Sakura thought at first that Shikamaru was talking about her team, back from rearranging the training ground once again, but then she caught a glimpse of a couple in the crowd – a man with black hair and a girl on his arm. She was young, curvy, pretty, with long, dark hair and a wide, white smile that she was directing exclusively toward her companion.

Sakura was frightened for a minute. Not jealous, not angry, not embarrassed – frightened. Almost in panic. And it had nothing to do with the girl.

God, what an awful marriage that would have been, she thought suddenly. I see him on the street when I didn't expect him, and I'm not sad or happy or excited or anything. I'm scared.

She looked up at Shikamaru and felt power and strength and warmth pour back into her. He was watching the other couple, too, his eyes narrowed, his face registering distaste.

He would stand by me, no matter what, even if he wasn't sure I loved him.

She smiled up at him, her heart full of love and wonder.

Shikamaru smiled back at her, a surprised, grateful smile.

He still thinks I might be grieving for Sasuke. Shika. My darling. Stupid, jealous oaf. Of course, when I fell in love with Shikamaru, I didn't have to watch a bitch parading on his arm. I'd be jealous, too. My poor, sweet boy.

"She looks a bit like you, the way you used to be," Shikamaru murmured.

"Huh?"

Sakura's eyes flashed back at her ex and That Woman.

What was Shikamaru playing at? The girl couldn't differ more from her even if she wore a wig, braces and a pink tutu, Sakura thought. Sasuke's new lover was petite and tanned and dark-haired and her face was round and her eyes blue.

"Sakura."

The dry voice could only belong to one person on this planet.

Sasuke was standing a few steps away from her, watching her with his usual cold, arrogant look.

He's beautiful. Not handsome or cute, but really beautiful.

She waited for that little pang around her heart but there was nothing.

"Oh, hello, Sasuke. Nice day, isn't it?" Sakura said, slightly nervous. She looked at Shikamaru who nodded curtly toward Sasuke and That Woman, and Sasuke nodded back.

This was one of those uncomfortable situations where short minutes felt like hours. A short, embarrassing silence followed, then Shikamaru, perceptive as usual, tactfully stepped aside to let the other couple pass.

There. It's over. Now we can go.

"Sasuke-kuuuun, won't you introduce me to your friends?"

It was That Woman, smiling around smugly.

Sasuke grunted and pretended not to hear her.

Sakura felt her teeth on edge. It was the voice.

God forgive me, Shikamaru hit the bull's eye again. She sounds like me on a bad day when I was twelve. Oh dear.

She felt an almost irresistible urge to laugh. It was terrible. She'd always thought that she would be awfully unhappy and embarrassed, once Sasuke started to go around the village with his new girlfriend, but now she only felt a tickling in her throat. Oh, that voice! That look! It was true, all one's sins came back to haunt one when one least counted on it. And the look on Sasuke's face! He was watching Shikamaru with a suspicious look when he heard his new squeeze open her mouth and for one moment there was sheer terror on that handsome face. Sakura instantly felt sorry for him. He was like Sai, meddling around with people as if he had an idea what relationships meant.

Shikamaru gave a tiny snort and as Sakura looked at him, she saw that he, too, was trying not to laugh.

Sasuke-kun? Friends?

She must know who I am, Sakura thought. I didn't get a good look at her at the time of The Incident, not that I wanted to anyway, but she must have seen me. And there are photographs of Sasuke and me together in his living room. It's not as if there were hundreds of girls in Konoha with pink hair.

Was this woman completely brainless? Or maybe she'd had a sunstroke or something? The weather was really unusually sunny for the season.

"I know this must seem a little strange, but I really, really wanted to talk to you..."

And look at the monkey! It talks! It talks! Sakura thought and bit her tongue which made her eyes water. Why on earth would she want to talk to me? Why? And right here, on the street?

Shikamaru made a funny little noise. She looked at him and saw him concentrating hard on a very interesting part of the wall next to them.

