Title: Overreaction II
Description: "Kael'thas isn't the only one who's overreacting."
Notes: Inspired by Mark Rober's skinned watermelon video on YouTube. I thought the idea would be a fitting sequel to Chapter 3.
Notes2: I don't perceive an end to this collection unless I run out of ideas. What I do perceive is that some chapters will be longer than others. That, however, depends on what the final word count will be. Some will be drabbles, some will be short stories.
Notes3: In the original draft, Sylvanas's comment about "certain parties getting touchy-feely" around her only pertained to Nova. I couldn't help but think "that's way too obvious!" so I decided to be a little more subtle about it.
Notes4: Also, that keg of booze Chen brings out? The alternate ending would've been him saying it was actually blood from all the meat the Butcher had carved in the kitchen, and Chen was to carry it to the stables to provide the more demonic/monstrous creatures to drink. Needless to say, both Sylvanas and Kael'thas would have been thoroughly appalled.

"Who…in the world…would do such a thing?" Kael'thas sneered at the watermelon. It was as smooth as a pebble and completely red with nary a sign of the green skin that covered it. It sat on top of a china dish in one half of another watermelon skin that was scooped clean of its own fruit, catching the light off the dining room fluorescents.

Sylvanas scoffed loudly and shook her head. She made to move away. "Don't you talk to me like that!" Kael'thas snapped at her. "This is serious!"

"What is there to be serious about? It's a watermelon. We've gone over this before."

"Yes, and the last time it happened I was sick to my stomach!"

"Was it because your childhood was ruined over seeing peas in your precious guacamole or because of the thought of what goes through Stitches's stomach?"

Kael'thas gagged and swallowed back bile. "P-Please don't remind me," he said thickly. "B-But still! No one should be carving their food in this manner! Nor smooth it out as such, especially with steel wool! That cannot be sanitary, and I will not touch food that has been tampered with!"

"On the contrary, my good friend, the Butcher used a dish pan scrubber," said Chen Stormstout. He was backpedalling out of the twin kitchen doors, hauling a keg of (What else? Sylvanas thought sourly) booze in his massive paws. It had to be filled to the brim, for both elves could hear the brew sloshing around in its vast confines. He set it down on the floor next to him with a huff. "I was the one who helped him scoop out the other watermelon. I do not know why he insisted on using an axe for it."

"What!" Kael'thas exclaimed. "Why would you do that?"

Chen gave him a confused look. "Mister Sunstrider, it would be a waste if we were to throw out the watermelon over such a project—"

"Not that! Why would you allow the Butcher of all people to lay his bloody hands on our food?! Have you heard of the things he's done for a living?"

"Hmm, I can't say I have. He is a creature of very few words. He hardly speaks at all. But I do know one thing: he likes knives and meat. Very, very much. He has a great big belly, just like me."

"Because he's a demon, you fool!" Kael'thas cried, and snatching Chen by the lapels of his coat shook him roughly. "Don't you see the horns, the red skin tone, the dirtiness of his weapons? Are you blind? He's called The Butcher for a reason! Carving is all he knows about and all he cares about!"

"And meat, too," Chen added. "If he could open up more, I am sure he would reveal himself to be quite the connoisseur."

"The ignorance in that statement is so astounding you could raise mountains and move them with it," Sylvanas snarled, throwing her hands up in the air. ""Riddle me this, Stormstout: did you and that niece of yours come into the Nexus before or after you wound up in the Eastern Kingdoms?"

Chen tapped a meaty finger to his chin. "Ah, my dear Lady, if my memory serves me right I believe I touched upon the shores well before the First War, on the back of a humbled whale shark—"

"I wasn't being serious about that!" she bit out, making him quail a little at the outburst.

"Oh? Are you sure? It's a very interesting story—"

"Nobody has time for that and I'm not one of them! You want to consort with demons, that's your business, but sooner or later, Stormstout, that fat, inarticulate waste of earthly resources will literally stab you in the back and make a four-course meal out of you! Then maybe your niece will finally get some meat on those bones of hers!"

"I think she's eating quite well," Chen said kindly. "Ah, but the beer—she could afford to drink more. It is in our nature."

"Great. Whatever."

Kael'thas turned his nose up and sniffed. "You tell him, Sylvanas! He has only himself to blame if he doesn't abide to our elven wisdom!"

"I'm not finished here yet," said Sylvanas.

"Whatever do you mean? I think you got the point across well enough—"

"I'm talking about you."

He sputtered. "Wh-What about me? What do I have to do with demons? Why, the very thought! Surely you jest!"

Sylvanas squashed the laughter rising unbidden in her throat. Oh, if only you knew. "I meant that!" She gestured at the shaved watermelon, to which Kael'thas glanced at with the expression of one who just stepped in something gross. "Do yourself a favor: grow a pair, pick them up, and walk away. You getting offended is making me feel offended, and I'll have none of it!"

"But—!"

"But nothing! First it was the peas, now it's the watermelon. Move on already! And you!" She seethed at Chen, who blinked widely at her. "You need to stop giving out free brew to everyone! It's making certain parties get touchy-feely around me! Mark my words; I'll chop anyone's hands off if they so much as show me how to 'embrace the skinship'! Including yours! Then we'll see where your kung-fu fighting leads you!" She stomped out of the kitchen.

Kael'thas shrugged. "My, and she thinks I'm overreacting!"

"She could use a good drink to raise her spirits," said Chen. "Perhaps I can ask Gazlowe if he could help devise a way the undead could imbibe to their heart's content."

"That wouldn't be a very good idea."

"No? We won't know unless we try."

"I wouldn't."

"I see. I suppose I shall go about it another way."

They stood in silence for a moment.

"You said you saved that watermelon you used for the shell?" Kael'thas asked.

"Of course. Would you like some?"

"Count me in! My good friend, I know many a recipe I can impart upon you. Come this way. Perhaps we can make some ourselves some salads…."