So here's chapter 3 of Boarded In, hopefully it's okay. First C/O moment here but I just wanna inform you guys that it will be a bit of a slow burn but I will do my best to write it. I do realise there might be some confusion with the family tree, especially along the Shephered's side hopefully i've explained it well enough, teehee. Also disclaimer, I didn't get the idea of Arizona and April being siblings (or adopted siblings) with Derek- it belongs to ducky48 (only the siblings thing tho, the backstory I wrote from scratch. +Grey's Anatomy doesn't belong to me, it belongs to Shonda Rhimes and Co.

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, hopefully it isn't utter trash. :)

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The table was silent as they saw Cristina disappear out of the cafeteria door. Izzie and George sat with a slight shock, before Izzie rolled her eyes and continued eating. None of them expected her to just walk out of the room. Everything was fine one minute before everything turned to shit.

"What… what just happened?" Meredith asked. She placed her fork down and looked at Izzie and George. George was just as puzzled as Meredith while Izzie just continued eating.

"Just let he be, she's just being cold and robotic."

"You barely know her" Meredith said, as much as she didn't know Cristina very well, she knew something happened to her or at least this wasn't the 'Cristina' that Meredith knew.

"You barely know her as well" Izzie snapped back. "She's completely detached, studying and more studying"

"Izzie, she's our friend."

"She's your friend. I don't get her, i've tried to be nice but she's always just replying with sarcasm. You'd be lying if you didn't say it was annoying" Izzie responded sharply.

"No I wouldn't and I like her sarcasm because where I come from, people don't even try and brighten your day and maybe she isn't your favorite person but like it or not, you're going to be around her for 3 years if you want to be friends with me. So let's go see if she's okay." Meredith replied sharply. As she was getting up she saw Derek and his group of friends walk into the cafeteria. "Fuck" she cursed, the last thing she needed was the boy who was seemingly infatuated with her. "Please don't tell me he's walking towards us."

"Hate to tell you, but he's walking towards us." George whispered indignantly. "Should we go?"

"Yes, yes we should." Meredith said, getting up.

"But we haven't even finished our food" Izzie slightly whined. She had no urge to go and checkup on Cristina. They weren't even friends, so what was the point?

"Izzie, you can stay or go. But you saying that Cristina is cold while you're sitting here and not seeing if she's okay, is colder."

Isobel Stevens was in no way cold, at least not without effort. She knew what it was like to grow up with crap, she was never over compensated and never lacked compassion. Overly attached would be an understatement to describe her, everybody within this school didn't have to go through the life she had before coming here. And it was the same for Cristina: taking things for granted. She wouldn't deny that she might have been harsh. No. You weren't, you were only asking about her parents. Nothing more. She concluded to herself, she wasn't being harsh, Cristina was just being rude and cold.

"Izzie" George said, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Let's go"

"No, you go. I'm sitting here and eating my food," she intoned

"Fine" Meredith chided, slightly annoyed at the lack of empathy that Izzie was giving Cristina. "We'll go then." She tugged onto Georges arm and walked out, avoiding the gaze of Izzie and Derek. "Come on George."

George seemed to be struggling on who to follow, but in the end trailed behind Meredith giving a sympathetic look towards Izzie. "Should we go to your dorm?" He asked, trying to walk out at Meredith's speed.

"I think that's where she would be" Meredith answered. "I can't believe Izzie would do that, calling Cristina cold."

"I mean she does have a point, Cristina hasn't been the nicest person." George pointed out. "I can take it, I have 2 older brothers. They're all absolutely idiots, I only got in here with a scholarship." Meredith seemed to only partially register the fact that George was talking and gave a slight nod before lunging up the staircase two at a time.

"Cristina might not be the nicest person, but she's my friend. And I know I barely know her but she's not cold- she's realistic." Meredith remarked. "Besides, she seems to know her shit."

"Considering all of us are in early entry math and single award science, I think all 4 of us are pretty well rounded" George observed, trailing behind Meredith. They slowed down as the reached the top stairwell, taking their time. "I've dealt with worse but Izzie grew up in a trailer park, she knows when people are taking things for granted- and maybe she thinks that Cristina is taking advantage of something."

