A/N—Reminder that I don't own these characters and that all credit goes to the creators of "Big Time Rush."

So this website does not allow the use of the "at" symbol or any kind of dotcom. For that reason, I had to literally spell out the email addresses and I hope that's not confusing. Sorry if it is!

James had tried to put the whole thing out of his mind during their weekly movie and ice cream date; thanks to Logan, who knew just how to make him feel better, he was successful. It wasn't until the following morning that he allowed himself to think about Rusherone again.

Maybe Logan was right. Maybe if he went back to the same chat at the same time, he'd get lucky. He just hoped Rusherone hadn't met someone else in the meantime and forgotten about him.

James searched through every gay male chat room on the network for Rusherone, but he came up empty. Rather than give up, he searched again. He didn't know why he was so determined, as there were plenty of other choices and he would no doubt meet someone else who made him smile, but there was something about Rusherone. Maybe it was because like James, he was new to this whole thing. It was scary enough just talking to strangers in this setting; at least Rusherone understood where he was coming from.

Watching conversations scroll past, James was disheartened. Most of the guys were there to hook up, of course, and while that was basically James' goal as well, he was looking for more than a quick fuck. He wanted to fall in love. He exited the current chat he was in and was about to shut down his laptop when he decided to give it one more try. Starting at the top of the list, he logged into the room and quickly skimmed the names.

Boom. There you are.

Heart flipping over in his chest, James clicked on the name and was about to request a private chat, but then Rusherone disappeared.

"Fuck!" he yelled. "Where are you?"

He went into the next one down and sure enough, there was Rusher again. He clicked on the name, anxious now, and then...he was gone.

"What are you doing?!" James screamed at his computer. He stood up suddenly, moving to the kitchen table and setting the laptop down on it before pulling a chair closer. This was going to require some serious concentration.

The pattern repeated itself. James would log into a room, find Rusherone, but then the guy would disappear. About halfway down the list, James realized that Rusher was doing what he'd done—going through each room in search of someone.

"Oh, you'd better be looking for me," he muttered. "I got you now."

James skipped over the next two rooms, biting his lip as he waited in one further down the list and prayed Rusherone would show up. Thirty seconds later, it happened.

"Yes! Caught you! Now just don't leave before I—"

In the process of clicking on Rusherone's name, James almost closed the box that suddenly popped up on his screen. He realized just before doing so that it was an invitation to a private chat with Rusherone and his heart went insane.

"You were looking for me. I'm already in love." James accepted the invitation with a smile, immediately typing when the new window opened.

Kingofdiamonds: You're a hard man to find. :)

Rusherone: Me? It took me forever to find you!

Kingofdiamonds: Where did you go yesterday? I thought we were having fun.

Rusherone: You're the one who disappeared! I thought I scared you by asking your name.

Kingofdiamonds: My Internet went out. When I came back, you were gone.

Rusherone: Oh. That sucks, I really thought I scared you away.

Kingofdiamonds: Not quite yet. Keep trying. ;)

Rusherone: How about we start with that? Got a name?

Kingofdiamonds: I do.

Rusherone: Uh huh...would you rather not share it? I understand if you don't want to.

Kingofdiamonds: I do, it's just...I have my reasons. Just call me Diamond.

Sitting on his couch again, Kendall groaned while his head fell back. He really didn't want to call this guy Diamond. That name was reserved for the stuck-up jerk he was trying to avoid. Finally he sighed.

Rusherone: I'd rather not. Can we go with King?

Kingofdiamonds: You realize that's only going to feed my massive ego.

Rusherone: I'll take that chance. Diamond is going to turn me off completely.

Kingofdiamonds: Oh, well we can't have that. King it is. What can I call you?

Rusherone: Uh...Rusher? Rush?

Kingofdiamonds: I like Rush. Kind of like the feeling I got when I found you today.

Kendall smiled. This was going to be just fine.

Rusherone: So...how was your day?

James blinked in surprise. This guy was asking about his day? Really?

Kingofdiamonds: It was okay. Slept in, got up and went out for a run, put in some time at the gym. Now I'm just enjoying my one day of solitude.

Rusherone: Am I ruining that?

Kingofdiamonds: Nope.

Rusherone: So you have an entire day to yourself and the first thing you do is come find me?

Kingofdiamonds: Well...I mean, I did do other stuff first. Don't make me sound pathetic.

Laughing, Kendall shifted into a more comfortable position. He hoped to be here a while.

Rusherone: Sorry, that wasn't my intention. If it is pathetic, you're not alone.

Kingofdiamonds: That's always nice. ;) What about you? How was your day?

