Title: Humanizing
Description: "It shouldn't come as a surprise that Sylvanas has hobbies, but - surprise! - it does."
Notes1: So in the past few weeks, Fanfiction's had this problem in the system where chapter notifications aren't being sent. I don't know if this has been fixed yet, but I've certainly updated well past March 14 with Chapter 37 and again with this one. I'm still busy with my trial period with my raiding guild (and the new job, which is why there has been a lack of update), but for the time being we're taking a couple weeks off to prepare for the opening of the Tomb of Sargeras.
Notes2: In the meantime, I finished reading Neil Gaiman's "American Gods". I don't follow the show since I was still engrossed in the book at the time. It was a lot more subdued than I expected it to be (very flashy, just like the shounen manga!). I get half my day's reading in while I wait for this toaster of a PC to load in to a match or WoW once it crashes five-six times on the log-in/zone transition screens, so it'll help tremendously while I get back into finishing Stephen King's complete and uncut edition of "The Stand".
Notes3: This chapter takes place shortly after the events of "How Does That Even Work?", and for further spoilers it also references much of the latter half of what that story's plot will entail. As stated in the Chapter 34 notes, you're not missing much other than the bare basics.
Notes4: The timeline document is more or less complete, barring a few missing entries. I'll probably upload it DeviantArt when it is complete so readers can have an easier time navigating the chronology rather than going back to older chapters and piece it from there. Also, I added one of my drawings as the cover art for the time being, as I have another idea in mind that'll be more of a group pic than a solo pic of Sylvanas (that is, unless people would prefer having this over the group pic ideation).

"Lady got doggy?!" a loud, boisterous voice boomed; it was as though Stitches said it right in her ear.

Sylvanas winced and looked up to see the abomination stare at her open-mouthed with all the glee a child could muster. "Yes," she said. "I have a dog. This is Doodle." She nodded at the white-furred puppy. Doodle was busy tugging at the silicon handle of a knotted rope, snarling and digging all four paws into the ground for purchase. He whipped his head back and forth, and Sylvanas' arm whipped back and forth with it. "I adopted him."

"No way in hell," said Orsten, stepping around Stitches to get a better look. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he made a show of leaning down for a better look. His eyes bugged out and his lower lip jutted out at Doodle's ears perking up at his approach, the way his focus swiveled around to meet his, how his black lips curled up in a pink-gummed grin even as his teeth clamped down harder on the toy. "Holy crap. You're an absolute madwoman."

Sylvanas snorted. "What, did my stabbing the Lord of the Storm between the eyes not count?"

"I-It's just that…after everything you've done and how much your, er, illustrious reputation precedes you…I never figured you to be capable of…I didn't think it was possible for you to even feel—"

"Yes, I defied the impossible and did the unthinkable. Fight the power. Go me. Now cease your prattle; you're about to make me capably sick." She glanced at Doodle. His ears were flat against his head. He yanked once, twice, and his paws dug little furrows before black nails dug in. Persistent little rugrat.

"I think it humanizes you," said Jaina, and Sylvanas saw her come around Stitches on the opposite side. The woman swatted aside the swarm of gnats and flies congregating around the intestines hanging from his stomach. "I always knew there had to be more than you than just being a grouch."

"And a murderer," said Orsten conversationally.

Jaina's face fell. "And, uh, that."

"Firestarter!" exclaimed Stitches. "Lady hurt ponies and puppies! They go boom boom boom!" He smacked his hook and cleaver together, and they made a loud, calamitous clanging racket.

It fell further. "Yes, well." She cleared her throat and smoothed out the wrinkles in her robe. "Faults notwithstanding, you have proven many—a lot—of your detractors wrong when they claimed you didn't have a heart. Even if your more…sensible feelings aren't worn on your sleeve, so to say…but they're still there! And for that, I'm glad to know there's more to you than that."

"Good for you," said Sylvanas. "Are you done preaching the good lord's word?"

Jaina's face colored. "Sylvanas, I mean it! Not only did you save Nova from those terrible people, you managed to singlehandedly push back a Lord of the Storm through an Erewhon Gate! Such an accomplishment hasn't been made since before the Age of Kings ended thirty-three thousand years ago! If you hadn't done that and destroyed it, we wouldn't be here today! There wouldn't be a Nexus at all! And Doodle," she said, glancing at the pup with wounded eyes, "he wouldn't have a home or an owner to go back to. Maybe not even a way back to his default sector."

"Except he's still here and you're still here and, by dint or luck or some unholy coincidence, Stitches is still here and so is the Harry Dresden knockoff and everyone else, for better or worse." Sylvanas sniffed, ignoring the affronted face Orsten made. "I hate this place and the Way and its people with an undying passion, but I'd be a damned fool to let some purist troglodytes with outdated 'life unworthy of life' eugenics and a slumbering leviathan from the blackest parts of the Spaces go through their purging unhindered. Neither do I want it all to fall apart because the Houses are blasé to the realms at large unless the circumstances benefit them. So yes, Proudmoore, I will do what I can to ensure it's in at least some recognizable shape. Wherever I go and wherever I please, that is; every other place can get blown up, rebuilt, and blown up again for all I care." She rotated her forearm sideways, and Doodle swerved to the left with a hiss of breath and tossed his head back and forth. His tail flicked wildly.

