Gold

"Rumple, wake up."

Cora was shoving my shoulder to wake me from my alcohol induced slumber as I slept on the sofa. I open my eyes to recognize a look of disappointment on her face. The rays from the sun were soft but were still too bright for my dilated eyes. It was early morning so Cora had to be just getting off work.

"You smell like a fucking brewery. How much did you drink?"

"Take it easy Cora. You know how much I can't stand your swearing." I said as I tried to sit up on the couch, but my head began to spin.

"And you know how I can't stand when you drink yourself into a stupor. How much did you have?

"I don't remember." I tried to stop the dizziness by rubbing my temples with my hand while shielding my eyes away from Cora in the palm.

"Oh well that's just great. I'm tired as hell from working twelve hours. Now I have to take Belle to school because you decided to get shitface like a college frat boy. You're too old to be doing this Rumple."

"I'm fine, I'll take Belle-" I cut my own sentence off as the memories of last night came flooding back to me. I touched my daughter. I defiled my own flesh and blood. A migraine was creeping from the back of my skull, and the feeling of nausea began to surface in my stomach. I gagged as the burning sensation of vomit reached the back of my throat. I lunged from the couch, running for the garbage can in the kitchen. When the contents of my stomach were gone, Cora was standing behind with a look of sympathy on her face.

"You were saying?"

"I'm sorry Cora." I gave her a look of defeat.

She sighed. "Its fine Rumple, just next time be more considerate."

She kissed my cheek and turned on her heels to leave me. I was so relieved I didn't have to take Belle to school. I couldn't bear to look at her. My daughters face was the last thing I wanted to see and I knew she was somewhere in the house. I was terrified of what she must think of me. My own daughter considers me a monster. I wasn't her father anymore I was her pedophile, a pervert who couldn't control my desires even with my own child. I sighed and I wished that God would kill me now. I pulled the garbage bag from the waste basket and proceeded to take it outside. I still couldn't take my mind off her. It chilled me to the bone that I did something deceiving. I was trembling as I left the trash bag on the curb for the sanitation workers. I took my time walking back, although, the cool morning air did nothing to calm my nerves.

When I made it back to the house and walk in the side door to the kitchen, Belle and Henry were seated at the table eating breakfast cereal. My stomach drop when she looked up at me. I felt the color leave from my face and I knew I appeared white as a ghost. But what I wasn't expecting was the smile she gave me. Henry, my handsome grandson, leapt from his chair at the table when he saw me enter. He ran to me, screaming my name as he always did when he greeted me.

"Grandpa!"

"There's my strong boy."

I bent down to scooped him up in my arms and toss him up playfully. He was the perfect distraction for me. Then I was bless with another, Regina was walking the kitchen with an agitated look. I let Henry down to his feet and he returned to the table to finish his cereal. Regina went straight for the coffee pot, not even bothering to say good morning to her family.

"Good morning sweetheart." I said to her to bring her out of her funk.

"Morning dad."

"Uh- Good morning Belle." I chose to tell her so she wouldn't feel left out.

"Good morning daddy." She said it so lovingly with a smile. I hesitated but I returned her a very flat one back while cutting my eyes from her.

Cora was walking into the kitchen in her regular clothes instead of her work scrubs looking for her car keys. I felt bad that I couldn't let her rest and take Belle to school. I was feeling bad about a lot of things, but a car ride with just me and Belle alone was out of the question.

"Belle, are you finished with your cereal?"

"Almost." She buried her bow in disappointment. "Dad's not taking me to school?" She said looking at me with the same curious cerulean eyes as last night.

"No, your father isn't feeling well this morning." Cora gave a great answer.

