November 6, 1998 - US Safehouse
"Vacation starts now - thank you, see you all later, sorry for the trouble and the stressful bullshit, and good bye."
Annabelle climbed up onto Norberta's back, wrapped her arms around the base of her neck, and leaned down into her. Pressed to her; she rubbed her cheek against Norberta's scales. She smiled over at Anju, gave her a little wave. Anju responded with a wave of a wing and an encouraging look.
"Are you sure you're fine with this?" Annabelle said suddenly.
"Yes," Anju replied simply. "I told you, I can handle things on my own. You need this, so go, and don't worry about anything. Just get rid of all that stress inside you, and have fun, and come back with your head on straight."
"Alright. Just- you know, last chance to keep me around," Annabelle joked.
Anju smiled. "You'll be back. And as long as you come back to me...I'm fine with wherever you go, and with whatever you have to do for yourself, and however long you'll be away for."
"Alright." Annabelle swallowed through a tight throat. Blinked and wiped quickly at her eyes. "I just- I'm not running away here, Anju. This isn't some abandonment thing, where I'm not going to show up again for another ten years or whatever. I'm not going to be some coward, some- some deadbeat mother who runs out on her family. It'll just be a- a couple weeks. I know I've had problems, I know I haven't been the best with all this motherhood stuff, but I'm not just going to leave you because of it, and I-"
"I know. Annabelle: it's all right!"
"O-okay..." Annabelle tugged at a few strands of hair, ducked her head and pressed her lips to Norberta's scales.
"Not leave - not leave me! Please!"
Daphne came rushing out the front door of the safe house, stumbling her way across the grass toward the gathering with wide eyes and quivering lips pale.
Annabelle sighed, slid off Norberta's backside. She quickly closed the distance to Daphne, and found herself being squeezed into a big, overwhelming hug. She let it go on for a few seconds, listening to the sniffles and whimpers from her best friend. She pushed Daphne back with her metal arm, stepped back and looked up at her utterly devastated face. "Daphne, hey, listen, I'm just going away for a few weeks - you'll be fine, everyone here is going to take care of you, I promise you. I just - look at me, Daphne - I just need this. I need this time for me, I need...I'm so sorry, okay? I'm sorry, but I love you, and you're always going to be my best friend, and I will come back and I won't leave you unless I have to again, but I have to go now. Just for a while. Please? Daphne?" She turned away, made to climb back atop Norberta - but her wrist was suddenly caught in a strong grip. Long fingers wrapped around her arm, nails dug into her skin like knives. Very literally so: she felt a hot slicing across her skin, and she felt a stinging, searing pain there. She looked down at her arm and found a sight of drizzling blood.
"No, please! Please no! Please - I- with! I with - you! Come with! Don't go! Not leave me - alone...again."
"Okay, Daphne, I-" Annabelle screwed up her face and turned back to face Daphne. She took her hands, pulled her down so they were at eye level - a difficult feat, when one considered both Daphne's unnatural height and Annabelle's unnatural lack of. But she managed, by gently guiding Daphne down onto her knees in the grass. "Listen, if I were to even- think about this, would you...could you promise me to...to behave? To be...quiet, and to listen to me when I tell you to do something, and to...Daphne, this is important - look at me!" She reached out and held Daphne's face in hands, met her eyes against all instinct screaming otherwise. "Daphne, do you want to go on this vacation with me and Norberta?"
"Yes, yes! Don't leave me- again!"
"Okay, then...I need you to promise me this, and I need you to repeat it back to me. Can you promise me that you'll behave yourself?"
"Promise...behave self," Daphne strangled out, a look of supreme concentration on her face. She was having a particularly bad time with getting the words from brain to mouth today. "Promise."
"Okay. And...can you promise me that you'll listen to me at all times?"
"Yes. Promise listen. All time."
"Okay. Daphne, climb aboard Norberta then - I'm going to use a very powerful sticking charm on you to make sure you don't fall off ever. Understand?"
"Understand!" Daphne cried. Beaming and laughing, she rushed right up to and tripped against Norberta's flank. She scrambled up with uneven, twisted limbs, grasping at scales and spines and doing a terrible job at hauling herself up and over bodily. "Norberta," she exclaimed, stroking and patting at her scales with overzealous firmness. "Not ride- long- t-time! Egypt trip. When...I go away..."
[And now I already know I'm going to regret carrying you around again,] Norberta murmured out, tossing her head and twisting her neck around to blink at Daphne.
[I'm sorry for her,] Annabelle said quickly, clambering back on Norberta's backside and sliding herself in behind Daphne. [I'll keep her from messing with you as best I can.]
[Thank you. I know she can't really help it - I'll try not to mind her rough treatment,] Norberta answered, a dash of humor in her voice.
Annabelle healed her sliced up arm, then stowed her wand away in her pocket - right beside her extension-charmed, shrunken bag. She gave Daphne's ribs a light poke with two fingers. "Okay, so we're all ready to go?"
"Ready! Vacation fun," Daphne said enthusiastically.
[I'll show you fun, little again-child...] Norberta rose up on all four of her legs, stretched her wings wide and raised her long neck. She gazed down at the little crowd gathered in front of the safehouse. Then, she whipped her head up and around and let loose a great and powerful stream of blue flames into the sky. [Thoust ist thy day that thee all shall remember as thee day thou ort hath nearest succeeded in tameth thy dragine queen,] she began, in tones low and rumbling. [Dragon Queen to be known in future as Norberta The Wonderful by all thine across thy lands! Thy day of your greatest disappointment! Thy day of...terrible things - a plague upon thee! Yeh? Anyway...ahem: thoust dearest queen takes flight on this day, with upon thy back two women, women of untoldest beauty and courage, and a-]
[Can we just fly already?] Annabelle interrupted. [I'm not translating any of this, you know.]
[Oh all right - but you asked for it.]
[Yeah, I did just ask-]
Norberta pushed off the grass with an extraordinary flap of her wings that sent them skyrocketing up into the air like a bottle cork. Ten feet, twenty, thirty- fifty- eighty-
Annabelle wrapped her arms around Daphne's waist, who was shrieking with insane laughter as they continued to rise. And rise. Higher and higher- wind rushing- numbing cold. [Hey! Norberta sweetie, I think we're high enough by now! We can start moving forward now! Also, if I fall off and you don't catch me-]
Norberta continued to ascend with great magical aid. [You can cast a hover spell on yourself, or apparate back to the ground again - you'll be fine, you baby!]