Rusherone: Boring but relaxing. Got up and went out for some fresh air, made a few phone calls. Fixed some lunch.

Kingofdiamonds: Did you think of me today?

Rolling his eyes, Kendall was smiling anyway.

Rusherone: I'm here, aren't I? ;)

Kingofdiamonds: So tell me about yourself. Why aren't you out breaking hearts in person, why do it this way?

Rusherone: Because I'm a loser? I don't know, I just don't have a lot of dating experience and this seemed a good way to get some. You?

Kingofdiamonds: It's scary how much you sound like me. How old are you?

Rusherone: 19. Almost 20. I'm afraid to ask about you.

Kingofdiamonds: Actually, I'm 20.

Rusherone: That's convenient.

Kingofdiamonds: I'm not lying, dude! I'm 20. Still not very good with people.

Rusherone: I never have a problem with that. I just don't know how to strike up a conversation with someone in a romantic way.

Kingofdiamonds: You're doing a pretty good job now. ;)

Grinning, Kendall let out a little sound of excitement. He'd never been flirted with before this guy. Unless he counted that math teacher, and Kendall wasn't sure he could.

Rusherone: Thank you. I'd say you do just fine with people.

Kingofdiamonds: Not in person. It comes out wrong half the time. There's this hot guy at work and my first words to him came out sounding rude. I didn't mean it that way, I was trying to make a joke, but I think he hates me now. It sucks.

Rusherone: Wow, that does suck. I'm sorry. But, you know, more for me. ;)

It amazed Kendall that he was able to flirt back so naturally. This guy made it easy.

Kingofdiamonds: Definitely. What else do I need to know about you?

That gave Kendall pause. He wasn't comfortable divulging a lot. He didn't know if the hockey thing would be a pro or con to a prospective dating partner, and was pretty sure the lack of a second leg would be a detriment.

You don't have to meet him, Kendall. This is practice. What would you say if he was standing in front of you?

Rusherone: I like sports?

Kingofdiamonds: Are you sure? You don't sound too sure. :P

Rusherone: I'm just trying to think haha. That's the first thing that comes to mind about me.

Kingofdiamonds: Not a horrible thing. I admit I'm not one for sports, but I do like hockey.

Kendall's heart stuttered. What were the odds? Unless the guy knew it was him, but...no. There was no way he could know.

Rusherone: I enjoy a good hockey game myself. No other sports you're into?

Kingofdiamonds: Sadly, no. I'm more into the arts.

Rusherone: Like...painting? That sort of thing?

Kingofdiamonds: Music. Acting. Things of a performance nature.

Rusherone: Oh, that sounds about right. You like the attention.

Kingofdiamonds: And again I say that you don't even know me.

Rusherone: You did mention your massive ego.

Kingofdiamonds: Okay but I'm not an asshole. I mean...I try not to be.

Rusherone: And are you successful most of the time? :P

Kingofdiamonds: Depends on who you ask. My best friend would probably say that I'm successful "a fair amount" of the time.

Rusherone: He talks like that?

Kingofdiamonds: Dude, he's so smart. Your typical nerd except he's also really hot.

Rusherone: Why don't you date him? Oh, let me guess. He's straight.

Kingofdiamonds: He's not, and that's the hardest part. He just doesn't know I'm into guys.

Rusherone: How does your best friend not know that about you?

Kingofdiamonds: It's complicated.

Rusherone: Really? Because I feel like if anyone would understand, it would be another gay guy.

Kingofdiamonds: Trust me. In this situation, it's best nobody knows.

Rusherone: Well I know.

Kingofdiamonds: You're the only person on Earth who does, and I'd like to keep it that way.

Rusherone: Why?

Kingofdiamonds: Are you out to everyone?

Rusherone: Me? I haven't told anyone. Though I did admit to a guy at work that I wouldn't be opposed to trying out a guy.

Kingofdiamonds: Wait, so...you've never been with a guy?

Rusherone: Nope. Have you?

Kingofdiamonds: No. I was hoping this would be a way to get that ball rolling. Kind of practice, if that makes sense.

Rusherone: It makes total sense! That's why I'm here, too!

Kingofdiamonds: Okay, this could work. We can use each other to practice.

Rusherone: Hell yeah. But I have to tell you up front that I'm not interested in meeting in person. It's nothing against you, I'm just not ready for that yet.

Kingofdiamonds: I'm here to get you ready. And you do the same for me, deal?

Rusherone: Totally. I'm horrible at flirting.

Kingofdiamonds: You're not doing so bad. ;) I think I'm okay at it.