Belle shrugged her shoulders before picking up her bowl to drink down the rest of her cereal and milk. While her head was tilted back I saw the smoothness of her neck and the sounds of her soft moans of when I bit her there while teasing her enter my mind. When she put the bowl down I knew she could feel my eyes on her as she bit her lip, then look towards me for a third time. I only bow my head to avert my glare. I mean what else could I do, yell at her for being the object of my darkest desires? She rose from her chair, grabbing her baby blue and white backpack to leave for school. She gave Henry a kiss on the cheek and waited by the door for her mother while Cora fixed her coffee mug to go. When Cora was heading out I grabbed her by the wrist, stopping her in her tracks. When she turned to me I apologize to her again. This time it wasn't for the drinking.

"It's fine Rumple."

She gave me a smile and I knew I was forgiven. I leaned in to kiss her. Her lips were so soft and the kiss was very trademark, nothing felt new about it. I saw Belle's eyes shift downwards in a kind of sadden way. She's never done that before. Did she not like to see me kiss her mother? We bided each other farewell and Belle gave me a short wave good bye. I didn't return the wave; I was still too overwhelmed with my own internal suffering to address her in any form. When they left I was able to exhale.

"Uhhhh I don't want to go to work." Regina said to no one in particular after taking a sip of her coffee.

"We have do a lot of things we don't want to, that's why it's called being responsible."

"Whatever dad. You have a job that you like and you make good money."

"And I started right where you are too. School and a dead end job, but it's was the feeling you're having right now that motivated me to do better for myself and for your brother, Bae."

Regina sighed. I knew she was tired of hearing my same speech. She felt like life wasn't fair to her. It only got harder on her as she tries to raise Henry and keep a steady job while going to school.

"Regina you're a smart girl, you know your path. Mistakes happen for us to learn from them." I patted my daughter affectingly on the shoulder. "Now I need a favor from you. Can you make my coffee to go so I can go get ready for work?"

She rolled her eyes and agreed by nodding her head. I chuckled, leaving her and her son in the kitchen to go prepare for work.

That evening, while driving home in my car, I promised to myself no more ducking and dodging Belle. She was my daughter and I still needed to be her father. I acknowledged to myself that I messed up. I took my own advice that I gave Regina and admitted it was a mistake. It was that damn show, what the fuck Game of Thrones? It was half past four o'clock when I pulled my black Cadillac into the driveway. I gave myself a chance to exhale before I entered the side door of the house that led to the kitchen. Belle was of course already home from school, and was probably reading in her room. Regina was off work and picked Henry up from preschool on her way home. When I walked into the kitchen the aroma of cooked meat and fried food seemed to cheer me up. Cora was cooking in her hospital scrubs. She had to go to work soon, but she still always ate dinner with us before she left for the hospital. When I saw my wife, standing in front of the stove flipping burgers in a skillet, I couldn't help myself. I walked over to Cora to stand behind her, took of hold of her by the waist and merged my body flush against hers. I knew she felt the bulge of my manhood on her backside when she leaned back into my embrace.

"Mmm, happy to see me Rumple?"

She grind softly against my groin and I felt myself twitch below. She craned her neck over to give me access to kiss her there and I did. Everything we were doing felt so natural, guileless, like I wouldn't be judged. Was it enough?

"Oh God, could you two stop? We have children in the house." A voice said from behind us.

I halted my teasing of Cora and I turned around to greet my daughter Regina, who was walking in to have a seat at the dining table. I gave her a smile before washing my hands and taking my seat too. Before long Belle and Henry were walking in. I averted my eyes as soon as I made eye contact with her. She took her seat next to Regina as Cora was bringing the burger patties and hot spuds to the table.

"Looks lovely dear." I said and she gave me a smile.

"Really good mom." Regina said picking up another french fry.

"Thank you, I was short on time so I thought you guys would enjoy homemade burgers tonight."

I chuckled at Henry who was stuffing his face wildly with french fries while Regina cut his hamburger into four pieces. Belle looked as if she were in another place, staring off into the distance of the room as she ate her dinner. Where was her mind? I wondered to myself. Was she still thinking about what I did to her? Those foul things I did to her with my hands and mouth? I pushed the thought to the deepest depth of my mind as my family and I continued to eat our dinner.

