Chapter 3 - Perpetual Adoration

Emma didn't really know why she was in front of the church in the middle of the night. She should be at home lying in bed or watching some of the shows clogging up her DVR. That was what she normally did when Henry was at a sleepover, especially when she had the next day off. But instead she was here doing something completely ridiculous. And it was all Mary Margaret's fault. If her friend hadn't told her that she did her best thinking during the so-called Perpetual Adoration, she definitely wouldn't be here, though why that brought her to the steps of the church was anyone's guess. Because finding any solace in the adoration of the Eucharist…that was such utter crap, right? Keeping watch over a nonliving object. Of course, she realized that it was just symbolic. But still, Mary Margaret had only told her about it after Emma had poured her heart out about how their current case, or more accurately, cases, were driving her nuts.

The last three weeks had been hell. First, Dr. Hopper disappeared and then Robin of Locksley, or whatever his name actually was, appeared with a truly ludicrous story about coming from another world. Not that he could tell them much more – he couldn't remember anything besides that, other than the weird dreams he had. The moment David mentioned that tidbit to her, Emma actually had to bite her tongue to not blurt out that Robin could join the club. Saying that would have inevitably led to David asking her questions she didn't want to answer. But that wasn't even the half of it. Ten days ago, Leroy had disappeared. Exactly like Dr. Hopper, without a trace. And then just a few hours later Ruby dragged in a woman who called herself Mulan. That woman had told them almost the exact same story as Robin. Dr. Hopper and Robin she could shrug off as weird coincidences, even if she didn't really believe in coincidences. But then Leroy and Mulan? No, she couldn't ignore the parallels. This whole case was just a major disaster.

Hence why she was currently standing in front of the church, hoping for some divine sign to help her find out the truth. Even if she didn't believe in God at all, just sitting in the quiet church and letting her mind wander might do the trick. They were only going round in circles on this investigation, and she was desperate. Desperate enough to even try the most ridiculous things.

Emma opened the side door slowly, slipping in without a sound, careful not to let the door slam shut after she was through. Her law enforcement side frowned about the fact that the church was open all night – anyone could enter. If there had been a twenty-four-seven watch, if there were one person always present in the church, it probably wouldn't rankle her so much. At least the priest could put a combination lock on the side door, not that Emma thought she would have much success suggesting it. Apparently Storybrooke lacked the truly desperate criminals and those who didn't give a fuck about the sanctity of a church, or maybe all the inhabitants of this small town somehow still respected the house of the Lord, because she'd never heard of any of the statues or anything else of value going missing from the church during the hours of the night.

Still, the open door gave her a queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach and she looked around, her gaze scanning all the shadowy corners to make sure no ill-meaning person was hiding in there. Biting down a scoff, she shook her head at herself. She definitely watched too much true crime TV if she seriously expected someone to jump her in the church.

Walking slowly down the aisle up to the altar, she needed to admit that the quiet of the church at night had a soothing effect on her mind. Maybe coming here hadn't been such a bad idea after all.

Stopping at the front pew, she slipped in and sat down, the stillness enveloping her completely. She could even swear her heartbeat slowed down. Letting her mind wander, she hoped inspiration would strike her and help her with their case. But instead her mind drifted to the person she'd tried to stop thinking about. Though it shouldn't be a surprise, considering that she was sitting in his house, so to speak.

Her thoughts drifted back to the day she came to deliver the cookies and they ended up taking a kitten home. Even now her heartbeat accelerated at the mere thought of the way Killian had cradled the kitten in his arms. Not to mention the goosebumps that had erupted all over her body every time she accidentally brushed up against the priest. It was ridiculous that these completely innocent touches had thrown her so much. But they had. And if she was honest with herself, the memory itself threatened to pull her mind right back into the gutter that was never far gone every time she let herself think about the hot priest.

Sighing silently, she tried to force her mind to concentrate on the problem at hand but didn't succeed. She finally gave up, but pushed her brain to stop having indecent fantasies about how good the priest might be in bed and let her mind drift towards the other thing that had thrown her for a loop that day.

His prosthetic hand.

