Chapter 18

He was miserable. When he was home with Val, he wanted to be somewhere else with live people. When he went for drinks with James, he couldn't wait to get home. There wasn't any place he felt comfortable. He'd tried going for Sunday dinner alone and it only made him think of Laura.

It was almost enough to make him call her. He'd ended the call before it could even connect. He hadn't known Val was watching him. She was almost as miserable as him. She hadn't counted on this being so hard. Had been certain after seeing Robbie with Laura it wouldn't hard to push him the right direction.

Now he seemed to be stuck in some in between place and she wasn't sure how to get him to move along. "You should call James. I bet you could find a pub with a match on."

Without looking up from his book, he shook his head. "No, I'm reading."

"You have to eat and there's nothing to cook."

Closing the book, he set it on the table. "Then I'll go to the market." He stood, grabbed his things and left without another word.

Robbie walked around the store adding a few things to his basket. None of the items were what he really wanted but he'd needed to get away from Val. As he turned the corner for the checkout, he saw another person he didn't really want to see. "Something tells me you are not here for the two for one dandelion and burdock."

James shook his head, taking the basket and relaying the facts, "Suspicious death, Lady Matilda's college." He put the basket with the others as he headed for the door.

Robbie paused, certain he'd heard wrong, "Lady Matilda's?"

"Last all female college in Oxford, just voted to go mixed."

Annoyed at James' smug tone, "I know what it is. So…"

"Holding a Gaudy. The information's a bit sketchy, but one of the guests has been found dead." At his car, James opened the door, "You can follow me."

Arriving at the college, he was swept back in time. This place would always be irrevocably tied to when he lost Val. He struggled, trying to push the thoughts away. Saw James walk toward the scene, asking for details. He tried to focus on the sound of James' voice, anything that would keep his demons at bay.

"Sir?"

James' voice broke through his reverie and he moved towards it. "Do we know who she was?"

"Poppy Toynton, 32, alumna. Worked here as a development officer. Parents from Whitby. Oh, she shared a house with one of the dons from here, a Diana Ellerby, in Bicester. The accommodations been given over to the guests for the weekend."

They rounded the corner to the stairwell. Laura looked up, "Boys."

Robbie climbed the stairs, "Doctor, what've we got?"

She looked askance at him, trying to remember the last time he'd called her doctor at a scene. Annoyance clouded her voice, "I can't speak for you, obviously, but what I've got is indigestion after another spoilt supper." Nodding toward the body, "What she's got, at first glance anyway, appears to be a broken neck."

"From the fall?"

She walked past him, "Too early to say if it was a fall. According to uniform, there are signs of a break-in upstairs. Scene of the crime are taking a look now."

Kneeling next to the body, he looked around, "What time was she found?"

James, standing next to Laura on the lower level, answered, "Senior Porter called it in about an hour and a half ago."

Removing her gloves, Laura nodded in confirmation, "That'd agree with time of death between 9:00 and 10:00."

He looked down at them, the two people he felt closest to and yet didn't want to be around. "But it was the porter that found her, was it?"

Looking up at him, James continued, "No, it was one of the first year students, doubling up as a waitress tonight for a bit of pin money." He pulled his notebook from his pocket, "Samantha Coyle."

Robbie looked around one last time then went in search of the witness.

Robbie was nowhere to be found when Laura and James left the building. Laura joined the SOCOs, handing them the evidence she'd collected. She was walking to her car when James caught up with her, "Is there anything I should know?"

Not sure where he was headed with his questioning, she asked brusquely, "Such as?"

James looked at her somewhat perplexed by her tone, "With himself. When I first mentioned this place he got very uh, beady."

Laura sighed, "Well there was a young woman attacked here, nine, ten years ago. A sister of one of the undergrads, uh. Chloe something, Robbie's case."

James looked at her even more confused, "What happened?"

Laura looked down at her shoes, "A couple of days into the investigation his wife got killed."

He stopped walking, stunned, "Oh."

Laura stopped with him and looked up at him, more softly than before, "So keep an eye, eh?"

Jean stood in the doorway, watching James. He was completely oblivious to her presence. Robbie approached. She shook her head, "I don't think he's been home."

Robbie looked into the office, shocked at what James had done. He stepped into the room, "What's…"

"Shh…" James turned to fuss at whomever was interrupting him. Seeing it was Robbie he removed his earbuds and stood, "Sorry sir, I just wanted to get the last ones in order."

"In order of what?"