Rusherone: And I'm good at talking to people, so...let's do this. You teach me how to flirt and I'll teach you how to talk to people. No idea how I'm going to do that through a computer, but we'll figure it out.

Kingofdiamonds: Awesome! Should we make plans to meet up every day or what?

Rusherone: I don't know if I can make it every day. Does this program allow us to communicate when the other person's offline?

Kingofdiamonds: I have no idea. Is there any way you can trace me through an email address?

Rusherone: Probably, but I wouldn't know how.

Kingofdiamonds: Can I trust you not to find out?

Rusherone: As long as you promise me the same thing.

Kingofdiamonds: Deal. So this remains totally anonymous. We agree on that.

Rusherone: 100%.

Kingofdiamonds: Okay, I'm gonna make an email address just for you. And we'll use it to make plans to meet up or whatever. Sound good?

Rusherone: Sounds great. I'll do the same. Hang on.

Kendall clicked out of the chat box and quickly figured out how to create a new email address. He was back in less than three minutes.

Rusherone: rusher1AThotmaildotcom

Kingofdiamonds: DiamondKingATgmaildotcom

Rusherone: Nice! When are you regularly free?

Kingofdiamonds: Most evenings after about 7:30. Sorry, I know that's late but my buddy and I usually have dinner together and hang out.

Rusherone: The gay guy?

Kingofdiamonds: Yeah.

Rusherone: And he's never made a move on you?

Kingofdiamonds: No, he thinks I'm straight. He wouldn't anyway.

Rusherone: Why not?

Kingofdiamonds: I told you he's super smart.

Rusherone: So?

Kingofdiamonds: He'd never go for someone like me. I wouldn't measure up.

Rusherone: Has he told you that?

Kingofdiamonds: He doesn't have to. Trust me, he's way out of my league. He deserves better.

Rusherone: Where's that massive ego you were bragging about earlier?

Kingofdiamonds: Look, the truth is chicks love me. I'm gorgeous.

Rusherone: There it is. :P

Kingofdiamonds: Shut up lol. I'm hot but it doesn't do me any good with guys.

Rusherone: How many guys have you actively tried to date?

Kingofdiamonds: Doesn't matter. I'm a girl's wet dream. Wait, do girls have wet dreams?

Rusherone: I'm pretty sure they do, only they don't...actually, I don't really know. What was your point?

Kingofdiamonds: That if I was out there trying to date chicks, I'd be fighting them off. Guys...I totally fail with. I mean, if I was that amazing, wouldn't you think my buddy would've hit on me by now?

Rusherone: Not if he thinks you're straight. I wouldn't hit on a straight friend.

Kingofdiamonds: He wouldn't anyway. I'm not smart enough to date a guy like him.

Rusherone: He obviously finds some value in you if he's kept you around.

Kingofdiamonds: He doesn't have anyone else. Once he does? I'm history.

Rusherone: I'm sure that's not true.

Kingofdiamonds: It is. I've accepted it. I'm just enjoying his company now while I have it before he moves on.

Rusherone: I still think you're wrong about that, but let's get you ready to date just in case you're right. We'll find you a guy.

Kingofdiamonds: And we'll find YOU a guy. Is 7:30 too late for you?

Rusherone: No, it's probably best because I won't even get home from work until after six. You free tomorrow?

Kingofdiamonds: Not tomorrow. Sundays I hang out with him. It's kind of our thing.

Rusherone: That's nice. I wish I had a buddy like that.

Kingofdiamonds: Maybe one day you will. Actually, I need to get going. He's calling me.

Rusherone: Sure. See you Monday, I hope.

Kingofdiamonds: Email me! Bye!

Kingofdiamonds has left the chat.

Kendall sat up with a sigh, setting his laptop on the coffee table. So he'd found a guy, but it seemed the guy was hung up on his best friend.

It's fine, Kendall. You're not going to date him. You're going to help each other find dates, that's all. You are not allowed to fall in love with him.

Better to set his sights elsewhere. If nothing else, he'd made a new friend. That was a welcome change, right?

James picked up just before the call went to voicemail. "Hey, sorry, I was in the middle of something."

Logan's voice was a welcome sound. "Totally okay. Are you busy right now? Is this a bad time?"

"Please, it's never a bad time. You know I have no life."

"Good, because I need a date tonight."

"Whoa, what?"

"Mom's throwing a party for my aunt and if you don't come with me, I'm the only guy in the room. Also the only person under forty. Please don't leave me alone with them."

James laughed, glad that Logan still needed him. "What time?"

"I'll pick you up at five. Thanks, I was dreading this."