[That isn't the point! The point is that I don't want you to get into a habit of almost killing me for the fun of it just because I have safety measures!]
[Oh, all right.] Norberta slowed to an idle hover, her wings beating absently. She scanned the earth below them, turning her head this way and that. [Where are we going first? Do you want to find a nice place to set up the camp first, or go find some city and get a nice meal?]
[Meal first, I think. Let's see if Daphne can really behave herself for us before we commit to taking her anywhere else.]
[Alright. I think I remember a sizable human city...somewhere in that direction.] Norberta blasted a quick stream of flames ahead and a little bit off to her left. She leaned forward and flapped her wings faster and harder, and they took up a gentle glide over the landscape.
After two hours of nothing but flying (during which Annabelle zoned out entirely, getting lost in her own worries and thoughts - about Daphne, Maria, Ellesmere-who-wasn't-Ellesmere, and so much else), Norberta again slowed - hovered in place.
[What? Are you getting tired already?] Annabelle questioned. [I didn't think you were getting that old yet - you're still, what, only eight? And how long does your kind live? Something like four hundred to six hundred years?]
Norberta rumbled a low growl of thoughtfulness. She dipped her long neck and looked around. Examined far, far below herself.
[What?] Annabelle asked again, a frown taking over her face. She chanced a careful lean to one side, staring down at the earth herself. [Do you see something? Someone we might need to-]
Suddenly, Norberta closed her wings, shut them flat against her flank. She began to drop like a boulder, twisting and tumbling wildly, head over tail, rolling and flipping left and right, random and chaotic. In all of this wild flailing, Annabelle was thrown off of her.
For the first two or three seconds of freefall, Annabelle was both screaming her head off and trying very hard to focus on anything else but that she was in open air without even a parachute. The next five seconds were spent slowing herself down and stabilizing herself with wandless magic.
And then came the next ten seconds, during which Annabelle found herself spontaneously replacing her screams with laughter.
Far below her, Norberta was circling in place, her long neck stretched up, her slitted eyes fixed upon Annabelle. Daphne had leaned forward, pressed herself against Norberta and wrapped long arms around the base of her neck. She wasn't in the least bit afraid of what was happening, her giggles reaching up to Annabelle.
Shaking with cold and adrenaline, dizziness overtaking her head, Annabelle reached Norberta and gently landed on her back again. She hugged herself to Daphne, grinning from ear to ear. Still.. [What the hell was that all about?]
[Sometimes, when I get bored flying around on my own, I have fun like that,] Norberta responded, a deep mirth in her voice.
[I can see why! That was amazing- it was- it was- oh my gosh, I want to do that again soon! Just...warn me next time, beforehand?] Annabelle added, putting some disapproval into her tone. [What if I didn't have a sticking charm on Daphne? She couldn't have saved herself at all, not with how her mind is.]
[I'm sorry. I will - warn you next time! And I'll catch you next time with my own claws, if it would make you feel any safer about it. No wait, I'll hold Daphne in my claws, keep her close to my chest! She had fun, I'm sure she'd have even more fun being on the underside!]
Annabelle spit a great glob of saliva into her hand, and then rubbed that hand all over Norberta's scales with exaggerated messiness. [Perfect!]
[Gross - human kisses!] Norberta shook her head, let out a huff of flames. [I hope you didn't lose your bag. That was everything you needed.]
[I didn't; I still have it,] Annabelle responded. She hesitated. Patted her pants pocket to be certain. [Yeah, I definitely still have it.]
[Good.]
[Yeah. Great.]
[I'll get us going again...]
Norberta resumed her flight. At random points along the rest of their journey, she would spontaneously break out into aerial acrobatics - barrel rolls, spirals and loops - that left both Daphne and Annabelle screaming and giggling their heads off.
After a nice time in the city - during which Daphne did behave herself very well - they'd left it for the wilderness, for the nearest forest expanse, and set down there. Set up a little camp.
A little, nonmagic tent, a little magical campfire.
Annabelle lay back in her sleeping bag, and stared up at the tent's ceiling.
Daphne was curled up next to her - had a hand on her arm. She was close, pressed to her.
Annabelle let her be, even though for her...it was really uncomfortable. Because it was Daphne. And...because it was Daphne.
Norberta was curled up on the other side of the fire pit, totally awake and alert despite how she was resting her head on her front paws.
Annabelle lowered her gaze from the ceiling and shifted insetad to watching Norberta a while through the tent door's insect screen.
"Love you."
Annabelle looked at Daphne. Smiled a little. "I love you, too." Silence again - a moment. Then, she found herself speaking up. "Daphne, do you remember...when we first arrived at Hogwarts? You remember when we met?"
Daphne's pale lips widened, her black eyes glistened in firelight with a warmth of their own. "Yes."
"When we met, that first night, I was...quiet, and I was jumpy, and- you weren't. You...just started talking away at me, taking me by the hand and promising me that you'd help me after I told you I had no clue where to go or what to do. And the next morning, that first day, I was still a mess, I was shaking my butt off. Then you came over to me and you stopped that in me. You smiled, you didn't hug me. Just took my hand - after you asked if you could. Just a night with me, and you already knew me. I still didn't like it much, but for you, because you weren't doing anything more...I let you. And I liked your smile, I loved it, Daphne. Nobody in my life before then had ever looked at me the way you did. It was kind, and it was good, and you said my hair was pretty, and you- you weren't like anybody I'd ever known before. Except...sort of Ycu. But even then, of course, she was a spider, she was all logical and practical, and not really very warm or encouraging or anything. Sure, she learned to praise me at times, she was always a quick study and knew what I needed...but it wasn't really earnest on her part. I don't blame her for that. But anyway- my- my point is that you, Daphne, you...you were honest. You were warm. And you pushed me, when I needed that, and you gave it to me and Daphne I'm so, so..."
"Glad...met?"
