A/N—Reminder that I don't own these characters and that all credit goes to the creators of "Big Time Rush."

Happy weekend! This chapter marks the end of Saturday, which was a long day for all of them. Sounds like you all are rooting for either Jagan or Kames at this point, but Logan and Kendall do want to make this work so...we'll see! This entire chapter is also just a King/Rush chat, so hopefully it's not too boring for that. They had a lot to talk about, though.

They agreed to meet up in the messaging program in five. Kendall used the time waiting for his laptop to boot up to change out of his date clothes and into comfortable sweats, too lazy to throw on a shirt.

It wasn't like anyone was going to see him.

Rusherone: I'm ready.

Kingofdiamonds: Are you naked?

Kendall laughed, grateful that this man always knew how to make that happen.

Rusherone: Not this time. Wait, are you?

Kingofdiamonds: Do I need to be? :P

Rusherone: I honestly just need someone to talk to tonight.

Kingofdiamonds: Of course. I'm always here for that.

Rusherone: Thank you.

Kingofdiamonds: I didn't expect to see you tonight. Does that mean your date didn't go well?

Rusherone: I don't know where to start. Today's been exhausting and confusing.

Kingofdiamonds: I'm in no hurry, so take your time.

Rusherone: You really don't mind listening to me whine about my love life?

Kingofdiamonds: You do the same for me. And no, I don't mind at all. Please distract me.

Rusherone: Okay. I guess I should start with my family. I came out to them today.

Kingofdiamonds: Oh my god! Was it okay? Did they accept you?

Rusherone: Totally. My mom's the best. Even my sister was only a little freaked out. They both still love me and that's all I care about.

Kingofdiamonds: I'm so happy for you. I know you were worried about it.

Rusherone: Yeah I mean I thought it would be okay, but you don't know for sure until you're in the moment.

Kingofdiamonds: Right. I'm proud of you. That's such a scary thing.

Rusherone: Thanks. That was the good part of my day.

Kingofdiamonds: What's the bad?

Kendall leaned back into his sofa, settling the laptop over his thighs and wondering where to begin.

Rusherone: Remember when you talked about kissing? What you expect in a kiss?

Kingofdiamonds: Sort of. A lot of hands and grabbing and touching. But it doesn't always have to be that way. Tender kisses sound nice, too.

Rusherone: Right, I get that. But I've come to realize that I want the same thing. I need that passion, that feeling of desperation in my partner because it's what I feel. I need to know my boyfriend wants me just as badly.

Kingofdiamonds: That makes sense. Does your guy not?

Rusherone: My guy holds back a lot. I found out tonight there's a reason for that, and it's a lot to deal with because I'm afraid it's not going to change. What if he's always holding back?

Kingofdiamonds: Is he just shy? Did something bad happen in his past?

Rusherone: No. I thought the same thing but it's nothing like that. He's aware of it, though. He brought it up himself tonight, which surprised me. You talked about grandma kisses?

Kingofdiamonds: I did. Are you still at that level with him?

Rusherone: Kind of. Every time I tried to take it further, he avoided it. At one point he seemed into it but then he stopped me and explained why he is the way he is and asked me to give him time.

Kingofdiamonds: And because you're an awesome dude, you agreed to. Right?

Rusherone: Actually...I'm not awesome. That's why I feel like a shitty person right now.

Kingofdiamonds: You dumped him?

Rusherone: No. I told him I needed time to think. Which is why I'm here now, because all I could think about once I left was talking to you about all of this and getting your opinion. I don't know what to do.

Kingofdiamonds: You said before he's worth the wait.

Rusherone: He is, as long as he's willing to change. He told me he wants it to work for us and wants one more date to prove it.

Kingofdiamonds: Okay, so it sounds like he's trying.

Rusherone: He definitely is.

Kingofdiamonds: Then what's the problem? If he's worth the wait, you wait.

Rusherone: I don't know if I can.

Kingofdiamonds: Do you have a choice?

Rusherone: No, but the problem here is that I don't know if I can physically stand this. My sex drive is out of control lately. What if I push him too far before he's ready?

Kingofdiamonds: You just have to restrain yourself and wait. Use me in the meantime. ;)

Rusherone: I can't do that if we're committed to each other.

Kingofdiamonds: Ah. So that happened, then.

Rusherone: No, it didn't. I need to decide if that's what I want.

Kingofdiamonds: I thought you did.

Rusherone: I do, but I think I need more.

Kingofdiamonds: What do you mean?

Rusherone: I'm not explaining myself well. My head's all over the place. Okay, let me figure out how to put this into words.

Kingofdiamonds: Take your time.