Not that she was repulsed in the slightest by the thought of his left arm ending in a stump. But the fact that she hadn't realized he was missing a hand when she first met him at Granny's diner told her more than she liked. Normally she was way more observant, would have seen the way he moved his left arm just a little differently than his right. Not realizing it right away...it wasn't a good sign at all. It showed her how much meeting him had thrown her off balance.

She didn't like feeling this rattled by a man. She'd built up certain walls for a very good reason. Letting anyone behind those walls just ended in hurt. Neal had taught her that all those years ago. At least that hurt had brought her Henry, and she wouldn't give up her kid for anything. But loving Henry was easy. Letting herself fall in love with a man was something completely different, and she'd vowed to never ever let a man be the center of her world again.

And look at her now. One look at a certain priest, and her hormones had gone haywire, plunging her into an abyss full of dirty thoughts and wet dreams. No matter how often she told herself that Killian was off-limits in more ways than one, she still couldn't keep her mind from coming back to him over and over again. Being attracted to him was bad enough, but she could have dealt with that without any problem. What made it so much harder was the fact that she likedhim.

Seeing him with the kitten in his arms, the way he knew exactly how to talk to her son to make him feel welcome...it made her heart skip in her chest. Her heart wasn't allowed to do that. But seriously, how could she not melt into a proverbial puddle on the floor when his long fingers had brushed down the kitten's back, the purr that had rumbled out of the kitten's throat making her knees go all weak? God, what she wouldn't have given to feel his fingers trailing down her spine at that moment.

Of course her mind had completely shut down when she'd brushed up against him, her body bursting into flames of hot lust when she'd just stared into his blue eyes. It had taken too much effort to keep herself from leaning forward and pressing her lips against his to find out if they were as soft as they looked. Thank God Henry had chosen that moment to interrupt them, reminding her where she was and how bad wanting to kiss the priest was.

But she wasn't here because of Killian. She was here as a last resort, welcoming the solitude the quiet church gave her. She could only hope that the late hour would prevent any priestly sightings.

Taking a deep breath, she forced her mind to go over the case files, turning all the facts back and forth in the hope something might jump out at her that she'd overlooked thus far.

She was so deep in thought that she didn't hear someone approaching her until a man suddenly sat down beside her, startling her so much that she feared her heart might break one of her ribs with how hard it was beating in her chest. It took her only a second to recognize the man, and the accompanying adrenaline rush from his appearance quieted down almost instantly.

"I didn't expect to find you here in the middle of the night, Miss Swan."

"I hope it's okay," Emma replied, trying to get her wildly beating heart to slow down again.

That proved to be a little more difficult than she'd hoped when looking at the man sitting beside her. He was wearing a long-sleeved henley and sweatpants, and she'd never seen him so casually dressed. It played havoc with her body. A picture jumped into her mind of him pulling the sweatpants down and wearing tight, black boxer-briefs underneath that didn't hide the ridge of his probably delicious cock. She had to bite her tongue to keep the moan in check that threatened to escape from her mouth.

"Of course it is," Father Jones assured her, thankfully unable to read her mind and see all the dirty thoughts she had about him. She needed to be grateful for small favors. "It's just...I've never seen you attending mass before. Nor have you ever appeared at confession."

Oh, believe me, Father. My confessions would turn the tips of your ears bright red.

Emma almost said it out loud and wouldn't that be a small catastrophe? She'd never be able to look him in the eyes again.

"I just assumed that if not an atheist that you weren't overly religious."

"Mary Margaret told my about this whole Perpetual Adoration thing and our case is stuck right now, so I thought why not come here and see if just sitting in a quiet church would do the trick," Emma tried to explain why she'd come to the church in the middle of the night. "Right now, I'm willing to take some desperate measures to find any lead at all. Even if it means sitting in a church."

His mouth twitched as if he was trying not to smile and Emma almost rolled her eyes at him. But that seemed to be too flirtatious, and she definitely didn't want to flirt with the priest. Dirty thoughts aside, she shouldn't tempt fate.

"I see," he said, his eyes twinkling with amusement while his mouth lost the fight against a smile and curled into a lopsided grin that did very weird things to her stomach. She tried to ignore the reaction of her body to his presence and forced herself to concentrate on his words and just his words. Not that it really helped with the attraction she felt for him, since his accented voice just upped the arousal coursing through her body, no matter that the actual words were nothing but normal conversation. "You are talking about the case involving the strange disappearances and appearances, correct?"