She felt the corners of her mouth curl up and said under her breath, "You're not helping."

Shikamaru flashed an amused look at her. It was clear what he meant – 'just you wait, there's more to come'.

And he was right.

The woman, ignoring Sasuke's meaningful looks, said to Sakura, "I know that we've only met once before, fleetingly…"

Sakura's jaw hit the floor.

Fleetingly? My boyfriend was fucking you on the floor when I entered the room! I only saw your naked ass, for God's sake! I didn't even know you had a face!

"…but I'm glad that now everything's cleared up and we both know where we stand. You'll see how happy he'll be with me, and I hope you won't resent it, because you and Sasuke-kun really weren't very good together, were you?"

Sakura closed her mouth. It took some conscious effort on her part. She had imagined meeting That Woman several times and in different circumstances, and while one part of her loathed the very idea, some other – although smaller - part was definitely curious.

This smaller part must have been the one with the suicidal tendencies and the morbid curiosity for experiments with poisons, spiders, sharks, blood and the breeding of pugs, she decided now.

Note to self: never ever listen again to this part of me, generally known as "Let's See What Happens If I Push This Red Button With The 'Don't EVER Touch' Sign Next To It."

"I mean, I hope you won't take offense, but you're something of a workaholic, aren't you? You didn't have a lot of time for him. So I thought that you wouldn't really mind what happened. We could even be friends, you know."

Sakura and Shikamaru stared at each other for a second, then Sakura hurriedly looked away again, but not before she saw the evil smile on Shikamaru's face.

He cleared his throat.

"That's a very… interesting idea," he said in a muffled voice.

The traitor, Sakura thought, helplessly trying to fight another hysterical bout of laughter. He's going to play along, just to see if this girl makes a fool of Sasuke, too, not only of herself.

Then she looked at Sasuke, standing there with his hands in his pockets, his black eyes bored. It was probably just a ruse but Sakura suddenly felt a lot less amused and a lot more angry.

If Shikamaru hadn't come along, I'd still be licking my wounds and wondering whether it was all my fault in some way and worrying how Sasuke would cope. God, if he's adult enough to cheat on me, he can't expect me to get him out of this mess as if I were his mother!

She said firmly but politely, "Excuse me, but I don't think that's such a great idea. Sasuke and I are teammates so I wish you all the best, but I choose my friends myself. Sleeping with someone I know does not guarantee a club membership. Anyway, I don't think we have such a lot in common beside using the same man for a short while."

Shikamaru emitted a short sound that was half snicker, half grunt.

Sasuke looked at him and his eyes were dangerously cold.

Shikamaru looked back, a lazy, insolent smile on his face and he pulled Sakura closer to him. Sakura knew that goading Sasuke wasn't a very wise thing, but she couldn't help melting just a little into Shikamaru's embrace. By the way, Sasuke already had his chance and messed it up. It was over anyway, wasn't that what he said?

If Sasuke tries anything violent, I won't stand aside. I can't put an end to their pissing contest, that's hopeless, but if Sasuke makes just one wrong move, he'll regret it. He might be stronger than Shikamaru but I'm stronger than him and I'll pummel him into the pavement!

She raised her chin and looked at Sasuke, then at the girl that she used to think of as That Woman, sometimes as That Whore. She wasn't much older than Sakura was, maybe even younger. Until now Sakura, for some reason, always thought of her as someone older, someone more refined and sophisticated and experienced than she was. It was hard to get rid of that image and replace it with this – pretty, young, a nice body, but nothing special. Her breasts were certainly a lot bigger than Sakura's, but that was all.

The girl, however, was not watching the exchange of looks between Sasuke and Shikamaru, and right now she wasn't that interested in Sakura, either. Her whole attention was absorbed by the shining golden shopping bags in Sakura's hands that bore the shop's logo, a stylized ninjato and an iris in full bloom entwined around it.

