I hope you all had some great Christmas days! Thank you so much for your continued support.

sambethe made another amazing artwork for this chapter, capturing this pivotal moment for CS perfectly.

Chapter 13 - Taking the Leap

Emma had only planned to sit down on the couch and rest her eyes for a minute after downing the shot of rum. But the day must have exhausted her more than she'd thought, because she'd woken up to sun streaming into the apartment and a crick in her neck. The sharp stab of pain when she'd turned her head had reminded her of the massage Killian had given her and where it had eventually ended. Another sort of pain had zinged through her body as she'd remembered ending their affair yesterday, followed closely by the memories of the visit of her ex and the fact that he'd turned her world upside down.

Before she'd had any time to dwell on how exactly she was supposed to approach the priest and kiss him in the hopes that the love she felt for him was enough to break the freaking curse Henry had entered the apartment and every thoughts of kisses and curses had to be put on the backburner for a while.

Now she was alone again, her son was at school, and she was left with the chaos that was her life now.

Emma still couldn't really grasp it, though. The story Neal had told her seemed totally bonkers. But she'd remembered. She drank the potion he'd given her because while she might not be in love with him anymore - hadn't been for a very long time - she still loved him despite everything she'd been through because of him. She didn't think he would actually poison her. Since he wouldn't gain anything from her death. Neal had a lot of faults, but he was still Henry's father, and once upon a time she'd loved him deeply.

So she drank the funny tasting liquid just to placate him, not expecting that anything would happen. But it did. Thousands and thousands of memories had assaulted her, flitted through her mind in technicolor at high speed. The day Henry appeared at her door to bring her back to Storybrooke. Everything that had happened when she arrived in town, thinking that she only brought a lost boy home to his parent. It had been so much more complicated than that. She had found her parents. Found out that she was actually a princess.

And the Savior.

Her life had been a whirlwind of unbelievable events from then on. Jumping through a portal to the Enchanted Forest where she met a certain pirate with whom she climbed up a beanstalk, a pirate that she got closer and closer to when he helped her get to Neverland to rescue her son from the clutches of a madman.

And then Pan's Curse hit the town.

She still couldn't fathom how that had all worked. Parts of her memories were intact while she knew for a fact that Killian's memories had been almost completely altered. But she'd really believed that she'd raised Henry, didn't give him up all those years ago. That still hurt. Because the fabricated memories of her life with him from the day he was born were still in her head. She knew they were fake, no matter how much she wished they weren't.

She let out a shuddering breath as she went over her memories of the last few months. Memories she had actually made. And front and center to almost all those memories was one single person.

Killian Jones. The priest who was actually a pirate. Captain Hook.

She wondered if Killian had had dreams about her, too. If deep down in his mind memories of her had survived the curse and came back to the surface in his dreams. He'd promised her he would win her heart and he had. She just wasn't sure if it was enough. She fell in love with a priest over the last few months, fell in love with the person Killian was as a priest.

But was that real? Did he love her as much as she loved him? Would he still love her when all his memories were back?

After all, having all her memories back made her way more guarded again. She'd promised herself after she'd given Henry away that she would never love someone ever again. But those memories had been gone the last few months. They weren't there to keep her from falling in love with a person she already knew before the curse. Killian had managed to pierce through all the walls she'd built around her heart. Those walls hadn't been as thick while she'd been in the clutches of the curse. He'd practically just walked through them, even though loving a priest was prone to end in disaster. She'd let herself fall anyways. She just wasn't sure anymore if she could hold on to that kind of love now that she had her memories back.

She was afraid. Scared shitless. But if Neal was right – and she had to assume he was – she couldn't shy away. The only one she loved maybe deeply enough to break the curse was the pirate.

But was she brave enough to take the jump without a safety net, hoping he'd catch her on the other side? Because nothing else would work. She knew that. She had to believe wholeheartedly in their love. In them.

The lives of dozens of people depended on her taking that leap. She just hoped she was strong enough to save them all.

Killian woke up with a raging headache and cottonmouth, wishing he could just turn around and go back to sleep. But duty called. His parishioners needed him. He couldn't just take a sick day no matter how heartbroken he was.

