- Chapter Five –

From that point on, something within Bryon changed. The darkness that seemed to plague him, lifted. Not completely, but just enough for him to feel some sense of content within his life. Three days after dinner at the Hamiltons, and Bryon was actually smiling as he drove along the cove. The windows were all the way down in his truck, letting the breeze directly from the sea pull straight through his open car. It played with his jacket as it passed him by. The sounds of the crashing waves, caught in the wind and doubling in size, were so loud they completely drowned out his car radio, but Byron care.

His mind felt... at ease. He almost didn't recognised the feeling, and assumed it to be just a passing phase. But at each day that he reached, he left a little less worried about the past. Tiny thoughts, that use to sink him directly into darkness, now were drifting past without him noticing. And although he was still unable to force himself to use his bed, he was managing to get close to 5 hours a sleep each night. His nights were nonlonger designated time of isolation. If he was honest within himself, the last few nights had been the most peaceful he'd had since Bethany's attack. And Bryon knew it was all because of her.

But regardless of his uplifted views on the world, he has no pretense that he was suddenly all better. In his view, that damage that had occurred to his mind, was incurable. For the first time since the attack, such thoughts, if he tried really hard, could be blocked out.

Unfortunately, despite all that, Bethany herself was still impossible to stop thinking about. That morning, his parents had talked about how well she was surfing when they last saw her on the waves, and his hands started shaking so much, he had to put down his mug. At the mare mention of her name, he was lost. And now, as he drove along, he could see a girl, carrying a surfboard as she wobbled along the edge of the road. Her hair was the same dusty blonde as Bethany, and Byron actually felt his breathe catch a little at the thought of seeing her again.

He took a quick moment to tell himself to get a grip, and stop freaking out about her so badly. It's sad that he gets so worked up, at a lookalike, somewhere in the distance. What is he meant to expect will happen to him when he actually sees her? He needs to get some perspective: afterall, Bethany had never been his to worry about.

As he continued to make his way closer, he slowed down a little, trying to tell if it was actually Beth. The surfer turned her head at the sound of his rather old truck approaching, and waved at him. That smile, even at a distance, was unmissable. This look-alike was actually Bethany. A fact that did not help with the heart poundingness.

His miner freakout when he thought it was her, was nothing to him now, actually knowing it was her. His hand was shaking as he cranked it into first, and eventually pulled up right next to her. Through his open window, she was smiling at him, her wet hair whipping into her face with the sea breeze, but she appeared to not notice at all. Her smile made him calm down a little, and he tried to remember how to articulate words again.

"Um, Hey." Okay, Seriously Bryon! He snapped at himself. Can't you be atleast semi cool, for one second?!

"Hey Bryon! How are you?" She simply beamed back at him. He knew he should be annoyed, she always sounds so cheerful and carefree, when he self analyzes every single thing he says. But he really couldn't bring himself to be annoyed at her. He was far to busy trying not to show the heart attack he was apparently mid way through, He tried to focus his complete attention on answering her questions honestly, and not smiling just because she was.

"I am pretty good actually. Just heading off to a friends place." He looked pointingly at her board "Why are you walking? Don't you have a lift?"

"Nah. Folks are all at work, and my brothers are out for the day."

"So, wait, you are walking home? All the way?"

"Well... Yeah? I have been practicing flying recently, which I am pretty excited about. Unfortunately, I still have a few of the quirks to iron out, so today I am just going to walk it."

Bethany tucked her board back closer to her body with her hand, and made to look like she was going to start walking again.

"Why don't I give you a lift?" He yelled out to her.

"Oh no! I don't want to make you go out of your way."

"Beth, it is not a problem. I'd be happy to."

"No, No! But where are you heading? Maybe I walk from where you stop. Is it closer?"

"Unfortunatly, it is not. I'm actually off to Peter Eve's place, not even in the right direction. But he's totally chilled, so I will just drop you off first."

"NO! I will not be an inconvenience Bryon! But, hey, you go surfing with Peter right? I've obviously already got my board. I can just hang with you guys. Maybe you might find some better waves than I have today?"

"Um, well we were..." But she had already turned away and walked out of his sight. He could hear slight scraping as she pushed her board into the back of his truck. If it was anyone else, they would have sounded slightly pushy and demanding. But with Beth, it sounded completely innocent. Surfing was ingrained into every cell, every fiber that makes her who she was. If she could discover a way to be in the water for every second of a day, she would take it without a thought.