There was pure hate on her face when she raised her eyes again.

"Oh, so you don't want to be friends because you think you're so much better than me," she hissed. "And you already got yourself another man who buys you things, didn't you? You didn't miss a beat! You don't deserve Sasuke-kun! I was sorry for you, but now I'm not!"

This was the ultimate joke. It was too funny for words.

God, she thinks I'm a kept woman. A femme fatale. The Scarlet Woman herself.

Inner was hooting with laughter.

Sakura, I congratulate you. Yesterday you were an overworked medic nin with a wide forehead and exactly five dresses in your closet and frosty sheets galore, as Shikamaru pointed out. Today you are the Evil Enchantress. Way to go, girl! Yee-haw!

"What can I say, I'm a fast worker," Sakura said with saccharine sweetness and fluttered her eyelashes.

If it worked once, it might work again.

Shikamaru turned his head the other way and his shoulders were slightly shaking.

Sasuke, it seemed, was still trying to figure out what could have happened in the last few days that produced this result and whether it would mean good or bad for him in the long run. He stood straight, unmoving, not caring that his ex-girlfriend and his new lover were glaring at each other, all pretense of friendliness gone, and that Shikamaru was instantly on guard, looking for the first signs of real trouble. Sasuke couldn't be bothered.

How typical, Sakura thought.

She sighed. She felt suddenly tired. The girl obviously thought that Sasuke was about the best thing that could ever happen to her. Her point of view was somewhat faulty, her loyalty misplaced, but it was still loyalty. She was seriously smitten with Sasuke, so consequently she was sure he must be faultless, and everything was his ex-girlfriend's fault.

There were people milling around them, slowing down and craning their necks to see better. Scandal! Gossip! Isn't it a shame! Sasuke and Shikamaru were both well-known in Konoha – if for nothing else, at least because of their clans -, and Sakura's was a familiar face due to her hospital job. None of them needed this kind of attention.

Time to return to Adult World where people have not only feelings, but social obligations, considerations and manners, too, Sakura thought.

"Look, I…"

That Woman cut in and, of all things to do, she turned to Shikamaru.

"I know who you are," she said.

"Good for you," Shikamaru said politely.

"Have you slept with her yet?" the girl asked.

Shikamaru and Sakura looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

"Because she's totally frigid," the girl said triumphantly. "You'll never get your money's worth."

"Nice of you to worry about me, but…" Shikamaru began in a voice that was so clearly in sharp contrast with the words themselves that anybody with a grain of common sense would have considered it a warning, but the girl overrode him and said, "That's why I was willing to sleep with Sasuke, poor baby. He told me that his girlfriend was awful in bed!"

Sakura and Shikamaru caught each other's eyes. It was Shikamaru who started to laugh first but Sakura joined in a second later and then they were both roaring with laughter. It took almost a full moment until they could breathe again and Shikamaru helplessly shook his head, and said, "I'm sorry, really. She could have mentioned any other piece of furniture…"

"Like what?" Sakura asked in a strangled voice. "The sofa? The kitchen table? A cupboard?"

"Any of them could be interesting," Shikamaru said.

He looked at Sakura again and it was clear he was thinking about her broken bed.

"My, oh my," he said and cleared his throat.

Sakura was trying to wipe her eyes on a tissue without wiping the last of her eyeliner off with it, too.

It must have been the tension, she thought. I was ready for a total showdown... and this was her best shot? I mean, how low can she go? God, this is a farce. How could this happen?

"Where's your cool, Shikamaru?" she asked, unable to erase the grin from her face.

"I left it on a rooftop this afternoon, north – northeast from here," Shikamaru said in an even voice. "I'd better pick it up on my way home or they won't let me into the restaurant."

Sakura laughed and had to grab his arm to be able to stand properly.

"Stop it," she said. "My belly hurts."

"My poor dear," Shikamaru purred. "Let me kiss it better."