"Taking advantage of what?" Meredith questioned, "There's nothing to take advantage off and what would Cristina be taking for granted?"

"As I said, just an observation. It might be incorrect. Izzie talks a lot, and by a lot I mean alot. We're roommates, we talk."

"I honestly can't believe that she thinks that Cristina is just doing this because she wants to do this."

"People think what they want to think" George said plainly. They slowly arrived at the dormitory door and Meredith lightly knocked on it. But no response came, she felt the cold metal as she wrapped her hand around the doorknob to pry open the door.

"Cristina?" Meredith called into the room. "Are you okay?"

They heard no immediate reply and walked in to see Cristina on her bed with earplugs in her ears, reading a textbook. Cristina didn't see them straight away and continued reading the book on cardiothoracic surgery.

"Cristina? Are you okay?" George repeated, walking towards her. When Cristina finally took notice, she looked up with her hazel eyes still stained with red. Internally, she hoped that Meredith and George didn't see her strained eyes whilst they were standing a few metres away. Her earplugs lodged themselves out and she tucked them away, and silently closed her textbook as she faced her friends.

"Yeah, i'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?" She was really trying to sell the, 'I-don't-feel-any-emotion' thing. Her fingers began wandering down to the folded page of her book, creeping into the slits; prepared to open to read once again.

"You just, ran off" George said, looking at the floor.

"So are you okay?"

"Yes, how many times do I have to say it? I just remembered that I had homework to do." Cristina was throwing any excuse she had at them so they could leave the room. "It's not a big deal, you know. I'll be down tomorrow."

"Okay then… uhm... " George stuttered slightly. "You might-uhm- need to talk to... "

"Spit it out George, the stuttering is getting old" Cristina prompted.

"You might need to apologise to Izzie" George let out a instant sigh of relief after he said it. It wasn't that he didn't like Cristina, in all honesty, he was more scared of her then anything.

"Apologise? To Izzie?" Cristina said. If anything, Izzie should be the one apologising but the last thing she needed was the whole school to know that she lost her brother and then her dad. Cristina Yang, didn't need the pity or the sympathy. She couldn't go through the whole ordeal again- the memories resurfacing, the pitied glances, apologies and condolences or the sleepless nights she would get remembering and reliving everything that happened. She didn't need it, not now and certainly not in the near future. "I'm not apologising to her."

"She thinks you're taking things for granted." George said in a low voice. "I think it's best if you just get it over and done with. Apologise so we can all go back to normal. It's only the 2nd day of knowing one another. I prefer not to fight"

Cristina struggled with the underlying decision of apologising to the person that made her night a shit one. On one hand, she wanted to refuse and just sit in her room and read- that seemed like the rational option while another part of her is telling her to apologise for her actions. Cristina wasn't being particularly violent, only stabbing her greens. What was the problem? What was the most logically option out of the two? She hated making decisions with her emotions to guide her, they weren't worth anything in the end. Logic and Science, Cristina focused on the two words that drove her to do everything. Logic and science, never in any case is emotion included as a viable decision maker. "I didn't do anything wrong" She replied bluntly.

"Well Izzie seems to think you did" Meredith spoke up. "I would just get it over and done with."

"I'm not going to apologise for something that I didn't do wrong" Cristina plainly replied. "I used sarcasm and I stabbed my vegetables, what is her problem?"

Meredith just looked at George who promptly replied to Cristina's question. "She think that you're taking stuff for granted. You know your life, parents-" Cristina visibly flinched at the word 'parent' again, and Meredith took notice. She watched as Cristina shut her eyelids before opening them slowly again. "-school, family. You know the generics." George concluded. He watched Cristina for the whole time he was talking and noticed her refusal to open her eyes after his utterance of 'parents'. Her hand would wander towards the gold necklace around it, feeling the rose pendant at the tips of her fingers.

"I'm not taking anything for granted" She said in a low whisper as she flipped open her textbook once again. She wouldn't talk about her brother or her father, no not now. "And I'm certainly not apologising to her. Now just. Leave. Me. Alone."

