The Legends Still Live On
Bogen Siebundzwanzig-komma-drei: Extra Elf
Kapitel Ein: Mini-Pekoe
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"Would you mind telling me exactly why the bloody fuck we're just being a bunch of damn stalkers?" Douglas whispered with plenty of annoyance to the foursome of Brits he was stuck with again: Darjeeling, Assam, Arthur, and Dennis. "What in God's name are we even staring at, anyway?"
It was not strictly just another normal day aboard the HMS Ark Royal that housed St Gloriana. As Douglas had mentioned, some of the top members of the Arts of Warfare teams were occupied with staring at something from around a corner. That 'something' was a little girl, looking to be in the very early years of schooling. Notable physical features of her beyond her toddler-like structure included how she wore a miniaturized version of the blue St Gloriana girls' uniform and had ginger-colored hair done into a twin-braid twisted bun. And those wide, bright eyes – blue in color – that took in everything around her with great curiosity.
Said girl was sitting at a table, on a stool much too tall for her to have gotten atop it on her own as her dangling feet indicated. On the equally-high table was a teacup, likely filled with some mild tea.
"I know not why we're just standing here staring at her as if she's a target on a hit list," Dennis mentioned. Darjeeling, Assam, and Arthur were the most engrossed in staring at the miniature ginger in wonder, while Dennis and Douglas were just being dragged along for the ride. They didn't even know why they were there, but they just were. That was a fairly common situation for them.
"Lady Assam…" Arthur began in a low voice. "What is that?"
"What do you even mean 'what is that?'" the blonde English tank gunner responded, just as lost as the English Spitfire pilot was. "If you had to ask me to describe it…" A brief moment of thought passed for her as she figured out how to word herself. "I guess I would say that appears to be a miniature Orange Pekoe."
"Wha-what?" Darjeeling stuttered in disbelief. "She somehow shrunk down to that size?"
Both Dennis and Douglas performed massive eye-rolls at the English tank commander's unrealistic assumption. It wasn't an uncommon thing for Darjeeling to assume the most outlandish reason for why something was the way it was. That was just another part of her ever-mind-boggling personality.
Soon enough, the little girl spotted the five Brits watching from around the corner. She seemed to show surprise at first, but it quickly turned to a sense of delighted urgency as she hopped down from her stool.
"Huh?" Arthur went, raising an eyebrow at the unexpected turn in events.
"She's coming this way!?" Darjeeling quietly exclaimed in a startled whisper as she and the others took note of the miniature ginger trotting over toward them, with Assam, Darjeeling, and Arthur mildly panicking from nervousness.
Upon reaching them, the child stopped and smiled up at all five of them before greeting them all, "Lady Darjeeling, Lady Assam, Lord Arthur, Lord Douglas, Lord Dennis… I hope you have a nice day!" Immediately after, she curtsied, which at that age looked sickeningly sweet and adorable. The way she was deliberately slowing down her pronunciation of each of their names also spoke volumes that she was trying really hard to be presentable, which also sent a wave of cuteness out.
Dennis and Douglas didn't hold much of a reaction to this, simply raising their eyebrows at the little girl's performance. However, the same could not be said of Darjeeling, Assam, and Arthur. All three of them grew stars in their eyes at the child's pure innocence, which made them absolutely enamored with her.
"C… Cu…! C-c…!" all three of them stuttered, rendered unable to talk by the sheer cuteness emanated by the little ginger-haired girl. Said girl looked between the three of them as she started getting a little confused by why they were acting so strange.
"By golly, that's the most delightful feeling I've ever felt!" Arthur exclaimed with an idiotic grin as the three of them turned to each other, finally having regained their ability to speak.
"Oh, now I understand how Nonna feels!" Darjeeling gushed over that sweet feeling of dealing with a child. Or, at least, a child-like person.
"Same here, Lady Darjeeling, Lord Arthur!" Assam similarly freaked out, all giddy-like.
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Elsewhere aboard the typically chaotic Kiev, Nonna's head shot up. The Russian sharpshooter ran her gaze around the area, swearing she heard someone talking about her.
She furrowed her eyebrows upon seeing nothing to validate her suspicions. All that she could see in the airstrip area were Nudelmann having a brawl with a bear, Katyusha riding said bear like it was a stallion, and Sasha constructing another pet project of his, this time being a human cannon with the firing range of a long-range artillery gun.