The girl's eyes darted from one to the other. Sakura saw that Sasuke did not find any of this funny at all and was watching Shikamaru with a very unpleasant look on his face, but he didn't waste one look on his new lover.

Sakura was almost sorry for the girl – that is, until she opened her mouth again.

"It's true. She's awful in bed," she insisted. "Very selfish. Sasuke told me when we first slept together after Genma's New Year party."

Now this wasn't funny. This wasn't funny at all.

Great, Sakura thought bitterly. Of the four months we dated, more than two I spent in parallel parking. With this girl. And I never even knew until now.

"But Sasuke was already dating me then," she said in a small voice. She added hesitatingly, "He even gave me a New Year's gift."

Shikamaru was immobile as a statue, his eyes suddenly cold as the wind but he didn't speak.

Sakura felt a momentary grateful relief that he didn't jump to her rescue and let her decide instead what she wanted to do.

She turned to Sasuke.

"So it didn't happen just the once? You've been cheating on me for months?"

It hurt. It still hurt. It hurt like hell. She had no idea why but it did.

If it had happened just once, then that wasn't a very good thing either, but it would have been more... understandable, somehow. Things like that happened sometimes – a relationship ended and another one began, sooner than it was wise or acceptable or fair to the other person, but in retrospect it wasn't really surprising that it happened at all.

This was something else.

She could try to explain and rationalize and understand what happened between them but this was humiliating.

Sasuke didn't try to give any kind of explanation, he just grunted once.

"Hn."

It was the sound he universally used to express all kinds of things from disdain to sullen agreement. He briefly looked at Sakura, then turned his head the other way.

It was so strange, Sakura thought. She could forgive Sasuke the attack on Konoha and all the heartbreak he caused, even her physical wounds. But petty, smallminded, selfish behaviour like this... That jerk!

Sakura turned her head slowly toward Sasuke and her eyes were glowing with a fiery light, then she slowly cracked her knuckles.

You little shit. We'll talk about this later. No, I think we might talk about this right now, shall we?

Sasuke seemed to get the message without any further input from actual spoken words because one minute he was standing there and the next minute he was trying to disappear unobtrusively in the crowd.

Nice try, that was Sakura's first thought.

The second thought was, Uh-oh. A crowd. Hell.

It wasn't just people walking on the street any more. It was a crowd.

Even in a hidden village, a crowd was always ready to have fun one way or another. It hardly ever turned into a mob – every shinobi village was too controlled, too ordered for that. But where Sasuke was concerned... Everybody accepted the Hokage's decision that let Sasuke become a citizen of Konoha again, but not all of them were overjoyed, to say the least.

Even putting the most unpleasant possiblities aside, Sakura did not exactly relish the thought that instead of discussing everything privately they were well in the process of providing local entertainment for free.

Sasuke would pay for this dearly, she decided, but there were too many people here. Not that she wanted to spare Sasuke the humiliation – oh no. But tearing up the street while she merrily knocked Sasuke around might result in innocent casualties.

She looked at That Woman who glared back at her. Sakura was now only interested in whether she had a shinobi headband – that meant she could take care of herself if she needed to. There. On her belt. Good. One less problem to deal with.

Before she could have decided what to do, there was the sound of an almighty crash and as Sakura searched for the source of the sound she saw Sasuke dangling like a kitten from a big woman's hands. She wasn't a giant but she was one of those matrons that no one ever tried any funny business with and stayed alive to tell the tale.

She had iron-grey hair in a bun, tiny dark eyes, a sour mouth and arms like a washerwoman's. There was a shinobi headband hanging around her neck.

Sasuke probably crashed into her as he was trying to scarper and she wasn't going to tolerate such behaviour from a young whippersnapper, Uchiha or not.

The woman was walking back toward Sakura, pulling Sasuke with her. The crowd opened in front of her and closed again behind her when she passed with her heavy steps.