"Cristina… " Meredith tried to console her friend "Cristina, you can talk to us you know."

"No, I didn't know until now." She sarcastically replied, why couldn't they just leave her alone? "Just go, Meredith. And George as well. I don't need you guys to check up on me, i'm a big girl. I don't need you guys consoling my ass."

"Just speak to Izzie when you can" George intoned. "Come on Meredith let's go."

Meredith refused to move. Cristina was being unbelievably stubborn at the moment. "Cristina, i'm not moving until you tell me what's wrong."

"I shouldn't be obligated to tell you anything" Cristina snapped, "If you're not going to move, i'm going to move." Cristina grabbed her textbook and walked out of the room, her earphones dangling out of her hand with her phone.

"Dammit" Meredith cursed inwardly.

"Way to go Meredith." George said. "How can day one be so disastrous already?"

"I don't know, dammit. But something happened, and she's not going to feel better until she talks about it." Meredith pointed out, she knew from experience. Being required to go to a shrink from seeing her mother's attempt on her life.

"When did you become a shrink?" George asked.

"Since I had to see one" The information just slipped out, and Meredith realised she just said something about seeing a therapist. It wasn't things she told people on there day one of being friends. "Not that it was about me" She quickly tried to cover up the slip up. "It was because of my mother."

"You don't have to explain" George replied, still at slightly taken aback. "I'm sure you're perfectly sane, and you were forced into it."

"That pretty much sums it up" Meredith agreed, happy that George wasn't pushing into the topic.

"Should we go back to the cafeteria?"

"I'm not but you can, Izzie might be lonely. I think i'm going to stay here and finish the notes I have on economics."

"Okay then, i'll go down and check on Izzie. Should we see if Cristina is alright?"

"Honestly, she did ask us to leave her alone but I know she isn't okay. We'll ask tomorrow, maybe by then she'll be in a better mood." Meredith mused.

"Yeah hopefully, I don't need two mad friends." George replied with an exasperated sigh. "Quite a day isn't it?"

"It is, it so is"

/~*~\

Cristina walked down the corridor and into the common room. Her book pressed against her chest, she sat near the back of the room, in a relatively secluded area. She flipped open the textbook and continued reading, it took her eyes a minute to focus on the words that seemed to be flying out at her. Damn my dyslexia, she thought to herself as she tried to refocus her attention back at her book. When she finally did, it felt like an eternity but in reality it was less than 5 minutes of her struggling to read the first sentence. It had weird spikes, sometime it didn't bug her but when it did, it was always in the way of things that she liked doing best.

But for the whole time, her mind kept wandering back to what George said. "She thinks your taking things for granted." Bullshit, it was nothing more. She didn't take her parents or her family for granted, she worked and studied to be in this school along with her own mental setbacks. Same as any other person here. Her family wasn't perfect but she was taught to never take things for granted.

Izzie knew nothing about her and she was naive enough to make such an outlandish comment.

Damn Isobel Stevens.

She knew she couldn't allow herself to cry, not in front of the people she called her friends. That would show her weak, vulnerable side. Something she rarely showed to anyone. Her mind seemed preoccupied, it drifted to her father. Cristina felt the tears brimming, ready to spill from her eyes. 'No, you can't cry. Not here!' Her mind hissed. The feelings that she's tried to suppress for the last month and a half were finally coming back, the didn't need for it to come back and bite her in the ass.

Before she could stop herself, she felt a tear escape from the folds of her eyelids. Streaming down as she stared vacantly at the wall, waiting for it to stop. Her reaction was to wipe it away- and she did- as she bit down on her jacket to prevent herself from sobbing too loudly. One tear turned to two, then it escalated streams. She bit down harder on her jacket, causing it to come in contact with her own flesh as well but she continued, feeling her teeth dig into her forearm. As the hiccups subsides, she was left feeling nothing at all, and she knew that it was always worse when she couldn't feel anything.

Numb.

A familiar feeling to her.