Emma wasn't surprised that the priest knew about it. The whole town knew about it. It was hard to hide the fact that citizens kept disappearing while strange people popped up out of nowhere all over town.

"Yeah, and we're finding absolutely no explanation for them."

"Did you ever consider a supernatural cause?"

"What? Like some kind of monster? Or alien abduction?" Emma barely suppressed the disbelieving scoff that threatened to slip out of her mouth. "Don't tell me you saw a UFO."

"Well, no," the priest replied, his mouth curling up into another lopsided smirk that shot a shiver down her spine, making it that much harder to ignore the attraction she felt for him. But when the light of the candles on the altar caught in his eyes and showed the mischievous flicker accompanied by a flash of white teeth as he grinned, she just couldn't ignore the white-hot heat that coiled in her stomach and sent a pulse of lust right between her legs.

"But I do believe in God and his son, the Savior. So aye, I have no problem believing in things I can't see with my own eyes. There are more things between heaven and earththan are dreamed of."

"Shakespeare, huh?" Emma cocked an eyebrow at the priest, letting her disbelief tinge her voice as she added, "No offense, Father. But I don't believe in mythical creatures. I just believe in facts."

"The story you told me…there seems to be only one explanation for it."

"And what explanation would that be? Enlighten me, Father. Because I have no clue."

"What if different worlds exist? What if science fiction isn't fiction at all, just science we haven't discovered yet? What if there are different universes?"

"You've got to be kidding me," Emma scoffed, ignoring the voice in her head that tried to tell her that he did have a point, even if it was a stretch to think of different universes existing at the same time.

"Why? Just take Occam's Razor, for example. The simplest answer is usually the correct one."

"The only thing that proves is that you're one literate priest."

"Just think about this possibility for a minute, Miss Swan." His voice got deeper, his accent making the words sound more delicious than they should. She was going to blame the late hour for her ridiculous thoughts. Instead, she let herself revel in his voice washing over her, for once ignoring the far too rational side of her mind and tried to open her mind to something different. "For whatever reason, the veil between the universes has thinned. Certain spots are more translucent than others. Maybe Dr. Hopper and Leroy happened to find those spots by mistake and wandered into another universe while Robin and Mulan came to ours."

"That's…a load of crap," Emma snapped, unable to believe in these kind of things even if just moments ago she was willing to try. But his theory was just too outrageous to even contemplate it being true. "Excuse my language, Father."

"No offense taken," Killian said calmly. "But God works in mysterious ways. Maybe he created more than one world."

His fingers suddenly curled around hers and he squeezed them for a moment before letting go. That short contact threw her into a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. And where did she get off about thinking of him as Killian and not Father Jones? She should put a lid on that particular Pandora's Box right this second before she did something she would regret.

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe in God," she replied, shifting a little to the side to put some distance between them without making it too obvious. "I would rather believe magic exists than in God, to be honest."

"Then maybe it's magic. You should keep your mind open to the improbable, Miss Swan. Only then will you be able to see what others might overlook."

"It's way too late for this kind of conversation. Other universes and magic?" Emma shrugged her shoulders, holding her hand up to cover her mouth when she couldn't keep a yawn from escaping. "I really should go home and get some sleep."

"Before you go…I have something for you." Killian stood up and gestured in the direction of his office. Emma was way too tired to find an excuse to not follow him. Not to mention that she'd given up on not calling him Killian in her head.

"One kitten is definitely enough," she told him as she followed him down the aisle.

"No, not another kitten." He chuckled when he opened the door to his office. He stepped towards his desk and pulled out a drawer, searching inside for a few seconds before pulling something out that looked like a small locket on a chain. He walked back towards her, opening his hand and letting the chain uncurl, catching the locket with his prosthetic hand so that she could have a look at it.

"Who is this?" Emma asked, knowing what it was without having to be overly religious. She'd seen saint lockets a few times before. She didn't know why Killian wanted her to have one, though. She just told him that she didn't believe in God. That should include saints, too.