"Yeah. You dragged me to therapy - literally - when I didn't want to, when I was scared or...just too upset or angry or stupid to bother. And you made me go anyway, and by the end of the day's session I'd feel so much better again, and it was cause of you. And, later, you tried to get me to go to court. To testify against my relatives. Sure, nobody really needed me to, and it'd be horribly traumatic, so everyone told me I didn't have to...and I was relieved...but you tried to get me to reconsider. And, Daphne, I should have. Looking back on it now, I should have. It would have been brave, and it probably would have helped me in the long term. To know that I'd done that, gotten through it. But I didn't, I- I stayed away, I was silent, and...I never went there. And now I wish I had. I wish I'd said the things to them I should have said, even given them a good cussing out for it all."
"Still can." Daphne hesitated. "Strong now. Brave now. Enough to go tell. Yell. Cuss. Hurt them."
"I...yeah. But they're in prison, and I-" Annabelle breathed. Slow, deep. In, out. In and out. She squeezed Daphne's hand. Hard. "If I d-did...could you be there for me? Come with me? Please? I- I'd want you, and I'd want Norberta somewhere nearby, too."
For a long minute, there was silence. Daphne's lips moved silently, her eyes screwed up with struggle behind. Then- "Like old times."
"Yeah. Like old times again." Annabelle smiled. "If I try to run away from this one again, you drag me back, okay?"
"Course," Daphne said firmly.
November 15, 1998 - St. Yelena's Corrections Facility, Magical Britain
The visit was easy enough to arrange, all things considered - who they were, who Annabelle was, the nature of the prison itself.
As for the rest...
Annabelle walked through the prison's bright, clean corridors, clutching Daphne's hand the whole way through.
Breathe. Just breathe.
Don't feel, don't remember. Don't think!
Just breathe, and keep on breathing.
Ycu...you taught me to run, escape on instinct alone with nothing else involved. Until after, safe again, until then, when you could think, and feel, and remember. You taught me to act, and nothing else. And I'm still following that, Ycu. I still have all your words in my head and my soul. I do. But, today...when I feel like running...I need to not. Stupid, illogical, irrational, against all sense of self-preservation - yeah, that's true. But I'm not a spider, Ycu. I'm a human woman. And humans...are so goddamn stupid and irrational it hurts to even look at most of the time. And you knew that, so you can forgive me for this today; for ignoring everything you ever told me.
I'm not an exception - you knew that - and today's the best example of that. Because here I am, going to meet them...and what am I thinking? That five years in prison actually changed anything? That maybe, just maybe...I'll get a look, a word...an apology? Regret? Remorse? Sadness? Fairy tale bullshit, is what Lisa would say all these thoughts are here. But I'm having them, and I'm...I'm hoping. And I hate it, and you'd be disappointed. You'd say forget about them, because they're out of sight, out of mind. Not threats anymore. No power, no hold, nothing over me anymore. Except they do, Ycu, and you couldn't understand that. They're still in me, in my head, my soul. What they did to me, it's there. Always there. And...they changed me, they taught me, too. I hate it, I've always worked so goddamn hard to not be what they made me...to forget the lessons they taught me...but I can't. Sometimes I slip up, sometimes...and I'm always so scared of it. Scared...
I'm like them, Ycu. It's buried inside me, it's something I control, hide, but...it's there. I'm like them, and I don't want to be and I hate it so much! But I am and I can't change it. It's always going to be my first thought, my first impulse: hit, break, cuss, destroy. Hate. Hurt. Abuse.
What do I want from them? I want them to say sorry, I want them to be different. I just want to hear it, see it - it won't actually change anything, I know that, it won't mean I'll start visiting all the time, or talking over the phone, it won't mean a damn thing. Things won't be all wonderful, if they say it, if they are. Nothing will be different between them and me - but something will be different inside me. For my soul, it'll be something I want and I'll have and I'll be able to walk away and never look back again, and know that it happened. Just..for peace of mind. For- for closure. Closure I never...got in therapy, or at the trial that I never went to. Yeah, that's it: I just want closure here. Bad or good, I want to know.
Annabelle stopped outside the door to the visitor's room, glanced up at Daphne and squeezed her hand tighter than ever. I'm strong enough to know. I'm strong, and I'm brave, and I'm powerful! I can be scared, and maybe they can hit me, yell at me again, make me tremble and piss my underwear again...but this time I'm going to be one with the power. I'm going to be the one in control. Not them, never them - never again. I can leave any time I want, like Daphne said. Or, like Norberta said...I can obliterate them with a thought.
Annabelle let Daphne's hand go. "Go back outside and wait with Norberta," she instructed, trying to sound stern. Daphne looked down at her a moment, worry in her black eyes; she turned and wandered off back down the hallway. Annabelle breathed. In, out. She pushed open the door and stepped into the visitor's room.
And there was her aunt, sitting as primly as anything on a really nice, leather sofa of pleasing blue coloration, that contrasted with the cool creamy color of the walls.
Petunia set eyes on her, and she paled. Her hands in her lap grew closer, her fingers interlocked. She said nothing.
Annabelle stepped closer, her metal arm on clear display on account of her tank top. Her metal hand was held in a tight fist at her side. She reached her other arm across herself to grasp it in flesh hand; she closed the distance in full. Stood before her aunt, stood over her. Looked down at her, despite her own shortness of stature.
"Hello." Annabelle's voice was all throaty and dry. Here, now, actually in the flesh and in the room...she felt a whole lot smaller than even was usual for her. Where the hell had her resolve to be strong and brave gone all of a sudden?
"H-hello, Annabelle." Quiet. Hesitant. Nothing in it? No disappointment, no anger, no malice no spite or disgust. And...
Annabelle? Not "girl"? Or "little bitch"? Or "worthless slut"? None of that, now? Just...Annabelle?
Annabelle let her metal hand go, let her flesh arm swing to her side; Petunia followed the movement, then set her eyes on the metal limb itself. Silver and shiny. Magical and powerful. Annabelle seated herself on the sofa's end, putting a gap of a whole two feet between them. She shifted to one side, looked at her aunt. Swept her up and down with eyes alone. She looked the same as ever. Maybe a little paler, maybe a little thinner, but she looked the same. The same as the woman who always...