"Anything for the nerd in my life. Do we need to bring anything?"

"We'll stop on the way for appetizers. I was thinking we hit up our favorite wing place, maybe get some mozzarella sticks and potato skins, too."

"You know the way to my heart, Mitchell. Are the ladies going to be okay with that?"

"They can deal with it. Also I'm sorry in advance if Mom starts up with her 'You two make such a cute couple' crap again. She doesn't seem to understand the meaning of the word 'straight.'"

"It's cool," James chuckled. "But...I did meet someone."

There was silence for a beat, and then a hesitant, "That's great. Online?"

"Yeah, I found her again. You were right—same chat room, same time."

"That's great! And you talked?"

"We did. We're gonna talk again Monday."

"Oh. That's cool, I can just go home after work instead of—"

"No, dude, I told her I'm not free until 7:30 every night. You come first."

"James, that's not the way to date someone. She needs to come before your friends."

"Well, we're not at that stage, so...right now, you're still number one."

Logan was quiet for so long that James was about to make sure he was still there, but then he piped up. "Since we're hanging out tomorrow, why don't you just stay the night?"

"Yeah, I can do that. Your couch is comfortable."

"Right." Logan hesitated again before adding, "So be ready at five."

"Done. Should I put my arm around you a few times just to make your mother happy?"

"Not funny, asshole. Don't encourage her. In fact, make sure to mention the girl you've been chatting with."

James grinned. "See you at five, gorgeous."

"James, that's not funny!"

With a laugh, James hung up the phone. It would've been nice to use Logan's mom as an excuse to get a little extra touching in, but in the end it would only make him feel worse because he knew it would never go anywhere.

Best to think about Rush. That wasn't going anywhere either, but at least James could get some flirting in without worrying about pushing the guy away.

Feeling a bit more optimistic about life, James whistled on his way to the shower.

Monday

Kendall knocked on the door marked "Guidance Counselor" and braced himself, having a suspicion what this meeting was about and wanting no part of it.

"Come in!" was called out.

He entered to find a petite young woman with dark hair standing over a table of... "Are those Legos?"

"I'm building Hogwarts and doing it without the instructions. Close the door."

Kendall did, then spun back with a frown. "Why?"

"Because I didn't think you'd want everyone hearing your personal business. If you'd rather they did, though, by all means—"

"No, I mean why without instructions?"

The woman finally turned around, Kendall shocked to see a patch of long, bright red hair running through the black. "Because it's more fun that way."

"Okay, but it'll probably also take longer."

"I've got all year, I'm not worried about it. Something to pass the time, anyway," she shrugged, then held out a hand. "Lucy. You're the hockey guy?"

"I am. Kendall," he nodded. He dropped her hand after shaking, waiting until she was seated behind a desk to take the chair in front of it. "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Nope."

"Oh." Confused, Kendall shook his head and started to stand. "I'll just leave you to—"

"It's not up to us. Kalvert calls the shots around here, and he requested that I meet with you."

Kalvert. "The principal wanted me to meet with you? Why?"

"If I had to guess, I'd say it's because of the whole leg thing and how you probably feel like a failure coming back here without achieving your dreams."

"Ouch," Kendall muttered, looking down.

"Those would be his words, not mine. It's how he thinks."

"I see." He really didn't.

"That's not how it is, though, right?"

"Well...I mean...it's not a lie."

"Yeah, but so what? You did a good deed, got screwed over for it, and now you're back here. That doesn't make you a failure."

Kendall's eyes narrowed as he tried to follow her logic. "Are you trying to like...get inside my head? Is this how you talk to the students who come in here?"

"I'm not trying to do anything. See, that's the misconception about counseling. There's no game to it, you just tell people the reality of a situation so they can see it clearly. Kids come in here all the time feeling like they're worthless or stupid or like they can't measure up to what their parents want for them. But so what? That just means there's a different path for them. Like you. You wanted to play hockey, right?"

"Yes. I'm still going to."

That paused Lucy's ranting. "How?"

"I'm going to have a prosthetic made with a skate on it so I can get back on the ice."

She nodded, impressed. "Now see? You're not just gonna let opportunities pass you by. I like that in a person."

"I guess," Kendall conceded. "Did you have a point?"

"Did I? Oh! Yeah, so...you wanted to skate. And you're still going to, just not in the capacity you always thought you were. Instead, you're using your skills to benefit others. And before you say that's lame, I want you to remember how good it feels to win."

Still not quite following her logic, Kendall agreed. "It feels amazing."