She let it encapsulate her, filling her with nothingness but her heart pounding in her ears of her wrecked soul. It drove her insane how it still affected her, how she still felt the need to run away every time she heard the word 'parents' or if they mentioned anything about a family she would feel the tears brimming in in eyes. She hated it, she loathed how it still affected her. It was a forever reminder that she'll only have one, only one. Nothing more, nothing less. Even though her mother remarried, Saul Rubinstein would never be her father. Her father died, in her hands. His heart stopped as she kept his chest closed. He died in her hands, leaving her feeling guilty and empty.

Her hand traveled upwards again touching the scar that was stitched up a few months ago when her head collided with the front of the car, leaving only a small laceration and minimal brain damage. Why did she survive? Why not her father? Was it any better to leave her in this world with nobody who actually cared?

"Here's a tissue, you might want to check that arm" Cristina heard someone say. She didn't immediately respond but took the tissue that was dangled in front of her.

"Thank you" She mumbled before looking up to see a red-headed man with his blue eyes looking at her.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

She scoffed slightly, "I don't even know you, why would I tell you anything?"

"So?"

"Yeah, i'm fine" She lied again, not willing to tell this stranger about her problems.

"We both know you're not fine" The man laughed slightly as she gave him a small smile.

"The why bother asking?" She intoned "I barely even know you and besides you shouldn't need to take care of me"

"Well, I tried, didn't I?" He uttered. "Just don't keep it inside. It's not healthy, it'll eat you alive"

"I know it will." She quietly responded.

"Owen!" Someone yelled into the common room. "There you are, disappearing after dinner." Cristina watched as Derek- aka McDreamy- walked into the common room in the direction of Owen. "You need to stop doing that, I lost you for the whole summer. I'm not going to lose you again."

He didn't seem to notice Cristina sitting in the chair, and she thought it was for the best. She busied herself with her book, and hoped that the boy who offered her the tissue would just leave her alone.

"You're not going to lose me again" Owen scoffed, as he gave Derek a light punch.

"What you doing?" She heard Derek asking the other boy. She hoped that could give an excuse of some sort, she didn't need him to know that she was crying.

"Nothing, just checking if I left my watch in here. I seemed to have misplaced it." Cristina gave a small sigh of relief, whether or not it was true or not she didn't care.

"Okay, I'll be over at Addie's room with Mark and Ari. Find us later." Derek said, and she heard his footsteps on the wooden floor before the shutting of the door.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"You're welcome, you probably don't want Derek butting in on whatever you're dealing with. He's a good listener but when nothing ever escapes gossip. Derek is a good one though."

"Well, you could tell him to stop giving my friend the 'sex eyes'" Cristina said pointedly.

He laughed, and sat down in the chair next to her. "He mentioned her, Meredith Grey right?"

Cristina nodded. "Yeah that's the one."

"I'll mention it to him, but I don't know how long he can not keep eyes on her." Owen said, "He did have a crush on Addison but I don't think that's going to play out… shame, I was betting with Mark on that one"

"Huh, you can leave if you want. You don't need to make small talk." Cristina offered. "You can go back to your friends and i'll just sit here."

"With your book and be all alone" Owen intoned.

"Yeah" Cristina confirmed, she didn't see his need to stay with her.

He heaved sigh, "Just, in case you need anybody to talk to. I'm here, and I know I barely know you but whatever happened. I'm sorry." Owen pushed himself up, he knew that she wouldn't open up and she seemed formidable, strong. But something about her made him drawn towards her even if he barely knew her.

"Owen... " Cristina said softly, remembering that his name from what Derek said. "Thank you." Cristina Yang was someone with few words, whilst having too many emotions to control. She didn't like to show it, or feel it. She hated them, how it controlled her without her permission.

"No problem, I'll be here if you want to talk… Cristina" His first time uttering her name that day, first hearing it from Derek and Mark.

"How'd you know my name?" She asked, puzzled.

"Derek and Mark, you guys have english together. By proxy, you'll have english with me too."

Cristina gave a small smile, "Of course, i'll see you around."

"See you around." He uttered before leaving the common room, turning and walking in the direction of Addison's room.