Annabelle breathed. Faster, shallower. She reached into her waistband for her wand, drew it out. Set it on her lap, held it there in flesh hand. Her aunt's eyes stayed only to Annabelle's face - no straying. No straying to the places they'd strayed so many times before; like the place where she had her wand now. A part of Annabelle thought it was kind of funny: her aunt finally had an actual reason to look at that area of her body, and she wasn't doing it at all. With her wand, Annabelle could kill her, right here and right now, in a hundred different ways and as effortlessly as she was breathing the air out of her lungs. Her aunt didn't seem afraid of that possibility. A part of Annabelle wanted her to be afraid.
Her and her aunt, they sat together like this for a good couple minutes. Just...looking at each other.
Annabelle drew breath again, deeper, and far slower. Her shaking shoulders weren't shaking so much now. "Do you...do you- have anything you want to say to me?" A dry, shaky voice, small and and alone in the spacious room. Then, the silence again. The silence she loved. But not the one she wanted right now. Not here, not at this moment. Please...I don't want to just sit like this for another hour...please say something, do something - yell at me, hit me again, or throw yourself at my feet and cry and beg me the way you always made me beg to you when you came into my room and I was so goddamn scared and...
Petunia sucked in a long breath of air. Met Annabelle's eyes. "Annabelle...how you were treated, your whole life by me - you never deserved it. You were hurt, and you were scared, and you were violated, and I did that to you and I never should have. You deserved a better life, and a better home, and a better family. You never should have gone through all the horrible things that you did - because of me. That night when you called the police, that was good, and it was brave, and it was the best thing you ever could have done for yourself. You...you did the best thing you could by getting away from me, and keeping me away these past five years. You've been...so much better off, never seeing me or hearing from me all these years."
"Okay." Annabelle looked to the right of her aunt's head. "I...I wa- I want to know why. Why'd you ever- do all that to me? Why- how could you ever do anything that you did to me? What the hell- what did you even tell yourself in your own head so you could keep on doing it? So you could go to bed every night and wake up again the next morning, and do it all over again?!" At the end her voice was so high and jittery that it hurt her own ears, and she hated how she sounded as a matter of course - like that little girl again! She hated it, hated it, hated it, why was she like this again, why was her chest so- why couldn't she- she was supposed to be strong right now! She was supposed to be- in control! Of herself, of all this, of her aunt, so why wasn't she? Why was she falling apart again, in a way she hadn't in years?!
"I hated you." Petunia didn't look away. Not once. She didn't hesitate, these words. Words about hate. But not full of hate. Not this time. Just...sad. "I hated everything you reminded me of. None of it was ever your fault, none of it was ever deserved. But it was what it was. Every time I saw you, it was the night I learned that my sister was murdered - from a letter left on a doorstep. Every time I saw you, as you grew up, I saw my sister herself. I saw her eyes, her smile, I saw her face. And I saw her dead. And I hated you for that, and I hated you because you reminded me how much I hated myself. For all those times in my childhood, and after, that I spent hating her. I hated her, I hated the magical world, and I was petty and jealous and bitter, and I gave every inch of those feelings to her, whenever I could. And then all of that...I just put it all onto you, and then all those newer feelings of hate on top of it."
"Okay." Annabelle tightened her grip on her wand. "Makes sense."
Petunia didn't respond. She finally broke eye contact, looked into her lap.
"Six more years, and you get out of here," Annabelle spoke. "Vernon gets out in four."
"Yes."
Annabelle laughed. "How are you going to deal with that?"
"With Vernon?"
"With the world." Annabelle stood. Stalked away, turned back and flicked her wand; Petunia flinched. The sofa cleanly cut itself in half, and the separate and unoccupied half turned into a twenty foot long serpent, coiled and glistening with beautiful blue scales. "Have you been keeping up with the news? Reading the papers, watching TV? I can do this sort of thing whenever I want, and so can thousands of others out there. Freely, right in the open. Whatever we want, whenever we want. There are sapient, giant arachnids and serpents, there are harpies and dragons, elves and dwarves and goblins, centaurs and giants and mermaids, fairies and manticores and nundus and sphinxes, and there are hags and vampires and werewolves and there is magic! The entire world is full of it, and now the whole world knows it, and it's never going to go...go back into some dark cupboard again."
Annabelle strode over to the half-sofa, and casually began to stroke the top of the serpent's blue head. Scratched under its chin. Let it lick at her fingers. She turned to Petunia. "Can you handle that? Or are you going to be one of those people we already have in the world now, who are loud-mouthed and hateful, who call gay people fags and lesbians dykes and bar black people from using their little shops, and who now go around attacking random ass banshees and kicking little hags just because of what they are? You going to be a spiteful, pathetic little piece of shit about it all, or are you going to learn and grow and fucking deal with it?!" She breathed. Heavy. Her heart beat like a drum. She clenched up her metal fist. "Because let me tell you, Petunia, the world doesn't need one more person like that let out into it. It has too many already. It has enough."
Petunia stood, slowly. She walked over to Annabelle, a few steps and they were closer again. Petunia's hand came up, pale and shaking, and she set her palm on the serpent's scales. "I can't just tell you that I've changed."
"You could. But I want to see it," Annabelle replied. She nodded to the serpent. "This is a good gesture, a good sign - nice show. Fine. Good for you, you can touch magic now - not that you ever had a fucking issue with it when I was a kid. But, I want...in six years...I want to see it. Really see it. I'll give you one, one chance to show it to me. Show me you've changed - about everything." She paused. Her mind whirled. "You do that, and maybe I'll think about calling you on the phone every now and again," she started slowly, not even sure if she was lying to her aunt, or to herself, or if she was being honest. "But, ground rule for that here: I'll call you. You will never call me. You understand me? You don't ask me, you don't beg me, you don't demand anything. If I want to talk to you, if I want to hear you, I'll call you and that's fucking that. Be happy with it or you're out of my life until you die. Got it?"
"I understand, Annabelle."
Annabelle stepped forward, stepped closer. Looked up into Petunia's eyes. "We'll see." She slashed her wand out at her side and set the sofa right again, whole and just a sofa. She slipped her wand into her waistband. She stepped back, raised her metal arm - held out her silvery hand of cold power.
Petunia took it.