"I've heard enough. You're not going anywhere, you bastard!" the woman screamed at Sasuke. "Cheating on a sweet girl like Sakura-san! I don't believe a word this hussy said! Sakura-san's not selfish and never was! She treated my grandson's broken leg last summer, and I tell you, nobody could have done it better! She even stayed on duty for another hour after her shift ended, just to make sure my grandson was all right!"

She shook Sasuke to emphasize her point.

Sakura, for some obscure reason, knew which case the woman meant. She remembered the grandson with the broken leg (it was a complicated fracture all right, a shattered lower tibia and a fractured fibula, poor boy), but she didn't remember this old woman. Sakura was sure the woman meant well, but discussing her private life like this...

"Yes!" another woman shouted. "I agree with you, Grandma! And to say that this young man paid her to sleep with him! Ridiculous! He's a Nara, everybody can see that! When did a Nara man ever have to pay a woman to sleep with him, I ask you!"

"Naras never have to pay because they are pussy-whipped!" a young man said in a mocking voice. "Everybody knows they love to be treated like shit and women like that a lot!"

"Oh, you'd love to be pussy-whipped, too, but where's that pussy, boyo?" a woman shouted back.

"Oh boy," Shikamaru murmured. "This just gets better and better."

"I'd sleep with a Nara any day!" a nearly toothless old woman said. She winked at Shikamaru. "If she doesn't treat you well, hon, come back and I'll show you a good time!"

"Sonny, if you need a woman, I'll sleep with you any time, too, no payment needed!" shouted a middle-aged woman from a window.

There was general laughter.

"You'd sleep with anyone, not only a Nara!" That was a man in the crowd. "You'd sleep with cheater boy here, too!"

Good, maybe not everyone recognized Sasuke yet, Sakura thought. Thank God he isn't wearing his usual training clothes with the fan.

"I'd never sleep with you, old man!" the woman shouted back.

"Too bad, so I'll have to ask this hussy! She was willing to get her claws into someone else's man, so she must be desperate! She surely won't refuse me!"

"This could get ugly," Sakura said to Shikamaru with a worried look.

Shikamaru held her closer. "Don't worry," he whispered. "They are just having a bit of fun at our expense. Nothing really dangerous."

But it wasn't over yet.

"You don't understand! You have no idea!"

It was That Girl.

"Just shut up," Shikamaru advised her.

"No!" she said, turning to the woman who still held Sasuke in an iron grip. "I love Sasuke! We are in love!"

The woman let Sasuke go with a push.

"You think he's going to treat you better than he treated his previous girlfriend? Silly girl!"

"I love him! And he loves me, too!" the girl said defiantly. "He's going to marry me!"

"Well, that's news to me," Sakura said, amazed.

"Looks like it was news to Uchiha, too," Shikamaru commented drily.

"Why?" Sakura asked.

Shikamaru pointed his chin toward the street.

"Because there he is, running toward the horizon and gaining speed."

He was right. Sasuke, free at last, was only a dot at the end of the street.

"Hurry up, hussy!" one of the men roared. "Catch your man or no wedding for you!"

The girl was already running and screaming, "Sasuke! Sasuke! Wait for me!"

Sakura shivered.

I hope I was never exactly like this. I really hope not.

"Ooooh, how he can run!" someone in the crowd said and several people agreed, then someone said, "Yes – just like I always say to my wife, Konoha will always be safe while we've got shinobi who can run this fast!"

Laughter.

"You're not running anywhere, Nara?" a mocking voice asked.

Shikamaru didn't even turn back to see who it was.

"I think I'll just take my girlfriend home," he said calmly. "I don't think it's a good thing to learn like this that your ex-boyfriend was cheating on you for months, don't you think so?"

There was a general murmur of agreement and the crowd started to disperse slowly, discussing the exciting turn of events they'd been eyewitnesses to and making bets on the outcome, but it was all happening too slowly for Shikamaru. Drama in public was, obviously, not his thing.

