Chapter eighteen

Guess who's back?! Sorry for the long waiting.. It was a busy year with hard times. I don't know how many times I can upload these coming months but I'll try and do my best.

A huge thanks tot he many reviews which encouraged me to write further. I cannot write to everyones likings, so there might be a few things which you don't like. Sometimes I take those things with me, like calming Alyssa down a bit, but sometimes you just have to deal with it.

Hope you enjoy it!

Alyssa

She wanted him to continue, she didn't want him to stop. But he did.

Their kiss lasted only a few moments in Alyssa's head before he stopped. He didn't pull her away, instead he only pulled her closer so that she could rest her head on his chest.

"I'm sorry, I can't." He whispered as he smelled her hair.

Alyssa sighed. "That's alright. I know you can't. You and your stupid vows."

Jon grimaced. "I know. But I have to do this. The White Walkers are coming and the Wall needs me Alys."

Alyssa quickly thought of something that might change his mind, but she couldn't. She knew he was right: after everything he had seen behind the Wall, they needed him and his knowledge. And they needed him to negotiate with the Wildlings.

"I know they do." She sighed once more. "But, once you've found a loophole, you'll…?"

Jon started to laugh. "Then I will leave the Wall and marry you. Of course, I will still fight for them, but I just would have a pretty wife."

Alyssa grinned. "Then it's okay."

Jon let her go. "I need to speak with Thorne. What are you going to do today?"

"I don't know. Maybe catching up with Shireen, she's a sweet girl. Or maybe read some books in the library. Or waiting fort he Wicked Witch to come and pick me up to speak with Stannis."

Jon give her a painful face. "Please call him King Stannis, Alys. He might not be your King, but he rules over here and we need his men."

Alyssa took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. "I have no King or Queen until this war is over. In every region there's someone else ruling. I just get confused over it." But when she saw Jon's worrying face, she added: "Okay. I will call him King, if that makes you feel any better."

"It does, actually. And I will leave Ghost with you. The Wall is not a place for a woman to wander around alone. He can keep you safe."

Alyssa gave him her special smile which she knew made him weak in the knees. "Thank you Jon, that's very gentle. I am sure that Ghost will keep me safe."

She saw that Jon was controlling himself after her smile as he nodded and left her alone in the small room.

Alyssa sighed as she leaned against the cold wall. The kiss he gave her was sweet, but also bittersweet. It was cruel to know how good it could have been, her and Jon together. She thought of the dream she once had in Kings Landing, which seemed era's away. How she and her little daughter Emilia would do some needlework and how Jon and their son Eddard would swing their wooden swords at the courtyard of Winterfell.

But now she knew this was actually never going to happen. When she came to the Wall she still had some small hope. Maybe there was a loophole. But there wasn't. And even if she did everything that Stannis would tell her to do, he couldn't do anything for her and Jon. This was the end. The kiss was a goodbye kiss. And for the first time in her life, Alyssa Lannister felt heartbroken.

…..

Jaime

He had had a restless night. He worried for Alyssa's life, but as well for his own. The Boltons weren't easy to trust and Alyssa's big escape hadn't made things easier.

Jaime knew he needed to leave Winterfell as soon as possible. He made himself ready to break his fast, but it still wasn't easy to dress himself with one hand. He cursed himself a few times before he left his cold room and entered the room where Roose and Walda already sat to eat.

"Ah! Ser Jaime." Lord Bolton said as he saw Jaime entering. "I hope you have slept well?"

Jaime knew he didn't mean a word of what he just said, but still answered politely. "Yes, I have, my Lord. Thank you for asking."

Roose smiled, or at least he tried to. "Please, sit down and have something to eat."

Jaime sat down in front of him and looked at the food. There wasn't much, and he thought that had something to do with Lady Walda's appetite.

He reached for some bread as a maid gave him a cup of water.

"Well, Ser Jaime. I assume you want to travel North as soon as possible, hm?" Roose Bolton asked him without blinking.

"Yes, yes I would. I need to know what my little sister has been up to lately."

"Ah, won't we all.. I need to ask you if you would be so kind to return your sister safely to Winterfell, as I and my son have still some things to discuss with her."

Jaime took some extra time to finish his cup of water before he responded. "Yes, yes. She needs to explain herself. That would be most decent of her to do."

"I appreciate your honesty, Ser Jaime. And, as you may have heard, my son's wife has died tonight."

Oh yes, Jaime had heard. He had heard her last screams and sobs until it became painfully quiet. He knew she had died a painful death by the hands of Ramsay Bolton. And it was all his fault: he sent Jeyne Poole to Winterfell and made her to pretend to be Arya Stark. He felt sorry for the young girl, but was also glad that it wasn't his little sister.

"I have heard. I am sorry for your loss, Lord Bolton. I am sure she was a fine wife to your son." Jaime nodded quietly.