"Right? So what you're doing is giving all those kids on the team a chance to feel that, and by doing so, you're going to inspire them. Lift their confidence. Show them they aren't losers. Because trust me, the last coach didn't do that for them."

"Hey, Coach Teague is fantastic. He trained me all my life and got me this job."

"That's great, and I'm sure he did do all that for you. You're gonna do the same now. Are you getting my point?"

"Sort of? But don't insult Teague, he's one of the best men I've ever known."

"Totally not arguing that. Great guy. But his heart hasn't been in it for a while now. You can't argue that."

Kendall couldn't. Here they were, talking about heart again. Why did it always come back to that? "So you're saying that even though my dreams were crushed, it was for a reason and that reason is to give back and inspire others?"

"Exactly!" Proud of herself, Lucy leaned across her desk with a raised hand. Kendall met her for the high five but only because it was rude to leave her hanging.

"So I was sent here for a pep talk?"

"Kalvert just said you might be having a hard time adjusting and he wanted you to know that my door is always open if you need someone to talk to. Probably figured he wasn't up to the task."

"But you are?" Kendall smirked.

"Hello, did I not just prove that? You feel better now, right?"

"I..." Strangely, he did. "Wow. I'm still not just okay with everything. I miss my leg and I miss my career."

"This is your new career. Get used to it. Enjoy it. Find the good things that come with it."

Logan flashed into his mind. Following that was a vision of James Diamond, but he knew it was only because King resembled Diamond in his mind. He'd have to find a way around that. Hoping he wasn't making a huge mistake, Kendall leaned forward. "Is this like...confidential?"

"Unless you tell me you're planning to kill yourself or someone else. So..."

"No, nothing like that," Kendall hurriedly assured her. "I just...I don't know anybody here."

"You do now. This is your free period, right?"

"Right."

"You can come talk to me whenever you want. I can set up a standing appointment with you if you feel you need it. My services are usually for the kids, but I've been known to help out a few staff members on occasion."

"I don't need that, but thanks. I was wondering about..."

"Yes?" When Kendall still hesitated, she urged, "Come on, I know where this is going and yes, I know the relationship status of everyone employed here. Who's caught your eye? Please don't say me, because I'm going to tell you now that you're not my type."

Distracted from himself for a moment, Kendall cocked his head. "What is your type?"

"Someone without an appendage that grows when a short skirt walks by."

"Oh." Kendall blinked in surprise, then laughed in relief. "Okay. So...I'm thinking about dating guys, and I...you know what? I shouldn't do this."

"You totally should. This might be part of why it all happened. You were sent here to find the guy of your dreams."

"No, I meant...it's not right to talk about someone else."

"Let me guess. Diamond."

Kendall made a semi-disgusted face. "No! I mean, he's hot, but...no. He seems like a dick."

"He can be," Lucy nodded. "I almost got him crying in here once but he took off. I think feelings scare him."

"Wow. You're not trying to do that with me, are you?"

"No, but you're not fighting me on everything the way he did. Who is it then?"

"Um." Still not sure it was good idea, as the last thing Kendall wanted was to start drama or gossip, he finally admitted. "The math guy. Logan."

That surprised Lucy into uncharacteristic silence for all of five seconds. "Mitchell? Really?"

"I talked to him Friday. Was thinking I might have lunch with him today. I just need to know if he..."

"He's totally gay."

"I know," Kendall grinned. "We got that far. Is he seeing someone?"

Lucy literally bit her tongue, seeming to consider the question and debate her answer. Finally she said, "No."

"You don't sound sure."

"He isn't."

"But...?"

"But...I think he wants to. If you want him, move fast."

"Oh. So he's already interested in someone else?"

"Yes."

"So I should back off."

"No."

Kendall let out a frustrated sound, shoving his bangs off his forehead. "You're not making any sense."

"He's definitely into someone, but it's going nowhere. If you want him, make your move."

"I don't even know him. I just wanted to make sure he was available before I let myself go there."

Lucy sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. "So he told you he's gay?"

"In a manner of speaking."

"Interesting. Mitchell tends to keep to himself. Was Diamond around?"

"No, he'd left. Are they friends?"

"They are," Lucy nodded. "I think Mitchell's the only one who puts up with his crap."

"So he really is a dick."

"Sometimes. We all have layers."

Kendall nodded, considering that. "Okay, so...thanks for the talk."

"Anytime. You need to get back?"

"I probably should."

"We've got another twenty minutes before the bell, come help me with Hogwarts."

"I really have no idea where any of those pieces go."

"Then we're in the same boat! Come on, Knight, save me from boredom."

Kendall chuckled. He supposed it was the least he could do as a thank you for the pep talk.