"Saint Anne, the Patron Saint of Mothers," he said softly, letting the chain and locket drop into her outstretched hand. Emma didn't even know when she'd opened her hand, but apparently she wanted to take his gift even if she believed it was a bad idea to take anything of meaning from him. It just would make it even harder to ignore the attraction she felt for him. But how should she resist, when he was looking at her like that, with his blue eyes boring into her as if he was seeing more than she wanted to show him and his voice so low that she needed to strain her ears to understand his words? It made the whole conversation feel way too intimate. "I know you don't believe in God and probably not in saints either. But you can look upon her just as an extraordinary woman who might lend you a modicum of her strength while you try to figure out who or what your perpetrator is."

"Thank you," Emma whispered, curling her fingers around the locket as if she were afraid he might take it away from her again if she didn't hold on to it as tightly as she could.

"You're welcome," he replied softly, his fingers brushing over her closed fist and shooting shivers down her spine when he took a step back. "Good night, Miss Swan."

"Good night, Father Jones."

The locket dug painfully into the palm of her hand when she turned around and walked out of the office. But she welcomed the pain, centered her mind on it to keep herself from turning around, throwing herself at the priest and kissing the living daylights out of him.

That wouldn't do.

That wouldn't do at all.

Killian walked into a dark cavern, stepping to the edge of the small ledge. He avoided looking down into the deep abyss, focusing instead on the pillar of stone in the middle with a cage on top. He knew the man in the cage, his heart constricting in his chest when their eyes met, but he didn't say a word. Instead he turned around to a blonde woman who'd stepped onto the ledge with him. A blonde woman he tried not to think about too much. But here she was, looking as beautiful as ever. He knew he was here to reveal his darkest secret, a secret he didn't really want to say out loud. But he had to.

"I kissed Emma," he said softly, keeping his eyes on the woman who looked at him with wide eyes, a flash of fear flitting over her face before she straightened.

"But it was just a kiss," she said, a hint of accusation in her tone. "How is this your darkest secret?"

Of course just saying he kissed her wasn't enough, an explanation was in order, so he took a deep breath and jumped right into the confession.

"It's what the kiss exposed. My secret is…I never thought I'll be capable of letting go of my first love. Of my Milah. To believe that I could find someone else. That is, until I met you."

Her mouth fell open in astonishment, her eyes boring into his. Did she believe him? Did she feel the same? Her expression didn't give anything away, and before he could say anything else the ground under their feet rumbled and stones appeared out of nowhere, clicking together to start a bridge towards the pillar of stone in the middle.

He turned around, taking a step towards her. He wanted to pull her into his arms, wanted to bury his face in her hair and just forget everything for a few precious seconds.

She closed the gap between them, her arm lifting and her hand hovering a few inches over his forearm and then…he woke up with his heart racing in his chest and his body drenched in sweat.

With shaking fingers, Killian pushed the sheet off his body and stood up, stumbling into the adjacent bathroom to splash some cold water into his face in hope of chasing the remnants of the dream from his thoughts. No such luck.

Emma was always on his mind, even in these weird dreams he'd been having ever since he came to Storybrooke. Walking slowly back into his bedroom, he dropped down onto the mattress, burying his face in his hand. Why did these dreams feel so real? Every single one of them felt more like a memory than a dream.

His thoughts drifted back to the conversation he'd had with Emma in the church a few hours ago. Maybe different worlds really did exist, maybe the Bible wasn't telling the whole truth. Maybe people actually were reincarnated, reborn. Like he told Emma...the simplest answer was usually correct.

And the simplest answer to the eerie connection he felt with Emma was that he'd known her before he met her. Known her from another life? Had they been together in a previous life? Was that the reason they felt drawn to each other? But what did that mean for this life? Was he supposed to give up the priesthood to be with her? Where they destined to be together? Was he fighting something that he wasn't supposed to fight?

These thoughts almost felt like blasphemy. Maybe Emma was sent to him by God to test his faith. Instead of talking himself into thinking being with Emma was the right thing to do, he should probably focus his mind on doing God's will. And God couldn't want him to shed the cloth and pursue a woman, could he?

Thank you all for the comments, favorites and follows. They brighten my days. And since people are wondering...it will still take a little longer until Killian and Emma stop fighting the mutual attraction. :-)