"Don't be." Ramsay Bolton smiled as he entered the room, with his personal servant Reek behind him. "Our fathers had a plan, Ser Jaime. You see, I was supposed to marry your little sister, the Lady Alyssa. Of course, Lady Stark was a fine match, but she was weak and a bloody traitor. I would rather have your strong sister by my side when I will rule the North once." He stated as he licked his lips with a crazy gaze in his eyes.

Jaime observed him. Just by the thought of Alyssa as his wife made Ramsay crazy with lust: his brand new toy.

"Yes. My sister Alyssa is a very strong woman indeed, loved by many." Jaime said as he looked Ramsay straight into his eyes as he tried to warn him. "Unfortunately, my sister is the heir to Casterly Rock, and now that my father is dead, she needs to rule the Westerlands."

"Ah," Roose Bolton said with a cold smile. "Your sister Her Grace already took care of that. Alyssa will marry Ramsay, like she was supposed to, and you, Ser Jaime, will rule the Westerlands and leave the Kingsguard." As Roose said this, he handed Jaime a letter.

It had Cersei's handwriting indeed. And it was signed by Tommen. Cersei had him right where he didn't want to be. How could she send him away from her? From Tommen? They were all he had left now with Alyssa and Tyrion gone. He loved her, but she send him away..

Jaime sighed. "As it is His Grace's wish, I will now leave for my sister and return her safely to you. She will marry your son and rule alongside him. Under one condition: you both need to sign a new contract that no harm will come to her. If word reach us, and by that I mean the King and me, that my sister is in pain, then we will take all lands from you."

Ramsay looked at his father, satisfied, and Roose nodded. "Done."

"Good. My servant will make up a contract as I make myself ready to leave. Thank you for your time, Lord Bolton." Jaime said as he stood up and left.

"Thank you, Ser Jaime." Roose Bolton said coldly, as his voice made Jaime shiver. "Ramsay's servant will take you back to your chambers."

Reek nodded quickly as he walked with Jaime.

When the Boltons were out of earsight, Reek whispered something to him.

"Don't take her back here, Ser."

Jaime turned around, surprised. "Of course I won't. They don't serve wine here."

….

Alyssa

"I'm just saying, Shireen. If your mother would drink some wine once in a while, she would smile more often." Alyssa shrugged as she looked at the young girl, who was busy reading a book.

"Alyssa! You can't say that!" Shireen said, but she laughed. "And please stop talking, I really want to finish this book and I can't concentrate when you keep talking."

Alyssa sighed. "How can you keep on reading for so long? I've just been here for a couple of days and I am bored already."

"You should try and drink less." Shireen said as she looked at Alyssa's cup meaningfully.

She looked at her cup of wine as well. As soon as she and Ghost were back in her chambers, she had reached for the wine that stood there. The wine was spicy, which made her feel warm, as the cold and her broken heart made her feel like she was frozen. After a few cups, she had made up her mind and made a new plan. It was going to be hard, but she had no other choice.

"Sorry, not a very good example, am I?" She joked.

Shireen shrugged. "You're still an intelligent woman. Just don't try to ruin that."

Just as Alyssa tried to make a comforting remark, the door opened as Melisandre walked in. As it was very unexpectedly, Alyssa shocked as she let her cup of glass fall onto the floor.

"Ouch!" She said as she saw a small cut in her finger.

Melisandre looked to the glass with Alyssa's blood on it. "His Grace would like to speak with you, my Lady." She said as her eyes were still on the glass.

"Yes. Let me just clean this up and I'll be with you." Alyssa said as she stood up to clean the mess.

"No. I will do it. His Grace doesn't like to wait. He is waiting for you in his tower. Princess?" Melisandre said as she turned to Shireen. "Your mother called for you. She is waiting for you in your chambers."

Shireen sighed as she put her book down and left, as she gave Alyssa a hug.

Alyssa gave Melisandre a mean look, as she walked out of the room as well with Ghost patiently next to her.

She knocked impatiently on the door three times as Ser Davos opened it for her.

Stannis was sitting on his chair with his back to Alyssa. He turned around to see who walked in and waved impatiently.

"Lady Lannister, have a seat."

"Thank you, Your Grace." Alyssa said sweetly.

Both men looked at each other in surprisement as Ser Davos shrugged. Stannis turned his gaze to Alyssa again.

"You are here to negotiate." Stannis said firmly.

"I am aware of that. Do you have some wine, Your Grace? I'm thirsty." She asked politely.

"If you are thirsty then drink some water." Stannis spoke firmly. "What information do you have for me?"

Alyssa, a little shocked by his answer but didn't show, answered. "Nothing more than I said last time: yes, Tommen is a bastard. Jaime's the father, Cersei the mother. So is Myrcella and so was Joffrey. But they shouldn't pay for the mistakes of their parents. Tommen and Myrcella are sweet children. Jaime is gentle. Annoying, but gentle. He doesn't show it, I know." Alyssa sighed as she continued. "I am not going to repeat everything I have said to you. So I have a proposition."