Rusherone: I've never been with anyone before, you know? Never dated before him.

Kingofdiamonds: Right.

Rusherone: So I'm learning as I go.

Kingofdiamonds: Sure, makes sense.

Rusherone: I didn't think about sex much before, or dating. So I didn't have any expectations going into this.

Kingofdiamonds: And now you do?

Rusherone: I need passion. I need fire. I don't know how else to explain it.

Kingofdiamonds: If it's any consolation, you're explaining it well enough that my dick is paying attention.

Kendall laughed again, relieved that he wasn't alone in his idea of what a relationship should be.

Rusherone: So you understand. Grandma kisses aren't gonna do it for me.

Kingofdiamonds: I totally understand. Not that I've ever kissed anyone, but when I do, I want the fire and the passion, too.

Rusherone: So here's my problem. What if it doesn't exist?

Kingofdiamonds: I guess you find someone else. Or wait for him to get there.

Rusherone: No, I mean what if it doesn't exist AT ALL? What if my idea of what it should be is just a myth? And I give up this amazing guy who is kind and gorgeous and funny and smart only to never find what I'm looking for and realize too late I should've held on to him while I had the chance? What if it just doesn't exist?

Kingofdiamonds: Then I'm going to be extremely disappointed in life.

Rusherone: Right? I know what I want. There's another guy who makes me feel it every time we look at each other.

Kingofdiamonds: Not the asswipe. Are you still into him?

Rusherone: I can't help it! I see things in his eyes that make me want...THINGS. So many things. It's getting harder to ignore him and I'm starting to think he might be a closet gay and what if I can't control myself? What if one day I'm out with my guy and he's there and I just snap and shove him into a closet somewhere and take him down?

Kingofdiamonds: Oh god, that's hot.

Rusherone: RIGHT? I'm so afraid of that happening. I want to stay with my guy and try to do the right thing. I do think he's worth the wait. But in the meantime I'm being tempted by this pretty asshole in tight jeans and I want to pound him through a fucking wall. Which is wrong, it's so unfair to my guy. It's like I'm cheating on him.

Kingofdiamonds: It's not cheating if you aren't a thing.

Rusherone: But I have to make that decision. And once I do, then it's cheating. I won't even be able to have fun with you, I'll have to go back to doing everything alone in my room with just visions of him and you to keep me going. And that will also feel like I'm cheating!

Kingofdiamonds: Hey, it's gonna be okay. Calm down.

Rusherone: I can't! I don't know what to do!

Kingofdiamonds: Remember what we talked about last night? Laying in bed together after sex, cuddled up watching T.V.?

Rusherone: Yeah.

Kingofdiamonds: Go there now.

Rusherone: What?

Kingofdiamonds: Close your eyes and go there now. Feel me next to you. Holding you and kissing you softly. Running a hand down your back. Nuzzling your neck.

Rusherone: God, that's nice.

Kingofdiamonds: Right?

Rusherone: I can see it so clearly.

Kingofdiamonds: Me, too. Does it help?

Rusherone: Yes, but it also makes things worse because in my head you look like him.

Kingofdiamonds: Like who?

Rusherone: The asswipe.

Kingofdiamonds: Are you shitting me?

Rusherone: No. I'm sorry, I didn't plan that but from the start, I've pictured him when I think of you.

Kingofdiamonds: So you think I'm pretty then? :P

Rusherone: Apparently.

Kingofdiamonds: I am, you know. I've been told I should model.

Rusherone: Somehow I knew you were hot.

Kingofdiamonds: Can I tell you a secret?

Rusherone: Should I be scared?

Kingofdiamonds: Maybe. In my head, you look like my hot guy, too.

Rusherone: Your buddy's boyfriend?

Kingofdiamonds: Yeah. It sucks because I see him and I think of you and that just makes me want him even more.

Rusherone: Exactly! Why do we torture ourselves like this?

Kingofdiamonds: Because all we think about is sex.

Rusherone: Not true. Sometimes I think about other things with you.

Kingofdiamonds: Like what?

Rusherone: Like what you just said. Sharing a bed with you and just enjoying that. Sleeping with you. Actual sleep.

Kingofdiamonds: I'd kill for that.

Rusherone: Same. We need to talk about something else.

Kingofdiamonds: Sure. As far as your guy, I think you need to give him a chance.

Rusherone: Yeah?

Kingofdiamonds: Yeah. He probably just isn't ready for sex and needs to be eased into it.

Rusherone: He told me tonight he's had sex before. And liked it.

Kingofdiamonds: What the fuck. Then why is he holding back?

Rusherone: Because he's in love with the asswipe.

Kingofdiamonds: WHAT?

