December 31st
Location: Pasadena
California
United States Of America
6:13 AM

"Leonard and Penny," Sheldon knocked a bit quieter than usual although his voice still carried through their apartment. "Leonard and Penny. Leonard and Penny."

Penny all but ripped the door open, her robe open, to show her sweatpants, and tank top. Her hair was a mess, and she looked exhausted.

"What?" She snapped, setting her hands to her hips. "Do you have any idea what time it is? What's wrong with you?"

Sheldon stiffened his back and sighed. "There is nothing wrong with me, and, if I am not mistaken, it is just past six in the morning at nearly the first quarter of the hour."

She scowled. "You could have woken up Kenzie."

"Actually, that's unlikely," He said as he stepped into the apartment and quietly shut the door. "Considering that young children, such as your daughter, are almost exclusively sensitive to higher pitched sounds, such as your singing or your voice. Part of that is because they seek the comfort of the mother."

Even with her annoyance, Penny couldn't help but smile.

"That's a sweet way to think of it," She said. "My daughter being genetically predisposed to seeking my comfort – why the hell do I know that?"

"Because you're married to me and we both used to live with Sheldon," Leonard said with a yawn, sleepily stumbling into the room. "And almost all of your friends are geniuses."

Sheldon smiled and glanced at his feet. "Yes, I suppose we are."

"So," Penny said, turning back to him. "How are you doing, taking care of the mother of your 'benign overlord to' –"

"'Guide humanity to a better tomorrow'," Leonard finished with a slight smirk. "Well?"

Sheldon grimaced. "Well, Amy has been spending quite a bit of time puking, and she gave me quite a disturbing story about her supposedly tilted uterus and almost unnaturally firm cervix –"

"Ew," Penny said, grimacing as she reached for the espresso packets. "I'm going to need coffee if you intend to continue."

"As I do," Sheldon said. "Although I don't see how coffee will help you handle the nature of anything I may tell you. If you wish to not remember, you could always call on your friend from the vine."

She sent him a funny look. "My friend from the what?"

"He means wine," Leonard said, and Penny scowled at Sheldon. "Hey, buddy?" Leonard said off his wife's look. "That wasn't very nice."

Sheldon considered that and then turned to Penny. "Penny," He said with shocking sincerity. "I'm sorry if I offended you."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Thank you, Sheldon."

"Yes, of course," He said a bit awkwardly. "I am a naturally pleasant person, aren't I?"

Penny rolled her eyes, but then smiled. "Yes, sure, Sheldon. Now, what is it?"

"You two are both aware that my child could be one of the smartest in the world, right?" Sheldon barely waited a few seconds before going on. "Well, it seems that I did not account for the fact that it could destroy both me and Amy."

"Define destroy," Leonard said, warring between being amused and concerned.

"Well, the literal definition of course," He said, then glancing away. "But then I'm also concerned it could destroy our relationship."

Penny scoffed. "Oh, please, having a child is not going to destroy your relationship with Amy."

"Having two children caused Bernadette to make Wolowitz get a painful vasectomy that could have ended in him sitting on top of his mutilated genitals," Sheldon said, causing both of his friends to grimace. "My apologies, I forgot about your sensitivities."

"Listen, Sheldon," Leonard said, sounding surprisingly sympathetic towards his former roommate. "I get it, having a family no matter how much you want it is scary but it's going to be fine. Penny and I have done fine, and I'm sure you and Amy will too. Just don't let your overlord child go overlording anywhere near us."

Sheldon nodded once as Leonard left the room upon hearing Kenzie start crying. "I will not let my overlord child go overlording near either of you."

"Thank you," Penny said with a smile. "Now, what else do you want to know?"

"Well…" Sheldon said, slipping into deep thought for a moment. "How long do you think it will be before the baby will be able to eat normal food rather than suckle from Amy's ample bosom?"

Penny grimaced, setting down her coffee mug uncomfortably. "Sheldon, my daughter still breastfeeds, so yours will be around this time too. It's best to do it as long as possible, you know, which can be for up to three or four years."

Sheldon looked almost sick. "Oh god."

"I grew up on a farm, I've seen pigs give birth," Penny informed him, and Sheldon's face contorted in disgust. "Oh, come on! You're a grown man, you can handle your wife's pregnancy and raising your child."

Sheldon sighed. "I suppose…but that doesn't reduce the nerves I feel."

"I have an idea that might help," Leonard said, stepping back into the room with his daughter in his arms. "And I just changed her diaper, so she's perfectly clean."

Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about, Leonard?"

"Why don't you sit down in your spot and hold Kenzie?" Leonard said, and Penny sent him a sharp look. "Penny, he's not going to hurt her."

"I don't know how I feel about that…" Sheldon said slowly although he did sit down in his spot. "Young children are cornucopias of any sort of bacteria that in the right concentrations could be turned into a bioweapon or could cause an infectious disease or could transmit a virus – all three of which could result in death."

"For god's sake, Sheldon, my daughter doesn't have the plague!" Penny exclaimed in exasperation, smacking her forehead to prove her point. "Just hold her for a moment."

Sheldon hesitantly poked at Kenzie's arm upon Leonard stepping over to him with the little girl in his arms. "Hello. You can't speak or at least with coherence, can you?"

Kenzie giggled.

"Support her back and head," Leonard instructed him, and Sheldon tentatively did so. "Once you've got one arm securely under her back, you can let her tug at your fingers or you can tickle her."

Sheldon stared at him with wide eyes, then looked to Penny. "Your daughter looks a lot like you. Hopefully she'll be taller than Leonard."

Penny laughed. "I hope that too."

"I know your daddy is a homunculus and your mommy is a failed actress turned pharmaceutical sales representative," Sheldon said to Kenzie as he brought her a bit closer in his arms. "But you're a very cute, albeit small and young human being with the potential to be reasonably intelligent, perhaps even achieve a doctorate. Do not squander your opportunities."

Kenzie gave him a confused, bright eyed stare.

"You don't understand yet," Sheldon sighed. "But you can trust your parents with your life, I know…I know that I have before. Leonard especially, even in spite of his need for positive reinforcement and Penny's off key, country music caterwauling."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Thank you, Sheldon."

"You could have a bright future," Sheldon said, looking seriously at Kenzie. "But only if you don't waste it, only if you keep moving forward, and only if you never stop questioning the world."