"Enough is enough," he murmured.

Sakura opened her mouth but before she could utter one word, she was already in Shikamaru's arms with all her bags and boxes and he was running over the rooftops.

"You abducted me!" Sakura complained. "I can walk!"

"Yes, I did, and yes, you could but you won't. I've got things to do before I come back and pick you up and you, too, and we can't waste any more time running into your exes. Troublesome woman."

"Me? Things to do? Like what? And I'm not troublesome!" Sakura said and put her head on Shikamaru's chest. She couldn't quite remember the last time when she'd been carried like this without being seriously wounded.

"Like unpacking all the shopping bags and marveling over my generosity and then having a cup of tea and thinking about what you're going to say to Naruto, because this little clash of opinions about infidelity as such will be around the village in no time, and it's sure as hell not my mess so you have to figure out how to deal with your team. If you wish, I can come over and hold them immobile with my shadows till you find out what to say, but that's about the maximum."

"And what is it that you have to do?" Sakura asked, glad to have something on her mind other than the confrontation with Sasuke and his new... girl. Oh, bride. Whatever.

She knew she would have to talk to Naruto, as soon as possible. Kakashi, too.

"Change my clothes before our date, for one. If you're wearing a Misaki dress, I'll have to wear something else instead of a jounin outfit. My mother is going to have a heart attack. The last time I was willing to wear a shirt and normal trousers was when I was five and one of my father's cousins got married. I hope I remember how to button up a shirt."

Sakura was willing to take a bet that the shirt would be partly unbuttoned and the tie would be loose and the suit, if he had one at all, would be full of creases and he would still look delicious.

"Stop licking your lips like that. I can't run properly if all my blood is suddenly pouring southward," Shikamaru complained.

"I'd like to lick something else but I'm in the wrong position," Sakura said innocently.

"Whoa! I'd better get some extra pieces of furniture you can break when we go back to my place - just in case you feel like it. What would you like? A table? A chair? A cupboard? I happen to have a shogi table, very nice craftmanship, made of several kinds of tropical wood – would that be suitable?"

"It may do," Sakura said serenely. "Could you please pick up that magazine, the Sexy Shinobi special edition from Ino on your way home? Tell her I need it and will give it back in a few days."

"Oh, the one with the article on the famous ten ways?"

"Yes, that's the one. I'll need something to cheer me up after I told my team everything. And I'll need the magazine because I don't remember all the positions and Ino said there were some illustrations, too. Those may come in handy."

"No doubt. No doubt at all. I'm always ready to learn something new."

"Shishou gave a speech at the hospital fundraiser last year," Sakura said. "The subject was life-long learning, but I can't remember if she mentioned this subject in particular."

"Oh, she probably did," Shikamaru said, grinning. "But you know how you and I usually spend these parties - you making sure that the Hokage doesn't drink more than she could handle and overseeing the menu and everything, and me, giving an extra hand to security. We probably missed this part."

"Probably. Maybe we should write her speech this year."

"There's an idea, sweetheart. It might be fun. Well, here we are."

Shikamaru jumped down from the rooftop to a balcony on the first floor and then to the steps of the house.

"Shall I walk you to your door?" he asked. He carefully put Sakura down and took hold of the bags.

"I've never had a day like this before," Sakura said dreamily and looked up at the sky. "Never. And the funny thing is, for months I'd kept thinking that every day was the same, it was all grey and monotonous and boring and I kept wishing that something would happen."

Shikamaru also raised his face toward the sky. "She had her wish," he said in a warning tone. "You hear me? That was enough. Now we'll be happy with a normal, everyday life, no surprises, no nothing. We'll make it interesting enough for ourselves, thank you very much. With all respect, no further effort from the gods is needed."

Sakura gave a shaky giggle.

"You're funny."

"No, I'm serious. If you can't tell the difference between my funny mode and my serious mode, we're in trouble."