Cristina watched as Owen left, he was the first person not to push the topic. Even Meredith tried. She was grateful, of course she was. As much as she didn't like people butting into her business, she knew she at least owed an explanation to Meredith. Whether or not she was going to apologise to Izzie for 'taking things for granted', she was still thinking about it.

Grabbing her book, she silently walked out of the common room and found herself back at the door of her room. Her music still streaming into her ears from her earphones. Her hands wrapped around the doorknob and opened it, revealing that Meredith was on her laptop consolidating notes or doing homework.

Neither one of them were thrilled to break the silence but Cristina figured she was the one to do so. "It was my father, by the way. He died in an car accident."

Meredith said nothing, absorbing the information that Cristina just told her. "It happened early this year, that's when I got into this school. So now you can make fun of me if you want for running."

"I'm not going to make fun of you, I get where you're coming from. I don't think Izzie meant it. She didn't know"

"She shouldn't have used 'parent' as the brunt end of her remark" Cristina pointed out. "I'm not apologising to Izzie. I'll let her think what she wants to think. But I can't have another school giving pity and sympathy all over again. I just can't. Not after what happened to him"

"Is that why you wear a necklace? I didn't peg you as a person who would wear one." Meredith asked.

"No, I wear this for something else." Cristina said vaguely, she didn't need Meredith to know about that as well. The impact of one revelation was enough.

"I'm sorry about your dad."

"Yeah me too." Cristina muttured, fiddling with her necklace before tucking it away. "Just, don't treat me differently. I don't need that… you think i'd be over it-"

"You don't get over something that big" Meredith cut in. "That's not how life works."

"Just… don't treat me like I someone who needs sympathy."

"I won't, I get where you're coming from." Meredith said, closing her laptop. Cristina looked at her quizzically. "My dad left my mom and me when I was five. Then we moved to Boston 3 years later when I was eight. I know it isn't like a death but it still felt like he dying. But in all honesty, I would do the same. My mom's a bitch"

"My mom's a bitch too." Cristina mumbled, giving her a smile. "We're starting anew"

"We're starting anew" Meredith echoed. "We are so starting again."

/~*~\

Izzie sat in silence as she watched Meredith and George exist, she rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone to keep herself company. She noticed another man, someone she hasn't seen before. Redheaded as he greeted Derek's friends. From what she could tell, she knew that they had to be friends before. Seeing them laugh and joke in a way that was only possible for people who have known each other for years.

She watched as people started leaving the cafeteria, she more or less didn't expect George or Meredith to come back and see her.

"Sitting alone cause you have no friends?" A voice behind her said. Izzie turned to see Alex there in all his jackass glory.

"No. Are you always this rude?" Izzie remarked, she gestured at Alex to sit and he placed himself down.

"I'm rude and i'm feisty in places where you want to be feisty in." Alex said with a suggestive grin.

"Oh fuck no. Alex, what the fuck? First the misogynistic remarks now you're hitting on me."

"It was worth a try, I knew you wouldn't buy it." Alex shrugged. "I'm a jackass by default."

"I've realised" Izzie grumbled.

"What's up with Yang?" He asked, picking up a fry from his plate.

"I don't know. I don't think I did anything wrong, she just has her ways I guess." Izzie remarked. "She's taking things for granted, whatever. If she can't appreciate things then she doesn't deserve them in the first place."

"As much as I get where you're coming from, have you ever considered that something happened to her?" Alex remarked.

Wow he's not being a jackass Izzie thought, what a shocker. "No, why would I think that?"

"I wasn't all this" Alex gestured at his attitude."Growing up in Iowa, wrestling for most of my youth and dealing with my addict family. It changes you, some people become cold, some becomes jackasses." The last line was referencing himself, he knew he could drop the crude attitude. In the background they could hear the group of friends that Derek hung around with, disappearing out the door.

She was momentarily distracted as they left, leaving a wake of laughs and happy spirits. She took one last glance before turning back to face Alex. "What could possibly happen to her? She grew up in Beverly Hills, she's educated, she didn't need to gain for herself." Izzie snapped.

