CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT
(BPOV)
I stared down at the small blue and white box clutched in my hands, my eyes glued to the lettering that read "Digital Clear Blue Easy Read." I tried to remember to breathe, knowing that everything in life as I knew it would change in the matter of a few minutes. My hands shook as I tore the small box open, digging out the test and laying it on the bathroom sink. I could hear Jacobs foot steps just outside the door, his shadow lingering underneath it as I tried to calm myself.
This would change everything. Our current... our future. It would touch every aspect of our lives.
Nothing would be the same ever again if it turned out to be positive.
The sound of Jacobs voice cut through the unsettling silence then.
"Bells... honey? Are you alright? Want me to come in?"
"Um- I'm fine- I'll be out in a minute." I replied, ripping open the flimsy foil that held the test, my hands trembling so bad that I dropped it twice. I placed it next to the plastic cup half full of my pee, the anxiety coursing through me enough to make my heart feel as if it was going to beat out of my chest.
This was really happening. There was no turning back now. No way to rewind the hands of time.
I sucked in a sharp breath, dipping the end of the stick into the cup for the recommended five seconds and then laying it down flat on a piece of tissue. I quickly opened the door, seeing Jacob leaning against the frame with a worried but eager expression on his handsome face.
"Are we- I mean- are you?" He asked, reaching for me.
"I don't know... not yet anyway. Test takes three minutes to show a result. We'll know then." I replied, wrapping my arms around his waist and placing my head on his chest.
"It's gonna be okay, honey. I promise you."
"I know it will. Because I have you."
"No matter what the result is... I love you so much, Bells."
I nestled myself further into him, counting down the remaining seconds in my head as he held me tighter.
"We'll make it."
"Of course we will." Jacob replied, his fingers running through my hair with a sigh. "We always will."
When the three minutes had passed, I forced myself to pull it together, Jacobs arms releasing me as he stared toward the bathroom.
"I don't know if- I can look-..." I admitted, my breathing coming out in short gasps when I spoke.
"Want me to look for you?" He offered, reaching for my hand and heading for the bathroom.
I nodded silently to him as he snatched the test from the counter, his gaze fixed on me as I glanced down at his hands.
"Wait-" I stammered, shaking my head. "I changed my mind. I wanna look first."
"Okay, honey." He replied, handing me the test with the results facing down in his palm. "You look first."
I stared up into his handsome face, seeing the immense hope and love that shined so brightly in his brown eyes. I wanted a future with him and him alone. He was what made me whole. The piece of puzzle that completed me. He pushed me to believe in myself and trusted my choices when I made them. His love was solid and his arms secure for me to run to, but he was never overbearing or harsh with demands upon it. He always gave me the chance to succeed or fail. Jacob made me smile and laugh more and I never had to pretend that everything was okay when it wasn't. With him, I could drop the fake smile and put on a real one. He always listened to me and made me feel so safe. I never had to worry about holding back with him. He took the time to show me just how much he truly cared and that he wasn't just pretending. He never gave me limits, instead he made me feel that a love like ours was limitless and if that was true, then having a child with him, no matter how much sooner it happened for us then planned, was a blessing that nothing could tarnish or taint. Even if it meant far more responsibility for us than we had ever known, that would be okay- more than okay. Jacob wasn't your average guy, he wasn't careless and lazy, he was loyal and dutiful with the amount of responsibility he already shouldered. There wasn't one person in this world that I wanted more than I wanted him.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning up on my tip toes and kissing him with a renewed sense of security in us. Jacobs arms pulled me to him, his returning kiss full of passion.
"I love you, Jacob." I soon breathed against his parted lips as I moved back from him and turned the test over in my hand. An audible gasp left me as the word "Pregnant" flashed before me, my tears welling up and spilling over when I raised my head to meet Jacobs intense gaze while he waited for me to say something.
"Honey..."
I held it up to him, my heart beating a thousand beats a minute when he took the test from my shaking hand and looked for himself.
"We're pregnant, Jacob. I'm carrying your baby."
He stared down at the test for seconds on end that felt more like minutes to me. His own hands shaking some as the proof to what I had just said stared up at him. I took his face in my hands, lifting his head to see the tears that loomed in his eyes.
"Bells- you're really pregnant, honey." He whispered to me in disbelief, looking at me like I was the brightest thing he'd ever seen, as he swept me up off my feet and into his strong arms. "You really are."
I let out a surprising laugh, the sound of it shocking even me as I wrapped my legs around his waist, his face burying into my shoulder with a responding chuckle of his own.
"There's really a baby in there."
"Our baby, honey." Jacob replied, his tone strained and his arms pressing me tighter to him.
"Yes... our baby."
I felt the thrill from his words make me smile wide as I thought of what they could look like. Whether or not they would have Jacobs russet skin tone or my paled one. His eyes or mine... or if they would be a boy or a girl.
He pulled back, still holding me up in his arms with his tears running down his cheeks as he stared at me with a look of awe plaguing his features now. I wiped his tears with my fingertips and placed a kiss to his lips, our laughter soon forcing us to break apart.
"This is real-" Jacob sighed, shaking his head as he lowered me to the ground, my whole body feeling numb from the adrenaline rush of it all.
"It is." I replied, taking the test back in my hands and looking at it again to be sure neither one of us had read it wrong. "There's really a baby-"
I placed a hand on my stomach, marveling that all of this was true.
"You need to be looked at, honey. Make sure everything's okay. If you want- Sue can check you over. If you're comfortable with that."
"Yeah, I trust Sue. Will you be there with me?"