Annabelle held for a second. Two. Three. She was scared of herself right then that she'd just start squeezing, squeezing and squeezing until she broke her aunt's hand in half and every bone in it. But it passed, that impulse, those worries, and she let go, held her fist in her flesh hand at her waist and stepped back. Annabelle had made up her mind now. Knew what she wanted to do.
"Six years, I'll see you again," she spoke slowly. "I'll be here the day you get released, and I'll take you to see my family and my friends. Let's call it a welcome home party. A way for you to start getting all...acclimated to the way the world is now. Will still be."
"All right, Annabelle. That...sounds nice. Thank you for giving me this chance, I don't even deserve it."
"No, you don't," Annabelle agreed. "I don't care whether or not you fuck it up for yourself - it doesn't affect me, just hurts you - but I am going to tell you that I will care if you treat any of my family or friends in anywhere near the same kind of way you treated me all my childhood. You even give anyone a dirty look, and you're out. I'm never going to let that sort of thing happen again. Not even once."
"I understand."
"Great." Annabelle turned away, started for the door. Pulled it open; she paused. "Bye," she said over a shoulder. Then she walked out.
She strode through the halls, made it back into the waiting area. She passed out through the doors, out into the grass again. Into the sun. She passed beyond the anti-apparition barriers; a quick apparition and she had crossed the lush field and reached Norberta and Daphne (they were playing around together, with the former swiping at and knocking the latter over with a quick and powerful tail from various angles).
Both of them looked at her.
Annabelle threw herself at Norberta, collapsed against her side in the grass, and she started bawling.
Norberta curled up around her, held her tight with legs and tail, and brought a wing down to shield her in warmth and darkness and quiet.
Annabelle cried until she just couldn't anymore, and then she just closed her eyes, turned to one side and drifted off to sleep.
November 26, 1998 - Rynegaul Village
*You've taught me so much, told me about so much - places, objects, technology and magic, and even concepts and ideas, like friendship and family, love and affection, altruism, and art and storytelling in so many different mediums. Then there are the things like science, biology, math and astronomy and geology, history and war and architecture. And still, with everything you've ever described and explained to me, everything you've taught me, I still can't really understand most any of it. I can't even imagine these things. Before meeting you, I never could have - I never even knew they existed!*
While Annabelle listened to Miranwe, she leaned against the outside of the cabin and pulled her coat tighter around herself. She looked out across the village, eyes roaming at random.
*All these things you know, I want to know them too,* Miranwe went on. *I want to know them...how you know them. I want to understand, how you understand it all. I'm going to die in three years, and I know you said that not even humans with their incredible lifespans can learn and experience all of those things before they die - but I want to try. I want to learn, and experience for myself, as much of all these things as I can. Is there some way you can help me to do this?*
*Not me,* Annabelle replied, shaking her head. *But...I might know someone who could. They're very old, very knowledgeable, and very skilled with magic. If anyone could help you with...broadening your horizons...it'd be him.*
*Where is he? Can we go to him now?*
*I- yeah,* Annabelle answered. She pushed off from the cabin wall. Looked down at Miranwe on her coat sleeve. *Yeah, we can go right now, I guess.*
*Okay - thank you.*
*You're welcome.*
Annabelle focused her mind, and disapparated.
Hogwarts Castle
"So it's possible to do this for her?"
"Very much so," Dumbledore smiled at Annabelle from across the desk - upon which Miranwe stood - his hands folded in his lap. "Forgive me for a momentary lapse in humbleness, will you - but, being much cleverer than most as I am, and significantly more skillful, I do believe myself to be capable of fulfilling her wish where perhaps others may have no hope of doing so."
"Entirely true - and that's why I came to you," Annabelle acknowledged, laughing. "She's...already impatient about trying it, and she wanted me to ask you if we can give it a go right here and now."
"Certainly. My day has been a rather uneventful one, so I welcome any disruptions in the usual routine."
"Right."
Dumbledore stood, drawing his wand in an easy, simple motion. He pointed it at the desk, which transformed into a simple bed. "This seems a much more comfortable place for one to find themselves with an entirely new body configuration, yes?" he spoke, giving her a twinkle-eyed look.
"Yeah," Annabelle agreed, standing. She clasped her hands in front of her, and stared down at Miranwe's glossy little form on the bed. *Alright, uh, we're going to go through with it now, so...just try to stay calm, try to go slow with it, okay? It's going to be confusing, and weird, and...probably take a lot of getting used to.*
*I'll learn how to use the body,* Miranwe assured.
*I know, just...try to keep in mind that humans are delicate. We don't have exoskeletons; we're sacks of water, basically. So don't- don't poke anywhere, don't scratch anything, don't try to pick at or...or bite anything, all right? You'll hurt yourself - a lot. Maybe even fatally, depending on what you do to yourself.*
*I understand. Humans are like webbing; they need to be handled gently, and with precision.*
*Yeah. We can snap and break pretty easy, like strands of webbing.*
Rynegaul Village
Miranwe stood behind the cabin with Annabelle, staring out across the clearing to the forest edge. Her arms were held awkwardly at her sides. She raised a jerky, sloppy hand to pull the scarf up over her mouth and nose again.
Annabelle stood with her, arms crossed, wand idly being rolled in hand.