Stumbling out of bed and into the bathroom, he took one look at himself in the mirror and swallowed a curse. He looked terrible. No surprise there, since he'd emptied the bottle of rum hidden in his desk last night after Emma had left him. He hadn't even thought about dulling the effect of the alcohol by getting food into his empty stomach. Of course he looked like death warmed over and felt like it.

After having a hearty breakfast and some good old tea he felt at least slightly human again. He even managed to not think too much about Emma for about an hour, but when he stepped into the church that short reprieve came to an end, especially when his eyes fell on the confessional booth. He just managed to get to the nearest pew before his legs gave out under him and he forced his eyes towards the altar and the cross behind it.

"Help me please?" he whispered, falling to his knees and bowing his head, silently asking for a sign from above, for something that would help him deal with the pain.

But of course he didn't get an answer. For the first time since he'd become a priest, he didn't find solace in his faith. He'd broken his vows over and over again with Emma, enjoyed almost every second of it. He should probably repent now, but he couldn't find it in him to regret it. He'd fallen in love. And he couldn't just fall out of love with her. He knew he needed time to heal. Knew his faith would help him with that eventually. But right now the only thing he felt was utter heartbreak.

Maybe he needed to physically move on. Start fresh in a new town. He liked Storybrooke, but he didn't know if he could stay here and run into Emma all the time. That was inevitable in a small town like Storybrooke.

He would think about it. Spent some time in prayer until he was steady on his feet again. Solid in his faith again. But deep down he knew that leaving Storybrooke might be the best course of action. Cutting all the ties. Faith had gotten him through a rough time before. He just needed to believe it would do so once again.

It had taken her a few hours to talk herself up, to find enough courage to face Killian again. After the things she'd said to him yesterday she knew she had her work cut out for her. Now she was standing in front of the church with a racing heart and a mind full of doubts.

Could she really risk it? Would it even work?

But she had to try. She couldn't chicken out. Too much depended on her going through with it. With a deep breath she reached for the door, opened it and entered the church.

She couldn't see much at first, her eyes adjusting from the bright sun outside to the dim lighting in the church. After a few seconds she was able to make out a figure sitting in the first pew. She recognized Killian immediately. But he didn't look back. He was apparently deep in prayer, judging by his bowed head. She almost turned around again, probably would have if a hell of a lot of lives weren't on the line here.

As she walked slowly down the aisle the click of her shoes echoed loudly through the church and Killian's head snapped around. She saw the exact moment he recognized her, his whole posture stiffening before he slowly stood up and moved out of the pew.

Her feet seemed to weigh a ton, each step harder as the last one as she walked towards him, a small part of her hoping for a smile from him. Of course, she didn't get one. That would have been way too easy. But couldn't he give her at least something?

Her nerves fluttered like crazy when she reached him, the hard expression on his face making it even harder to suppress the urge to just turn around and flee.

"What are you doing here, Miss Swan?"

It hurt more than she wanted to admit that he addressed her like that. Not that she could fault him for not using her given name. She'd wanted a clean cut. She deliberately wanted her words to hurt him so that there would be no way they could go back to what they had before. But now they needed to go back. She needed him to love her as much as she loved him.

"I...I need…we..."

The words wouldn't come, and just being in his presence sent a wave of dizziness through her body. Not to mention that the whole town needed her to find a way to make this right again. To kiss him with all the love she felt and hope for the best. But she couldn't just plant one on him, could she?

She had a whole speech prepared in her mind, but she couldn't remember one word of it now. She really didn't know how to explain all of it, and maybe the direct approach would work better anyways. So she just stepped up to him and pulled his head down, pressing her mouth to his. Her heart thumped madly in her chest while she kept her lips against his and waited. But nothing happened. No whoosh of magic swept over them. He didn't even react to the kiss. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe he didn't really love her. Because if he did, shouldn't he know it deep down that they belonged together?

The truth crashed down on her and she stumbled backwards, loss and failure slamming the air out of her lungs.