"Maybe you should show me a bit more of what you're like when you're funny," Sakura said. "I mostly saw you serious."

"Fine, fine. I'll walk you up the stairs."

"I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard," Sakura said while they climbed the stairs, hand in hand. "I was hurt and angry and surprised, but on the whole it was still funny. Embarrassing, too. Poor girl."

Shikamaru looked at her lovingly and shook his head, then started to chuckle.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," Shikamaru said and wiped his eyes on his sleeve, still grinning.

They stopped in front of Sakura's apartment.

"Here we are," he said. "One girl, loved truly, madly, deeply by her boyfriend. One door, slightly battered. All that is left for now is for one to go through the other. Be careful, door, don't try it the other way around."

"I want to know why you were laughing," Sakura said stubbornly. "I'm not going in until that."

She held on to Shikamaru's vest with both hands to show that she meant it.

Shikamaru gave her a kiss, a loud smack on the lips.

"I just remembered the last time I had a good laugh. But that is a story strictly for adults over eighteen."

"I'm over eighteen. And anyway, you're not that much older than me."

"I'm a thousand years older than you."

Sakura snorted.

"I remember when I first met you. We already discussed that. You and Ino were six months older than me, and age differences don't change."

"Yes, I remember that, too," Shikamaru said. He grinned. "You had the cutest panties."

"What? How do you know?" Sakura asked.

"I've seen them, of course. Ino's, too," he added smugly. "There were strawberries on your panties and violets on Ino's. Strawberries were waaay cooler than violets, in my opinion."

Sakura, to her complete surprise, felt herself blush deeply. It was insane. She had sex with this man several times, and she planned to have sex with him again soon, preferably every night, but when he was a boy he saw her panties…

"I don't believe a word you say," Sakura mumbled. "You're inventing this story this very minute."

"Did you or did you not have panties with a strawberry pattern when you were about five?" Shikamaru asked. "I want a truthful answer."

"Y-yes. I had a pair like that. But when and how…?"

"Oh, the usual thing. I was lying in the grass on the playground, and you and Ino sat down on the bench next to me. Except you both sat on the back of the bench and put your feet on the seat."

"Yes, I remember that," Sakura said. "That was a very big girl thing to do. Ino and I both felt very grand."

"Well, I pretended to be asleep and…"

"You!"

"Hmm. I take it you never noticed that I wasn't really asleep?"

"You! Why? Why did you want to see my, uh…?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Ever heard of birds and bees, sweetheart? This is what boys do! It's instinctive, like girls saying oooh and aaah when they see a baby – even if they are still kids themselves."

"But…" Sakura began.

"But you are right, of course," Shikamaru said. "There was a trigger event. The day before I overheard my dad and some friends talk about women and sex, and one of the guys said something about licking a girl where she tasted the sweetest. When he came back to the kitchen for ice, I asked this guy where exactly a girl was the sweetest, and he was drunk enough to answer – he said that it was between her legs. I was willing to believe this, since there was this nursery rhyme, you know, that girls are made of sugar and spice…"

Sakura yelped.

Shikamaru chuckled.

"So I was contemplating this new and exciting idea on the playground when you appeared and gave the idea a new twist."

"Huh?"

"You see, Ino and I practically grew up together, and I was always supposed to take care of her because I was one measly day older. The sheer drag of it! Anyway, by the time we were five I had to suck out bee stings and such from her skin several times, and I decided that she wasn't sweet at all. You, on the other hand, who had cotton candy hair and panties with strawberries… well, the only thing I can say is that I spent some very pleasurable time making plans about how I could talk you into taking off your panties and letting me do this very important scientific experiment."

"Paedophile!" Sakura hissed.

Shikamaru laughed so hard he was almost crying.

