Why did he do this? What tapes? After his suicide attempt, Alex is left with a fragmented memory, and a ton of unanswered questions. Nobody wants to tell him much, afraid that he's too fragile to hear the truth. Alex can barely walk. He stuttered so badly at first, that he flat out refused to speak. Paralyzed on the left side of his body. Thick, stark, raised scars hide under floppy brown hair. No more blonde, no septum piercing. He looked less intimidating. He became even skinnier than he already was. He is innocent once more. Almost… childlike.
The target upsets him much more than he let on. Better luck next time. With bullet holes through the figure's head. That was the first time he cut. Nowhere obvious, as Zach would see when they did physical therapy. Small, thin, cuts littered his hips. It tore his heart open to find a single, shiny bullet in his locker one day. It shattered him when he received a gun in the mail. The thought of using it ran across Alex's mind more than once. He was ashamed, because it was a miracle that he had survived and was lucky enough to have a second chance at life. Even though he didn't deserve it. At least, as far as Alex was concerned.
He felt like complete and utter shit every single day. He had no one to blame but himself. He wished what he had done wasn't an attempt. He wholeheartedly wished that it was a suicide.