Neither English nor French left Lancer's mouth as he ran, ran faster than his aching legs or his round body could decipher. Ralsei had to shake Kris to the full realm of alertness before the both of them ran, ran even faster…
"S-"
No. He couldn't shout out her name now. He couldn't. Not with the rest of the castle ravaging around him, not with the vines encircling them all and enwrapping their dreams. It was noon, but it was as if Christmas had all but ended. There was no gaiety in the streets now. There were no children skipping though, none of their parading parents. It was as if it had gone to the next day, saint Stephen's day, The first martyr. There was a statue in front of the castle of him, his vulture-like form over hanging over them all like the stars. His eyes seemed to watch Lancer even more earnestly now as he sprinted into the castle.
The light in the throne room dimmed, and then extinguished. What happened? What happened? Susie was strong, stronger even then she dared to tell, but she couldn't face the wrath of the monarchy, the wrath of a mace. Where was Susie? Susie? Oh, Susie, where are you...où es-tu?...
"Lance! The hell are you doing here, bud?"
Susie was standing just outside of the plaza. She had left a half an hour ago, silently stealing away, her punches and the little money cuz she had no pocket affording her a chance out of the jail. Lancer couldn't quite see how she failed to reach the castle yet. She was endurant. That lends who knew all too well from her beating him almost hourly in the path here. So what was she doing? Was she just staring off into the distance? Thinking of her family?
Or was she waiting for them? Or at least waiting for something. From the castle moat roaring underneath her, Lancer hoped it wasn't what he thought it was.
Lancer knew better than to do anything but shift his thoughts around, shift his thoughts like the rocks were shifting underneath the moat. Shifting...shifting…
Lancer huffed. There was no beating around the bush now. He was a slave of the law, as everyone else was, as everyone else didn't know of him, didn't think of him. He looked around him, looked at Ralsei. He glanced back at the throne room, the light sucked out from a dead Darkner's eye, the Lighteners surrounding Lancer, a dead Darkner's mind. He shook his head at Ralsei.
"Look," sighed Lancer. He could feel his confidence dying, an atom exploding in slow motion. "I can't do this, Suze. It's too big of a job for me. I mean, I-I freed Ralsei and I freed Kris and I'm and I'm so sorry for what I did and I-"
"Lancer... you wanted to get rid of us?"
She twirled her axe, whether or not she was aware of it.
"Buddy, I... I thought we were a team, man... where'd that all go?"
Why was she doing this? Why was she talking to Lancer as if she were his mother, and-
She walked away in a slow march, stopping after a few steps. There were countless mothers in the plaza that had done the same.
"Nah. It's fine."
The winds blew, and Lancer's royal robes became pieces of paper.
"It's fine, actually. You don't have to explain anything. I get it. I get it, y'know?"
Lancer stared at the floor, what he had done weighing on him, paralyzing him, pounding him, berating him with an urge to run to Confession, to run back as soon as he could and scream that he was sorry. A frown formed on his face, heavier than he wanted it to. It quivered. Of course it would quiver. He didn't care how childlike he was. He didn't care how childish he was.
"Sometimes, I'm just in the way, and sometimes, ya just have to push me out. Nothin' complicated."
It was time for Lancer's entire body to quiver as he stood up, his mind exploding, tired synapses rushing to say anything, anything.
"No, that's not what I-"
"Shut up."
"Suze-"
"Shut the HELL up, Lance!"
Shut the hell up. Shut the hell up. He was back in the throne room again. Back with the belt off of his father's waist again. Back staring at himself in the doorknob, waiting for it all to be over again. He didn't want to be back here. But he was. He knew Ralsei was around him, who was really saying it, but Susie had developed another edge, enveloping Lancer.
Lancer bowed his little head and knelt down as if to die a martyr. As if he was Saint Stephen. He knew what to do. No more apologies. He was a slave under the law. He was a slave under his pall.
Ralsei sprinted towards a nearby tree even
before Susie
grabbed
her
axe.
"Get... out... of... my... way."
