ease and hear the rest from you tomorrow."

We had arrived at the place of separation and so I nodded to her in agreement.

"See you tomorrow then."

"Mhhmm goodbye.

After I heard her reply I started to move away, but after two steps I turned around again.

Maybe because of the warm expression she had showed earlier, a nagging though of mine surfaced again.

"Despite telling me how to greet properly, you never did so yourself."

"Couldn't you mention that before I said goodbye? It feels like, totally weird to do that now."

There was a frown on her face, but there were no negative emotions behind it. She wasn't angry at me, at most she was bothered. Such a shallow glare didn't affect me anymore, thus I was persistent this time.

"I can wait here till tomorrow to hear it, since I have no friends who I could meet instead."

Miura let out a long sigh and shook her head. I saw that earlier today already. Was that Miura's version of Yukinoshita's placing her hand on her temple?

"Fine. Hello Hikio." She tried to hide it, but if I wasn't completely wrong the corners of her mouth revealed a very subtle smile.

"Hello you too." Enjoying this victory I probably had a small grin on my face as well.

I should have used the mood to make her stop calling me by that name, but I didn't want to overstay my welcome. My feet started to carry me towards home. I was already a good portion away from Miura when a thought popped up.

Wait! Did I just agree on a fixed time to shop tomorrow? On a weekend?

Well, I guess even with that, today's outcome was not that bad.

"Onii-chan, what took you so long? I was really worried that you had another accident."

I took a glance at my sister who was reading a new magazine for girls. She didn't look like she worried that much. At least she could have raised her head to feign any interest, this behaviour of her was so low in points.

"Sorry, I got held up on the way back." I released myself from the coat and shoes when I replied.

"Mmhhmm, by what?" Her voice sounded bored by my upcoming answer before I even stated it. As the good brother I was, I would meet that expectation and gave her no details.

"I was stuck in a conversation."

Komachi looked up from her magazine to show me a sceptical expression.

'Silly brother got the calendar mixed up? It wasn't April the first yet.' Her eyes conveyed this clear message, but her words didn't go along with it.

"Who did you talk with?" I sat down next to her still holding the shopping bag in my hand.

"Just a classmate."

'Imposter! What have you done to my brother? He isn't able to speak to people other than me.' was written all over her face. I made up the last part to reduce the pain it caused me.

Luckily her spoken words were different again.

"Was it Yui-san?"

"She is still at home with recovering from her cold, I think."

"Totsuka-san?" Her next question came immediately. Not like she would have to think about it. Those were the only two from my class she knew that I was familiar with.

"Totsuka things belong into the 'Today's Totsuka' corner."[13]

That reminded me, I haven't done one recently. Komachi must be craving for more Totsuka news. It was probably fine to give her a three times longer corner than usual to make up for it.

Suddenly she leant on to me and made me forget to breath with her sparkling eyes. My sister was way too cute for this bitter world. What was I thinking again? I had no idea.

"Onii-chan, could it be that your classmates recognised your existence? All these years of hard work weren't in vain..." She sniffed like a proud mother who was about to see her child off, after raising it for many years, to finally live on its own in this world.

That image scared me in two ways. I never wanted to have this frightful experience to leave home. Also I didn't want to marry my own mother. That would be too weird, even in Chiba. [14] Thus I tried to lower her excitement.

"I guess it is fine for some people to talk with me if none of the other classmate sees it."

"I'll take what I can get. It's still a huge step forward for you."

That warm smile of her felt much better, so dazzling.

With a slap on my thigh she snapped me out of my daze.

"This should go into the kitchen." Komachi took the shopping bag from me and left the living room. The slap did not really hurt, but I still rubbed the place she hit because it caught me by surprise.

"Here kitty, kitty!"

Despite the cheerful voice from the kitchen no one in the living moved.

I looked at Kamakura with raised eyebrows to signal him that he should walk to Komachi, but he only stared back at me and remained rooted to his spot.

'I'm Ka-kun, I don't know this kitty.'

'But you're the only cat in this house' I responded telepathically to his ignorant behaviour. How could he let her wait so long?