Unfortunately, Bryon Blanchard wasn't going to be going surfing. He was just pretending like he was, and has been doing exactly that for months. In fact, Bryon was more than a little proud of creating such a successful scenario that hid the fact that he was no longer surfing, from absolutely everybody in his life. As Beth climbed up onto his passenger seat, Bryon knew that there was no way he would be able to hide the truth from her today.

He thought about pushing her out of his car, and speeding away. And although it was undoubtably the best solution to keep his secret, he just couldn't quite work out how to force himself to do that to her. So he had little choice but to accept her company. Bryon shakily smiled at her, indicated (a pointless act as their were no cars in sight, but he was on his best behavior for Beth), and pull his car back onto the road once more.

In the silence, which it would have been if you ignored the sounds of his old tuck, his mind exploded. He realised that, in all possible scenarios, there is limited chance of Beth not working out his secret. And when she does, it won't end up well. Even if it doesn't fix everything, if he could somehow lessen the intensity of the blow before she works it out for herself, that would probably be a good thing.

"Don't get your hopes up at going for a surf, Beth." He mutter to her, "I am not even sure if we are going today. Figured I would drive over and find out."

"Wouldn't you just call him?"

"Um, well yeah, I could have. But I... felt like going for the drive." With his response as smooth as that, Bryon literally had to restrain from rolling his eyes, at himself. "Hang on, Beth. Don't you go judging me. I'm driving you around!"

"No judgment from this side of the car!" she declared with a smile that reached all the way into her eyes. Now that Bryon was with her, he tried to be as completely focused on the winding road, as they sped along the edge of the sea in his rattling truck. However she kept making him smile, and it was becoming increasingly difficult.

"Anyways, I already know you are crazy," she said with a laugh. Her final word rattled around in his brain. Crazy. Maybe she knew how damaged, how messed up he was? With everything that he had be trying to sort through (and failing quiet spectacularly), crazy had just not appeared in his mind as a diagnosis. Pathetic: without a doubt. Stupid: everyday. Crazy? Would explain quite a lot of his problems, maybe even why he can't seem to recover from an event that didn't actually have anything to do with him. She must have seen the look of seriousness dribble onto his face, because she reached over and punched him in his arm.

"It's okay Bryon. I'm even crazier than you!" He appreciated her efforts, and smiled back.

"How come you say that?"

"Well, I was trying to walk all the way home. Would have taken me hours."

"Have you walked that after before?" He caught a glimpse of a smile, before she turned her head away from him.

"Sometimes." He decoded that as "Often" but thought it wise not to voice that aloud.

He glanced back over at her, as she watched the waves crash beside them. Then again, maybe she had no idea how crazy he really was. And as much as he wished he could tell her, how could he find the words? But if he could, by some miracle, tell her everything, could that help him not feel so isolated all the time? He had his doubts. More than likely he was already far too gone for that to ever be fixed.

Peter Eve was a bit of a drive from either of their places, so despite living on a smallish island, it still took them a good half an hour before they reached his place. The rest of the drive was spent swapping channels on the radio until they could agree on something to listen to. As they pulled up the Eve's drive, Bethany finally worked out why it had been so difficult to agree on some music.

"Bryon, thats not true! I know you love this song! You were listening to it on repeat one night I was chilling with your sister! Have you... Have you been arguing with me this whole trip, just to be difficult?"

"Maybe?"

She went to hit him, but he had already cranked his truck into park, and scrambled out the door, away from danger. He laughed at her as she cursed from inside his truck, before pulling herself out too. His heart felt so light, and he was so grateful to be able to stay sane enough to joke around with her, to be able to leave everything behind occasionally, and just have fun.

"Why am I even friends with you, Byron Blanchard." Her tone wasn't serious, so he tried to keep the playful tone in his voice as he replied.

"I have no idea!" and honestly, he didn't.

She looked back at him, and he could see that she saw the seriousness behind his words. And for a second, he thought she might even comment on it. But then the moment passed.

"So... Where is Peter? Should I grab my board?"

"I wouldn't bother quite yet, Beth. We'll come back for it." He started to wander down the path around the edge of the Eve's home. "Follow me. Peter is normally set up down the back."

"Sound kinda scary. Should I be worried Bryon? Are you... are you going to kill me?"

"If you keep abusing your driver, your odds do increase dramatically!"

"It's called defending myself! He was abusing me!" She was laughing at him as she followed him down the pathway. "Okay, seriously, where are you taking me?