"Whatever you know, just trying to help." Alex chided. "Here comes O'Malley."

"What's George doing here?" Izzie asked quizzically, the question was more aimed at herself then Alex.

"Probably coming down to check on you" Alex observed. "George, shouldn't you be tending your other needs?"

"What other needs?" He asked exasperated. "If you're talking about Cristina, then no. She's refusing to talk."

"Proves my point exactly." Izzie grouses. "She's refusing to talk- cold and robotic. What a surprise!"

"O'Malley just doesn't know how to talk to woman that's all." Alex smiled, "I'll be leaving now." He got up and left George and Izzie at the table while Izzie mouth hung agape. He was genuine for about two minutes before turning into a complete jackass again.

"Why in the world, did he come here and talk to you?"

"I don't know, he figured I was lonely." Izzie shrugged.

"Alex tending to the needs of other people? Shocker right there." George said as he took one of Izzie's last fries. "She was reading a textbook and fiddling with her necklace."

"I don't care, George I really don't.

"Something happened to her, me and Meredith both know it. We were somehow talking about parents and she just flinched. Closed her eyes and I saw her play with her necklace."

"What could possibly happen to her? She's just another one of those ungrateful kids, who take shit for granted. I've seen to many, I know what it's like to struggle. I basically had to teach myself manners. She can be withdrawn if she wants-"

"Izzie, just listen. If something did happen to Cristina, in her past, she's not taking shit for granted" George cut in. "You insulted her parents, that's not something you do on your first day of school."

"I wasn't always like this… some people become cold some people becomes jackasses" Alex's words ringed into her ear.

"I insulted her parents way of bringing her up." She corrected. "I never said anything about her parents-"

"Your whole argument there was counter intuitive… Just try and apologise okay?" George cut in again, desperate for Izzie to see the reasoning behind his explanation.

"-whatever George. I'll apologise when I can. How about that?"

"Thank you" He breathed a sigh of relief. "Are you done? Can we go up?"

"Yeah I am, let's go. I'm going to pop into Meredith's room, see what I can sort out." Izzie said. "This doesn't mean what I say is incorrect, she is cold and bitter, sarcasm runs through her veins instead of blood. I don't regret what I said about her."

"Izzie, it doesn't matter. Both of you have opposite personalities. Cristina she's straight, reality based, you're kind and pretty cute rainbows. It's kinda hard not to butt heads with her." George remarked, walking about the stairwell the second time that night. The redhead that Izzie saw at dinner, passed them down the corridor and headed towards someone else's room.

As they were coming up the stairwell they saw Cristina walk into their dorm, with a textbook in planted against her chest and earphones trailing down from her ears.

"She's reading a textbook?" Izzie remarked, slightly taken aback.

"Crazy isn't it? You should see her stack of textbooks, GCSE, iB and APs. It's like she's planning to do all the courses."

"She might be cold and conceited but god damn is she a good student" Izzie observed. They walked slowly towards the room, hopefully giving Meredith and Cristina enough time to talk before opening the door. George knocked lightly, as his fingers wrapped itself around the doorknob to open the wooden door.

"Hey you okay?"

"Yeah i'm fine." Cristina said, giving him a light smile. This was the first time that he ever saw Cristina Yang genuinely smile. "Can I come in?"

"Depends if you have food or not" Cristina remarked. "I'm joking, come in I guess." She still felt the numbness in her body, but if she was going to act normal she had to be normal, instead of moping around waiting for someone to dangle a tissue in front of her and ask her what her problems is.

George stepped into the room with Izzie slightly behind him, Cristina looked unfazed but internally she was squirming to run. She was expected a crude joke or an insult to her parents.

Meredith ducked underneath her laptop, ready to see if Cristina and Izzie would hash it out. She knew it was highly unlikely, they could be civil but from Cristina's attitude, she would be ready to fight if she needed too.