"It would have been easier if I had the lid of the box, obviously."

Robbie was confused, there was a lid for the evidence box, "What Box?"

"Jigsaw box."

Jean, more confused than when she had entered the office, turned to leave. "I think I'll leave you to it."

Nodding at the board, Robbie watched James, "And for those of us whose MENSA applications came back labeled return to sender?"

James pointed at the board, "40 or 50 people taking photos of the same event over one evening."

"Right?"

"If you look at one set of photos, you're going to have stonking great gaps. But what one person misses…"

"Someone else might have covered."

"So a few of the sets have gone missing in the interim, but at least a third are time coded. This gives us way points. The rest you just have to extrapolate."

"Based on what?"

"Light levels, level of drink in people's glasses. Who's next to who, who's doing what. It would be easy if I knew who was wearing what. But that's doable. We just get that, shove it in the computer and we're in." Robbie scoffs, James looks back at him, "What?"

Shaking his head, "No, no, it's good. It's just. All this? Why?"

James looked away, asking himself the same question. After all this time, Robbie still didn't understand that he was James' family too. "Well you thought something wasn't right."

Robbie felt as if he'd been gut punched. Val had said James was loyal to him but seeing it like this was overwhelming. "Come on, get your coat."

"Where are we going?"

"To see an old mate."

They'd made some progress on the case but were still struggling through a few odds and ends. James felt it might be best to continue, "Work it through with a pint."

Robbie looked up, slightly embarrassed, "Ahh…"

He was trying to figure out what to say when he was saved, "Fit, Rob."

He nodded, unsure what James would read into the situation. He watched Alison sit in the chair across from his desk. She smiled at them both, "They're open, you know. Valuable drinking time you're wasting."

He looked up at James, "Join us, James."

Alison chimed in, "Yeah, absolutely. More the merrier."

James shook his head, "No, you're all right. I've got one or two leads to follow up."

Alison questioned him, "This the Toynton case?"

James looked back at her, "Mmm."

"There's been another they're saying on the radio."

Robbie looked back at James, curious as to his reason for suddenly skipping out on a pint, "What leads are these?"

"It's just one or two things. I'll talk to you about them tomorrow."

Robbie nodded then smiled at Alison, "You ready?"

She stood, smiling at him, "Yeah."

They'd been drinking for most of the night. He was puzzled by Alison. Puzzled as to why she was here with him, puzzled as to why she wasn't still on the force.

"Out of everyone, I thought you'd have gone the distance, taken your Inspector's."

She shook her head, looking at him sadly. "Well, I woke up one morning and my face didn't fit anymore. It was made clear I wasn't going to go any further. There'd been a complaint. Some girl in the canteen, of all places. Civilian." She took a deep sip from her glass. And she said I'd said something. Racial, which I hadn't. But I mean, even if I had, it wouldn't have been anything. Just, you know, a bit of banter between colleagues. And then suddenly they're gonna bust me down to DC."

Robbie was somewhat shocked by her admission. He was almost certain he wasn't getting the whole story but he had no way to refute her claims, he hadn't been there. "Sounds a bit harsh."

"And I thought sod ya. I've always played a straight bat, you know. And for what?" She paused then took a deep breath, recognizing she had turned him off and she needed information, "But enough about me. How are you getting on with Lady Matilda's thing?"

Robbie grunted, no plans on sharing. He took a drink of his beer, stalling for time. She finished her glass then dug through her pocketbook, "Look, I'll get another round and you and fill me in. How's that?"

He nodded, why not share with her. He trusted her and he would like another drink, "Go on, then."

"Like old times."

He watched her walk away, thinking about old times. He missed those days, he missed everything about those days.

They drank for another hour when Alison suggested they leave. As they were crossing the bridge she flung her arm around his back, "Your new boy seems decent enough. Hathaway, is it?"

"James. Yeah, he's a good lad." Robbie smiled to himself as he realized how much he meant the sentiment.

She bumped her hip into him, "Yeah, no…no Ali McLennan though, eh?"

He laughed, "Who is?"

Putting her arm around him again, she curled into him. "You know, one thing I've always wanted to ask. All those late nights and long observations..." They stopped at the foot of the bridge, coming to face one another. She tapped at his chest, "How come you never tried it on?"

"I was married."

She shook her head, "Yeah, well, so were many that did."

"I don't know about them. I loved me wife."

"Simple as that. And now? Got anyone?"

His mind raced, this was a question that wasn't simple. "Come on, who'd have me?"