"Oy, Nonna!" the blonde Russian ace called out to Nonna, having caught her gazing around. "You looking for something!?"
She binked a few times to try and rid her mind of the temporary bout of what she assumed was insanity. Nonna then responded, "Nyet. It's nothing."
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Back with the folks of St Gloriana, Darjeeling, Assam, and Arthur were all fawning all over the little ginger bundle of cuteness. They were surrounding her practically as they brought themselves down to the girl's short height.
"Oh, I had some of your tea earlier," the girl tentatively revealed, looking like she was anticipating a harsh punishment for doing so. "I'm sorry, please forgive me."
"Aw, don't worry about it, lass!" Arthur waved off the apology. "It's fine!"
"That's fine, feel free to drink as much as you like!" Darjeeling insisted simultaneously with a look in her eyes that revealed how pliant she was to this small child's hands.
"We have plenty of sweets, too, if you want to give them a try!" Assam further revealed. She had a similar look saying she was under the spell of the little girl's cuteness.
As the three of them fawned over the little ginger, Douglas and Dennis stood off to the side. The entire situation was ridiculous in both of their eyes, as evidenced by how they just simply stared at Darjeeling, Assam, and Arthur without any sort of comprehension. Douglas was just plain creeped out by the three of them, but Dennis was oddly reminded of grandparents that just had grandbabies when he saw the three of them as they were now.
They remained that way for the duration of the three spell-bound folks wrapped around the little girl's finger until the two bystanders heard another set of footsteps coming up behind them. Turning, they saw the other ginger that they knew, and their brains made an idle connection between her and the little girl, as if by instinct.
Orange Pekoe had her own raised eyebrow at all the commotion in the area. "What's going on, mates?" she asked Dennis and Douglas, noticing them not taking part in said commotion.
"See for yourself," the Scotsman gestured with a hand.
The ginger Englishwoman decided to do just that as she approached the three others of their little group that were fawning all over something. What it was, Orange Pekoe had no idea.
That is, she had no idea, until she saw another ginger-colored head of hair in that small group, belonging to someone much shorter than those surrounding it. A brief peek of their face, and Orange Pekoe knew exactly who this little ginger was. "Ah!" she gasped. "You're…!"
The little ginger girl's eyes fell upon the larger ginger adolescent's own similarly colored eyes. Recognition dawned in the younger's eyes as a bright smile lit up her little face. "Cousin Pekoe!" she shrieked in joy, sprinting as quick as her little body could allow towards the elder ginger.
That sent a wave of reactions around the trio previously fawning over the small girl as said little girl embraced the larger ginger. Orange Pekoe bent down to return it while also keeping an eye on the others.
"What!?" Assam exclaimed in disbelief.
"Huh!?" Darjeeling also reacted in similar disbelief.
"Cousin!?" Arthur questioned loudly, also not believing the scene before him.
"There's two Pekoes!?" all three of them finally settled on asking together in a lack of comprehension.
The little girl looked up at Orange Pekoe at that, not fully comprehending what the others were saying.
Having finally understood somewhat what was going on, Orange Pekoe chuckled a little bit. "No, no, you're mistaken," she answered them, waving a hand in dismissal. Bringing her other hand to the little girl's hair, she idly played with the hairstyle that was identical to her own as she explained. "This is my little cousin. She lives with my aunt and uncle over in the countryside." By 'countryside,' she referred to the sections aboard the HMS Ark Royal that were much like a countryside, hence the name. These were often home to people that weren't students, usually being other ship inhabitants like those that ran businesses aboard the ship.
Orange Pekoe continued her explanation as she idly played with her little cousin's hair, "She really likes me and our school, even going so far as to get a St Gloriana uniform and to mimic my hairstyle."
"I came over to bring cousin Pekoe's tuna salad!" the little ginger piped up cheerfully, again drawing the awe of Darjeeling, Assam, and Arthur.
"And you never thought to tell us this why?" Douglas questioned, fixing Orange Pekoe with a mildly accusing glare for not revealing this fact.
The elder ginger shrugged awkwardly. "It never came up before today," she used as an explanation. The Scotsman shot a look that still accused her of withholding such, not believing her words for a second.
"Well, I like her," Dennis said. It was about the only thing he could say, having no comment on anything else there, so he merely settled with an idle compliment.
That was enough to get Orange Pekoe to smile at him, though. "You are too kind," she humbly responded with a slightly bowed head.