Rusherone: I had wondered before if there were feelings, but tonight he admitted it. The asswipe's straight, though. At least he claims to be. And the reason my guy wants to date me is to get over him.

Kingofdiamonds: Oh no. No, that's a bad situation. You need to get out of there.

Rusherone: But I like him. He likes me. This could work.

Kingofdiamonds: Okay, but do you really want to compete with this pretty boy constantly? That would make me feel inferior. Like I could never measure up.

Rusherone: He says I'm perfect, that I'm everything he's ever wanted in a man.

Kingofdiamonds: If that was true, he wouldn't still be hung up on the asswipe.

Rusherone: I guess. But he's trying. He begged me tonight to give him another chance and I want to, but I'm also scared it's never going to change. But what if I walk away and he ends up being the best thing that could've happened to me?

Kingofdiamonds: I think you have to trust your gut. Go with your feelings. It's kind of a foreign concept to me but I've been learning a lot more about myself since I started doing that. I'm writing songs now, which I never did before.

Rusherone: You write songs?

Kingofdiamonds: Yeah. It's really cool. It sucks that I have to be hurting or super emotional to be able to do it, but I feel better once it's done. The point is you have to accept your feelings instead of trying to shove them under a rug.

Rusherone: What if my feelings lead me to fuck my boyfriend's best friend?

Kingofdiamonds: Then he's a very lucky man. :P

Rusherone: Haha stop I'm serious!

Kingofdiamonds: Okay, here's the bottom line. Do you think your guy will ever be able to get over the asswipe? And if he does, will he be able to satisfy you physically as well as emotionally?

Rusherone: I don't know. There's no way to know, and that's what I hate.

Kingofdiamonds: What is your gut telling you?

Rusherone: That I should give him a chance.

Kingofdiamonds: Okay. There's your answer. What can it hurt to go on one more date? If you're not feeling it, let it go and look elsewhere.

Rusherone: He said he wanted to try so I kissed him right before I left. Like REALLY kissed him.

Kingofdiamonds: Tongue this time? ;)

Rusherone: Yes, there was tongue. I even like...I don't know how to put it into words. I squeezed his ass and dragged him against me and that sounds so bad.

Kingofdiamonds: Doesn't sound bad to me.

Rusherone: I just mean saying the actual words out loud sounds cheesy. So I did that as a test, you know? Figured if there was any fire there, and he actually let it happen, I'd know.

Kingofdiamonds: Okay?

Rusherone: Nothing. I was hard. I was kissing him with everything in me. He was letting me do it.

Kingofdiamonds: So what's the problem?

Rusherone: He wasn't doing it back. Sure, he allowed it, but he wasn't hard. He was barely touching me. It was like he was going through the motions. I want someone who does more than that.

Kingofdiamonds: Do you think it's just because he was emotional? Maybe he needs to psyche himself out a little bit first?

Rusherone: He shouldn't have to! Shouldn't that sort of thing just be natural?

Kingofdiamonds: I guess. I've never experienced it so I don't know. But maybe next time he'll be ready. Is he worth one more chance?

Rusherone: Yeah.

Kingofdiamonds: Then give him that. Give him a chance to be with you now that he's cleared his conscience. I know that with my buddy, that would hold him back. The dude feels guilty over everything. Maybe your guy's the same way.

Rusherone: I could see that, actually. Okay. One more date. But if I'm still not feeling it, I'm going to do us both a favor and call it quits.

Kingofdiamonds: Sounds like a plan.

Rusherone: I feel better that I at least have made a decision. Thank you.

Kingofdiamonds: You're very welcome.

Rusherone: We've talked enough about me. How was your day?

Kingofdiamonds: Good and bad. Spent a lot of it trying not to drool over the boyfriend. But also had a talk with my buddy and he reassured me he's not going to forget me even when things get serious with the boyfriend. Which it seems to be doing really fast.

Rusherone: How are you handling that?

Kingofdiamonds: Better. Not great, but better. The truth is I talked to him just before you showed up tonight and I was going crazy, so thank you for the distraction.

Rusherone: I'm glad I could help with my incessant whining. :P

Kingofdiamonds: Stop, you're like my knight in shining armor, rescuing me from myself.

Rusherone: A knight, huh?

Kingofdiamonds: Totally. Whisk me up onto your horse and ride away with me into the sunset.

Rusherone: Somehow that came across as blatantly sexual. I can't even enjoy a romantic vision without turning it into sex.

Kingofdiamonds: Is that bad? ;)

Rusherone: It will be once I officially have a boyfriend.

Kingofdiamonds: But you don't right now, so...let's talk more about how I'll be riding your...horse. Will we be going bareback?