"I want to start the cooking lesson already, now get here gomii-chan!"[15]

I was meant? I suddenly got a bad premonition. On my way to the place of endless cat-jokes I tried my best to avoids Kamakura's 'I told you so' .

"I'm sorry we don't have any Neco Meshi, but we'll do something even you can eat." [16]

And so it started.

For the next hour the kitchen was filled with my sisters teases about offering me an arm pillow and gags. She only went quiet for a moment when I had unexpectedly accepted that offer with a 'Sure, it must be softer than a real pillow.' after I had resisted everything else before. [17] It just slipped out unconsciously, I didn't even try to negotiate and settle for a lap pillow afterwards.

I laid exhausted on my bed after this tirade of cat jokes that would have even gotten Catpedia-san giddy. [18] I could forgive my sister easily though. 'The new school year should start as quick as possible. I want to enter the club as well and play with Onii-chan like that too.' Who could stay angry after hearing such an honest wish?

I thought back to the incident that was the source of all this and blushed upon the memory.

Yukinoshita was capable of caressing me.

However, was it really necessary for her to pretend that I was a cat in order to do it? It damaged my pride as a man slightly.

I tried my best to fill my head with new thoughts before I would start to roll around on my bed from the embarrassment.

Miura was able to accept my honest answer.

I can't say I was sure that she was capable to do so beforehand. It was a pleasant surprise.

While it wasn't that bad to talk with her frequently, it was more important that it reassured me to be on the correct path. If Miura could even successfully change Hayama, it would give me a huge boost in confidence to change myself.

That would not be an easy task for her though, I was even highly sceptical of her chances. It would have been different, if I had reason to believe that Hayama liked Miura. Everything pointed against it though.

During the time the rumour about Yukinoshita and Hayama made the round, Totsuka was surprised that Miura was not the Y Hayama mentioned during the summer camp. Tobe, who was the closest boy to Hayama in school, had not considered that possible at all.[19]

I didn't care about a happy end for Hayama, I was simply rooting for the maiden's heart of Miura, that was so very much like my own.

Once again I made her a role model for me. Before it was about continuing friendships, now it was one of pursuing love.

Did I make a mistake there again? Was I creating an illusion of Miura, similar to what I did with Yukinoshita and Yuigahama before?

It wasn't as one-dimensional as back then. I couldn't come up with a single word to describe her. She was weak and yet strong-hearted, she was aware of boundaries, but had the determination to cross them. As a role model I admired her.

A new question came to my mind.

I had told her a lot of how I thought of her, but what did she think of me?

In the earlier conversation I mentioned our talk in Kyoto. Back then she had not trusted me in the slightest. By the time of the career plan request she did. After I had accepted her request she was much calmer the next days. She even paid attention not to look at me during these days. She always looked away from me with her cheeks in hand.[20]

I took a deep breath through my nose and widened my eyes in surprise.

For a moment I had the illusion of smelling her scent again.

Her perfume, that I had inhaled a lot during the time she had leaned on me, wasn't bad, but she had put on a bit too much of it. It made it kind of artificial. Just like with her make-up, if she reduced it to a more natural level, I wouldn't be able to tell left from right anymore.

To change my thoughts I raised both hands into my sight to perform a silly left and right game.

I wish I hadn't done so as it ended the light-hearted mood I had.

After a while I just stared at my hands while they closed and opened several times.

Just why couldn't I do something as simple as holding a crying girl to comfort her?

I had the knowledge that it was the normal thing to do. Everyone else would have done it and the receiving person would have understood and gladly accepted it. There would have been no misunderstanding leading to difficult situations.

Hopefully I could change this flaw of mine soon.

Yumiko PoV

I was lucky that I remembered to bring tissues today. If Hikio really had a somewhat reasonable explanation for the answer he gave me yesterday, I doubted that I could hold the tears back.

Hikio had such an answer and I did cry. It was a merciless answer and it hurt a lot, but it was not wrong. Because it was right, I came to understand the pain I felt ever since he said the word 'lonely'.

It was not like I didn't know, that I wasn't as close as I wanted with my friends. It was more like, I just couldn't accept it. Everyone told their little lies to preserve the group, even to the point at which I successfully fooled myself with my own lies.