"By Jove, I'm going to have so much fun from now on!" Arthur exclaimed with an idiotic grin on his face. Overall, he resembled an overly giddy child with his behavior now. "I can't resist that pure, unadulterated ball of sweetness."
The elder ginger raised an eyebrow at the blonde Englishman. "For some reason, I fear for what kind of antics you have planned," she said. The current behavior of the Spitfire pilot was very uncommon, but if something got him this worked up, then chances were that things would end in such a way that it humiliated everyone else in the area.
"Oh, my, my…" Darjeeling started to gush again, her face flushing in kind. "And here I thought that our Lady Orange Pekoe had shrunk after drinking too much tea!"
The elder ginger grew a bewildered look at her superior's words. It wasn't the craziest thing the English tank commander had ever said, but it certainly ranked up there in the top ten, at least. "What kind of crazy blend of tea would result in that?" she asked rhetorically.
That was when Douglas chose to 'helpfully' speak up again, "Actually, I think those Jerrys at Black Forest Peak managed to-"
"Ugh, no, don't tell me any more, you'll spoil my taste buds!" Orange Pekoe cut off the Scotsman, shaking her head with a disgusted look on her face.
Douglas merely shrugged nonchalantly. "Hey, you asked," he pointed out.
"Well, anyways," Assam brought everything back on track as she kneeled down to the little girl's eye level. She was also flushed thanks to her gushing over the little ginger. "I'd like to extend a welcome to you into the one and only St Gloriana High School, Mini Pekoe!"
Orange Pekoe started spluttering at that nickname for her little cousin. "Wha-what are you talking about!? Mini Pekoe!?" she questioned, bewildered even beyond the levels she was after Darjeeling's ace one-liner.
"Mini Pekoe…" the little girl tested out on her tongue. Soon, she grew a blindingly bright smile, illustrating how much she liked the nickname. "Hahahahahaha!" she giggled with joy like the child she was.
That was not to say her cousin necessarily liked the name. "Oh, please don't let it catch on…" she lamentedly muttered.
"Oi, Mini Pekoe!" Arthur spoke up, getting the little girl's attention. "There's something I'd like to try out with you, if you don't mind."
'Mini Pekoe,' as she was so called now, looked up quizzically at Arthur. "…Oooookaaaaay…" she granted, clearly hesitating with wariness.
The English Spitfire pilot clapped his hands once. "Awesome!" he said immediately after, before approaching Mini Pekoe and crouching before her. "I suggest you stay calm for this part," he said in a more serious tone.
The younger ginger had no time to react before she suddenly found herself really high off the ground as Arthur heaved her up onto his shoulders, ergo giving her a piggyback ride.
"Oh, I've been waiting to do this since forever!" he expressed his delight, again smiling that stupid grin as he felt little arms enclose around the top of his head. "By God, I could never do this with our Lady Orange Pekoe with how grown-up she is. But now, with Mini Pekoe, I can!"
Orange Pekoe, Douglas, and Dennis all had blank looks at the Spitfire pilot's actions, wondering what kind of crazy world they just stepped into. "Is that so…" was all the elder ginger said as she crossed her arms.
Assam and Darjeeling were both very giddy at the sight, having also been a part of the attempts to piggyback with Orange Pekoe on their shoulders. "Let me try too, Lord Arthur!" Assam nearly begged with a huge and hyperactive grin on her face. She was so full of energy that she was jumping up and down lightly and without being aware of it.
"I want to give her one, too!" Darjeeling simultaneously said with Assam's request, looking nearly identical to the other blonde in her own behavior.
Meanwhile, Arthur was living in bliss, as his facial expression suggested. 'Wow, just… wow,' he thought to himself as Mini Pekoe remained on his shoulders. 'So this is what those Russians feel every time they cart around their leader.'
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Back aboard the Kiev, Nudelmann, Sasha, and Nonna all felt a weird chill in the air. It was not just a mere chill, as they would've never felt something like that. They were Russians: as such, they were plenty used to extremely cold temperatures whenever the annual Russian Winter hit.
But this chill was one they couldn't explain, and it stumped them for a bit. Nonna stopped watching Katyusha riding the bear wrestling Nudelmann and furrowed her eyebrow. She glanced around her and saw nothing out of place, so she continued observing her leader, but now she was more wary of her surroundings.