"Oh fuck," Kendall muttered. King had a way of doing this to him, flipping that switch in two seconds flat.

Rusherone: I'm really going to miss this when it has to stop. You have such a way with words.

Kingofdiamonds: So it worked? You're in the mood?

Rusherone: I am ALWAYS in the mood. And that's the problem.

Kingofdiamonds: Let's fix that then. Let me get rid of your pants.

Rusherone: Jesus, you're so hot.

Kingofdiamonds: I'm horny. And lonely. And so willing to do anything you command me to.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck." The sweats came off in a hurry, Kendall groaning at the freedom as his cock swung up begging for attention. King was right, this wasn't cheating. Yet.

Rusherone: You'd better be naked.

Kingofdiamonds: All that's left are my boxers. Want to help me out with that?

Rusherone: Sure. I'm just gonna slip my hand right inside there and...oh look what I found.

Kingofdiamonds: Fuck.

Rusherone: You're so ready for me.

Kingofdiamonds: You have no idea.

Rusherone: Tell me.

Kingofdiamonds: It's out. Waiting. Begging. Touch me.

Rusherone: You're warm in my hand. Heavy. Thick.

Kingofdiamonds: Your hand feels like fire.

Rusherone: Imagine what my mouth will feel like.

"Jesus!" James called out, his breathing already stilted. He wondered if Rush was having the same problem. He gasped when he remembered that he had a way to find out.

Hoping this wasn't too much, James found the number in his phone and pressed the button for a call.

Please pick up please pick up please I need to hear you come.

The ringing stopped. There was silence on the other end before the sound of a sudden intake of air.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit

Rusherone: No words. We agreed on no words.

Kingofdiamonds: Yes fine I can hear you breathing and it's the hottest thing ever.

Rusherone: I can hear you, too. Where's your hand?

James moved shaking fingers to grip himself the way he imagined Rush would. A soft moan escaped his lips.

Rusherone: Holy fuck I just heard that. Do that again.

James stroked himself slowly a few times, shivering and groaning.

Rusherone: Oh my god. I can hear the actual...we should've been doing this all along.

Kingofdiamonds: You're so turned on. I can hear it in the way your breathing keeps changing. Tell me what you want. I'll do anything.

He was rewarded with a gasp that turned into a hum of pleasure.

Kingofdiamonds: You're so fucking hot.

Rusherone: I want you on your knees.

There was no hesitation. James slid the laptop onto his coffee table and placed the phone next to it, then slipped out of his boxers before kneeling in front of the two screens.

Rusherone: Holy shit. You actually just got on your knees.

Kingofdiamonds: You told me to.

A shudder ripped through Kendall, finding an outlet in the form of a loud moan. James had to bite down hard on his lip to keep from speaking his feelings out loud.

Kingofdiamonds: It's so hard not to talk.

Rusherone: I know. Just focus on my breathing.

Kingofdiamonds: You're real. You're actually real.

Rusherone: Crazy, right?

Kingofdiamonds: This is insane.

Rusherone: Want to stop?

Kingofdiamonds: Fuck no. I'm going to listen to you come.

Another moan came through, sending shockwaves of lust through James.

Kingofdiamonds: I can't take this slow. Not this time. I'm sorry.

Rusherone: I'm not going to last either. Forget the keyboard right now. Close your eyes and go for it, we'll just listen to each other.

Kingofdiamonds: I'm already close.

Rusherone: Me too. Close your eyes and feel me stroking you. HEAR me stroking you.

James let out a needy sound before following the command. He imagined it was Rush (Kendall) touching him, and before long they were competing to be heard over each others' gasps and moans. Each sound drove the other higher and higher until a whisper came through the phone.

"Scream for me."

It was exactly what James imagined Kendall might sound like during sex, and it was too much. He exploded, not holding back and letting his whines of ecstasy break free with no filter. Rush followed close behind, the sound of his bliss coming through loud and clear so that James hummed in satisfaction before all that filled the room was heavy breathing from both ends.

Don't hang up don't hang up don't hang up just let me enjoy this for another minute.

Rush didn't hang up. There was nothing except more breathing until a softly whispered "thank you" came through the phone. It made James smile, as he knew exactly how Rush was feeling at the moment.

"It was definitely my pleasure," James whispered back with a grin. The beginnings of a laugh made his heart stop, and then the sound cut off.

Rush had disconnected the call.

Rusherone: Sorry. I was afraid if I didn't hang up, I'd ruin this and start saying a bunch of shit you don't need to hear.

Kingofdiamonds: Maybe I do need to hear it.