During the times I felt uneasiness by these lies, I found solace in the time we spent together. I had buried my own desire beneath these lies to just get more of this time with everyone, till the day I requested to the Service Club for the second time.
Initially I just wanted to inquire for Hayato's career plan, but Hikio pushed me forward until there was no other way than to risk everything I had to advance to the next step. He questioned my determination and my heart had responded strongly to it. What once was buried, was now free again. But it had been contaminated by these lies. While my pure desire had awakened again, I still held back to go all the way.

Today was similar day as to back then. Hikio cut holes into my heart and removed the illusions I still clung to with every word he said. His thoughts were so on point that it had not hurt the healthy parts, but regardless of this accuracy, my heart felt already so empty when he got to his conclusion.

I broke down in despair from this feeling of emptiness in my heart. Without my illusions, there was barely anything left of it. How could I have continued like that?

I could barely stand on my feet at this point. When he showed no sign to keep me from falling, I was afraid to suffer the same fate as Sagami.

But with only a few more words he filled the holes he made in my heart with hope.

With this I could go on. Not just with pursuing the relationship I desire with Hayato, but also to deepen my friendship with Yui and Ebina.

Even if Ebina would push me back, I won't give up like last time and struggle all the way.

Yui was my best friend and aside of her love interest or the things related to the club, she told me everything. That was what I felt and the reason why I spent more time with her than any of the others. She was the reason why the hope Hikio gave me convinced me.

If Yui really liked him in a romantic way, should I try to help her out?

I opened my diary to add a dream onto today's page. No, it was more like a goal, a vision of the future I wanted to attain.

I was already in my bed when a realisation struck me. Hikio analysed me well, just how intensively did he observe us? I noticed that he looked in our direction quite often, but he mostly seemed so uninterested when he did so. Like watching a TV show one didn't really want to watch, but since everything else was even more boring, one stuck to it.

I had my moments too when I watched him, so I wasn't freaked out by it.

Not that I needed that reason to not be bothered by it. People watched me all the time, so I was used to it. I remembered that he watched me before he knew Yui sometimes, at that time I ignored those glances like all the others. Just another creep fantasising about a beautiful girl.

Today he showed not the slightest hint of being attracted to me though. Every normal boy would have abused my moment of weakness, but he did not even try to hold me in his arms to comfort me. Now it felt even sillier that I had accused him yesterday of having made a move on me. Did he love someone already? Yui perhaps? Would he tell me if I asked him?

Ever since Yui continued to talk to him after the Cultural Festival I did watch him regularly. When I got bored by the lessons I watched his back and wondered why she would do so and why only in secret. My gaze also landed on him whenever I thought about Yui's love life.

Over the course of time I came to experience some of his good sides, but it threw me only more into confusion. He was quite likable once one knew him, so why did he hide himself from everyone?

Of course he wasn't on the same level as Hayato, but if he had a friendlier look in his eyes and showed his good sides to everyone, he would probably more popular than Tobe.

Hayato and Hikio...

That was something I didn't understand either. Hayato was good to everyone, but towards Hikio he showed an unusual level of concern. It was enough to make Ebina drop her perverted fantasies about Hayato and the boys of our group in exchange for him and Hayato.

Just what was going on between them? One time Hayato even... and on another time he...

I stopped my thoughts from exploring those unpleasant memories again.

Such an emotional day should end on a good note after all.

[1] In V6 the school nurse referred to Hiratuska-sensei as Shizuka-chan, so their relationship should be good enough for a talk.

[2] Monster in Greek mythology, look into the eyes and turn into stone.

[3] Twisted dere, an invention by Komachi

[4] A common potion in to refresh the mind.

[5] He hates tomatoes

[6] The red light of a setting sun was often used in the LN to cover up blushes way too often.

[7] Last time he saw her panties, the colour was pink.

[8] Short HomeRoom

[9] A title for Shinichi Kudo from the manga Conan.

[10] Mail with the request was received in first chapter of V6.25 , the commotion in V6.5

[11] Happened in V6.5 as well

[12] in V4 before the summer camp

[13] The existence of 'Today's Totsuka' corner was revealed on Yui's birthday party, When Hachiman talked about school at home, Totsuka was mentioned so often that he made it a thing. It deeply worries Komachi.

