December 27th
Location: Pasadena
California
United States Of America
3:24 PM

Howard stared at Leonard in shock and reached for a glass of water. "I'm sorry, but can you repeat that again. I don't think I got that the first time."
"Sheldon and Amy are having a child," Leonard said, flinching in disgust and sharing that look with Penny upon Howard intentionally doing a spit take. "Ugh, Howard, was that really necessary?"

"Oh, and the idea of the two weirdest people we know procreating isn't concerning?" Howard replied. "I thought that me becoming a father was weird, no matter how excited I was, I thought you and Penny having a kid was weird –"

"How is us having Kenzie weird?" Penny scowled at him as she rocked her daughter in her arms. "Well?"

"I thought for sure that you and Leonard would get divorced and never have kids," Howard said, only to receive a smack to the back of the head from Bernadette. "Bernie, why –"

"Nope," She said almost haughtily. "Don't be a dick."

"I'm not being a –" Howard paused off her look. "Alright, listen, is it not at least a little terrifying to consider the fact that Sheldon and Amy are going to have a child?"

"I think so," Raj remarked, finally looking up from his phone. "Missy agrees, although she says she always thought Sheldon had no sexuality."

"I'm pretty sure that was disproven a few years ago," Bernadette said, feigning a cough for a few seconds. "As he outright informed both me and Penny that Amy's birthday gift would be his genitals."

Leonard recoiled. "Ugh, gross, I didn't need to know that."

"Neither did we," Penny said darkly. "And yet we do."

"And I really didn't need to know it that time Sheldon informed me that Amy had told him that his genitals were a joy to behold," Leonard added, primarily for good measure but also to see the disgusted looks all of them were giving him. "What? It's not like Howard wasn't once a total pervert."

Howard glared. "That's not funny."

"No, it's very funny," Penny said giggling. "You know, since –"

"All my friends," Sheldon chorused through the door as he knocked. "All my friends. All my friends."

Penny rolled her eyes as she leaned back a little in the chair. "Come in Sheldon."

He opened the door a bit hesitantly. "Oh, I never thought I'd say this but Wolowitz: thank god that you're here!"

Howard raised an eyebrow as he stepped into the room. "Oh, what alien has implanted its technology in your head, Sheldon."

Sheldon's brow furrowed in confusion. "What alien specimen would have any desire to implant advanced technology into my head?"

Bernadette punched her husband's shoulder and smiled at him. "Leonard and Penny told us the news, congratulations, Sheldon."

Sheldon looked at his hands awkwardly. "Oh, right, of course, thank you. Amy's rather happy about all of this, although she's been having a rough time with some of the common aspects of pregnancy."

"Morning sickness hitting her hard?" Penny asked, and Sheldon sighed. "I'll take that as a yes."

"I suppose that is the most simple way to describe it," He said. "Good job, Penny, it seems that the intellectual and emotional advancement that goes along with procreation has done its holy work on you."

Penny stared at him but then shook her head. "Oh, what the hell. Sure, Sheldon, that's exactly what has happened."

"You are holding a little human that is of your DNA and Leonard's," Sheldon pointed out, and she forced herself not to groan. "So, yes, that is exactly what happened."

"I think she was being sarcastic," Raj bit off, and Sheldon blinked. "What?"

"So the man who thinks my sister's…lady parts are a source of joy thinks that he needs to inform me of the obvious," Sheldon said, crossing his arms. "Also, get out of my spot."

Raj shook his head as he sat down on the floor. "Of course. Like always, Sheldon dominates everything."

"I do not dominate everything," Sheldon replied as he made himself comfortable in his spot. "I merely aid in enlightenment and –"
"Sheldon, why the hell were you so happy to see me?" Howard stared at the man incredulously. "Is it because you're scared of having a child?"

Sheldon looked taken aback. "I beg your pardon?"

"Sheldon, if you weren't scared you would have asked to talk to Leonard about something like that," Howard countered. "And since Raj has no understanding of the subject and couldn't speak to women for his twenties, you'd never beg the question with him."

Sheldon looked down, almost in shame. "For the rare occasion, Howard, you're right. I am scared."

"Oh, that's normal," Bernadette said, giving him a sympathetic look. "Don't you remember how scared Howie was when he found out I was pregnant with Hallie and Michael?"

"Well, I…" Sheldon sighed heavily. "I always thought that I was…above emotions, and especially those like fear and now that I…I thought that having a child with Amy would be a good way to move forward, but now that it's actually happening I'm terrified. I don't want to be like my own father, and I don't want to be a bad father."

"Sheldon Lee Cooper, you are one of the smartest men in the world," Leonard said in what sounded almost like exasperation. "For the love of god, you'll figure it out!"

"Figure what out?" Amy asked as she stepped into the room. "How to stop having a bathroom schedule because our kid is never going to be able to adhere to one?"

Sheldon groaned. "Anyone can learn to adhere to a bathroom schedule with enough practice and regulation, even a young child."

Penny shared a glance with Amy and then spoke.

"Well," Penny said as Amy sat down. "It turns out that Sheldon is scared because you two are having a kid."

Amy looked to him in surprise. "You're scared?"

Sheldon scowled at Penny for a moment but then sighed. "Yes, Amy, I'm scared."

She embraced him although released him quickly when he flinched. "It's going to be okay. To be honest, I'm scared to. But that's normal for humans when major changes occur, and we're going to be okay. Besides, our child is going to get to be friends with Hallie, Michael, and Kenzie at the very least."

"Yes, I know," Sheldon said. "But I'm not sure how much that alleviates my worries."

"Time will," She said, kissing his cheek. "I promise."

"Aww…" Penny said as she took Leonard's hand in hers and squeezed it. "Sheldon, Amy…"

"And you know something, bestie?" Amy smiled as she looked to her. "You and I will be able to breastfeed each other's children!"

Penny recoiled a bit, uncomfortable and disgusted by the idea. "Um…"

"No thank you, Amy," Leonard said, and Penny sent him a grateful look. "We're trying to get Kenzie to eat solid foods soon anyways."

She shrugged. "My offer will always remain open."

"And mine closed," Penny said quickly. "So, so, so closed."