"I'm sorry, Emma," Killian said softly, his face still void of any emotions. "But you were right. We never had a future together. We both should accept that and move on."

A tremor rocked through her, swirls of panic threatening to drown her. This was it. This was the end. It was over.

They were doomed. All of them were doomed.

She couldn't keep standing there. She needed to flee. They would all die, and there was nothing she could do about that.

Swallowing a sob, she whirled around and started to run, tears blinding her vision as she rushed out of the church. She kept running until her lungs seemed to burst and her leg muscles ached. Only then did she stop and leaned forward, planting her hands on her knees and taking in huge gulps of air.

She had failed. She had failed everyone.

Killian could only stare after her, his lips still tingling from her kiss. He had no clue what that had all been about. She'd been so cold yesterday when she told them they were over. But now, just twenty-four hours later, she walked up to him and kissed him without any explanation.

What did she expect? That she could just come up to him and continue where they left off?

He had just gotten a modicum of his composure back after hours of praying, but then Emma showed up and shattered his resolve once again. But he'd stayed strong, even if the crushed expression on her face after she'd kissed him had nearly made him falter. He'd almost kissed her back, but he hadn't spent the last hours in the church searching for the solace he found in his faith to just crash it on a whim. Because it was only a whim.

He wouldn't let himself think it had been more. She'd probably only came back for one last taste of him. As much as his body wanted to take her up on the offer, he couldn't do it. For a brief moment he'd contemplated the idea of giving up a whole lot for the woman who made his life so much brighter. He would never forget the time they'd spent together. But it was over now, and that was a good thing. He had to believe that. Otherwise he might not be able to keep himself out of the darkness.

She'd been on autopilot ever since she'd left Killian, keeping a happy mask firmly in place for her son. But it was cracking and she could hardly keep it together until Henry left for school again.

They were running out of time. They had no way of stopping it, at least no way she knew of. Maybe it was time to take Neal up on his offer and go to him to talk. Maybe he forgot to mention something important the seer had told him. Maybe if they went over it again together there would be a clue buried somewhere in the cryptic message about another solution to break the curse.

She clung to that morsel of hope and threw on her clothes, pulling her hair in a haphazard ponytail and foregoing putting on any make-up. Considering the mess they were in, putting on lipstick and eyeshadow seemed a complete waste of time. Grabbing her keys, she rushed out of the door. The sooner she talked to Neal, the closer she was to finding a way to stop the apocalypse from happening.

A cold shiver ran down her spine as she entered Gold's old shop. Everything was like it was the last time she'd been in there, which seemed like a lifetime ago. She'd only ever been in there to confront Gold or practically force him to give her something to solve a problem. And there had been so many since she'd come to this town with Henry.

When Neal stepped into the shop through the curtain at the back, she shoved all those memories away. They had no place here right now. There were much more urgent matters to attend to.

"What's wrong?" Neal asked wearily, apparently picking up on the anxiety that jittered all over her body.

The lump in her throat that had been there since yesterday grew larger, making it hard for her to speak. Her voice sounded way too hoarse as she said, "It didn't work."

"Oh," Neal said, his shoulders slumping, the haggard expression on his face deepening even further. "I see."

She wanted to scream at him. Yell at him until her throat was raw. But that wouldn't get them anywhere, would it? They needed to find another way to break that curse, and there were only five days left. She'd racked her brain throughout the whole night, only sleeping in fits, strange dreams making her sleep anything but restful. But no matter how hard she tried to find another solution, she'd come up empty.

"Neal, we…" She gulped hard, trying to keep a lid on the panic that had lingered in the back of her mind ever since he'd come to find her and tell her about the next crisis. The ultimate crisis. "There has to be another way. The seer must have seen more."

"I'm sorry, Emma. I went over her prediction in my mind over and over again. There isn't another way. Even if there is one...we don't have the time to find it." He let out a shuddering breath and lifted his hand to pinch his nose. His eyes fell closed as he went silent for far too long, making Emma's anxiety ratchet up considerably. God, she hated feeling so out of her element. When he finally opened his eyes again and looked at her she hoped for a miracle. But it didn't happen. "You're sure it didn't work?"