Lancer didn't even have to look up at her to know that her teeth were clenched so tightly together that they would squeak. That they were bared more than the crocodiles roaring in the castle moat did. That if he didn't- if he didn't- the cuts on his arms cried out- if he didn't-
But he couldn't- he was back in the throne room- he couldn't- he couldn't-
"Did you hear me? I said get OUT OF MY WAY!"
He tried to say something, but it was choked, strangled in his throat, his father's hand seeming to tighten, tighten- oh, God, he couldn't-
"Didn't you hear-"
She stepped back. Lancer's body was still afire.
"Well, I tried to warn ya. So don't expect me to feel guilty."
He knew. He knew, and there was nothing he could do except to whimper a little, to fly off to a land faraway, a land he could call his very own. It was a land shapeless, voidless, lightless, darkless, a veil and nothing else. But in that world, the blows would be only pressure. No pain.
Ralsei looked on with horror, his mouth in a silent scream, his fists curled up in sightless punches, and Kris tilted his head towards the three.
The first came. Something warm poured down his arm.
Second. Now he couldn't breathe out of his nose, so he was left panting. A dog. Just as Susie wanted.
Third. "I'll kill you." Nothing physical. Nothing he hadn't heard before.
Fourth. The left side of his head lit on fire, but at least in his world, he couldn't feel the edges. At least in his world, there was a little light. Ralsei was screaming, screaming "STOPSTOPSTOP…." but no words could filter into Suzie's ears now.
Fifth. His right pointer finger swelled into a beet.
"Get it? I'll kill ya!"
Sixth. More red trickled down his cheek, onto his chin. "STOPSTOPSTOPstopstopSTOP, PLEASE…"
Lancer couldn't find the difference between Susie's voice and his father's.
Seven. A whip spread across the top of his back, and red made its way down to where Lancer's own belt would have been. Eight. His nose started to squeeze against him. "You think I care?" Suzie roared. "You think I care if you just wanna lay down and DIE?" The word "die" forced her voice to tremble a little, but Lancer was still in his own world, Suzie in hers. In that moment, all Lancer wanted to do was to lay down and die. In fact, he'd been wanting to do it longer, oh, God, longer than what Susie could ever think... Nine. He found it better if he didn't count the damage, although he felt the red pouring down on him, forming, slow as a turtle, into an umbrella. He knew his world was safe. He knew his world was the only thing that was safe now. Susie was a fire of her own. Everything inside Lancer screamed, clawed back to try and find his own way back to his world, to move, to do something, before Susie could- "If you want to die so much, then why don't you just DO IT?" He wasn't talking to him in just the now, but in the past, in the things that had already passed, in the things that would pass. Her axe swung again. Ten. His chest was now on fire. Nothing deep, nothing dark, nothing dangerous. But there was still red trickling to the ground to reach Susie's boots. She paused, held her axe, stared down. For a few minutes, that was all she did. All that Lancer could do was say, "Suze…" before Ralsei's healing magic tightened his chest, tightened all the newfound wounds. But there were still a few that couldn't be healed. It was like a cavern, and there was only so far Ralsei could jump inside it.
For a few minutes, that was all that happened.
The dungeon took a breath, Susie following suit.
"Man, I don't… I don't want to kill ya. Just...please move, alright?"
A few more moments of silence. There was a dripping sound from Lancer's chin on the floor.
Noise, full and rambunctious, came back to Lancer's throat. It was a car crash. It was a train wreck. It was beautiful.
"But if you do then, my dad will- and- and- the both of you will kill each other…"
Nobody dared to move. Nobody dared to speak. Nobody dared to breathe.
Except Susie, who stared into a lone crack in a castle wall. She was strong, army-strong, Susie-strong, but she couldn't help but notice the centipede in the wall rolling back and forth in a lazy fit.
'Then I won't hurt him."
"Promise?" He said it too quickly, says the word echoing around the castle, bouncing back and forth. Promise promise promise promise, promise, promise…
Susie nodded. The promise carried forward its weight. Without any further preamble, Lancer followed the echo out of the courtyard towards the castle, ran, ran, sprinted. He was a bird. He was free. He was going to talk to his father, no weapons, no terror, to carry forth the promise, that sweet promise, sweeter than buttered, bubbling molasses or a genuine hug from his father. It was too sweet. It was reckless.
The roof was waiting for him.