"What about Nova?" asked Orsten.

"What about her?"

"Well. You saved her. You saved all the transitioned from being kidnapped or, or taken to the camps, or even from being killed from the experiments."

"So?"

"They're very indebted to you."

"As they should be."

"Especially Nova." He frowned. "Even though, someday, she will have to go back to her original timeline."

Sylvanas grunted. She waved her arm back forth in slow and lazy circles, and Doodle followed with scrabbling paws.

"Everyone has a place here," said Jaina, "even those who have been hit hard with the transition. Whatever that reason may be, they have as much right to live their lives the way they want for as long as they remain in the Nexus. Even us, Sylvanas. Oh sure, we participate in the Hero League to help the Houses fill the coffers throughout the realms, but in a way it's almost as if we're starting our lives anew or do things we weren't able to back home." She looked off into the distance, where the sun was a spotlight over the high crowns of the Shire woods. "Sometimes I used to wonder what it'd be like if I wasn't put into the role as ruler of Theramore and mediator between the Alliance and the Horde, where the disputes of the world was settled not in wars but in tournaments such as these. Have you ever thought that, Sylvanas?"

"Why would I want to stop being the Banshee Queen? My people need me in order to survive. You know we're not exactly welcome in either faction. Most of your people would rather have me dead than have us mind our own business in the lands we took from the Scourge."

"But if you were given a chance? Would you take it and all it provided just to live life the way you want it?"

Sylvanas looked up at her from the canopy of hair in her eyes, studying her. It still surprised Jaina, after all this time, how very little gloom there needed to be in order for them to glow. It made them appear soft and effervescent like the coals of dying embers.

Then she returned her attention to Doodle, tightening her hold on the handle that almost slipped away. "It's easy to say you'll do something," she said. "It's another to go through with it. I can't see myself be anything but the Banshee Queen. It's something I have to do. Even if I had the choice between wanting to do it or not, I'd have to do it anyway. But since you asked," she added, seeing the dismay starting to show on Jaina's face, "if I did have a choice of what I wanted to do…" She mulled it over, shrugged, ignored the way Doodle rose and stamped his paws in response. "Well. Someone has to remind the Houses that money doesn't grow on trees nor come out of thin air. Someone has to remind them that resources are not infinite and that there are plenty of realms uncharted and untouched by the Knights that are clearly ripe for the picking. Just don't ask me to be a carpenter."

"Why not? Sylvanas, I didn't know you could draw. I didn't even know you liked to read."

"Yes, it's almost as if the concept of hobbies wasn't taught to me at an early age. What an unprecedented discovery you made."

"Wait, you read?" Orsten asked. He coughed a single laugh. He looked as though he couldn't decide whether to keep laughing, cry, or sink into the earth where it would swallow him dry and whole. "What could you possibly like?"

"Death, mayhem, and the annihilation of humanity and all life across an omniversal scale brought upon by the folly of man and the hungers of eldritch, uncaring beings whose shapes go beyond our pseudo-immortal comprehensions of non-Euclidean geometry."

He sighed. "Why does that not surprise me?"

"Stitches have hobbies, too!" said the abomination. "Stitches like playtime and pet time and eating time! They feel good! It make Stitches happy!" He glanced at Doodle and opened his cavernous mouth a toothy, drooling smile. "Make Stitches want more."

"Go ahead and try, tubby," Sylvanas rumbled. "I've always wanted to learn how to sow. It'll give me a reason to nail down that surgical precision. I believe my arrows will do the trick." She made to reach behind her shoulder where her quiver full of arrows rested on her back.

Stitches clamped his mouth shut.

"And that's well and dandy!" said Jaina. "Well, the reading and drawing, not the potential macabre sewing. But, what I'm trying to say is, Nova and all the transitioned have the choice now to pursue the help they need and turn over a new leaf that they wouldn't have been able to do in their sectors. Whatever that may be, they'll be happy to know the Powers will guarantee their safety from external interventions with a steadier hand now, and it's all thanks to you." She smiled. "Underneath all that bitterness and misanthropy, you really do care about us. Thank you, Sylvanas, for taking a stand."

Sylvanas harrumphed. "Damn right you should thank me. Now if you'd be so kind as to invite me for some cake that would be just great."

"Cake? Why would you want cake? You can't eat—oh. Oh! Come on, do I really come off as a princess to you?"

"Absolutely," said Sylvanas.

"Stitches love Disney!"

"Without a doubt," said Orsten. "You've got that quintessential Disney Princess aura about you. Nothing wrong with that, though. Girls love that sort of thing. You could just stand there doing nothing and it's guaranteed to draw attention."

"Although it would be nice to see you go postal now and then," said Sylvanas, looking up at her. "People are too salty these days, and you're all sugar and very little spice. Diabetes is a bad thing, you know. A little high blood pressure wouldn't hurt, except with you you'll want to put a stake in everyone who's so much has made eye contact with the Horde. I appreciate someone having a bit of that feistiness; it adds more to their character, and at this moment in time? Well there's not much character going for you. But I suppose there's some room for improvement—and hope—for you yet."