Rusherone: I think my feelings are a jumbled mess right now and I'm not thinking clearly.

Kingofdiamonds: Did I at least help for a little bit?

Rusherone: You're fucking amazing. I wonder if we'd fall in love in person.

Kingofdiamonds: I honestly can't imagine it going any other way.

Rusherone: Yeah. Still don't want to come out, right?

Kingofdiamonds: I can't.

Rusherone: I understand. You're not ready.

Kingofdiamonds: I wish I could.

Rusherone: I think if you did, it would change your entire life.

Kingofdiamonds: That's what I'm afraid of.

Rusherone: It doesn't have to be a bad thing.

Kingofdiamonds: Tell me that after you do it at work and get fired.

Rusherone: Touche.

Kingofdiamonds: I've never heard anyone actually say that in real life. You're so adorable.

Rusherone: Not sexy?

Kingofdiamonds: Oh my god, if you have any doubts about that after what we just did, you're insane.

Rusherone: I'm going to hear those screams in my dreams tonight.

Kingofdiamonds: Maybe this time you'll actually find me.

Rusherone: I hope so.

Kingofdiamonds: So was it as incredible as you imagined it would be? Hearing me?

Rusherone: I don't even have words for it. I'm going to be thinking about you all day tomorrow, I already know it.

Kingofdiamonds: Don't make it sound like a bad thing. :P

Rusherone: If I was going to be around the asswipe tomorrow, it would be. Thank god I finally get a day off from his stupid beautiful face.

Kingofdiamonds: So you're gonna try one more date with your guy?

Rusherone: I think so. He deserves that. But the more I talk to you, the more I realize that if he can't give me this, it's not going to work. And that makes me feel shallow, like all I care about is sex. Am I a horrible person?

Kingofdiamonds: Of course not, people have needs. I"ve heard that some people just have a lower sex drive. People like us can't be satisfied without that in a relationship.

Rusherone: And that doesn't make us monsters?

Kingofdiamonds: I don't know. Maybe. I'm the wrong person to ask since I've never been in a relationship.

Rusherone: You will be. I promise, some guy is going to take one look at you and know that you're his dream come true. You'll probably feel it the second your eyes meet for the first time.

Kingofdiamonds: Can I tell you something that makes me ashamed?

Rusherone: You can tell me anything.

Kingofdiamonds: The first time I looked at my buddy's boyfriend, I felt that.

Rusherone: Oh shit. Seriously?

Kingofdiamonds: Yeah. He walked into the room and I knew about him ahead of time, I'd heard he was starting that day. So it wasn't a big surprise. The way my whole body jolted when our eyes met, though...that was a surprise. I felt like I couldn't stop staring at him.

Rusherone: What did you do?

Kingofdiamonds: I left. I fucking ran out of the room because it scared me. I'd never felt anything so powerful before.

Rusherone: And now you feel guilty because he's your friend's boyfriend.

Kingofdiamonds: Exactly. Every time I look at him there's this...something. I'm sure it's only on my end, but I hate it and I wish it would stop because I can't have him and I never will. And it's wrong to even think of him that way.

Rusherone: You can't help your feelings.

Kingofdiamonds: No, but like my buddy told me, I can help my actions. So I'm just going to try to do the right thing from now on and accept that my buddy loves him and that he makes my buddy happy. Nothing else matters, right?

Rusherone: Your feelings matter.

Kingofdiamonds: My feelings are wrong. I just wish I could find a guy who felt the same way about me that I feel about the hot guy. Or my buddy. Or even you! It sucks because you're real, but...

Rusherone: But I'm not.

Kingofdiamonds: I wish you were.

Rusherone: It wouldn't matter if I was. You're not ready to come out and I won't date in secret. That's another thing I've learned this past week. I don't want to hide my feelings in public.

Kingofdiamonds: You'd kiss me in public?

Rusherone: I'd kiss you every second I could.

James suddenly wanted that. More than he'd ever wanted anything in his life. More even than...

Holy shit. I'm in love. I'm actually IN LOVE.

Rusherone: I need to get some sleep.

Kingofdiamonds: Sure. Thanks for tonight.

Rusherone: Thank YOU. Not just for the sex, but for listening and giving me advice. For caring.

Kingofdiamonds: I know the sex stuff isn't going to continue, but I really hope the rest does. I need you.

Rusherone: I'm here. :) Goodnight, pretty boy.

Kingofdiamonds: Goodnight, my knight. I'll be thinking of you while I fall asleep.

Rusherone: In our happy place?

Kingofdiamonds: It's the only place I want to be.

Rush shocked him with a heart symbol. For the first time not feeling like he had to hide his, James did the same.