*This body is so vulnerable.*
*Yeah.*
*I don't like the feel of these...clothes.*
*Me neither,* Annabelle admitted. *Most clothing, I can't stand wearing. It's uncomfortable. The feeling of it against the skin, the tightness of the collars and the arm holes and the chest...I don't like it at all. But over the years I've learned what clothes I can wear and what I can't, to feel the most comfortable. Mainly it's soft stuff - soft, thin shirts, cotton underwears, no bras if I can get away with it, soft shorts or pants, like exercising kinds. Sweatpants. I love dresses and skirts, but I don't really wear them very much; they aren't really, uh, suitable for all the crazy shit I get up to in life. Dueling, hand to hand stuff, even just letting Norberta carry me around would be really difficult and stupid if I were going around in dresses or skirts.*
*So you have experience with discomforting clothing.* Miranwe looked at her. *Can you help me choose more comfortable clothes too? I want to try to wear the things you wear - all the things you just mentioned, just now.*
*Yeah, sure! Sure. We can make it a shopping day, even! You'll get to experience your first supermarket.*
*Okay. Thank you.*
*No problem.*
*I'm so small. What do your people ever want with mine?*
*I- I don't know,* Annabelle stammered. *I mean, I- I know what I wanted with...with you. I just...saw you, talked to you, connected with you. That's what we do, generally. We try to socialize with people around us, and we try to help whoever we can. It's human instinct.*
*My instinct is to avoid everything else around me, and to stay in one place as long as I can. Other living creatures are threats. Motion is threat. Sound is threat. Pain and death are results of threats.*
*Yeah...that's sort of my own personal instinct too. I've never been a very good human, I guess; I've always been fine being on my own, by myself - I prefer it, actually. I can't stand crowds, or lots of noise or sights or smells, and socializing with people just makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes I can even get into a state of total...anxiety, panic, I guess, and I have a huge meltdown over it. Emotional overload from sensation overload.*
*I don't think I'm a very good spider, then, either,* Miranwe responded, sounding thoughtful. *I kept talking to you, I've learned from you, and I've questioned you. I've stuck close to you. You: a huge, moving, loud living creature. I even met many other large creatures, and I helped you to kill other larger creatures. Everything I've done since meeting you has gone against my own kind's instincts. Even if it makes me uncomfortable, I still keep doing it.*
*Yeah. That's just- kind of what we all have to learn, I think. People like us. We have to learn to do things, even if it makes us uncomfortable. Because in the long term, it'll really benefit us.*
*Yes. But there are things I wish I'd never learned from you. Before I met you, I never would have even thought about my death. I never would have thought about...all of this, and how much I want it, and how...how much I don't want it all to go away. I don't want it to go away, Annabelle, I don't want to go away. I don't want to go! And I hate that, and I hate you for making me think about that! It's not fair, that you get to go on for centuries and I have to stop after three more little years! I hate you, I wish you'd never told me anything - about anything! I wish I didn't know all these things, I wish I hadn't felt these things, I wish I hadn't...* Miranwe trembled. Her hands clenched awkwardly. *I hate you so much, Annabelle...you give me all this, you show me all this, and you know I have to lose it all in three years anyway. It's cruel, you're cruel, and I wish I didn't even know what cruel meant again. I wish I'd never met you.*
*I'm sorry. Uh, hey, in the whole world and across all civilizations, there are a lot of different ways to...extend life. And there are some ways to become flat out immortal. Most of them are immoral, or illegal, because they involve hurting others for your own gain, but...but there are a couple ways that...are both not secret and don't involve hurting people. Though, most of those methods still involve hurting yourself. Forever. If you think it's worth it, though...you could...go for it. I wouldn't tell you not to, it'd be your choice. Your life, your body. Your price to pay.*
*What ways?*
*Well, the one that immediately comes to my mind is becoming a vampire. Luckily we're friends with one - Adelyn. I could get in touch with her, ask her to visit. Talk to you about the whole thing. You could ask her questions, discuss it with her before you actually go through with it or not.*
*Thank you.*
*From what all she's told me, it's a horrible way to live.* Annabelle ran a hand over her face. Shifted on her feet. *You literally never sleep, you can't sleep, you can never actually eat anything - never enjoy it, anyway - and human touch...if you're into that sort of thing...you just don't even feel it. You can never feel it. And then there's the whole burning sunlight issue, and the even worse fire that can kill a vampire, and the fact that you can't ever apparate as a vampire. And the worst of it all is...you have to live a life of misfortune. A bad luck curse. Everywhere you go, everything you do, everyone you meet...bad things happen. Pain, and misery, and deaths. All caused by you. Sure, Adelyn is one of the richest people in the world, so she can afford a constant supply of counteractive agents, like the recently developed Felix Felicis potion, probably for the next couple decades in a row...but not everyone is her. And that's why most of her long life, she's kept having these decades long periods of total isolation; she's always filled with this terror, and this remorse at the pain she causes just by being around other people.*
Annabelle looked at the ground. Wiped at her eyes. *That's why you don't see bad guys lining up to become vampires. There are two dozen fistfuls of negatives compared to the few perks of immortality, and enhanced strength and speed, and a set of killer claws. It's crippling, it's limiting, it's horrifying, and nobody would ever choose it unless they didn't fully understand how bad it was from the start. Not even Grindelwald, or Voldemort chose to live that life, so that should tell you a hell of a lot about it Miranwe...*
Miranwe's expression never changed. More a product of the fact that she didn't even know how to change it than anything, but... *I'd still like to meet with Adelyn, and talk to her about it properly before making a decision.*
*Alright,* Annabelle whispered.
Suddenly the ground was shaking, and a great scaly figure was shooting toward them in the dark.
[Sevra's hatching, Sevra's hatching, Sevra's hatching!]
Something large and heavy struck Annabelle in the chest, and she suddenly found herself flat on her butt in the grass, with Norberta's great form towering over her. [What?!] she exclaimed, getting up quickly and brushing herself off. [I thought she wasn't even supposed to do that for another couple days?]
[I know - come on, come on!]
Annabelle apparated across the village; they reappeared out in front of Anju's personal cabin. She felt the biggest smile coming over her face as she watched the great egg begin to crack and wobble inside dancing flames of a bonfire.
December 21, 1998 - Rynegaul Village
Annabelle was standing around in the village square when Norberta came to her in a hurry. Her tail anxiously flicked about behind her, and she shuffled her great wings against her sides.
[A-Annabelle, I think something's wrong with Sevra.]
[What? What- what could be...what do you think is wrong with her?]
[She's one of the first dragon children since ancient times to be born with her full, natural sapience levels...so why isn't she acting like it? She should be talking, like we are now, shouldn't she? She should be repeating at least a word or two of what we say around her! She should be learning, watching, she should be...and she's so violent, all the time - she tried to bite your leg off! How isn't there something wrong with her?!]