Jaina sighed and rolled her eyes, clenching her fists. "By the Light, Sylvanas! You're lucky I'm a very reasonable person! One of these days I'm going to have it up to here with your incendiary comments and I will show you just how feisty and unrelenting I can be!"

Sylvanas made a coughing sound in her throat that almost sounded like laughter. "You let me know when you reach that point, Proudmoore. It might just make my days a little more interesting."

"OH MY GOD!" Orsten cried. Jaina opened her mouth to ask what was wrong when she saw what happened. A startled, strangled yelp escaped her.

There was a sickening, squelching, tearing sound as Sylvanas' arm, the one holding the toy rope, came apart at the stitched seams below the elbow. It fell to the ground with a bloodless, unceremonious thump, and the fingers of her hand curled around the handle in a vice grip. Doodle let go of the toy and licked his mouth. He wagged his tail and smiled at everyone. "Woof woof!" he said.

Sylvanas stared at the torn limb, then at the rotting sinew and ligaments poking out from the stitching. "Huh. I thought for sure it'd have healed by now."

Stitches blinked at the arm once. He blinked again. Then he tossed his head back and guffawed. "Hyuk-hyuk-hyuk-hyuk! Doodle strong! Doodle gonna be beast when grown up!"

"Woof!" Doodle agreed, and beamed, puffing his little chest with pride.

"Sylvanas, we need to get you to Lieutenant Morales right away!" said Jaina, and stopped herself short from running over to her. "You, too, Detective Orsten! You don't look well at all."

Orsten nodded dumbly and swayed on his feet. He raised one gloved, crooked finger in the air, as though he was in possession of Captain Hook's hook and not his own hand. His gaze was unfocused, his face the softness of overripe cheese. "I…I think I need to lie…" He spun on his heel and dropped to the ground like a dead weight.

"What a pussy!" Sylvanas snorted, turning her nose up at the crumpled body.

"Detective Orsten!" Jaina looked between him and Sylvanas, who was picking up her arm and—by all that was holy, she was flaunting it in front of Doodle as though it was another toy, and he was more than ready to rock and roll. "Sylvanas, for Light's sake, hold onto that thing before he takes it out of your hand! Do you want Doodle to bury it between dimensions?"

Sylvanas shrugged. "I can just break into a graveyard and steal one or buy an arm at an Underworld. Undead are a dime a dozen, you know."

"Yes, and then you'll have wasted your money when you die and it comes back! Please take this seriously, Sylvanas! I don't want to have to see the Novas work themselves into a panic if they should see you like this and think the Lancers are still running amok. Now come along! Stitches, be a dear and please help carry Detective Orsten…in your arms, your arms!"

Stitches stopped and pouted. He had put his weapons into the meat of his back where they rested as rudimentary sheathes, and he had Orsten by the underarms and halfway off the ground. His head was shy of entering the open cavern of his stomach. "You no make things easier! Stitches won't eat trilby. Stitches promise!"

"Just this once, Stitches, please. I don't have enough money for several surgeries to dig him out."

"Bah! Stitches no like, but Stitches do as ice-lady say." He hauled the detective up into the air in one strong tug and caught him in a surprisingly gentle bridal carry. "Ice-lady owe me! I getting hungry!"

Jaina nodded vigorously. "Thank you, Stitches! Don't you worry, I will repay you…on the condition you apply your table manners, that is."

Stitches grinned. "All can eat?"

"Well, there's a limit on how much you can eat at certain places, and we'll have to search for one that's affordable, but—"

"Ice-lady lead way! Then we look on computer web and find best gourmet food in King's Crest! We go tonight!"

"Actually, I have plans tonight—"

"SOON AS POSSIBLE! STITCHES WILL EAT GOOD!" Stitches cried, and laughed as he all but lumbered past Jaina, who jumped aside to avoid the the hook's chain from blowing into her.

She turned pleadingly to Sylvanas. The Banshee Queen shrugged. "You're a smart girl. You'll figure out. Now move, he's waiting." She pointed at the abomination with her detached arm, the hand and the fingers clutching the rope flopping like a deflated wind sock. "Come, Doodle."

"Woof!"

Jaina sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "We may as well make a stop at the bank so I can pull some money out from the savings account. And maybe ask if a couple of the girls would like to, er, come along for the company. Perhaps then I can avoid putting down all those tabs."

"So that's what your generation calls it these days," Sylvanas said softly with a roll of her eyes.

Jaina felt her eyebrows crinkle, couldn't stop the roll of her eyes, but said nothing. Her shoulders slumped and she hung her head. Wracking her brain for ideas as to where the Novas and the Vallas and the Li Lis and the rest of the girls were at today (and if they would please oh please like to cover part of the bill she most certainly would not be able to by herself, thank you so much, you girls are the best a friend could hope for, unlike a certain SOMEONE I KNOW), she went to catch up to Stitches, Sylvanas and Doodle tagging behind.