After dinner, Cora left for work and I was left alone again without any distractions. So I went to go hide in my room. On my way to the master suite I walked pass my children's baby pictures. I came to a standstill when I reached the newborn photos of me and Cora holding Belle, who was only a few days old. I sighed upon gazing at the picture. I looked so happy with her in my arms and I was. She was beautiful then as she is now. And I ruined her like a disease. I wanted that back, as I looked at the picture of her balled up in my arms trying to grabbed a hold to the strands of my hairs that tickled her nose. I want Belle as my daughter, to love and protected her like a father. To be there for her, like if some boy tries breaks her heart, like I was with Regina. I closed my eyes to shut her out. Turned away from the pictures and continue my saunter to my room.

After my shower I hopped in the bed and began to watch the local news. Sidney Glass was talking about something of little importance. Not much happens in the small town of Storybrooke, and I was always thankful for that. I couldn't help but wonder what the news headline would read if anyone were to find out about what I did to Belle. It wouldn't be good, probably a hanging in the city square since Storybrooke was such a small town. I'm sure a lot of its citizen would love to have me, their landlord, hanging on display dead. I chuckled at the thought of them getting rid of me so easily. While I was sitting up in bed with my back against the headboard watching television, I notice my bedroom door slowly began to wedge open. Belle walked in and my heart started to palpitate. What more could she want from me? I'm guilted every time I look at her, yet she still seeks me out? She was wearing another one of her long cotton gowns, only this time it depicted some Disney Princess dressed in a yellow ball gown dancing with a hairy beast.

"Daddy?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Can we watch Game of Thrones together?"

Did she really think I would want to watch goddamn Game of Thrones? The show I blamed for the sexual longing for my thirteen year old daughter. Did she even know I blamed the show? I wouldn't blame her, it wasn't her fault. It wasn't my fault either. But she still came to me, asking to watch the same show we were watching when I violated her.

"You don't have to watch that show every night Belle." I said fingering with the remote, flipping through the channels to give myself a distraction as I spoke to her.

"I like watching it with you."

"Well, unfortunately, I am watching the news at the moment."

As soon as the words left my mouth, Belle was running to jump onto the bed. What took me even more by surprise was when she sat on my lap and straddled me between her legs. I was in shock and I winced in protest when I felt a throb in my groin as her middle brushed me. I only stared at her with wide eyes, falling within myself. Did she think this want is what I wanted? For her to become my little play thing when her mother wasn't home. I wouldn't mind, but no, I pushed all thoughts of it out of my head completely. She stared back at with so much want in those sapphire eyes. Was she waiting for me to make the first move as I did before? I suppose she grew impatience while I just sat there with a questionable look in my stare. She kissed me, it was only a peck and it was insatiable so I deepen the kiss. I used my tongue and she seemed to like it because she even began using hers back as she dipped it in my mouth. I couldn't believe I taught my daughter how to french kiss and she was good at it, such a quick learner.

It was when she comb her fingers through my hair did her baby pictures began to flood my head. Then I realize. I didn't want this with Belle. I didn't want a forbidden love with my daughter. I jerked away from her lips and her eyes open suddenly filled with confusion.

"Belle stop."

Dropping her hand from the creases of my hair, she gave me the most sadden eyes.

"You don't want this. You know this is wrong." I tried to explain to her.

"I know, but I do want this." Belle pleaded.

"You don't even know what this is. You're a child. My child. I'm your father, not your lover."

Without giving her a chance to speak, I lifted her leg from around me and pulled her from my lap. She laid there next to me for a moment in the shock my rejection before crawling out of my bed to quickly leave the room. I sighed as I watched her leave. I didn't understand why she would still want me? Why doesn't she see me as a monster? As much as she wants it, it's still rape and I would definitely go down as a sex offender without a second thought. Did she even understand that? Why couldn't she just let me be her father? I blame that damn show for Belle's lust. I blame that Lord Baelish for showing my daughter that an older man and a teenage girl could be intimate with one another. I wouldn't blame myself, how could I? But then who could I blame for still wanting her?