[Norberta: calm down, please.] Annabelle started forward and took Norberta's snout in her gloved hands, gave her nose a kiss. [Listen, if you think there's something wrong with her, then what do you want to do about it? Nobody...we're all in uncharted territory here, aren't we? Nobody...really has any knowledge about ancient dragon development milestones. Nobody could tell us about any of that - unless we found an ancient dragon ghost somewhere, but we'd have to really go searching for that, and-]
[I want to see Charlie again. He took care of me in Romania in my earliest years, he's been helping reawakened dragons adjust now too. It's the Christmas holidays, he should be with his family at the Burrow right now. We can go there, you- you need to translate for me, for him, please...show him Sevra, ask him what's wrong! Something is wrong, I know it!]
[Okay. Let's go, then,] said Annabelle. [Let's- let's get Sevra, and let's go.]
Norberta nodded her large dragon head in such a human way. She wandered off through the village with great care and a silent grace, returning some five minutes later with an uppity Sevra out in front of herself. At times, Norberta would bat a wing forward, sling her tail around herself, kick out with a foreclaw, just to keep Sevra moving and focused.
When Sevra noticed Annabelle, she immediately rushed toward her, and started growling at her and tearing into her left boot with small, sharp teeth.
[Hey,] Annabelle said sharply. Sevra startled, whipped her head up to stare at her face; then she started on Annabelle's ankle. Annabelle sighed, looked to Norberta. [She's...cute-?]
[No she's not!] Norberta snapped. [She's screwed up! Don't tell me this is normal! Human babies don't act this way, do they? I've watched you and Anju, and I know that your harpy children don't act this way! Don't tell me mine is behaving in any way that's- that's okay- it's not okay- it's not okay, Annabelle!]
[Okay. I'm sorry. Let's go.] Annabelle first sent Norberta on her way with a portkey, and then she apparated to join her. [All right, just try to wait out here, try to keep Sevra from...behaving badly, and I'll go see if Charlie's around.]
[Hurry,] Norberta said anxiously; her foreclaws scooped up Sevra and pulled her under her belly.
Annabelle strode up to the Burrow's front door and gave a hard knock with cold knuckles. Waited - she didn't have to for long. The door opened up for her.
"A-Annabelle?!" It was Ginny Weasley. Staring, flushing, stammering. Face as red as her hair.
Anyone but her...
"Ginny," Annabelle started, trying to sound casual. "Sorry to come here like this when you're all trying to just- just be a family together, but there is an emergency situation here that I need help with. Well, Norberta needs help with. We- we need Charlie - his expertise. Is he around?"
Ginny's flushed features gave way to a frown. A bit of a pout, actually. "Yes, he's actually just-"
"Annabelle," Charlie spoke, striding up to the front door with a serious look. A concerned look. "You mentioned an emergency with Norberta?"
"Yeah, it's- well, it's actually her kid - Sevra, daughter - she...Norberta's really up in arms about...she thinks something's wrong with her. I told her we don't know anything about ancient, natural dragon development rates, but she seems to think something is, uhm, off about Sevra...so she asked if we could come here, get you, get your help and...yeah..." Annabelle trailed off.
Charlie gave a deep sigh. Ran a hand over his burn-scarred, cut up face. Threaded fingers through his hair. He looked out the window, eyed Norberta and Sevra in silence a moment. His face turned into a troubled frown. "Let's get out there."
"O-okay..." Annabelle stuttered out, a painful feeling squeezing her up inside. For Charlie to be this way about the visit...was something actually wrong with Sevra? Something serious?
She led the way back out the Burrow.
Charlie started right up to Norberta, gave her a smile and a nod. "It's good to see you again. I just wish it wasn't in a situation like this." His gaze lowered to Sevra, who was snarling and squirming at him, and being held back firmly by her mother the whole time. "I'm going to take a look at her and figure out what might be happening, all right? Can you just keep her like this for me?" he went on kindly. Norberta gave a single, simple nod, her eyes narrowed. Charlie squatted down in the snow, took out his wand and started waving it about in Sevra's direction. Muttering some spells Annabelle couldn't even figure out the intent of.
After a minute or two of this act - and some strange blue flashes and yellow pulses around Sevra - Charlie stood up again. He looked tenfold more concerned than he had so far. He heaved a breath, pocketed his wand, and looked up to meet Norberta's eyes. He stepped back.
[What's wrong with her?] Norberta spoke, in a soft, high tremble. Annabelle translated the question.
"Norberta...these past months, we've already had a couple dragon parents journeying back to Romania seeking out help with a problem, and we have done some examinations and a couple of tests on those who have consented to it - the same one I just did on Sevra - and they've showed us something that I'm very sorry to have to tell you: Sevra has your curse."
[How is that even possible? I don't have the curse, or we wouldn't even be having this conversation! You don't make sense! Start making some sense! How does that make sense?! And even if it does, if she somehow has it, is this permanent, or is it something that she's going to...grow out of? Is she going to get better?]
Annabelle translated it all for Charlie.
Charlie shook his head. "I don't know about any of that - I'm sorry. I just couldn't say whether or not she'd keep it, or lose it later. We're only a handful of years past when your generation first had the curse wear off to begin with. There's no way to know what effect it will have on the next generation. Though...as for how it happened? We've speculated that it has to do with the creation of new life itself - new souls. The creation of a soul...it's such an intense and powerfully magical event, forming a soul from nothing, that traces of the curse inside of dragons like yourself were able to...latch onto the new soul and become invigorated and revitalized during the process, and the concentration of all that magical power. And from then on, newly active, the curse stuck with the child as it left the mother. I can promise you that everyone I know is working as hard as they can to find a way to neutralize the curse in your people's children...but I can't promise you that it will ever happen. This curse was so powerful that it took one thousand years to weaken and fade from your kind naturally. I don't think a curse as powerful and enduring as that could be forcibly stripped away by anyone, in any small amount of time."
[I understand...t-thank you.]
"When the world discovers a way to either lessen the effects of the curse, or remove it entirely, I promise you'll be one of the first to know. Sevra could be...a trial run of the thing, let's call it. All right?"
[Yes...anything to...make her not...] Norberta shook her head. She sighed. [Annabelle, I want to go now. Wouldn't want stupid Sevra eating any of the Weasleys, would we?]
[Norberta, how could you-] Annabelle caught herself. She stroked Norberta's foreleg. [Okay, yeah. Yeah, we can go now.] She looked to Charlie, gave him a smile. "Thank you, for helping her and Sevra with this. You didn't have to come out here, on such short notice, just for her. Especially on holiday."