"Sweetheart, you give a whole new meaning to the term "older man". I was five, remember? Yes, you were four and a half, and I was willing to use all the leverage my age and experience could provide to prey on your innocence, and…"

Sakura couldn't keep her face serious any more and joined in the laughter until she suddenly said, "Oh!" and put both her hands on her face.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"I just remembered something," Sakura said in a tiny voice. "When you said 'older man'…"

She looked up and saw Shikamaru's face change in a second – at first it was a laughing, nice, easygoing young man, and the next minute it was a face carved in stone, the mouth set in a hard line, the eyes like hard pebbles. The face of an elite soldier. An assassin.

"I hope it wasn't…" he began slowly.

Sakura knew at once what he meant. "No," she said softly. "Nothing like that happened to me, love. Don't worry. Nobody ever hurt me like that. No."

His face changed again, the lines softened, the eyes were warm again.

This is what I will have to live with, Sakura thought. This is a part of him. This is his other face.

He knew that she saw it, too. His eyes were searching her face.

Nobody will hurt our children. Nobody will even think of hurting them. Or me, Sakura thought with satisfaction.

She put her arms around Shikamaru's neck.

"I love you," she said and started to laugh again.

"What is it now?" Shikamaru asked.

Sakura giggled. "Well, there's another side to your story, and it's like this. Before Ino introduced me to you, she and I had already discussed some elementary things that constitute the solid base of a friendship between girls. We agreed that we both loved pink, and that Spiderman was yuck with that sticky whatever coming out of his hands, and talked about what toys we had, and such. But Ino had the ultimate trump card. As usual."

"Hmm?"

"She said, 'I have a friend who is a boy. He's only a little older than me, but a lot older than you. And he can pee standing up. I'll ask him to show you, if you want.' "

Shikamaru threw his head back and laughed.

"God, I had no idea you had a fetish like that," he mocked her. "You should have told me. You missed some great moments today."

"Just shut up," Sakura said. "I'll never let you near my underwear drawer. You might just faint with excitement."

They slowly calmed down and just watched one another – that beloved face, the only one in the world, no other like it.

"I have to go," Shikamaru said.

"Yes."

"Is it okay if I pick you up at about half past instead of seven? I might not make it back on the dot."

"Come whenever you want. I'll be waiting. Won't there be a problem at the restaurant?"

Shikamaru shrugged.

"They'll hold our table, if that's what you're thinking about. No problem there."

"All right."

"Between seven and half past, then - I'll have to run like a crazy rabbit all over the village to get back in time, just because you wanted a new dress and then we had to run into Uchiha."

"Oh, you'll probably dress up in about five minutes, and then you'll whine for an hour about how troublesome it all was."

"Exactly. Now open the damn door and get in, or I'll just stand here like an idiot all day."

Sakura obediently opened the door and turned back.

"So that was you in a funny mode."

"Huh? No, that was just a story."

"It wasn't even for an audience over eighteen."

"Oh, that's another story," Shikamaru said.

"Is it, now? Tell me."

"Well, compared to the previous one it is something of an anticlimax."

"I'm waiting. You won't make it back on time if you don't start telling me your story this very minute."

"Fine, fine," Shikamaru sighed. "Troublesome woman. Well, it goes like this. When I was still in ANBU, one day a new squad leader had the daft idea that each ANBU squad should have their own separate batch of T-shirts with their own mottos 'cause that would help them bond or whatever, which only shows that sometimes squad leaders are not chosen for their intelligence. We pointed out to him that ANBU was not very keen on identifying its members in any way, never mind according to squad and division, and even if we wore the T-shirts for R&R in our free time… blah, blah, blah. Then Ibiki, God bless his humourless soul, asked the guy what motto he'd have printed on the T-shirts of the seduction squad. The guy kept thinking and then someone in the back of the room shouted, 'hell, boyo, I've got a good one - WE DO GIVE A FLYING FUCK.' "

Sakura found herself grabbing the door for support, her other hand clutching at her stomach.

Shikamaru smiled at her politely.

"I really have to go now, but if you want a T-shirt like that, I happen to have a spare one."