"Plenty."

He thought about Laura, ached at the thought and what a life with her would mean. Suddenly, he was filled with a deep loneliness. He shook his head, "I'm too set in me ways, to, I don't know, start over. Sometimes I think it'd be nice, but…"

"You shouldn't be alone. You're one of the good guys, Rob."

She pushed up and kissed him. He didn't know how to respond. He didn't feel anything except a deepening of the loneliness.

Allison could tell he wasn't going to respond and pulled back. "Yeah, we should do this again. No strings. You know, just two old coppers out for a pint now and then."

He nodded, "I'd like that." He said the words but knew he had no intention of ever calling her.

"Well you've got my number."

He watched her walk away. The kiss had been meaningless. Even with Frances he'd felt an attraction. Would he ever feel it again? Or was his fear of losing Val impacting every aspect of his life.

The ringing phone woke him from a restless sleep. His dreams had been filled with thoughts of Ali's kiss and the nothingness he'd felt. As he woke it lingered, made him think of how stuck he was. Lost in a world of make believe and a life he couldn't quite get started.

He fumbled for the phone desperately trying to clear his head of the images. "Yeah."

"Sorry to disturb you so early, sir."

"What is it, James?"

"It's not good news, sir. Alison McLennan was found dead this morning." Robbie's mind raced. What if he'd brought her home with him or gone home with her? Would she still be alive? "Sir, are you there?"

"Where are you James?"

"At her workshop, sir."

"I'm on my way.

Robbie walked up and grumpily said to James, "Where?"

James motioned to the building and Robbie walked through the door. As he walked towards the body Laura stood and went to him, "Robbie, I wouldn't. It's not pretty."

Anger flared at her attempt to protect him, "Show me." He missed the concern on her face as she stepped aside letting him see the body. He looked at the broken body of the woman he had spent the evening with the night before. A new set of emotions from the night before came rushing back. Rather than thinking about how her kiss hadn't stirred anything within him, he thought about how relaxed he'd been with her. How good it had felt to let go and laugh and reminisce. She had been so alive and familiar and uncomplicated. Suddenly, he wished it had been enough. He scratched his head, "When?"

Laura's voice was soft, gentle, "Early hours, between 2 and 4. She wouldn't have known much about it, after the first, if that's any comfort."

Robbie looked a few seconds more and then turned away. Once again his mind flashed to the evening before, to the moment she kissed him. The offer had been there. She'd said he shouldn't be alone before she kissed him. He was tired of being alone. She would have been comforting, accepting, unchallenging. She wouldn't have tried to change him. And, perhaps, Val would have stayed.

Laura watched him before following. She was unsure what was going through his head but he seemed lost, broken. She touched his arm. He looked down at her and she could see confusion on his face. "I only saw her last night. We went for a drink."

Laura paused for a moment taken aback. He had been with the dead woman last night. She knew he had known the woman but didn't realize they were in touch, that they were seeing each other. She didn't realize he'd moved on. She fell back a step, needing distance, "You were…"

The idea of something uncomplicated that wouldn't force him to move on suddenly seemed appealing, "Could have been. Who knows?" He looked back towards the body wishing he hadn't seen it. He thought about how Laura had tried to stop him, tried to protect him, "I'm sorry if I was uh…"

She accepted his apology, "Brusque."

He smiled sadly, "Oh I was thinking more rude."

She took a deep breath; he'd just lost someone. With a sad smile, she shrugged it off, "You're entitled."

He shook his head, "No, not with you."

Laura walked towards her car and saw James waiting. She looked up to ask how Robbie was doing just as Robbie walked toward them. James nodded towards Robbie. He suspected Robbie was going to ask her to dinner. With a simple smile, "See you later."

James hadn't needed to say anything. She knew Robbie was hurting. She smiled at Robbie and decided to make him laugh, or at least cringe, "Hot work eh." He groaned at the bad joke as he fell in step beside her. With a quick look down, she made the overture, "Fancy a drink."

Robbie looked at her, grateful she had suggested something, "Make it dinner and I'm paying. I owe you one."

She shook her head. "No you don't"

He nodded at her as she walked away. "8 o'clock The Turl?"

She looked back at him, smiled sadly and nodded.

They arrived at the same time, both huddled against the cold. He held the door open, smiling as she walked past him. His entire relaxed as he felt a smile light his face. All of his loneliness of the past few weeks disappeared. A peace he hadn't felt in a long time descended.