Stannis raised an eyebrow and waited for her to speak again.

"I will return to Casterly Rock and rule the Westerlands. I will write Cersei a letter in which I apologize for this exclusive and unplanned trip, and I will let you read it before a raven will deliver it. I will find myself a suitable husband…" She stopped for a moment because of the tears that filled her eyes, "And with his army and mine we will support your claim. Cersei won't know about all of this. She will think that I will support her claim and all the information that she is given to me, will be sent to you." She sighed deeply as she looked at Stannis to see what he was thinking.

He thought for a moment, but then said: "Done."

"Under one condition: Jaime, Tyrion, Myrcella and Tommen will be safe. Cersei will be punished accordingly. I think that I can trust you with that?" She said as she raised a suspicious eye at him.

Stannis waited a second to answer. Alyssa could see that her condition made him think deeply. He sighed: "Done."

"Done." Alyssa said as she took a deep breath and smiled wildly to the two men, who didn't know how to react. "Now, Your Grace, if you will excuse me. I will pack my things and write the letter. I will hand it to you and tell my goodbyes to the Princess and to the few friends I have here." She nodded to them and stood up to leave the room.

"Well, Casterly Rock, here I come." She thought.

It was hard for her to lie to her sister. Lying was the second nature of a Lannister, but the problem was a Lannister always knew when another Lannister was lying. She could never fool her father, brothers and sister. Sometimes, her father would act like he believed her, but that was just because he didn't want to believe otherwise.

Alyssa dipped the quill in the cold, deep blue ink as she started to write:

'Dear sister,

At first my condolences for the loss of our father, a just man.
Though it was hard to believe sometimes, he wanted the best for his children.
He left us a legacy that will last a thousand years.
It is our duty now as a family to continue all of his hard work.

The death of our father left me heartbroken and I needed some time on my own to think.
I have been at the Wall for some time. Stannis Baratheon is here as well.
Dear sister, please don't be mad, but I've made a deal with him.

I told him that I will support his claim and spy for him in our family. I will take my place as the Lady of Casterly Rock and send our men to his if needed be.
Partly it is true. It is my intention to go to Casterly Rock and take our father's place as his loyal heir, like he mended it to be. The other part is not true, but I needed to tell him this to make sure that I was safe.

I will send another raven when I have reached the Rock.

Give Tommen my love.

Kind regards,

Your little cub.'

She put down her quill as the door slammed open. Alyssa looked, shocked, to see who was there.

She was already waiting for him to come, so it was no surprise to see an angry, but also sad, Jon in the entrance.

"What have you done?" He asked, as Alyssa could hear the pain in his voice.

Alyssa sighed, as she waved at him to come further in. "I did what needed to be done."

"You are leaving." He simply said, as Alyssa poured him a cup of wine.

"Yes Jon, I am leaving." She handed the cup to him. "Your life will continue at the Wall as will mine at the Rock. Like you said, the Wall is not a place for a woman."

She folded the letter as she looked at Jon, who seemed to be confused. He deserved a better explanation than this.

"Look Jon.. Me, coming over here.. It was wrong. More than wrong. I didn't know what I was thinking." She threw the letter on the bed and walked towards the window. A cold breeze entered via her flesh. She put her hands around her arms to warm herself up.

"It was good to see you again. It was. But you swore a vow. You cannot take a wife, nor land. I am a Lady and the heir to a wealthy land. You need to fulfil your destiny, but so do I. I need heirs, so I need a suitable husband who would not have to break his vows for me. I hate it, walking out on you and saying goodbye to you for the second time, but maybe it was meant this way. To say a proper goodbye, both knowing that nothing good would come from this. I have loved you, I still do, and you will always have a place in my heart." She turned her face away from his, as tears started to show in her eyes.

Jon walked towards her, probably knowing what was troubling her. "Any man would be so lucky to be with you." He said as he lifted her chin so that she needed to look at him. "I'm sorry that that man is not me."

They both stared into each other's eyes. Their faces started to get close to each other.

"Would he?" She thought.

But she didn't want to feel the disappointment of him saying 'no' to her. She couldn't feel that pain again, so she turned her face away.

"Let's not make this any more complicated." She said as she walked over to the bed to fix the letter she wrote. She wanted to get out of here as soon as she could.

"You're right." Jon said as he corrected himself. "I need to see Stannis. I suppose to see you there."

He walked over to the door as he hesitated once he was there. Alyssa could hear him stop walking as she turned around.

"I love you, Alyssa Lannister." He said as he gave her his sweet smile.

"And I love you, Jon Snow." She said as she returned his smile.

He walked out of the room and left her behind, alone.

I hope you liked it! And I hope to post another update in the upcoming week as I am free from work and study, but I can't make any promises.

I don't know what will be on next time, because I want to speed up the story a little. I have some new ideas, but they all are in around season 6. We are at season 5 now, so I need to speed up!

Let me know what you guys think!

Love