Sasha looked up from his point upon feeling the chill, which took his focus away from his work on his human-launching artillery cannon's breech. Unfortunately, since he had loaded the cannon with a charge of gunpowder beforehand, that little time of lost focus meant the cannon had the opportunity to set itself off, which it did with a massive and deep boom. The Russian engineer's hands immediately went up to cover his ears, but it was in vain. He would likely not be hearing anything besides constant ringing out of either ear for the next several days.
Nudelmann felt the chill, also. He was still fighting the bear – the very same one that Katyusha was also presently riding like it was a horse – when he instinctively stopped, looking around for the source of the chill. Unfortunately for him, that left him open to a massive backhand from the bear, which lifted him off the ground and threw him back several meters. After landing on his back, the Russian crack pilot remained there as he tried to recover from the unexpected hit. "Uuuuukh…" he groaned as he rolled most of his joints around, checking for basic functionality. "Whoever was talking about me is going to get it next time I see them…" he then muttered.
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A couple of strange feelings were just experienced by Arthur. The first of those was a nontangible feeling, one that he just felt, with no explanation as to why. Said feeling was the feeling that he had just caused a whole lot of chaos somewhere.
The second feeling actually was a tangible feeling. He could feel the little arms of Mini Pekoe clenching tightly to his head, which made him pause for a second. "Oh?" he went, glancing at the smaller ginger out of the corner of his eye. He noticed her eyes were screwed shut. "Are you alright? Is something wrong?"
Atop his shoulders, Mini Pekoe finally opened her eyes, but she definitely still looked scared. "My apologies, Lord Arthur, but… I'm a bit afraid of heights…" she hesitantly revealed.
Immediately upon her words being uttered, Arthur dropped to a prone position onto his stomach, with Mini Pekoe still on his shoulders. "How about this!?" he asked, eager to please her. "Is this better suited to you!?"
"Aw, no fair Lord Arthur!" both Darjeeling and Assam cried foul as they dropped to their knees, with Assam reaching out for Mini Pekoe.
"Come on, let me too!" Assam further tried to convince the Spitfire pilot to give her a turn, to no avail.
'Well…' Orange Pekoe thought to herself as she, Dennis, and Douglas observed Darjeeling, Assam, and Arthur playing around with her little cousin as if they were children themselves. 'This is something I really didn't want to see…'
But that face of pure enjoyment on Mini Pekoe's face was absolutely a face she would always remember, if nothing else.
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Back in the real world, Orange Pekoe was just finally regaining her bearings after suffering a heavy hit to her head when she hit the wall. Why she hit the wall with her head was because she was being carted around on top of Arthur's shoulders.
"Dammit, I told you this was a dumb idea!" Douglas berated the stumbling Spitfire pilot. "Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop trying to give piggyback rides!"
"No!" Arthur retorted as he tried balancing himself with the extra weight of Orange Pekoe on his shoulders. He was succeeding, though only just, and after a long string of failures if the massive headache the ginger was experiencing was any indication. "I promise you, I can do this!"
"You said that five times already!" Dennis countered as he and Douglas hovered around the Spitfire pilot, ready to step in again should Orange Pekoe fall.
"It'll work out somehow!" Arthur insisted as he continued trying to get his balance correct. "If I just get the posture right…"
'It was only a hallucination…' Orange Pekoe thought as the world continued to spin through her eyes. Finally, she got the energy to do something after several seconds, and with that, promptly slammed both her hands into Arthur's eyes, hard.
"OW, FUCK!" the Spitfire pilot loudly cursed, beginning to stumble back from the pain and losing his balance. Orange Pekoe was deceptively strong, being a tank loader, so it stood to reason Arthur would feel a massive amount of pain from any hit of hers.
With Arthur's loss of balance, Dennis and Douglas both rushed in to try and stabilize him to prevent further injury to both parties. Darjeeling and Assam were the second line of defense, meant to come in if the two boys couldn't handle it on their own, which was looking to be the case for this situation. Hence, they also rushed to Arthur and the feral Orange Pekoe who was not at all happy with what she was thrown into.
Watching from a distance, and having quite a laugh at Orange Pekoe's predicament, was her younger cousin, the so-called Mini Pekoe. "Cousin Pekoe looks so funny like that," she noted to herself with a big smile on her face.
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Part of Projekt Jägermeistern.
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The author doesn't claim to own "Girls und Panzer" or any other references made. "Girls und Panzer" belongs to Actas. Any references made belong to their respective owners.
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