Charlie nodded. Offered a hand. "It was no trouble, trust me." He looked to Norberta. "If you ever need my help again, feel free to ask for me."
"She will - she...she does. It was nice seeing you again. Nice- seeing Ginny again, too."
"I'm sure," Charlie grinned. "See you around, Annabelle."
December 24, 1998 - Rynegaul Village
[I could tell her I love her a thousand times over, and she'll never understand me - not even once. It isn't even a concept in her mind; there's nothing in there! She's nothing, she'll never- she will never even recognize her own name, Annabelle! Or what a "name" even is! What do I- what do I do with her? I can't teach her, I can't talk to her, I can't...nothing I ever do or say is going to matter to her. Just...eating, and sleeping, and...pretty much just those two things! Maybe migrating, maybe having children of her own later in life, but...there's nothing behind it, there's nothing in it. What do I even do with her?!]
[I don't know.] Annabelle sighed. Sat down beside Norberta in the snow, stroked her flank with a gloved hand. [I have no clue, Norberta. But...well...just because she...] She stopped. How could she find the words for this? [Okay, Norberta, listen. There are human kids out there who...you know, they're not as smart, or capable of understanding stuff, or even doing things like walking or seeing or hearing. But...but that doesn't mean they're worthless, or useless, or- I mean, you know me, you know my whole autism thing, right? Can't look people in the eye without feeling pain in my head, can't wear certain clothes without feeling like my arms are bleeding, can't hang around loud noises or crowds without feeling all sick and hot and wanting to scream - I always need to have a focus, something to do and repeat and stick to it to get by. Especially in times of real stress. Like pulling out strands of hair, or tapping, or twisting rubber bands, or putting paperclips between my gums or in my ears - the feeling, the pressure, the grating, the nerve endings, even the pain I don't really feel, it's...calming. It feels good. So that's- that's me, Norberta, and...]
Annabelle patted Norberta's flank. Took a minute to regather her thoughts. [Okay, yeah, so- so that's a thing, right? But...but does that all mean I'm not worth being around? Worth caring about? Worth...loving? Don't think so. So- so you- you, Norberta, you have the same sort of thing here, don't you? Sevra is...she's mentally...uh, handicapped? Maybe she'll never be like the other kids, maybe she'll never learn how to talk, maybe she won't be able to do math, maybe she won't ever understand you when you tell her just how much you love her...but she matters. She's who she is, and she's yours, and she's alive, and she does think and she does feel, even if it's not anywhere...on the same level as you or anybody else in this world. And that matters! You...you keep her, you talk to her, you love her anyway - because she's yours. It'll...probably hurt a lot, it'll be tough, to see her and see every other dragon kid out there not like her...but you have to. Because she's yours.]
[And what if I can't?]
[Then you...you make the choice as the parent to...if you really feel like you have to...you give her to someone else. Let someone adopt her. You took that concept from us, feel free to use it. But that's going to be your choice, yours and Emerich's.] Annabelle patted Norberta's side. Leaned over and gave her scales a kiss. [And if you do make that choice, then it's yours and you made it, and I'm going to support you for it, even if I wouldn't agree with it.]
[Would you agree with it...if I did?] Norberta whispered, voice quivering with fear.
[No,] Annabelle said plainly, shaking her head. [No one ever gave up on me, did they? And I didn't give up on my kids, even when I wanted to, so badly. I wanted to run, I was scared, but I stuck around in the end, and now look where I am. I'm - me and Anju - we're making it work. But you're you, and I'm me, and our situations aren't at all the same. So yeah, you do what you need to, make the decision, and I will support you. I'll never say a bad word about it, or about you - promise. And I won't let anyone else, either.]
[Thank you, mother.]
Annabelle shifted in the snow. [You're welcome, uh...sweetie?]
[Anju's still trying to get you into using those terms? She's really taken a liking to human endearments...]
[Yeah. I'm...I'm trying. Everybody just...just tries.] Annabelle laughed. [We all just- we try and we- we hope it works out. Hope it was right. And if it wasn't...we...we deal with it. Maybe try to fix it, if it needs fixing, but...]
[Yes. I love you, mother. I love you so much, and I don't know where I would be or what I would be doing in this world without you. Probably nothing good. But because of you, I am good. I feel good, most of the time. I'm happy, and I love the life I have. I love our friends, I love our adventures, and I love Emerich. And...and I'll try to love Sevra, too - even with how she is.]
[I love you, too. And...Merry Christmas Eve.]
[Merry Christmas Eve,] Norberta said mournfully. Silence. A long, long moment between them. [I'm going to try, but...but still: If I'd known she was going to be like this beforehand, I would have just smashed her egg the second I popped it out.]
[That's- that's a perfectly...perfectly...valid way to feel about it.]
[Could I have done that?]
[Depending on...dragon soul development rates...there could've been a time where you could have done it, yeah.]
[You don't sound like you approve, either way, mother.]
[You don't need my approval,] Annabelle shrugged. [It doesn't matter.]
[If you were me, and you knew beforehand, you wouldn't have done it. Not even then!] Norberta pressed.
[I'm not you.]
[I...I don't like feeling like you...like you're disappointed with me!]
[I'm sorry.]
Norberta sighed. [Well, she's here, so there's nothing either one of us can even do about it. We just have to deal with it.]
[Yeah.]
[Still...I wish she wasn't here. Not just for me, but for her. She's not- going to have any kind of life. She'll be alive, but she won't be aware. It isn't the same. She's just going to go through the motions, instinct and nothing else. How can I let her do that? For years and years, until she dies, and she won't even be able to understand that she...]
Annabelle closed her eyes. She reached up and tugged a strand of hair. [You can't miss what you've never had. Miranwe was just fine before she ever became...aware of things she wasn't before. She was...happy, wasn't she? That's kind of just...the best you can do. Isn't it? And the best you can do is just going to have to be good enough. For her, and for you.]
[I suppose...]
[Norberta-]
Norberta snapped her head away, stared out across the snowy landscape. [I want to stop talking about it now.]
[Okay.] Annabelle gave Norberta's side another pat. A caress. She leaned over and kissed her scales. [Okay, Norberta, that's fine.]