"Yes, there was no whoosh of magic. Henry still doesn't remember." Her throat tightened up even more, the hopelessness of their situation tying her stomach in knots. "I failed. I failed everyone."

Neal furrowed his brows, looking at her pensively. His odd look didn't help with her current mood and she snapped, "What?"

"Tell me how it went down."

She didn't want to tell him, but they were running out of time and if they wanted to find a solution he needed to know everything. So she told him what exactly happened when she went to see Killian.

"You just kissed him?" he asked incredulously, his expression conveying complete disbelief.

"What was I supposed to do? Explain everything to him?" Emma huffed, throwing her hands in the air, exasperation about the situation getting the better of her. "That certainly would have gone down well."

"Does he know you love him?"

"I guess."

"You guess?"

"I never told him," Emma admitted, suddenly feeling foolish for not thinking about telling Killian how she truly felt about him. He should know.

"So you pushed him away, told him it was over for good and then you just showed up and planted a kiss on him."

He didn't voice it as a question, but his disapproval of how she'd handled it was a little too much for her right now. "Don't act as if you're capable of giving any relationship advice."

"Touché." He held up his hands, his eyes softening as he looked at her. They really needed to have a talk when this was all over. Clear the air. Henry should have been able to have his father in his life. She wanted him to get to know his father better. But first they needed to survive this new crisis. Neal cleared his throat and stepped closer, putting a hand on her arm. "I might not be very fond of the pirate. But I know he loves you. Look Emma, I can imagine that this is probably the scariest thing you've ever done. But it has to be done."

"What thing?"

"You need to jump. Jump high and wide, without fear."

She almost took a step backwards, his words bringing all her old fears back to the forefront. "I tried. And it didn't work."

"Try harder," Neal said emphatically, pulling her into his arms. And she let him. Just for one moment she would let herself be weak and lean on him. His voice was low when he whispered into her ear, "I promise you, Emma. He will catch you. You just have to believe in him."

Believe in him? Believe in the pirate?

As the words reverberated in her mind she realized that she already did. She truly believed in him. She might not have been able to jump before the curse, but now...after spending so much time with him over the last weeks, seeing him in a totally different light without their pasts clouding her mind?

She did. She truly did.

She stepped out of Neal's embrace and walked over to one of the cluttered shelves, just needing a few minutes to pull herself together. Closing her eyes, she conjured up an image of Killian in her mind. Saw him for a split second in his robes and with the white collar of his profession around his neck before the picture changed and he was clad in his pirate clothes.

She needed to stop separating these two sides of him. True, she'd fallen in love with a priest, but curses didn't change the person you were deep down. The true you. It might have taken way longer for her to see the true Killian without the curse, but she knew without a doubt that she would have seen him eventually.

He'd won her heart fair and square.

She loved him. She believed in him. In them. They were destined to be together. He was her True Love. She was sure of that.

New determination flowed through her and she swirled around to Neal, her voice strong and sure as she said, "All right, I'll give it another try."

This time she found him at his house and she stepped into the kitchen without knocking after she'd spied him through the window. The unexpected opening of the door clearly startled him, his eyes wide in surprise for a second before an indifferent mask fell over his expression. It shot a sharp jab of pain through her heart to see no warmth in his eyes but she wouldn't let the doubts creep back in.

You just have to believe.

"Killian, I love you," she blurted out before she could talk herself out of it. "I love you so much that it scares me half to death. I know I pushed you away, but I didn't mean it. I didn't want you to have to choose. Between me and your faith." She paused, needing to take in a deep breath. He still hadn't moved. He didn't give her any reaction whatsoever to her words, but she wasn't finished yet. She would not give up the fight so easily. "I might not need you in my life. But I want you. I want to share the rest of my life with you. You're it. The love of my life. My only…" Her voice wobbled, tears welling up in her eyes as she whispered the next words, "My true love."

There, she'd said it out loud. Faced all her fears head on. Let herself fall. Not that she thought that just saying it would lift the curse.