[14] The Kousaka siblings from Ore no Imouto live in Chiba too and held a wedding ceremony. Making it acceptable in Chiba.

[15] gomi means trash, one of Komachi's nicknames for Hachiman

[16] Neco Meshi is a small food line from Neco Republic, that Humans and Cats can eat together.

[17] In a mail to the Service Club Komachi complained about Ka-kun coming into her futon and forces her to be his arm pillow, something she has not done yet for Hachiman. Happened in V7.5 4th Short Story

[18] Same chapter as above in 17, Being bothered by Yukipedia-san, Hachiman changed her nickname into Catpedia-san. (She was fine with that name)

[19] Hachiman had this thought in V10

[20] He mentioned these positive hints in V10, but instead of calling his conclusion 'trust' he escaped with a 'I wasn't exactly sure why?'

Author's Note

Finally I got to a point where I could state Hachiman's thoughts on Yumiko properly. I included Yumiko's thoughts on him based on the LN as well, but those are far fewer than his thoughts on her and are harder to spot.
Sorry for the scarce amount of diversity this chapter. The serious part couldn't be cut shorter and grew too large to add Saturday and Sunday into this chapter like originally planned.

I hope I was clear enough in the flashback description to avoid confusion.

Now for the reviews. Thank you everyone for them, like last time I will address those with issues or questions.

wildarms13 the stated ship, will be the ship of this fanfic. I won't fool the readers with false advertising.

Guest As stated in Author's notes of chapter 3, that Yumiko PoV can be found in this chapter as flashback.

fluffpenguin Thanks for pointing out errors, I try to reduce them even after releases to provide a better reading experience for later readers. A patch for ch. 3 will come before ch. 5 will be released. Yes, Miura wanted the result, but she left it in care of 'Hayato' and did not act outside the talk with Hachiman.

BentShuriken Good observation! Hachiman is a conditionally open person after all. In the summer camp he had no qualms telling his old-men smell story in front of the 'strangers' that Yumiko and Ebina were at that point. From Haruno we know, that Hachiman will respond when asked to. He has things he won't say though. Like sharing other people's secrets or saying mean things about people who are not there to defend themselves. Ch.3 highlighted this part of his character by giving the spotlight to Haruno and Yumiko. Both love to ask question, but for different reasons. If they had as much time on stage in the LN as here, it would be more apparent there too.

YuukiAsuna-Chan I guess you are referring to his parents? They know how Hachiman's marks look like and that Komachi is far from his level. Hachiman studies a lot normally, he won't have issues with the normal tests. I'm pretty sure they will cut him some slack when it comes to the final exams though.

TheLaughingStalk Thanks for the information, but I don't think it applies to Miura's Hikio. In V1 he was still Hikitani-kun for her, then the good experience of the match happened to her (Hayato catching her) and next time she called him Hikio in V4, before she got her first bad experience with him in the summer camp. So there is more reason to believe that it was with good intentions.

Guest In the translation I have, he said once that she had a mean look in her glance (not directed at him), that doesn't describe her personality. I found crooked one time in the V11 about Yumiko, referring to her as Ashi-san (community given nickname from the way she referred to herself). It was part of a series of puns and not an honest evaluation. If you read the text before that sentence, you will see how Hachiman noticed that unlike other girls she actually did NOT hide her true relationship with Isshiki. So she is crooked by not being crooked, meaning she is the only straight one while all the others bend.

Flash Falco Like you probably already noticed from your usage of smileys, the missing scenario is delivered as promised in this chapter.

translotusx Thank you for your long review. His sister will continue to appear in this story of course. I wish I could say I added her two scenes in this chapter just for you, but she was the only logical choice, given the time frame that was open on this Friday. No promises on the pacing. While I like it as well, the ultimate goal is to do a finished story that won't take years to complete. I can reveal though, that at least the next three chapters will still have the same pacing.

If there is something you want to ask about just do so. Answers will come with the next chapter.
So hopefully I'll see you at chapter 5 again.