"He took over his parents shed, last summer. Has decked it all out, so it is pretty sweet. You'll love it!"

The pathway lead through some bushes, all the way to the shed thats set up under the house. The roller door had already been pulled right up, allowing the sea breeze to roll straight inside. Peter was set up in the corner, dark hair shaken all over his face, his head deep into a book.

"Yo, Peter. How's it going?" Peter attempted to wave a greeting, without lifting his eyes from his book. "Um... I brought Bethany along?" That caught his friend's attention. Peter looked up instantly, to see her standing next to Bryon.

"Hey Bethany. Come on in, make yourself comfortable."

"Thanks! Nice place you've got down here!" she wandered into the space a bit, looking around. Bryon watched her quietly from his position still at the door. "You've got everything, a couch, tv, is that... a fridge?"

"Yeah. I'm slowly stealing my parents stuff from upstairs."

Despite obviously confused as to why he had brought someone with him, Peter fortunately didn't say anything. In a few moments, Peter had already turned his attention straight back to his books, ignoring his new guests. Beth looked a little confused, but being the easy going natured lady that she was, had no problem throwing herself into the couch and making herself comfortable as he had invited her to do.

Bryon, despite this shed being his second home, his own private retreat, stood awkwardly at the entrance. It wasn't until Beth patted the seat next to her, did he finally step into the shed, and took his place beside her. Peter's parents had only let them take the couch, because it was so old. Unfortunately, that meant the cushions had all died many years ago, and was sunk into the middle. The two of them kept bumping shoulders, forced together by the sunken couch. Bryon, who was acutely aware of everything he did within the presence of Beth, struggled with the entire situation. Bethany, however, thought it was quite funny.

"So, what are you working on Peter?" His friend didn't take any notice of Bethany, or her question, still reading away in his corner.

"He not trying to be rude. He just can't hear you. Actually, he can't hear anything when he's studying."

"Studying? I had no idea he was taking a course."

"Yeah, he is hoping to become physio. Been studying for a while now."

"I hadn't even heard. Is he taking a course online or something?"

"Sure is. Its a pretty intensive one too. I am not jealous of the hours he dedicates to it."

She watched him work away, occasionally stopping his reading to frantically write down some notes before he forgets them, or looses his place. Bryon pretend to watch the waves crashing, but really he was just absorbed by the way Bethany focused all her attention on Peter, watching him as he worked. Her focus, her curiosity to understand others and why they do what they do, pulled at Bryon, for he often looks at her with the same eyes. Despite watching her out of the corner of his eye, he was unable to stop looking, and doubted his subtlety.

"Bryon,"

Her voice, was removed of its usual lightheartedness. And his gut sunk through the chair the two of them were sharing. He knew what this was about. For a moment, he almost jumped out of his seat to declare that they needed to surf, to save the shame of telling her the truth. For shame is the only way to describe how he feels, when abandoning the surf due to fears of the past. But the moment, and his need for rash action, passed.

"Yeah?" Bryon's reply was even quieter than her question.

"You and Peter... You don't go surfing together, do you?"

He turned his face to her. One of the rare occasions that Byon actually was able to look her in Bethany's eyes. He was so sure he would see sadness engulfing them. But what looked back was pure confusion. Bethany flickered her attention towards some surf boards hidden away in the very back. When she saw him looking at them, she spoke again.

"They don't even looked waxed, Bryon."

"Oh those?" Both Bryon and Bethany looked up at Peter, who had, rather unfortunately, decided that now was a really good time to pop back into reality. Bryon quickly glared at Peter, warning him with his eyes to be careful of what he said. "Yeah, we never really surf any more!"

Apparently, Peter did not hear Bryon's frantic telepathic messages. Instead, his studious friend spun a few times around on his chair, arched his back, and then sunk his head back into his book.

"What are you talking about Peter?!" But he had already disappeared. When Peter didn't reply, Bethany turned back to Bryon.

He felt nauseous, as she stared intensely at him, demanding through her eyes, and not her words, to know what was going on. He attempted to shrug it off, as though it really wasn't a big deal. But to Bethany Hamilton, whose life was in the ocean waves, pretending as though it did not matter was never going to work.

"You told me that you go surfing all the time with Peter! What does he mean, you don't any more."

Bryon didn't know what to say to her; to Bethany! She was looking back at him, pleading to understand. And he had nothing to say. So he did the most logical thing he could do... He pulled himself out the the old couch, and scrambled out of the shed.