A/N: Sorry this has taken so long! This cold is still kicking my butt. When I want to sleep, I can't, and when I don't need to sleep (like at work) I can't help it. Ugh!

"She's your…" Dean asked, stunned at the new information. "She's your wife?"

"Yes. She was my wife. Claire. And that's my son Daniel." Jim said.

"What happened to them?" Sam asked as Dean passed him the picture.

Jim took a ragged breath before answering. He took the picture from Sam and handed it back to John. "They died two hours after this photo was taken." Again, there were shocked looks from everyone in the room, which Jim took advantage of to tell the story. "It was Daniel's fourth birthday. Claire wasn't much of a cook, so I was making Daniel's favorite dinner. Claire took him for a walk so he wouldn't see. They were hit by a guy that was too drunk to know he was too drunk to drive."

"Jim, I'm sorry." John said sincerely. "I really am."

"Don't pity me." Jim seethed. "I told you so you'd understand. It's been more than twenty years and I still miss Claire and Daniel so much sometimes that I can barely breathe. So, do you understand the level of pissed off it makes me when you have a son here who would give his life up for you so that you didn't have to be sick and in pain for twelve hours, and you dump him because he isn't living the life that you wanted?"

"Jim…" John started to say, before being cut off.

"I did not say you could talk." Jim said. "John, I know you lost Mary. And I know you lost her in a horrible, horrible way that most people could scarcely imagine. But you do not have a monopoly on suffering. You do not get to hurt anyone else because you've been hurt. And you especially do not get to hurt Sammy because you've been hurt."

"I haven't hurt him." John stubbornly insisted.

"Yes, John, you have. And I'm still not finished. It not only pisses me off that you abandoned Sam because you didn't like his choices, but that God chose to take the blessing that was my son, who I treasured and loved and cherished, and decided to give that blessing to you. So you have a decision to make. You can listen to what Sam has to say, and you can tell him how you really feel about him, or you can walk out that front door right now."

John nodded, too stunned at having the same basic ultimatum that he'd given Sam months earlier thrown back in his face. Jim turned to Sam and grabbed his shoulder to catch his attention. Sam had tears in his eyes as Jim said to him,

"I know this may not mean a lot coming from me, because you need to hear it from your father. But no matter how anyone else feels about you, I am proud of you. Bobby is proud of you. Caleb is proud of you. You do have family that cares about and loves you, Sam. And whenever you need a place to come home to, this front door is always open for you. Do you hear me?"

Sam nodded. "Yes. I hear you. Thank you."

"My pleasure, Sam. I mean that. You and your brother have given me back a lot of joy that I thought I lost when Daniel died. It's the least I can do for you." Jim released Sam's shoulder and turned back to John. He pulled a key out of his pocket and slammed it on the table in front of John. "The Impala wouldn't start because the key on your key ring is a dummy key. There's nothing wrong with the car. I'll leave you three alone, but I'll be close. Make your choice."

Jim turned out of the room, taking one more look at Sam. John was reeling. He'd wondered what had gotten Jim into hunting, but he also knew that most people did not care to talk about their reasons, so he'd never asked. John just couldn't reconcile the depths of Jim's loss with the person he'd become. Jim's voice reverberated in his head.

Do you understand the level of pissed off it makes me when you have a son here who would give his life up for you so that you didn't have to be sick and in pain for twelve hours, and you dump him because he isn't living the life that you wanted?

I know you lost Mary. And I know you lost her in a horrible, horrible way that most people could scarcely imagine. But you do not have a monopoly on suffering. You do not get to hurt anyone else because you've been hurt. And you especially do not get to hurt Sammy because you've been hurt.

"Dad?" John looked up to see Sam wiping his face as he said quietly, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

John felt his heart crack. Had it really become so hard for him to talk that Sam thought John didn't want him? "Sam, I do want to. The problem is, I don't know how to."

"What do you mean?"

"Sam, how could you want anything to do with me?" John asked. "Son, I've regretted telling you not to come back every single day."

Sam shrugged. "You're my dad."

John smiled. "I don't deserve you."

"Dad, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said that night. We are a family. We always will be. But I'm not sorry for leaving. You didn't give me much of a reason to stay." Sam expected an explosive outburst at what he said, but none came.

"I know." John said. "I know I didn't. And I'm sorry, Sam. I can't say that enough. I just don't know how to be the dad you need anymore."

"Dad, I don't want anything from you. Nothing material, anyway." Sam said. "I just want you to care."

"Sam, I've always cared." John said. "I know I don't show it or tell you too often, but I do care about you."

"Then why can't you just tell me sometimes?" Sam begged. "Dad, I've had nights where I stay up all night feeling so guilty that I can barely sleep or focus or eat. Jess'll say to me that she loves me and I have this little voice in the back of my head saying that she shouldn't because my own dad doesn't."

John took a deep breath and thought to himself damn it, time to swallow my pride. His mind was still reeling from Jim's story. To have a son taken away so suddenly was something John had been terrified would happen for practically Sam and Dean's entire life.

"When you told me you were going to school, all I could think about, the only thing that kept blaring in my head, was that you were going to be alone. It scared me to death, Sam. If you're alone, I can't protect you."

Sam nodded. He could understand his father's words but he didn't want to chance believing them.

"Answer Jim's question. What do you need from me?"

"I just need you to understand. Understand that hunting isn't in me. That me leaving doesn't mean I hate you and Dean, it just means that I'm taking time to figure myself out. Dad, just like you say you've always cared for me, I've always cared for you. You are the bravest man I've ever met. You're a hero." Sam said. "But I never felt like I belonged with you as a hunter. Or as your kid." John started to apologize again, but Sam cut him off. "No. I don't want another apology. Can we just…start over?"

"How do we do that?"

Sam shrugged. "Call me at school sometimes. Ask how I'm doing. How Jess is doing. If you can do all that, then I'll come join you guys to hunt whenever I can."

"Sounds like a deal." John said.

"But" Sam said, "I am not giving up my life to help you. I won't abandon Jess suddenly to go on a hunt. I won't skip finals or midterms or work to go on a hunt. I plan to marry this girl, dad. She's the one. And if we do get married, then it's over. My life's all about her. Can you handle that?"

John twitched slightly at yet another dig at their lifestyle. The old reflex of yelling at Sam for being selfish was coming in strong. But ruining this chance to make up with Sam would cost him not only Sam this time, but Dean too. An old saying of Mary's floated into his mind. Would you rather be right or be happy? John decided that this time he'd rather be happy.

"You're right, son. Come on. Let's eat this lunch Jim made."