"Of course I will."
I nodded to him as the hard realization hit me then.
"Charlie..."
Jacob met my gaze with understanding and placed a kiss to my forehead, his solid presence alone giving me strength as the fear of telling my father made me sick to my stomach.
"We'll tell him, sweetheart. Together- when you're ready."
I swallowed hard as I thought of the many guns in my fathers gun collection at the house and how angry he had been already. This would surely be enough to push him right over the damn edge. I was afraid of what his reaction would be. Afraid that he would tell me how reckless of us this had been. I closed my eyes and sat down on Jacobs bed, my head spinning from the thought of how very angry Charlie would be when he learned this.
"Come here, honey." Jacob whispered, wrapping me in his embrace. His words comforting to hear. "Charlie loves you- even if he gets upset at first- I know your dad and he'll come around, Bells."
"What if he doesn't?"
"He will, honey. Trust me... please."
"I don't want him to be angry with you."
"I can take it, Bells. It's alright. I don't want you stressed because of it. So let me handle your dad, okay?"
"He has guns. A lot of them." I sighed, pulling away to see Jacobs amused expression in response to this.
"I can run- really fast." He chuckled, caressing my cheek and placing a kiss to my lips. "It'll be alright, honey."
I had absolute faith in Jacob but knew my father well enough to know how upset he would be and I worried that he would take it out on Jacob. I couldn't stand the thought of them at odds. I wanted Charlie to be supportive, wanted him to understand, but I knew as my father just what a far stretch that was. He would worry for my future, or lack thereof he would assume I now had. He would blame Jacob and Jacob would take it without complaint- because that's the kind of man he was, but it would hurt me to see them that way. So full of tension when around one another and estranged. Their relationship meant something to me. What they shared and the respect they had for one another, it meant the world to me and I didn't want any of that to change.
"Are you hungry, honey?" Jacob soon asked, taking my hand and pulling me up from his bed with a grin that lit up his entire face and stopped my heart from the sight of it.
"A little." I admitted to him with a shrug as he lead me out into their small kitchen.
"I can cook something for you."
"I'm kinda in the mood for pizza. If that's ok?"
He nodded, digging his cell out and hitting the speed dial for the pizza place up the street.
"Probably in your best interest if I don't cook." He chuckled, kissing me on the cheek and placing the order for us.
He was right. He could hardly boil water without burning it and while I appreciated his offer to cook for me, I also knew Billy couldn't afford to replace his entire kitchen anytime soon. I couldn't help but stifle a giggle at the thought of poor Billy's face if Jacob had actually attempted to cook.
"Pizza will be ready in twenty-minutes, honey." Jacob sighed, drawing me in closer to him as a shiver left me. "Are you cold?"
"It's chilly in here." I replied, feeling his hands slide up and down my arms in an attempt to warm me.
He leaned down for a kiss, the innocent nature of it swiftly turning hungry as his hands roamed down over my hips, the feel of his evident arousal making my breath hitch. His tongue met mine as I pressed myself further into him with a moan. He kissed me thoroughly, pouring all of himself into it. My body tingled and before I could think, I was being lifted and my hands were in his hair as he carried me to the couch, laying me beneath him there with a throaty chuckle.
"We only have twenty- minutes." He warned with a sly grin to me.
"Then you better hurry!" I breathed, seeing the teasing nature in his gaze be replaced with lust when I pulled him down to me.
As hard as we tried to hurry, ridding our clothes in record time and eager for more, the small size of the couch made it more than just a little difficult for us. No matter what position I was in, or how Jacob tried to move himself, it wasn't comfortable for either of us. I couldn't help but laugh at our over zealous efforts as Jacob soon got up with an exasperated huff.
"This is not working, honey."
His look of frustration only made me laugh all the more and I was awarded for it by him tickling me until I couldn't breathe.
"This is really proving to be impossible." I agreed, sitting up after him with a sigh of my own and glancing down at the floor with a hopeful expression to him.
He shook his head to me in response with a disbelieving look as I nervously drew my bottom lip into my mouth.
"The floor? That won't be comfortable for you, honey." He argued.
"I'll be fine." I insisted, seeing the hesitancy in his eyes as he watched me stand and approach him, the sight of his erection making me ache for him now. I wanted him hard and hot and deep and fast. I beckoned him to me, getting down on my knees and taking his length in my hand. He groaned in response, making me whimper from the sound, his eyes darkening with a hunger that had me wet for him.
His head tilted back as my hand worked him from base to tip, my tongue soon tasting the salty serum that oozed there.
"Bells-" He groaned, his movements fast when he reached for me, pulling me up into his arms as he tore the blanket off the back of the sofa and spread it out on the cold floor. His body was tense when he laid me down there and entered me with a contented moan. I gasped at the exquisite feel of him, basking in the comfort of his warmth and caresses as he filled me inch by delicious inch, until we were completely one. My body felt as if it were on fire- the burn of yearning for more- torturous and exquisite and leaving me unable to control myself.
"Jacob-"
Our frenzied motions soon became something more sensual, something more slow and sweet, as Jacob switched his pace, his eyes locking with mine with his whispered words.
"You're my soul, honey. You're the first thing I wanna see in the morning and the last thing I wanna see at night."
His firm caresses changed to softer touches as his body molded to mine, whispering sweet nothings in my ear that had now become my everything, and I wished that somehow we could stay in our own separate world like this forever. Set apart from everything else and drowning in only each other.
A/N: Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter :-) Please review! I love hearing from all of you! Till next time...