"Emma, I…" For the first time his mask cracked, showing her a glimpse of the pain he felt, too. A flicker of hope lit up in her chest, just to be snuffed out with his next words. "We talked about this. We wouldn't last. Staying together would just end in more heartache."

"God damn it, pirate," she cursed, grabbing the lapels of his shirt and yanking him forward. "I need you to remember. You wanted my goddamn heart and now it belongs to you. So you need to kiss me and mean it."

"Pirate? What are you talking…"

"Not important right now," she snapped, cutting him off before she'd told him everything. She could imagine the outcome. He'd probably call the guys with the white shoes and straightjackets to cart her off to the next loony bin. A hysterical laughter got caught in her throat and unwanted tears pricked the back of her eyes. "Just for once, forget about your profession." The hysterical laughter she didn't want to let out tickled the back of her throat again. "Tell me the truth." Her voice wavered, but she forced herself to just push the words out, no matter how much his answer might hurt. "Do you love me?"

He didn't say anything for a very long time and the last strands of hope she'd had about still being able to save the town crumbled to dust with each passing second. But then his face softened, his eyes warming up with the love he'd shown her over the last weeks and she gripped his shirt even tighter, her hold on him the only thing that kept her upright right now.

"Yes, I love you. God help me, I love you." His hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip, his eyes so full of love that she had to gulp down the tears that threatened to fall. "I love you more than you can imagine."

"Then show me."

She kissed him then, crashing her lips on his and devouring his mouth like she had in Neverland. This time he reciprocated the kiss with the same fervor, one of his arms circling her waist and pulling her close, his cock thickening against her stomach as he deepened the kiss. For a split second, she thought it still wouldn't work. But then a prickling sensation started at her toes and crept upwards until it reached her lips and then magic exploded out of her and washed over them, knocking them apart.

She stumbled into the counter, hitting her hip hard. But she didn't even really feel the pain, fixated on his face, waiting for him to say something. And then he did and the one word out of his mouth brought tears to her eyes.

"Swan?"

Her heart fluttered in her chest as she looked at him, searching his face for any sign of recognition. He looked totally dumbfounded, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed hard. She might have felt the magic rushing through her but she was still not entirely sure it had worked. But then he changed in front of her. She couldn't describe it any better. The changes weren't big. Just small things she remembered about the pirate she met in the Enchanted Forest. The way he straightened his shoulders, the way he suddenly seemed to stand taller. His eyes crinkled at the corners as his mouth curled up into the smirk she hadn't seen in weeks. She couldn't put her finger on what exactly made that smirk different. But it was. It was his pirate smirk.

He was back. It had worked.

"Did you miss me?" she asked, aiming for cocky, but instead it came out uncertain as her voice broke on the last word.

"Aye, I did."

Before she could break down, his arms wrapped around her and he hauled her into his embrace. She buried her face in his neck and clutched the shirt at his back, finally letting the tears fall. He just held her close, whispering nonsense in her ear as he rubbed his hand up and down her back. Being back in his arms again was more wonderful than she could have imagined. He wanted her. He loved her.

His lips brushed against her temple, his voice a soothing rumble in her ear, "You were always on my mind, Emma. Even while we were cursed. I dreamt about you and our time in Neverland."

"Me too," she mumbled against his skin, tightening her arms around his waist. But she didn't need to dream about him any longer. The reality was so much better. As much as she wanted to stay in his arms forever, she wouldn't be able to relax completely until she'd made sure that the rest of Storybrooke was okay. Leaning back in his arms, she lifted her hand and cupped his cheek. His mouth curled up in a brilliant smile and she got up on her toes to steal another kiss. Sighing softly, she rocked back on her feet, as ready as she could be to face reality again. "We should go to Granny's. See if everyone has their memories back."

"All right, love." He bent down to press another soft kiss on her lips before letting her go. "Lead the way."

There are two chapters left and since I'll go on vacation for two weeks next Friday I will post the next chapter on the 2nd and the epilogue on the 3rd.

Hope I'll see you then. :-)