The awkward silence in the room was more than uncomfortable, it was excruciatingly painful. Waiting to see who would talk first. Izzie supposed that she needed to prompt something of some sort, taking a deep breath and stepping forward. "Look, I didn't mean to insult you or whatever-"

"Izzie, I genuinely don't care, if you can't be genuine with your apologies or insults then I, frankly don't want to hear them. What you said- whatever- forgotten. I had homework, that's why I came up. Just leave it."

"That's it?" Izzie said, "No yelling, no screaming?... no sarcasm?"

"No, because i'm giving you the satisfaction of thinking that I get to use my 'perfect' childhood as an excuse of why i've been so rude to you. So no, no pomp or circumstance. You can either stay or leave" Cristina took a deep breath.

"Did you not have a perfect childhood?" Izzie asked, she was pushing Cristina's walls inward. She wasn't particularly ticked off yet, she just wanted to know the reason why she's being so crude. Then she saw the reaction that George was talking about, the touching of her rose necklace. It seemed like a habit, a normal habit.

"No I didn't." Cristina said, inhaling sharply. "I can't tell you why i'm being like this, it's just the way I am. I'm not apologising for being who I am okay? If you don't want to be my friend, the door is right there. Nobody is forcing you."

"I realise, I-I just want to know why you're like this." Izzie stated. "How you can be so detached?"

"Because that's how I am, it was how I was raised. Detached par-" She inhaled deeply, trying not to allow her emotions to show but she still couldn't bring herself to say the word 'parent'. "-detached family. I never got the loving- 'just the right amount of parenting that most people got.' Why do you think i'm here?"

"I-I just assumed-"

Cristina cut in "Because i'm a girl from California, rich and willing to go to whatever school I want?"

Izzie nodded slowly, quietly waiting for Cristina's reasoning.

"Don't assume things about me, I chose this school because it compensated my needs with the added benefit of being out of California, away from my mothe- family." Cristina hoped that they didn't notice her misstep with her words. "I don't live the perfect life, nothing about it is glamourise. I'm dyslexic, Izzie. It just makes it harder to do everything."

The revelation made everybody turn around in shock, nobody would have assumed that Cristina was dyslexic, she did more or less perfect english and could read perfectly fine.

"It's treated, that's why you don't notice my study incapability. It just flares up sometimes, besides that i'm perfectly normal." Cristina remarked, "So, stil think my life is perfect?"

"I'm sorry." Izzie said, looking down. "I didn't realise."

"Yeah, I'm sorry too." Cristina said softly. It took her by surprise as well, she didn't expect herself to apologise to Izzie but in the end, she knew it was needed.

"You're dyslexic?" George exclaimed, still recovering from shock besides Meredith.

"It's not a huge deal" Cristina shrugged. "I handle it."

"Obviously" Meredith remarked, still trying to recover from two information overloads that evening, both from Cristina.

"Don't look so shocked, I have it handled." Cristina said, giving a small smile. "Besides, I still get top grades."

"And there's the sassy Cristina we all know" Meredith smiled. "I'm glad you guys worked it out."

"So we're good?" Izzie asked with hesitation evident in her voice.

"Yeah I think we are." Cristina affirmed. She knew that this wasn't go to be the first time that she and Izzie would butt heads. But she could deal with Barbie.

"Aww" A voice could be heard by the door. "Finally found some woman to hang out around without them leaving you, George."

"Alex, screw off." George grunted with annoyance, he walked towards the door and shut it right in Alex's face. He could hear the audible groan from him as George walked away.

"Yeah okay, I need to actually get my history notes done." Cristina said, suddenly interrupting the silence that coated the room. "Fuck Alex though, what an absolute jackass."

"I know" Meredith agreed. "Between the minutes that I had spent with him, he's almost the devil."

"He's an evil spawn." Cristina quipped turning back to her notes.

"I need to get my notes done too." George said, observing Cristina's frantic typing. "I'm going to go grab my laptop." And he headed out of the dormitory.

"I have no notes to take" Izzie said, slightly cautious with her choice of words."Psychology was a bore, state school covered most of what she covered in the first lesson."

"That's a shame though." Cristina spoke up. " I have psych on Wednesday with a Mrs Rolar."

"Me too." Meredith said, "Looks like you have to deal with me as well."

"And you complain about McDreamy." Cristina snorted. It was a relief to finally be able to laugh without the restrains pulling her down. They'll come back, they always do but now, now, was a moment to enjoy.

"When you start giving me the 'sex eyes' i'll make sure to rant at Izzie or George." laughed Meredith while George walked in with his laptop. "George! You'd be there if Cristina ever gave me the 'sex eyes'?"

"Why would Cristina give you the 'sex eyes'?" Georges eyes grew wide, "Oh she's- uh- what... "

Cristina smirked at Georges uncomfortable stance, "I'm not gay George, you can relax."

George visibly uncomfortable by the carefree nature of the conversation sat down at the windowsill, he didn't have much of a reaction, only awkwardly shuffling over and making notes.

"You shouldn't worry about it though, apparently McDreamy has a crush on Addison." Cristina remarked. Before typing out a lengthy sentence on her laptop.

"How'd you know?" Meredith asked, puzzled.

"Yeah how do you know?" Izzie asked, looking up from her phone.

"Some dude came up and offered me a tissue when I was in the common room, reading my book. We talked, he mentioned McDreamy and I mentioned to him, to tell him- Mcdreamy- to stop giving you the 'sex eyes'." Cristina replied, she shrugged her shoulders. "Then he mentioned how McDreamy had a crush on Addison or something."

"That just gives him ever the more reason to stop giving me the 'sex eyes'" Meredith said, "Good, so now I can actually focus cause I can't do anything when he's staring at me."

"God, this is bordering on stalkrish." Izzie chirped. "It's kinda cute, but I don't trust anyone with that good looking hair. Like look at his hair."

"Don't tell me you have a crush on him too?" George asked in exasperation.

"I don't, I'm here for school George. Not boys." Izzie said, "But you've got to agree that his hair is absolutely insane… I wonder how much product he uses"

"Ugh, Izzie." Meredith groaned. "Just because you don't have homework doesn't mean we don't."

"Correction: you guys are all doing notes, and I do have homework. I'm just not doing it with all of you guys in the room" Izzie shrugged, "I'm going to head back and finish my french worksheet. You coming George?"

"Yeah, I'm basically done. Hopefully I don't get cut for being bad at business." George uttered. "Well good night. See you in tutor tomorrow."

"Or earlier" Izzie added before earning a small glare from Meredith. "We'll see you in tutor."

"Good night guys." Meredith called as they existed there room and Cristina said a quiet good night as well. "That was eventful." sighed Meredith.

"Tell me about it, i'm going to go brush my teeth." Cristina said, walking into the bathroom.

"I'll come with" Meredith said, perking up.

Cristina converted back to her emotionless state, interacting with other people was energy draining. "What?" Cristina demanded, catching one of Meredith's many stares as she was brushing her teeth. She knew that her roommate had questions, all the generic 'Are you okay?' and whatever other bullshit people can pull these days.

"Nothing, just wanted to see if you wanted to talk about what happened." Meredith said quickly.

"There's nothing to say, I'm fine Meredith. I really am. I don't need for you to take care of me, i'm perfectly fine."

"You're not fine, but i'm not going to push it… it's probably killing you."

Cristina inhaled sharply, closing her eyes to rinse her face. "It is, it's driving me insane. But in the end, i can't do anything about it. He died and… I-I just don't want to talk about it. Okay?"

"Okay," Meredith said gently. "I'll be here for you."

"I know you will" Cristina gave her a small smile, before turning around and exiting the bathroom. Her thoughts were still whirling within her, replaying everything that happened today. Being detached, it's what protected her. She couldn't- she wouldn't get that emotionally wrecked again. But in spite of everything, it happened again. The nightmares were still there, haunting her every night since her brothers death, only escalating with her fathers. The constant waking up to shivers of cold sweat, panicked heart and shaky hands. It was torture, and the cold necklace that pressed against the outskirts of her heart, reminding her of him; of the life she couldn't save and will never see again. It was a constant, heat-aching reminder of the many things she could have done. How long until she broke? How long until she can't take the pain anymore?

Nobody knew, and neither did she.